Reviews

I wasn't expecting Citizen Kane but Cocaine Bear exceeded my expectations exclusively in terms of stupidity. The humor is completely childish but the problem and at the same time the material is much more suited for adults. And the sequence were two kids make idiots of themselves by trying to swallow cocaine? There are some things that just aren't done!. One would have to be under the influence of something to find this feature even remotely funny. Please, don't let there be a Cocaine Bear 2 / Crack Bear 1 or whatever you want to call it. A pity that this should turn out to be one of Liotta's last movies.

Just how far can a movie go overboard without looking downright silly ?. It's not that the excellent KILL BILL series didn't go take a similar path but I found the ending of INGLORIOUS BASTARDS so violent, so silly and so out of touch with any sense of reality I really lost all interest in the story. Additionaly I would have thought "the Jew Hunter" would have been much, much smarter than to trust his life in the hands of the Basterds so when his fate comes I had no feelings one way or the other. Some of the dialog in this movie is as fun as that in the other Tarantino films but within a list of such, I have to place BASTERDS right above JACKIE BROWN but well below PULP FICTION, KILL BILL or even RESERVOIR DOGS.

A long, long time ago I swore I would never to see another Sandra Bullock"romantic comedy". After TWO WEEKS NOTICE, FORCES OF NATURE, MISS CONGENIALITY and so forth I thought enough was enough. Then THE PROPOSAL came along and, asides from a couple of good reviews, I also heard some pretty good word of mouth on it. Too bad, frankly speaking, word of mouth should have kept its mouth shut, THE PROPOSAL is just as bad as anything Bullock has ever done in the past except that now her looks are starting to go as well and by now she looks like she's Ryan Reynolds' aunt. Then there's lovable granny who takes Sandra to a strip joint for a never ending private dance and the love birds taking off their clothes (unaware of each other's presence), walking in reverse and ending up accidentally embracing each other naked in plain daylight (I guess the true odds of that were a bit remote). THE PROPOSAL is for undiscriminating romantic comedy lovers only, others beware !

There's plenty to love about LOVE ACTUALLY. It's just that I found a couple of the stories downright perverse. It may be convenient for the film never to show us where Keira Knightley's new romance will lead but nothing changes the fact that is not a love story but one of betrayal in which not much good will come out at the end; at least the Alan Rickman / Emma Thompson part is honest about its subject and what the consequences to his actions will eventually be for both of them. Further, what can you say about a story in which a girl is unfaithful to his boyfriend with his own brother ? The funny thing is that the filmmakers want to make us believe these are just different facets of love and for some reason, they time them at Christmas time, as if they would actually have anything to do with the real meaning of Christmas. Still, any movie in which Hugh Grant makes a convincing British Prime Minister can't be all bad. The truer love story in LOVE ACTUALLY ?: Laura Linney giving up on her dream for the sake of her brother, that part might just be enough to justify the title.

Not too bad a bad movie (and not too inaccurate, I suspect) but at the end, a wasted opportunity. Brolin's performance is OK and he does most of Bush's mannerisms fairly well but I failed the understand the need for the cartoonish close-ups Stone gives him throughout the movie or for some scenes like the one showing him having a lenghty conversation with Laura when he's in the toilet (what was the point there ?). Personally I would have been a lot more interested to see what happened in W's own election night rather than in the one his father lost to Clinton but the way Stone handles the meetings between W and his staff in which crucial decisions were discussed in almost trivial and casual ways and which later brougth such dire consequences throughout the world, are more than enough reason to recommend this movie. Most people in the audience will come away from W with the certainty that Jeb would have been a much better president but with the repercusions to the Bush name after these 8 years, it is fair to say it is highly improbable we'll ever get to find out. The biggest WMD shown inthis movie ?: a pretzel. Now THAT was ironic.

