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Survival Zone (1983)
1/10
Zone Burn Out...
21 September 2020
Warning: Spoilers
A family of farmers take on a gang of cannibal motorcycle bikers in a post apocalypse wasteland, while joining forces with a stranger. Survival Zone has a workable premise, but it's filmed, directed and acted like a third rate Million Dollar Man rip off. In fact with so much barbarism and brute force that this genre brings, it's amazing how completely boring this movie is. It feels more like a dreadful retread of Last House On The Left or Straw Dogs then it does Mad Max and yet the film just lumbers to it's unexciting conclusion. Characters are nondescript, action is weak and suspense is nil. Survival Zone than is an absolute low point in a genre that said output rarely rates higher than a 2 star rating. The type of movie so repetitive, redundant and ridiculous that it doesn't end so much as it sags and limps to it's long overdue ending.

0 Out Of 4-(Bottom Of The Barrel)
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4/10
Day After Tomorrow...
19 September 2020
Warning: Spoilers
A defective human is trained by Woody Strode to turn the tables on a group of elite hunters who hunt people like him for sport in a typical Spaghetti Apocalypse flick that is slightly better and is sort of competent, but ultimately lags at times because the characters both heroic and villainous are lame. Actually there is an exception, Woody Strode is enjoyable, in fact he reminded me of Louis Gossett Jr in Iron Eagle before the lovable LGJ became a B. Movie staple. The training sequences are easily the best thing as Strode steals what show there is here. Aside from that it's the typical offering, more competent by Z grade standards, yet less ambitious or indeed goofy than others. Dubbing is of course awful, action is alright in a low expectations kind of way and the script is all leaden melodrama performed by non-actors (The previously mentioned Strode excepted) The Final Executioner then is probably better than 90% of most Italian Mad Max rip offs, as far as that goes, but it's not that much better.

* * Out Of 4-(Fair)
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3/10
Time Warp
17 September 2020
Warning: Spoilers
Exterminators Of The Year 3000 chronicles the apocalypse where water is a precious commodity and Road Warrior villain rip offs try to defend such from the thirsty civilian society (or something) in either case they attack anyone who ventures out of said cave and for reasons vague. This is a really bad movie, like it is horrendous, and it is also hilarious. One big laugh is how uncool the hero's car is. Like compare such to Mad Max, indeed the car here give the golf carts of that Warriors Of The Wasteland a run for the money. At least those had blades and flame throwers. There's also some hilarity in the kid with a bionic arm (Don't ask) who often looks likes such is being held on with duct tape and then our heroes and heroine making boneheaded mistakes with their tankers and then comes a twist ending that makes no real sense and renders the movie pointless. In terms of laughable stupidity Exterminators just keeps on giving. Unintentional laughs aside, Exterminators is typical Spaghetti Apocalypse with a very predictable plot, horrible dubbing and non-existent direction. The type of disaster that ma and pa shops put out for small town teens (kids like me) to rent when we couldn't rent The Road Warrior and didn't want to wait for the real thing. Therefore Exterminators is no worse or better, but unlike say After The Fall Of New York or Endgame, such doesn't contain surprising competent filmmaking or enough lunacy and memorable absurdity to make it a great bad movie. Recommended then for the more nuanced Bad Movie lover, where as the more inexperienced should probably try Cyborg or Rats:Night Of Terror first.

*1/2 Out Of 4-(Poor)
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Thunder (1983)
2/10
Knock knock on wood
17 September 2020
Warning: Spoilers
Italian heart throb(?) Mark Gregory stars as a Native American Rambo clone who after protesting the bank building on his tribe's land is then later beat up by the locals and finally beaten up by the cops swipes a bow and arrow and steals a bulldozer to destroy the town in a derivative but very boring First Blood clone. Thunder Warrior represents a very sad case of good news and bad news scenario. The good news is the film is adequately made, the production values are serviceable and the story has even a few things that are actually timely now via the politics, and yet as much I would love to sing the praises of such, the problem is the story is too simplistic, the dialogue too leaden, the directing too boring and action too lame to add up to anything but a one star review. It's a shame too, cause I find Mark Gregory a Bad Movie icon, but this dull dud sans any of the goofy dumb charm or unintentional hilarity of 1990:Bronx Warriors or Escape From The Bronx. In fact for a movie that promised big machine guns and Rambo esque action, Thunder Warrior rates as a big loser.

