Reviews

Unfunny, dull, illogical, the antithesis of captivating storytelling. There a lot of ways to describe this corporate product. Rest assured "decent" isn't one of them.

At the very least you can hardly make an argument for it being squandered potential, since every single piece of this incredibly lame jigsaw puzzle is broken at it's core.

The CGI is genuinely ghastly, and truly embarrassing at times. With the exception of maybe five shots, everything looks utterly artificial, and beyond fake. There are moments where you have to wonder whether, or not it's actually some kind of elaborate meta joke. "Am I supposed to laugh at the disgustingly obvious CGI tears? The music certainly doesn't seem to imply so."

The funniest parts are definitely every time the filmmakers try to convince the audience, that there are real emotions being displayed, while most of the cast has a permanently frozen look of boredom, with a hefty dose of apathy on their faces.

Unfortunately for anyone like myself, who really appreciates a good disasterpiece, after the 10 minute mark even any surface level ironic enjoyment comes to a screeching halt.

At that point most of what we're shown is the powerfully cringe inducing performance by our lead actor, which one might be able to withstand, if it wasn't for the literal doubling down of having two Flashes interacting with one another for most of this poorly conceived SNL skit. It's really as painful as it sounds.

This one is a perfect example of a vacuum cleaning movie. As long as most of your senses are preoccupied with noisy housework, you'll have a pleasant viewing experience.

Just don't gaze into this thing too long, otherwise this thing might gaze into you.

From the very first minutes Knives Out presents itself as a clear cut detective murder mystery, with well rounded humor. Initially everything seems almost a little too cliché, until the second act begins and we're introduced to the true plot of the film. I won't spoil it for you, though I must admit I didn't see that one coming, and I'm rarely caught off guard.

When the twist arrives the entire narrative actually does a 180° turn, and I found myself genuinely invested, and interested to find out where the story was headed. Knives Out seemingly effortlessly turns almost all of its genre based weaknesses into strengths, in a spectacularly enthralling cinematic fashion.

The entire viewing experience is just so refreshingly rewarding, and from the marvelous performances to the entire visual presentation. With the stellar set design, editing, camera, writing, and Rian Johnson's great direction, there is hardly anything left to be desired.

I can't recommend this one enough. Knives Out is a delightfully enjoyable experience.

Going into this film I had no idea what to expect. I don't like watching trailers or reading premises, and as often as I can, I go in blind. All I knew and needed to know was that it was a Martin McDonagh written and directed film. This man always finds a way to enthrall and amaze with his trademark of poetically comedic misery.

So at the very least, I had the expectation of walking away from this cinematic experience satisfied and happy to have been there, which I certainly did.

The story revolves around small conflicts on a small Irish island in the 1920s, with the Irish civil war rumbling in the background. Indeed it's a tale of how misery only leads to more misery, the value of kindness and being simply nice.

By presenting this very small scale story with these larger than life characters The Banshees of Inisherin becomes a greatly relatable (fairy-)tale about the way war and other mindless conflict only hurts everyone involved. No matter who's in the perceived "right", in the end everyone suffers and no-one wins.

While the subject matter is certainly quite depressing and often bizarre, it makes the contrasting comedic moments all the more potent and truly hilarious. The emotional journey is everything but spelled out, and the film doesn't attempt to cheaply manipulate the audience's experience at all. The balance between the wonderfully organic escalation of events and it's awesome theatrical presentation is spot on.

Technically the camera work, the location, the editing and basically every little detail shown on screen is a feast of epic proportions. Martin McDonagh's directing and dialogue is incredibly charming and purposeful.

The accompanying performances are utterly superb, especially Colin Farrell, Brendan Gleeson and Kerry Condon. Barry Keoghan also manages to pull off a type of character, who could easily feel forced or obnoxious to near perfect endearment.

I'm happy to once again having the privilege to see such a different and unique film, by a cast and crew who clearly gave it their all.

Thank you! This film is a masterpiece.

Truth be told, the standards I had for this show are higher than almost any show in existence. However, having been burned as badly as I was because of the ending of GoT, there simply had to be something really strong to start this off, rekindle my excitement and make me care.

Yet all they showed me was sh** I saw before. Dragons, the iron throne, politics. Nothing fresh, new or interesting.

Matt Smith acting like a tough guy is just hilarious. The protagonist is so boring and cliché that I just wanted to shut it off every time she opened her mouth.

