User Reviews

A Nymphoid Barbarian In Dinosaur Hell. A really interesting title that seems to promise a fun movie. In reality, the title gives you no hints about the actual movie. The word Nymphoid was used just to give it strong sexual overtones, which were completely, absent in the movie. The word Nymphoid, which actually isn't even a real word, has absolutely nothing to do with the movie. Now, about those dinosaurs. There are no dinosaurs, plenty of mutant monsters but no dinosaurs. So, a more realistic title may be, A Barbarian in Mutant Hell. It's a pretty bad movie with plenty of poor acting. The plot is poor but interesting enough to keep you watching and so simple it is very easy to follow. The one thing I did enjoy about the movie were the special effects, and mutant monsters. Even though most they were crude, they were plentiful and interesting. It's a bad film but certainly not the worst I've seen. Do not go out of your way to see it. If you don't see it, you're not missing anything.

If you want to experience a fantasy world of mythical beasts and far-off lands there are several choices. Firstly you can dream it. Secondly you can read it. or thirdly you can see a movie about it, where all the imagination work is done for you with visual effects and camera work. So why on earth are there movies made which still require us to use imagination to make the images seem real, or even watchable??

I have no problem with the "B" or even "C" movie genre. Some old and very respectable movies are made using plasticine model monsters, and superimposed close-ups of real insects... not a crime, nor a problem. But in this film, even those tried and tested, basic techniques are done badly. Although, hang on, was that a cameo by the "Asteroid-millenium falcon eating-monster" from "The Empire Strikes Back"?? No, surely not!

I sometimes wonder how and why films like this ever get made. I mean, someone has to have an idea at some point, and the "story" grows from there, right? I couldn't even piece a story together out of this, the final product. So how on earth did anyone first answer the question "So, what's this film going to be about?" Initially titled "The Dark Castle" I believe... then had a name change to entice an entirely different audience. The added female voice-over at the start belies this attempt at trickery... in fact, I'm not sure that one couldn't take this film and it's packaging to the advertising standards commission, and hold the company liable for every copy sold under these false pretences.

I rated this film "2", and justify the rating thus... one point for creative use of the poem "Jabberwocky". And one point for all the laughs I got from everything in this film! And I wasn't laughing at the funny bits I assure you! So rather than try to explain what this film is... how about a little about what it isn't. It's not a parody or a spoof, this limp lettuce of a production is somebody's actual attempt to make a movie. It's not a horror... believe me, "comedy of effort" would be a better genre! And it most certainly isn't any kind of soft-core porn either... don't let that name-change fool you! All in all, shockingly bad and pointless stuff. Not for horror, fantasy, sci-fi, B-movie, c-movie, or even any-movie fans at all.

Ever.

Set in a post-apocalyptic world of mutants and monsters, A Nymphoid Barbarian in Dinosaur Hell stars Linda Corwin as a sexy barbarian named Lea (nice legs, shame about the rack!), who gets into a spot of bother when she is taken prisoner by a big ugly brute and his reptilian pals.

I'm not a big fan of Troma's output: I love unintentionally cheesy horror and silly sci-fi, but I just don't get the appeal of Lloyd Kaufman's productions, the majority of which I find to be deliberately amateurish (now where's the fun in that?) and not at all funny.

A Nymphoid Barbarian in Dinosaur Hell, on the other hand, has me rather confused about its makers intentions: sometimes it follows the standard Troma route, offering extremely dumb characters, bad special effects, and gratuitous sex and violence; occasionally, however, it seemed to me that director Brett Piper wanted his film to be more than just tacky trash, throwing in snippets of poetry (Lewis Carroll's Jabberwocky), an intriguing sci-fi slant (there is the suggestion that the planet may not be Earth, and that the humans are the descendants of space travellers), and more poignant moments (such as the agonising cry from the scarred warrior who yearns for company).

Whatever the director's intentions were, however, the film still sucks!

The action meanders aimlessly for 82 minutes, delivering countless badly choreographed fights, shonky stop-motion monsters, and dreadful acting, and anyone looking for a bit of sex to spice up the mind-numbingly dull action will be sorely disappointed. The result is a tedious film that is nowhere near as much fun as its title suggests.

Troma movies, you either love 'em or hate 'em but this is a new low in cinema & has got to be one of the most awful films ever made. A total lack of plot, pace, character, direction, anything. You have really got to admire how individuals with no discernable cinematic talents can somehow con people into letting them make a film. It doesn't even live up to its title, no nymphoid barbarians & no dinosaurs (but I did feel like I was in some kind of hell!).