This is a rather slow movie full of frustrating moments with very, very few pay-offs for the audience, all of this is not to say that it is terrible film or anything close to that but had any other less likable actors taken Hoffman/Thompson's roles & had the great London settings not existed, I believe this would have undeniably been a bomb, still you end up caring so much for them and wishing things turn out OK that when a semi-happy ending arrives during the wedding party and at the moment Thompson's character blurts out her feelings, you'll leave the movie happy, or semi-happy at least. Not the greatest movie to spend $10 on a theater for but should make a pretty good rental.

Ironic that the ultimate chick-flick has been populated by some of the most stupid women in the history of motion pictures; Jennifer Connelly learns at a Home Depot that her husband is cheating on her but the thing that really upsets her is that he's smoking again (?!?!?!?). Jennifer Aniston's father has a heart attack in her sister's wedding, she can't stand the rest of her family and somehow this leads her to patch things up with her boyfriend(?!?!?!?). Scarlett Johannsen is infuriated with her boyfriend for cheating on her with his wife (?!?!?!?). And then there's Drew Barrymore's role, so insignificant, so pointless, the producer's could had easily skipped and saved whatever her salary except that by the end of the movie, we learn she was one of the producers (suprise). The only positive thing about this film: when seeing it, try to sit at a far corner so that you can give it the appropriate due it deserves with whomever you wish to see it.

This may be my first time coming out of a movie and not knowing whether I loved or hated a film. On one hand HOT FUZZ gave me a headache with it's loud action and constant inclusion of loud noises, caused by close-ups of several artifacts, constantly shown to irritate the very uptight lead. On the other, not too often do I laugh out loud at a movie several times, including at scenes where the joke is telegraphed well in advance (fascist............. hag!). In the modern Hollywood movie machine, the hardest thing to find is a comedy with actual laughs and HOT FUZZ is certainly that, just make sure to bring along a couple of aspirin if deciding to watch it.

Here's a movie that promises in every way to be a family experience but unfortunately has no idea what it really wants to be. I'm still wondering exactly which part of Marley's life should have endeared us to him as he spends 100% of the time destroying something. That his owners decided to ever let him inside the house is astounding. That they ever found a reason not to give him away must have been explained in the movie's deleted scenes. I guess if they had actually bought a good dog they would have formally adopted him (at least). I still can't believe the makers of MARLEY & ME thought it was a good idea to show us Jennifer Aniston's ultrasound results in progress .One of this days they should also explain to us what was the point of showing Marley being being put to sleep in wide detail, I thought I was watching DEAD MAN WALKING (or in this case, DEAD DOG WALKING). I guess the best way to describe this movie is as a biography of Marley's owner and frankly a bio about the writer of a newspaper column about dogs is hardly earth-shattering. I found funny how Owen Wilson was always shown depressed, even when he got the dream job, wife, kids, house with the pool & million dollar home in Pennsylvania. This is really not a movie for kids, unless you want to spend plenty of time afterwards explaining the sadder aspects of life.

Oscar nominations or not, this is the most boring movie I've seen since MEET JOE BLACK. It's sad to see so much talent and effort gone to waste but what exactly is appealing about this story ? Why on God's name would a little girl and a seemingly old man find themselves bonded to each other ? Why don't either Guiness or Ripley stop by when all that is here is the ultimate freak story ?. The only fun I had throughout this movie was making a list of the similarities with Forrest Gump which run in the several dozens. The Katrina back-story could have been of interest but at the end, all they used it for is as an excuse to flood a room ! This movie has easily the best aging effects in history but you end up noticing you spend most of the time evaluating them instead of following the story which is the basic reason this movie fails.

In CDII Mike Dundee is still as likable and fun as in the last one but this movie gives the term "slow" a bad name. Aborigines now how magical powers and they seem to have rubbed them off on Crocodile Dundee who now can communicate with them via the wind with (as well as with the animals). He even turns out to be a millionaire real state owner ! Hispanic and Japanese characters talk in English between themselves ! Dundee's girlfriend still can't act !! The material isn't fresh anymore !!! Still, a lot of the jokes are still funny (specially when the characters get back to Australia) and this movie had enough to make me want to go see the dreaded CDIII many years later, good enough reason for me not being able to forgive it !