* Out Of 4-(Bad)
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7/10
Demolition Men...
29 August 2020
Warning: Spoilers
This time the rough and tumble commando squad (Stallone, Statham, Lundgren, Crews, Couture and albeit briefly, Li) take on Jean Villain (A wonderfully hammy Jean-Claude Can Damme) and his first lieutenant (up and newcomer Adkins) a brutal crimelord who is trying to get his hands on platonioum, and who has killed one of the Expendables, and while being overmatched our favorite action stars are aided by Schwarzenegger, Bruce Willis and Chuck Norris when things look hopeless in a corny, but ultimately enjoyable entry. The action sequences are a marked improvement as this time there is no lame shaky cam, Lundgren,Crews and Couture are actually really funny, and the movie delivers as expected. In fact this is probably the best entry if only for the premise to hit it's peak .Of course Van Damme makes quite the foil and while the ending (after the final showdown) feels a little out of place, Expendables 2 is the perfect capper to the nostalgia we fans of the golden age of action starring our genre favorites. The only other observation I had, was how the movie that this feels like most, is the 5 Deadly Venom movies in which those Kung Fu movies often introduced each actor who played said venom (despite it not being a sequel) like Flag Of Iron or Crippled Avengers. All in all I enjoyed the first 2 and was so-so on 3, and doubt we will get a part 4, which is too bad cause I wanted Michael 'American Ninja' Dudikoff, Steven Seagal, Nicolas Cage (as the main baddie) and Jackie Chan in it, but I'm happy to see the majority of these genre faves all together one last time on the big screen.

* * * Out Of 4-(Good)
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Supercop (1992)
8/10
Superman from Hong Kong
28 August 2020
Warning: Spoilers
Jackie Chan reprises his role of Superman esque cop (he fights like Superman) who is given an assignment and Chinese partner (Michelle Yeoh) to take down a new mobster that the Chinese government wants gone. Supercop is probably to gritty Kung Fu cops what Hard Boiled was to heroic bloodshed flicks with this working so well as a Kung Fu cop caper. Look, the story has been done before and the dramatics are standard cop undercover cliches, but again what makes this one so great is that the fight sequences are just that awesome. American 80s action are compulsively watchable for the same reason, but this takes it to the moon, and when you have fight sequences that good, Chan in his peak form and Yeoh proving she can give as good as she gets, You have all the ingredients for a winner. Indeed only the contrived plot thread if Chan's girlfriend May(Maggie Cheung) being abducted to force Chan's hand in partaking in a rescue mission for the Mr. Big detracts from the breezy flow, but through it all Supercop is a fantastically entertaining sequel. Probably the best Jackie Chan movie of the 90s (Though we'll find out when I rewatch Crime Story and Who Am I) and for that I recommend Supercop highly.

* * *1/2 Out Of 4-(Very Good)
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7/10
Mall bombers
27 August 2020
Warning: Spoilers
Jackie Chan returns as a cop who goes undercover to stop terrorists who blow up a mall and ultimately kidnap Chan's fetching squeeze (Maggie Cheung) in a mostly diverting, albeit disjointed sequel. Police Story 2 actually has the same flaws that many American 80s action has, in that the movie is action focused and the story is merely threaded through a pretext that just goes through a relatively formulaic formula. The action sequences are of course awesome, definitely better than most of it's ilk, but upon rewatching the trilogy (New Police Story and Lockdown I hear are unrelated sequels) Police Story 2 ultimately is the weakest, lacking the jaw dropping action and humor of part 1, while lacking the focus and grit of Supercop. I'm not at all saying this isn't worth seeing, it's just that Police Story 2 while good, isn't quite up to Chan's best, in either the humor or fight arena. Still 80s Hong Kong Jackie Chan is still far better than most genre product of its time. Also the final showdown is a real classic