Remember how GoT started. Beyond the wall. The Night's Watch. Suddenly White Walkers appeared. There is mystery, there is blood, there is promise of awesome things to come.

I really just feel upset and disrespected that this show dared to assume that I was already invested and there was no need for a hook or stinger. Given the fact that the last time we entered this world it went down in flames.

Normally I give anything at least 40 minutes to justify it's existence, I just can't with this one, though. Not even going to rate this. I just don't care anymore.

Greed. There you go! I could end it right here.

It's pretty much common knowledge that the creators of the show were offered a deal with Disney to make Star Wars content.

Yet when they decided to prematurely rush the end of the show, in order to pursue their changing career goals, they never even considered handing the reigns to someone motivated and talented, to allow the story beats their necessary breathing room. We're talking at least 3 seasons.

No way! They had to be the ones to close the book and take all the credit.

After the dust settled, and people picked themselves up from the trauma of witnessing the utter annihilation of their beloved characters identities and arcs, they cried out in unison to have these blasphemers vanquished.

Which resulted in them becoming known as the murderers of what could have been one of the greatest and most impactful shows of all time.

Unfortunately, because of the show's structure, the damage is beyond repair. Most of the characters lead nowhere. Most of the story leads nowhere. Most of the setups shrivel and die before your very eyes.

Because of their actions motivated by greed, there is barely a reason to watch Game of Thrones in its entirety. Not unless you don't mind watching a parody of the show you just viewed for tens of hours to close out the experience.

There are some episodes that work great in isolation. There are some great scenes and some great spectacle. Maybe if you prepare yourself for immense disappointment it might be digestible.

The only satisfaction, for me at least, is knowing that the creators lost their Star Wars deal and became branded as greedy hacks who thrived on some truly talented people's hard work and still managed to fu** it all up.

I honestly didn't really have any expectations, except for a general respect. Respect for the source material, respect for themselves and most importantly respect for the audience.

It doesn't exactly succeed in any of these aspects, but it doesn't entirely fail them either. At least not most of the time.

This show's quality level is right between the Hobbit trilogy and the Lord of the Rings trilogy. It's not that brilliantly amazing, nor that breathtakingly bad, so it's okay.

But it's certainly lacking. It didn't leave a strong impression at all, mostly because of the extreme speed of things. There is no real build up of the characters or story, which serves to turn every action scene into a giant bore-fest. These characters have not yet been established and already they're fighting snow trolls, orcs and discover mysteries.

The actors are doing a good job, mostly. Cough! Cough! Charlie Vickers. Cough!

But there is no breathing room for these characters to expand. It's all: NOW! NOW! NOW!

Yet in 2 hours time this show introduces just about as many characters and as much plot as the Fellowship of the Ring did, only here it feels so much less important. I'm not just talking about the fact that we are mostly following the story of characters, who we already know will make it to the end of the show anyways, but the sheer lack of actual steaks. We have yet to establish something to care about. Something to lose.

If you want to watch this, you probably already cared about this universe way before and they know it.

TLDR: It's kinda fun. Kinda stupid. Great visually. Not offensive. Take it or leave it.

Is everyone so eager to say "nope" to Nope that they ignore the entire subtext of the film?

I understand that especially horror fans like to turn their brain off when watching their favorite gore-fest schlock. But to the more, I dunno, not brain-dead viewer this film has so much to offer.

It's a Jordan Peele horror film, what did you expect? Seriously? WTF did you expect? I expected a subversion of the old tropey alien, UFO horror genre, and I got exactly that and more.

This horror-comedy is a disturbing slow-burn with tons of meaning behind it's presentation and writing, all the while respecting the intelligence of it's audience. In vain sometimes, but admirable none the less.

The best horror films make you think about real horror. Things that actually happen. Less horrifying, more disturbing. They stick with you because of what they're saying. Not necessarily because of what they're showing, but often because of what they're not showing.

Unfortunately most horror fans have been conditioned to expect jump-scares, T&A, gore and completely on the nose BS. They are not there to think at all, they are there to watch people they don't like cry for mercy and die in horror.

This is certainly a movie that separates the horror fans from the horror connoisseurs.

This movie is truly deserving of its 5/10 rating, because it's equal parts fun and dumb. But the fun isn't dumb enough to be really fun, and the dumb is taken so seriously, that it just comes off laughable.

An R-Rating could have done wonders for this schlock. Getting some gory violence and some T&A would have been nice. It tries way to hard to be progressive in some ways, and yet with it's committee thinking wouldn't dare to pay anything but lip service to these political issues.