Hard to point out exactly what's wrong with these movie but after 10 minutes I found it obvious I was never going to like it. Perhaps it was seeing Kidman practically reprising her FAR AND AWAY role of the hard headed but beautiful, fish out of water aristocrat. Perhaps it was the constant sight of Jackman preforming shirt-less horse related activities in slow motion. Perhaps it was seeing them both hot-and heavy all overeach other while surrounded by the destruction of the Japanes bombing. Perhaps it was the imbecile bad guy who's always looking for new inspiration to do mean things but is unlucky enough to learn the kid is his son only after a spear goes through him ! Certainly not the worst of movies but the best thing I can say about it is that I was fortunate enough to see it at a practically empty theater which allowed me to comment on every stupidity out loud with my wife which made this a pretty good time at the movies.

After many failed tries of watching SPARTACUS, I notice it is being shown on TCM on Christmas day and sit through the 3+ hours. I realize a small screen / pan and scan version is not the way to watch this movie but I find it rather disappointing anyway, specially when comparing it to later films which it obviously influenced but also in which special effects were leaps ahead (Braveheart, Gladiator) and so was common sense. Here's why: 1) Plenty of action sequences take place off-camera, there is only one really big, epic battle. What we do get are endless talking scenes with very little dialogue spread over long stretches, in other words, the epic lenght is hardly justified. 2) Absolutely ridiculous scene in which Douglas addresses hundreds of thousands of people without the benefit of a single microphone. I guess off-camera he said something in the likes of "pass it on". 3) Also ridiculous scenes with thousands of death people, all with healthy looking faces, the same applies to SPARTACUS when he is being crucified, hardly showing any pain. 4) How can we admire SPARTACUS fighting skills when he doesn't even win any of the gladiator fights ? His ability in the training machine hardly counts. 5) I wish I could say I was moved by the leading lady's looks or presence but this was hardly the case. There are also scenes in which she is supposed to be carrying a well covered SPARTACUS' baby which looks so stiff it is more than obvious they filmed it with a doll. My recommendation, watch GLADIATOR or BRAVEHEART instead !

Hard to understand how with all the talent involved this movie turned out so very so-so. I find it hard to point out exactly why I didn't like it that much. Crowe seems wasted in such a small, repetitive role (a first for him). DiCaprio is at it again cursing throughout the whole movie with another of his "I'm way past the Titanic-pretty-boy role". The exact moment you see an attractive girl turn up in the movie you realize he is going to fall in love with her and she is going to be threatened in some way by the bad guys. And then all the middle eastern names sound so very all the same to me, half the time I didn't know who or what they were talking about. Spending so much time in such rough unattractive places made me constantly wish they would show commercials in theaters half-way through movies and I find it a miracle I didn't fall sleep watching BODY OF LIES. All of this is not to say this is a terrible movie. The satellite spying scenes are pretty good and you'll be wondering yet again how exactly it is they can't find the 9/11 terrorists with all this technology (you'd think they'd have to get out of the cave once in a while). Anyway, this ought to make a better DVD rental than theater going experience.