* * * Out Of 4-(Good)
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Cyberjack (1995)
6/10
Cyber Assassin
23 August 2020
Warning: Spoilers
Michael Dudikoff stars as Nick James, an ex-cop turned Janitor who (through plot contrivance) ends up doing battle against Brion James, a terrorist trying to rule the world via cyber space in this surprisingly entertaining goof-fest. Cyberjack AKA Virtual Assassin is a pretty standard issue Die Hard riff with an absolutely silly idea to base it on the villain trying to take over cyberspace. It's actually rather well made for a straight to video rip off and James is a wonderful villain with very quotable lines. My favorite being 'Tonight, God will be lucky if I return his phone calls!' being the stand out. Dudikoff is more lively than than usual playing the role tongue in cheek and while the film is fairly low budget, the special effects have their moments and while things follow a predictable path, there are a few nice touches (Like Dudikoff using a Robot device to help fight the bad guys) that give it a jolt. Cyberjack then, while certainly no classic, and doesn't match the American Ninja or Avenging Force charm, is probably Dudikoff's best 90s endeavor. I'm just more surprised that I liked it more than I thought I would.

* *1/2 Out Of 4-(Pretty Good)
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5/10
Burning For You
21 August 2020
Warning: Spoilers
Robert Ginty returns with flamethrower, machine guns, garbage truck and sidekick BeeGee to take on X (A hilarious Mario Van Peebles) after X cripples the Exterminator's girlfriend. Exterminator 2 is of course pretty bad, it's Death Wish 3 but way dumber and that is both a good thing and a bad thing. Bad thing via if you like filmmaking and craftsmanship and quality, a good thing if you cherish bad movies. Indeed given our current times, this movie has aged well and the over the top bad guys and ridiculous Mad Max rip off melodrama, make this far more entertaining than even I care to admit to. The scene that sets the scene for this beautiful disaster is when CVan Peebles sprays an X on a subway worker and throws him in front of an oncoming train and the close up to Van Peebles' face either has you shutting it off or in stitches. I was the latter. Exterminator 2 feels like an Italian Mad Max rip off with Death Wish 3 level of absurdity. For me it's a match made in (Bad Movie) heaven. A bad film for sure, but exactly as goofy as you would expect. The type of movie you just aren't brave enough to fully recommend, but know you're happy to have on DVD.

* * Out Of 4-(Fair)
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3/10
Close the book
20 August 2020
Warning: Spoilers
Mitzi Kapture returns as Angel who finds her mother, before she is killed by madam Maud Adams who runs a white slavery ring and has Angel's previously not mentioned sister in this lifeless sequel. Angel 3 is literally the movie I feared the first one would be, mainly a soap opera meets lifetime movie full of overripe melodrama, competent but flat acting and a focus on none too sexy take on hookers, Angel of course turned out to be pretty decent, full of energy and was surprisingly character driven, Angel III is merely by the numbers. That said, it is better than Avenging Angel solely because the lack of comedy makes 3 merely stupid and dull instead of also annoying. The problem then with Angel III is there just isn't anything exciting here. It's competently made, but beyond professionalism there is little else that is noteworthy about this unnecessary sequel.

*1/2 Out Of 4-(Poor)
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2/10
Horrible
20 August 2020
Warning: Spoilers
This time Angel, now a law student hits the streets to get vengeance on the mob guys who killed the cop (her father figure) who got her off the streets, while getting gun-slinging help from Rory Calhoun, Susan Tyrell and some guy with a Yo-Yo in this boring and very unfunny sequel. Avenging Angel, after the surprising quality of its predecessor, is a total letdown. You look at the back of the cover and you see a tied up guy with a bullet hole in his head, Angel pointing a gun and you see Rory Calhoun looking like he's going gun-slinging and yet the context of both scenes aren't action or even exploitive but in a comic tone. Now the first 20 minutes hint at something promising, sleazy action wise along the lines of a Death Wish 4 rip off, but then it just gets really dull, until you find to your horror, these scenes are supposed to be funny. Avenging Angel's Betsy Russell has some screen presence (Though Part 1s Wilkes is a better actress) and warmth, but this embarrassingly bad movie gives her nothing to work with.