When it comes to action it's fine. Nothing special really. There were a few interesting moments and a couple of nice set pieces, but it couldn't keep up the momentum or maintain any underlying tension.

The plot is so silly it must have been written by some out of work clowns.

Gosling Guy gets recruited by the CIA, because he demonstrated his abilities as an assassin by being subjected to childhood trauma.

Shady Career CIA Dude does some shady stuff to promote his career. Yet he's so obviously shady, that it makes everyone around him seem insanely incompetent.

Super Smart Spy Lady breaks protocol. Is surprised by having to face any consequences for those actions. Immediately jumps ship to commit treason.

Bad Guy is pretty bad and fairly stupid. But mostly unlucky.

Kidnap Girl gets kidnapped.

Over all, it's not a complete waste of time, depending on your definition of "waste".

..that's my rating.

This movie is dumb. Very, very dumb. Logic gets chewed up and spit out entirely. This time it's all about shoving in as many references and member berries as possible.

>What's the plot? Nope. Things happening. That's the plot. Clone-girl is kidnapped by greedy bad guy. Then she gets rescued and greedy bad guy gets eaten. That's it.

>Who's the main character? Who, indeed. Who knows? Equal screen time is divided between 17 characters. You go figure it out!

>Is there any dinosaur-action? Yes. Yes there is dinosaurs fighting other dinosaurs. Dinosaurs fighting humans, and dinosaurs fighting other animals. There is even a WWE-style wrestling team-up between two dinosaurs to kill another dinosaur. Are you sick of dinosaurs yet?

>Why should anyone see this? If you enjoy a dumb, loud, nonsensical, but at least expensively overproduced mess, that you will never feel any need or desire to revisit, for as long as you live; Then this is the movie for you!

Started strong.. now we're in a toilet. Honestly, I couldn't bring myself to watch past 30 minutes of season 4 without skipping ahead. So boring!

Yet, it all started so well. Compelling characters, a decent mystery and fine story made season 1 of Stranger Things come together quite smoothly.

However, it's been season 1 for 4 season. So now it's just straight up boring, and whatever isn't boring is certainly cheap and trashy.

Well here is... some BS.

There is barely a plot to this 140 minute dump truck. The story is about magic man Dumbledoor fighting against magic man Gridelwald, who happens to be his former lover. That's it. That's all the meat to the story. Everything else is a bone dry desert with nothing of interest happening.

It's pretty insane how barren this entire movie is. It's completely empty inside. There is an attempt at communicating emotion, but it just falls flat on it's face every time, because the film-making, with the exception of the soundtrack, simply doesn't tell you to actually care.

The actors and even the director are left to their own devices, as the script just stumbles along. The dialogue is boring. The story is boring. The magic scenes on display fundamentally lack creativity and basic choreography, and are boring. The movie in it's entirety is just boring.

Thank's JK.

Time is finite. Don't spend it watching this garbage, unless you absolutely have to.

...if anything, they'd actually be understating the immense lack of quality this movie provides.

Morbius directly follows in the footsteps of Suicide Squad (2016), being just as bad, just as incomprehensible and just as pointless.

If you can show me someone who loves this movie unironically, I'll show you a liar.

The only people who wouldn't find this movie to be utter trash, are people who are either 10 years old, or people who have only seen 10 movies in their entire life.

Nobody, not even drunk people could find genuine enjoyment in this flaming pile of excrement. And I would know, because I tried.

Jared Leto sucks. Not just in the movie. Although, It's not even possible to relay any kind of interesting performances, considering the script was clearly written by a brain-damaged duck.

If you have ever farted, you have already created greater dialogue than can be found in Morbius, and you should consider working for Sony.

The story is incredibly simplistic, yet presented in the most convoluted way possible. Like any other 13 year old boy, Jared Leto experiments on himself to cure his desire to become a real man. He succeeds in creating a bat-juice that cures his debilitating disease and also turns him into a vampire with super strength and other superpowers and stuff. As expected his best buddy boy, who's also suffered from a debilitating disease, ceases the opportunity and turns himself into a vampire as well.

So they fight. And Jared Leto wins.

But why is Jared Leto involved with this at all? Wasn't ruining one comic book character enough for him. Is he going to destroy them all?

Sony really outright refuses to learn from other studios mistakes. The only times Sony has released something somewhat comprehensible, was all projects where the actual artists had most of the actual control. Like "Once Upon A Time In Hollywood", which was also produced and distributed by Sony.