This is one of those movies you're not sure what to think of until some time passes from your first viewing. I believe the main reason that this series has been going for so long is that, when the producers have made a mistake on one of their films, they will show an open mind, come back the next time around and fix it. EX.: the sillier space sagas YOU ONLY LIVE TWICE and MOONRAKER were followed respectively by ON HER MAJESTY'S SECRET SERVICE and FOR YOUR EYES ONLY, films in which Bond was brought back to earth; the outlandish DIE ANOTHER DIE was followed by the solid CASINO ROYALE and so forth. With this in mind, my suggestions for fixing the goofs on QUANTUM OF SOLACE are as follows: 1) Hire a real, renowned great singer, not one teens will dig (as far as I know, Shirley Bassey is still alive and these kids can't hold a candle to her). 2) Never again use the Bourne editing process, nobody likes it, period. You can't appreciate a great stunt when it cuts too fast to a next one which you don't end up appreciating either. QOS' editing all but itself sank it. 3) The gun barrel scene goes at the beginning, never again at the end. What the heck was the point in doing so ? 4) Go to any exotic countries you may like but use their most beautiful locales, not their ugliest. It's nice to find locations with "flavor", not so good when they don't "taste" so good. 5) If you want the audience to hate the villain, don't just imply he killed a beloved characters as in the case of Mathis and Agent Fields. Show it on screen so we can detest him properly and thus enjoy his doom. 6) When Bond kills the main villain show it. Don't just have him discuss it with his boss. 7) As bad as things might be for Bond on the movie. Give him a few scenes in which he might actually be happy. One of his main characteristics is his enjoyment of the good things in life (drink, food, girls and so on). 8) A follow up to 7: Bond must never say goodbye to the movie's main woman character in a car, in the dessert shaking hands or whatever. A body of water and heavy kissing have always been the norm (and worked out great as far as I can remember). 9) Take under consideration: hotels in the dessert are not flammable per se. 10) Bring back Moneypenny and Q. Their scenes always brought a smile to my face. Samantha Bond is more than adequate as the first but good luck finding someone to replace the beloved Desmond Llewlyn (but you have to do it anyway !). 11) Make sure the villain's evil plot is more evil and dangerous to world peace than simply leaving about a dozen people with funny looking hats, waterless, 12) Also remember, there are great film-makers, auteurs and directors who know how to make great Bond movies. Which have been the best of the recent ones ? : GOLDENYE and CASINO ROYALE. What do both of them have in common ?. Need I go on ? I'm sure you can afford the guy. By the way, QOS is OK. Had a sane editor cut it it would be above average for Bond, as it was it turned out below the median line. I guess you can say it is not as good as the sum of its parts and as such a wasted opportunity.

If you enjoy 2 hours of Kevin Costner acting like a slob and 2 minutes (at the very end) of his heroic customary speeches in which his voice cracks down while defending his less fortunate fellow men, well, this is the movie for you. Personally I found this movie similar to ARTHUR in which the prospect of watching the part of a stupid drunk for a long time gets more and more annoying. I also had a hard time buying his wholesome daughter and after watching her Mom and Dad it becomes impossible to understand how she could turn out that wonderful. The movie itself is all one clever idea with very mediocre dialogue, flat jokes and lacking any surprises.

If you are as big a Bond fan as I am you might have found yourself defending this picture constantly but whatever hope on it you might have had, time doesn't lie and watching this movie 6 years after its release, I can't help but cringe through very long portions of it. The opening scene isn't too bad though hardly memorable (too many gratuitous explosions) but the only merit of the Madonna song is that it has reduced every discussion present and future about what the very worst Bond song is (no contest). Much was made about Halle Berry's role in this film but personally I found her a lot worse than the much maligned Denise Richards (Does anybody really believe her as a cool efficient killer ?, Does Bond really need his girls to be "his equal" in every way ?), just compare her to Eva Green in Casino Royale and you will be seeing everything that can be wrong and everything that can be right about a Bond babe. DIE ANOTHER DAY also has the distinction of having some of the worst CGI effects and in film history, its director is quoted in the DVD extras how CGI will someday replace stunts in the Bond movies, thank God this was his first and last collaboration. There are so many more things one can complain here (the stupid editing, the mediocre Rosamund Pike role, the villain's Robocop suit, etc.) but a lack of effort (or money) certainly isn't one of them, I only have a couple of suggestion to the producers, a) When featuring some of the most amazing ocean waves at the beginning of your movie, don't include a CGI man made / mega-cheesy one later on it, and b)The next time you feature one of the most beautiful cars ever made in your movie, don't make it invisible !