* Out Of 4-(Bad)
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Angel (1983)
6/10
Angel of the mourning
20 August 2020
Warning: Spoilers
Donna Wilkes stars as an abandoned 15 year old, Molly who hooks to pay for her private school and rent while being targeted by a viscous killer (Character actor John Diehl)in this better than expected exploitation flick. I think the reason this movie transcends the tastelessness of the premise is because it's character driven. It's not always believable, but the focus on character then say the hooker element gives the film some unexpectedly strong moments. Indeed, when the killer starts wasting Angel's friends we actually feel for the character and their grief. Even the jerk cop in these movies is gruff, but likable and the ear to dialogue and character development make the drama sort of captivating. Also the film is well made, the characters of the dragqueen (Shawn) and the Cowboy (Calhoun) add some legitimate laughs, and all around Angel despite the sleaziness of it's premise actually feels like a legit movie. Indeed even Roger Ebert was taken aback by this turn of events and gave it a thumbs up, and in that spirit I too, recommend it.

* *1/2 Out Of 4-(Pretty Good)
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We Die Young (2019)
4/10
Well intended cliches
20 August 2020
Warning: Spoilers
Jean-Claude Can Damme stars as a mute soldier who ultimately helps a kid escape a druglord and his gang looking to kill him in this derivative message movie that while not terrible, just can't come close to movies like Fresh, Juice, Menace II Society and Blood In Blood Out. The acting is fine, although Van Damme does sound silly communicating through a device, the acting works and suspense does build slowly. The problem with this movie is that it's just too derivative and it just isn't nearly as good as the other films I brought up. Indeed the script never deviates from predictability and so the result is more Angel Town than say Boyz in The Hood. I do think all actors can do better movies and Van Damme would be interesting in such a movie, but you need a bigger budget and a much better script. A curiousity for fans of the Muscles from Brussels, but beyond that it's pretty routine.

* * Out Of 4-(Fair)
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7/10
Snake bitten
12 August 2020
Warning: Spoilers
Jackie Chan stars as an orphaned punching bag (literally) who is trained in a Kung Fu style by a begger master (The always glorious Simon Yuen) that ultimately makes him a target of a viscous master looking to obliterate all practitioners of that particular style. Snake In The Eagle's Shadow is my favorite old school Jackie Chan martial arts film, now Drunken Master is probably better made, The Young Master probably has better fights and Fearless Hyena is probably more campy, but for me this one brings all of the elements together in just the right way. Not only that but the soundtrack is amazing, Chan and Yuen have wonderful chemistry and the Kung Fu showdowns crackle. Much like Spaghetti Westerns, Kung Fu movies are typically almost always watchable, but the ones with a sense of style are really special and Snake In the Eagle's Shadow is one of the more stylish outings. The climax in particular is very impressive. For me it's a shame this one remains one of Jackie Chan's disappointingly under appreciated and little seen capers. Definitely see it, but be sure to get a good quality DVD of it.

* * * Out Of 4-(Good)
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2/10
The Big Bore
12 August 2020
Warning: Spoilers
Jackie Chan plays a fighter forced to fight by mobsters who abduct his brother's fiancee to get him to fight a wrestler esque fighter who kisses his opponents for some reason in this dreadful martial arts drivel. I love Jackie Chan, I plan on reviewing much of his movies, and there will be a lot of 3 star and higher flicks, indeed Wheels On Meals, Dragons Forever, Police Story and Drunken Master II are easy 4 star category. I also am a fan of his old school phase, for crying out loud I even enjoy Fearless Hyena, New Fists Of Fury and Fantasy Mission Force as guilty pleasures. This movie is so boring, it just doesn't depict action we expect from Chan and even worse it doesn't even give us action we'd expect from Chuck Norris. The story itself is as expected, silly and dumb enough to be fun, but the problem is how boring it all is, the directing is so inept and the framing of shots don't really flow, the roller skating rink scene is a perfect example of such. I really was hoping this would be funny or be mindless fun, but while this movie is laughable it's not funny. And in the fight arena The Big Brawl is an absolute joke.