This movie however, feels like everyone showed up on set with a white flag. Surrendering under the stupendous pressure of the studio, and making a deliberate and debilitating choice not to give a single fu**.

It's way too dark and ugly to look at. Just mostly black, blue and green, but mostly black. It sounds like a toilet. There was an instance where the played the exact same sound effect 3 times in a row. Not to mention the instantly forgettable score and inappropriate soundtrack choices. Just amazing.

If you are an aspiring filmmaker, I recommend watching this movie as a pitch perfect example, on how not to make a good or even passable film.

If you enjoy "100 minute car accident compilations" this might tickle you just right, as well.

Hold onto your throats! So you wont throw up. It's Morbius!

As a marketing strategy this was a success.

As a piece of art to be observed for the ages, it was not.

The most apt way to describe this thing would be an unintentional absurdist masterpiece.

It's a remake, that is worse in ever way, but also half an hour longer.

Disney could have just played a kazoo-version of the original soundtrack, over an image of Jon Favreau flipping off the camera for 2 hours, and saved themselves 400 million dollars, but whatever.

The Lion King 2019

Keep away for safety reasons. Have some respect for your eyes.

And for Gods sake, don't let your kids see it. At that point you might as well show them Saving Private Ryan. The cost of therapy would be about the same.

...because that's how far I got.

From the trailers I just hoped that the satire wasn't as flat and dull as it seemed, but unfortunately it was exactly as flat, dull and mind-numbingly boring as it seemed. The simple story of astronomers attempting to warn a distracted world about a cataclysmic event could be hilarious. If it was on South Park for example.

Yet the filmmakers can't decide on whether they want their world to act realistically or unrealistically. Even the first minutes are filled with contradictions. They clearly wanted to have their cake and eat it too, which ultimately leads to confusion. Are you trying to say something about people or society or whatever? Or not?

By cranking up the satirical elements the incredibly strange behavior of some of the characters would make some sense, but the constant flip-flopping between awkward social commentary and lackluster satire, made me quickly reconsider this viewing as a waste of time.

Comedy needs grounding. If your grounding is shaky as hell because you couldn't make up your mind what kind of movie you were creating, then the comedy ends up shaky as hell too.

TLDR: I wanted to like this, but I didn't even smirk once. That's bad.

I don't care about LoL. It's not my type of game and I had no interest in it whatsoever. I had heard about this show though.

Animation is something I always cherished and this show has gorgeous visuals. The lighting and shot composition is breathtaking.

Story-wise I didn't know what to expect at all and I was hesitant to believe the hype since it's a well known IP with a great many fans, who usually don't make for the best critics.

First episode in I liked it all quite a bit. The soundtrack was distractingly mediocre though, especially the intro, and it didn't seem very inventive from a story perspective. The pilot episode of any show has the daunting task of introducing the world, it's characters and conflict, but it was all handled very competently and I enjoyed the journey.

A few episodes in I was completely hooked. The characters, story and world-building were working in tandem so flawlessly, that I had a hard time pointing out even the tiniest mistakes, because the show-runners took great care in every aspect.

Can't wait for season 2. I have high hopes for this show.

Especially Sherlock himself. He doesn't appear very intelligent at all, in this incredibly boring sequel. Granted, he wasn't particularly genius in the first one either, but the visual translation of his intellect was at least fairly entertaining. Here they actually just gave up and turned it into a joke.

Sherlock comes off like he had a stroke or something. His entourage isn't any better and Moriarty was there too. All there's to say. He was apparently present in the movie. He didn't do much though.

The style becomes an enormous frustration point as well. From over-edited foot chases to nonsensical transitions between scenes. The editing in general is just weak here.

This movie already feels like its 30 years old.

The actors do their best, given the terribly written script. Not that it matters much. Probably would have been better with much worse performances.

The tone is all over the place. The movie starts with a bombing. Followed by a quirky funny scene. Followed by a murder of a previously established character.

Throughout I was wondering what the hell was going on. The characters in this movie spend a lot of time talking about the plot and almost no time showing it. Which made the action scenes ring hollow, pointless and completely tension free.

This entire movie plays like a filler episode on a mediocre TV show. It's very boring. Very, very boring.

I don't think I've ever seen a more shameless display of shallow, brain-dead, commercialized nonsense in my life. Actually I thought Ready Player One was excessive, but this is just straight up bizarre.

