[Monk is compulsively trying to fix the game up]
Sharona Fleming: Adrian! Adrian, it's okay. It's clean enough.
[Monk goes back to cleaning. The players look rather frustrated, but Stottlemeyer is smiling to himself]
Captain Leland Stottlemeyer: OK guys, we're going to be here awhile, so if anybody's got any homework they need to do, they might as well get it out now.
Adrian Monk: Play ball!
[the catcher cleanly catches the ball right past the batter]
Adrian Monk: Safe!
[the catcher throws it back]
Adrian Monk: Strike one! Ball! Ball one! That was a ball. That was ball one. Ball one!
[the catcher, pitcher and batter just look confused. So does Monk]
Adrian Monk: No - no, it's a strike!
[Stottlemeyer is very amused, but the kids are agitated]
Adrian Monk: Strike! Ball! Ball!
[the catcher pesters Monk to speed up play. Monk signals with one hand T-shaped on the other to stop the game]
Adrian Monk: Time - time out!
[points out to the pitcher in front of him. The pitcher points to himself as if to ask "You mean me?" Monk then points to the helmet he is wearing. He then puts either hand on each side and straightens it. The kid realizes he means his own hat and tilts the crooked hat's rim to face the front. Adrian then tilts his helmet so that the kid tips his hat until it's perfect. He puts his fingers together to show he's pleased and it's just right]
Adrian Monk: Play ball.
[Cuts to him bending over home plate with a handy wipe, polishing it off. As he goes back to his spot, a little batter comes up and slips on the polished plate, which has no traction. Sharona cover her eyes. Adrian looks around to see if anyone noticed. Next, he's picking off little stray fabrics sticking up off the softball with his fingers]
Captain Leland Stottlemeyer: [helping his team with their math] That eighth is where you have to carry...