* Out Of 4-(Bad)
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10/10
Bug Killers
5 August 2020
Warning: Spoilers
Johnny Rico (Van Dien) decides to become a citizen and join the Infantry after his high school sweetheart Carmen (Richards) decides to go career as a pilot, of course war with insects breaks out and all of a sudden Johnny rises through the ranks and realizes why he fights in this absolute 90s classic. Starship Troopers is one of those movies that can be enjoyed on a simple action level, but also enjoyed as being sort of disturbing, while the film is in fact a treat for the senses, it's honestly the subtlety that makes Starship Troopers so great. For instance, there is no question our protagonist joins for the wrong reasons. Mainly so his girlfriend doesn't leave him as well as her being a citizen and him being a civilian, but as the battle wages on even when reunited with his high school sweetheart it becomes clear Rico has left her behind and fallen in love with his new job. In fact Rico's new squeeze Dizzy Flores (Dina Meyer), best friend Ace (Jake Busy) and mentor Jean Rasczak (Ironside) by far become the only family Rico cares about. It is in fact the sequence where Carmen disapproves at the idea putting troops in harm's way and Rico's response of indifference is a sharp contrast, in that Carmen still has humanity and Rico doesn't. Of course let us not forget that the fight sequences are breathtaking, it's fun to see Ironside and Brown in mentor roles and Verhoeven is such a talent when it comes to genre movies. Starship Troopers is then pretty much one of my favorite movies that I watch at least once a year. A movie in the same category of rewatchability as Alien, Aliens, The Thing, Predator, Body Snatchers and The Hidden. (I Come In Peace and Pitch Black are honorable mentions, if I'm honest) as the very best in Alien rampage movies, and I consider this one to be one of my all time favorites. That said, avoid all the sequels.

* * * * Out Of 4-(Excellent, must see!)
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Don't Kill It (2016)
6/10
Killing Joke
5 August 2020
Warning: Spoilers
Dolph Lundgren inspiredly plays a Cajun or Southern Demon Hunter Jebediah Woodley who joins forces with an FBI agent Pierce (The fetching Klebe) to capture a demon that possesses who ever kills it's host in this clever and far more lively(and hilarious) than it has any right to be Lundgren flick. Don't Kill It is a breath of fresh air for those of us who enjoyed the 80s action film starring our favorite action stars, only to be disappointed for the last couple of years due to how dull such were. Indeed, one started avoiding them because what was once cheesy fun is now merely tired and inept. Thankfully Don't Kill It, is inspired, clever and actually well directed. In fact I enjoyed this probably as much as I did the old school classics, everything about Don't Kill It is stylishly helmed, thought out and inspiredly scripted, even the opening for a sequel is creative. Indeed while you do wish there were maybe a slightly bigger budget, seeing Lundgren as a Southern fried gentleman who talks with a twang makes it all worthwhile. Not for all tastes perhaps, but as far as later Lundgren flicks go, Don't Kill It is pretty decent.

* *1/2 Out Of 4-(Pretty Good)
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Dead Trigger (2017)
3/10
Deadlocked...
5 August 2020
Warning: Spoilers
Dolph Lundgren stars as an elite soldier who leads a group of gamers turned dead triggers on a rescue mission to save doctors from zombies and along the way are double-crossed by the corporate entity that sent them. Dead Trigger is better than what I thought it would be, indeed there are moments I saw the vision, unfortunately though this movie is too low budget to work as anything but uninspired hackwork. Indeed, it's sort of disappointing to see Lundgren and Washington largely wasted. While I tend to avoid my beloved action stars straight to streaming work (You can't even trust Stallone and Bruce Willis, nowadays if it's not theatrical) this one while slightly better, is still pretty lame and very predictable. Only die hard Dolph Lundgren fans will be into this, but Don't Kill is by far your better bet.