Disney is once again swinging their massive c*** and slamming it on the table for everyone to ogle at. Sure it's big, but it's as flaccid. It has no mental penetration power. There is nothing noteworthy or memorable in it.

Ryan Reynolds is a charming fellow, but he can't save this movie from flushing itself down the drain, to join all the other liquid s*** movies down there.

Everything about the experience of Free Guy feels completely artificial.

If you want to watch a movie that actually succeeds at over the top craziness and style, go no further than the Crank movies featuring Jason Statham. They are very, very high energy and unrelentingly nuts.

Polar tries so hard to be like those, but every time any "character" opens their mouths I fell asleep. It's like they replaced the dialogue with lullabies.

The plot is just nonsensical drivel, that dares to take itself seriously at times, which is just embarrassing for everyone on screen.

The editing is just terrible. Like "2016 Suicide Squad" - levels of terrible. It actually feels like watching a trailer for 110 minutes.

Which brings me to the runtime. Polar should have been 20 minutes at most. That's all it has. 20 minutes of substance stretched over 110. The bad pacing, bad performances, bad action, bad effects, bad color grading, horrible editing and a worthless script make this one of the most "but why?" - movies ever.

Overall it just felt like nobody actually cared when making this bore-fest.

The movie opens on a reflection in a puddle of water, and after finishing The Suicide Squad 2021, I understand why. This is the exact opposite of Suicide Squad 2016. A reflection, so to speak.

Because that movie was one of the worst movies ever made.

James Gun is certainly a clever writer with some hard hitting wit and sense of wicked fun, that's almost impossible to mistake, the movie actually manages to become the Suicide Squad cinematic event we all deserved, all those years ago.

Yet, I didn't even realize it was R-rated until someones face exploded in a gory close up. This movie really gets in your face, but in a good way.

There are tons of nice and exquisitely cheesy, but wholesomely heartfelt character moments, that give every last one of Suicide Squaders an opportunity to shine. And shine they do!

This is a horrifically fun movie with some great subversion. Expect the unexpected and enjoy the hell out of The Suicide Squad!

But it's not for the squeamish. This is a hard R rating. Stay away kids!

The action-movie event of the year, everybody!

Don't feel like giving this one a rating, yet.

It's cheesy as hell and that's probably why I kinda love it as well. I guess I'll never truly understand how a director can make a gritty and gory comic book-movie like Sin City and then something as weird and wholesome s Spykids or in fact.. this.

That's some flexibility right there.

I actually thought about this quite a bit. A perfect kids B-movie like this has all the wholesome elements that make it family friendly, while having just enough creative elements within a simplistic package, so that kids will never be confused by what's happening, or what's at stake.

This is certainly not a movie for adults, but the adult who made it is very experienced with adult entertainment in the cinematic sense. Don't get me wrong, this is all clean, but there is a little bit of stylistic bleed-over noticeable, for anyone paying attention.

Overall I'd say this movie is fine. Nothing special, nothing awesome, just fine.

My rating is a kids movie rating, alright.

You watch Jolt. And you forget Jolt.

There are a lot of elements to this over the top, stylish girl-power flick, that are quite enjoyable. Not least of which is Kate Beckinsale's performance as a professionally insane person. But mostly it's the movie's style and presentation.

It's a fun little pizza and beer - film, until the third act happens and it just looses all it's air. Shame, really. The self awareness just dissipates and it turns into a shadow of its previous self, within the same movie.

Jolt can be experienced, but hardly rewatched.

..this has to be some set up for a really good and meta follow-up.

The jokes in this episode are so tired and old, that it feels insanely hard to believe, that this is the same show that gave us "Tales From the Citadel".

So maybe this bad writing will all make sense a few episodes from now.

But as of now.. worst episode thus far.

I only watched the first few minutes of this show and I wont go further, so this is not a review.

Don't go into this expecting The Raid - style action, because you probably won't find it. Judging by those first few crucial moments at least.

...with a particular emphasis on characters and performances, enhanced by a fun but gritty story with some very intense action.

Hell or High Water delivers in every aspect of film-making. From purposeful camerawork, subtle editing and directing choices to make way for the expertly written dialogue and performances by acting legend Jeff Bridges and acting talents Chris Pine and Ben Foster. There is a general sense of real people in real situations within a progressively strong and interesting story. It somehow manages to deliver a real punch without ever feeling dry or worn out.

It's just as long as it has to be and never outstays its welcome.