*1/2 Out Of 4-(Poor)
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The Protector (1985)
4/10
Police Potboiler
28 July 2020
Warning: Spoilers
Jackie Chan plays Billy Wong, a tough cop from the states who with his new partner Danny Aiello goes to Hong Kong to avenge his old partner's death and squash the drug lords. The problem here is simply Chan doesn't work in an 80s Action scenario because simply put he's not the first guy you imagine in a Cobra or Dirty Harry styled play by his own rules cop in such a police pot boiler. Indeed, it's amazing how much Glickenhaus wastes a lot of Chan's natural charisma and tries to make Chan play a hard boiled detective. Indeed it's so misconceived that it actually becomes grotesquely amusing, especially when Chan drops the F bomb and calls people SOBs. It's otherwise pretty bad, but it is better than The Big Brawl and it is a bizarre novelty, but make sure you see Police Story afterwards to see Chan do this type of thing right.

* * Out Of 4-(Fair)
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Police Story (1985)
10/10
A force of one
28 July 2020
Warning: Spoilers
Jackie Chan plays Kevin a Hong Kong cop who must protect the secretary (Brigette Lin) of a shady businessman who's willing to do anything to keep her from testifying and setting him up to take a fall. Jackie Chan's Police Story to me is one of the best genre films ever made, there are simply no words to explain the wow factor of the opening action sequence or the mall fight scene where Chan outdoes himself, and Lin proves to be no meter maid herself. The one flaw is that a lot of the girlfriend subplot with Maggie Cheung while not bad, gets in the way of the story. That said Police Story remains one of my favorite Jackie Chan movies and is a must see alongside Dragons Forever, Wheels In Meals and Drunken Master 1-2. Indeed said movies were my go to explanation as to why I didn't care for Rush Hour and Shanghai Noon, as from my point of view, Police Story (and it's sequels) we're the real thing.

**** Out Of 4-(Excellent)
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2/10
Shooting blanks
28 July 2020
Warning: Spoilers
This time our protagonists (Bolo Yeung, William Zabka and Michael Bernardo) from the first film are forced to fight by a police captain who's son was killed by a monster who finances to the death fights. Unintentional hilarity is what saves this horrid fight flick, this time the gore is gone, the villain is lame and the movie rarely strays from the worn out cliches in this predictable and braindead chop socky flick. It's amazing how much this movie wastes a legitimately good actor in Zabka (Watch Cobra Kai sometime) and wastes the screen presence of Bolo Yeung. Honestly this is pretty much a rehash of part 1 and extremely poorly made. Ziller directs his actors in the dialogue scenes so awkwardly that it often feels like amateur night improv. The fights are lame and the whole movie lacks a narrative to hold these lame fight scenes together, here too Ziller badly directs these fights. Indeed, the only real entertainment comes from how laughably stupid it all is.

* Out Of 4- (Bad)
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4/10
Blood from a turnip
28 July 2020
Warning: Spoilers
Rambo returns now long past his killing machine mode and civilian mode where his daughter by proxy is abducted by Mexican drug syndicate and are sex slavers in this tired and unnecessary sequel. Rambo V is disappointing for a simple reason that the script is just awful. Like Rambo V is a straight to video movie that somehow has been named Rambo, only to turn into Home Alone. Again most of this is really lazy and pedestrian, indeed a lot of it reminds me of Death Wish V in how Bronson depended more on booby traps than bodycount machine guns. In the 90s when I saw that (in theaters, believe it or not) there was a sort of watchable edge, and a great performance from Michael Parks as the villain, Rambo V lacks that villain, it also turns Rambo into an idiot who make absurd mistakes. Like just walking up to said drug lords, instead of you know being covert and setting up traps. Rambo does later do this to save said proxy daughter and killing a Mr. Big type, but it begs the question why he didn't do it earlier. The answer is simply the script stinks. Rambo V then isn't so bad, so much as it is routine. It's the type of movie that is so forgettable it evaporates from memory seconds after you leave the theater. To be fair, there is a poetic ending of Rambo sitting on a rocking chair, but aside from that and the Home Alone carnage of the climax, Rambo V is yet another uninspired nostalgic cash grab.

* * Out Of 4-(Fair)
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4/10
Backfire
24 July 2020
Warning: Spoilers
Sarah Connor (A way past her prime Linda Hamilton) joins forces with a Universal Soldier, er I mean Grace (Mackenzie Davis) who is a Super Soldier type that must protect a new savior of the future from a new Terminator, meanwhile Schwarzenegger returns as Carl, an old Terminator there to help. The gimmick this time is that the bad Terminator can split in two and, you know what, who cares? To be fair this one is technically well made and better than Genisys, the first action sequence with the semi is actually not bad and then it just adheres to the Terminator formula with absolutely no deviation from that tiresome formula. The action sequences rip off the later Fast and The Furious movies, the need to get Grace drugs and to cool her was done better in Universal Soldier and the movie often doesn't go anywhere organically, as the characters seem to have to go to point A so they can fight the Terminator, the Terminator just happens to be garbed as a border patrol agent when they're detained at the border and Sarah just happens to know blank who can the bomb to kill the Terminator, despite being off the grid for years. This movie often feels like it wasn't storyboarded right and because of it, it never builds any momentum after the first reel. Again their choice to make the original movies redundant will frustrate fans, but more importantly none of the characters here come close to the love angle of the first one or the family angle of 2, or even the downbeat urgency of 3. That said, Davis is actually not bad,though in battle she is no Van Damme and as usual it's good to see Hamilton and Schwarzenegger, but in all seriousness this series is long overdue for termination.

* * Out of 4-(Fair)
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2/10
Uninstalled reboot
24 July 2020
Warning: Spoilers
This time when Kyle Reese (Jai Courtney, who is utterly awful) goes back to 1984 Sarah Connor(Emilia Clarke, seriously miscast) is waiting with her own Terminator protector who quickly dispatches of a T1000 and the original Terminator, while John Connor who has been turned into a Terminator is hunting them and some other nonsense with a skynet app, ah who cares this movie is just horrible. As I look at my favorite 80s action guys that I liked (Van Damme,Seagal, Dolph, Norris and Dudikoff)and the catalog of movies they made, I don't think any of them made a movie this stupid. Like, this is SyFy original starting Don 'The Dragon' Wilson level of woeful. Indeed the action sequences are mediocre, Arnold is pretty good, but the movie just stinks. Like really stinks. Like the scent of week old Chinese take out. It should especially be mentioned how terrible Courtney is as Michael Biehn's replacement, withdrawing the whole paranoid underdog with a muscle headed jock who bickers with a would be sassy Clarke, who so charismatic as Dany on Game Of Thrones never seems to find the right note. All of this then, mixed with the convoluted time travel and godawful fanfiction amounts to Back To The Future Part II minus any of the invention, fun and charm. Terminator Genisys is a complete disaster and next to Batman and Robin, the nadir of Schwarzenegger's career.

* Out Of 4-(Bad)
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5/10
Salvage Yard
24 July 2020
Warning: Spoilers
John Connor (Christian Bale) joins forces with a Terminator (Worthington) to destroy skynet and lead the resistance. This is the last enjoyable movie of the series, as at least this movie fits into a moderate continuity with the other 3 and Bale is a great actor. Sure this feels like a Mad Max rip off (5 would feel like Back To The Future, 6 would rip off Universal Soldier, no seriously.) It also feels like the type of stuff Albert Pyun did with his post apocalypse flicks like Knights, Nemesis and Radioactive Dreams in that they rarely offer little narrative beyond a standard action flick. No doubt that the Terminator learning to be human is an afterthought to all the mayhem and little is explored on that plot thread. Mainly this sequel while mindless at least moves at a reasonably quick pace and some of the action is alright, but basically when asked what one thinks, It's that type of meh you reserve for a product that is nothing special.

* * Out Of 4-(Fair)
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