This could have been a great B-movie in the tradition of the AIP films but even those movies had charm & talent whereas this is devoid of any merit. However, I feel that everyone should watch this. It must be inflicted on people as no mere review can fully express the sheer awfulness of this so-called movie!

But then again should they take anymore of our money! Ignore this & as an alternative maybe try Roger Cormans Teenage Caveman.

STAY AWAY FROM THIS FILM!!! I bought this film for a very very very cheap price in the hope that it would be funny. It is not. It is not remotely funny or even remotely watchable. It is actually torture to sit through. There is no redeeming feature about the film whatsoever. The trailer is the only good thing on the DVD but even that's in the wrong place. It plays before the films as opposed to when you select 'trailer' on the menu. There is next to no dialogue in this film, no sex and rarely any decent violence. The special effects are dismal but sometimes slightly amusing and at the same time confusing. Like is the man with the rubber face actually deformed or is it a mask? The ending is the final insult. Do not buy or watch or rent this film. Ever! Period.

Get Nightmare at Noon instead. Or Omega Cop. Or Eastenders......

This is, without a doubt, the worst movie I have ever seen in my entire life. First of all, the title is all wrong. The main character is not a nymphoid because, well, she's just not. She is not really a barbarian. She is actually pretty much a wimp. The dinosaurs aren't actually dinosaurs. They're mutated monsters. And the place where it was shot was not any sort of hell; it was actually quite nice. The acting was terrible. There weren't even many speaking parts. The plot was non-existent. I hate this movie with a passion.

I hired his movie in pure interest of what a movie would look like on a budget of 10 cents. And this movie looks like it got a budget of 5 cents. The directing, editing and especially the acting are SHOCKING!! Not to mention that stupid music score that drains the talking and above all is sooo repetitive!!

minus**** out of ****

I'm sorry, but this film has nothing going for it at all. Bad costumes, bad acting, bad sets and a stupid plot make it incredibly crap. Having said that, if unrealistic dinosaur claymation is your thing, then you'll probably like it. Actually, you probably won't.

OK.....lets see here. I tried to fall asleep on purpose on this movie, one of my friends rage slept through it, and everyone else was upset to no end. My friends and I have bad movie night to crown what is the worst bad movie, this movie made number three. The title is a lie...there are no dinosaurs, the main character is not a nymphoid (we had to look it up to get an idea of what that is) and she is hardly a barbarian. There isn't any more than thirty lines of dialog though the whole thing, the fight scenes are just awful, and did I mention nothing happens! The girl gets kidnapped because I'm guessing she is the only person in this whole world with breast and the guy she is with....I don't even know who he is to her. When you see it on netflix, just don't waste your time. Watch something fun or if you want an entertaining bad movie, watch Black Belt Jones.

My first brief acquaintance with "Nymphoid Barbarian in Dinosaur Hell" came when I watched the trailer. I watched the trailer and promptly put the movie back on the DVD shelf where it remained untouched for nearly twenty-one months. For some reason I still haven't figured out but already deeply regret, I decided to watch it after all even though I'd knew it would have the same painful effect as poking my own eyes out with a rusty spoon and pour sour vinegar in the badly infected eye-sockets. Yes, I am aware of the fact that I'm ranting on and on, but that's partly also because there's very little to say about the film itself. Apart, of course, from that it's a totally retarded and irredeemably awful piece of Troma crap with amateurish acting performances (praise the Lord most of the characters don't talk a lot), horrible dialogs and effects/monstrous creations that appear to be designed by kindergarten toddlers. Arguably, the best element about the entirely pitiable project is the enticing title, and then that is also for about 99% inaccurate. The lead girl is hardly a nymphomaniac, nor is she very barbaric and theoretically speaking there aren't even any dinosaurs. If I'm not mistaken, dinosaurs are prehistoric creatures and "Nymphoid bla bla bla…" is a post-apocalyptic movie. The monsters aren't dinosaurs but ordinary mutated pets (!), like dogs and cats. All the fans and Troma junkies who're claiming this movie ought to be interpreted as a nifty and ingenious comedy are full of lame excuses. No matter how underdeveloped my sense of humor may be, I know for a fact this wasn't comical.

This film is the biz! The "Plot" is at best flimsy, but if we are honest, there is no plot. The acting is appallingly poor to the point of being offensive and the special effects are less than special.

This film is a must! It is utterly crap and absolute genius. It is the kind of movie that ranks alongside eternal classics like Plan 9 and Tarantula. There is a fight between two reptile Dinosaur type beasties that is straight out of the Chewits ad of the 80's with the monster eating the leaning tower of Piza, the Taj Mahal and the Empire State Building. It is so 5h1t that you simply must see it.

Go forth and scour the bargain bins of the local petrol station. Visit Charity shops. Trawl the internet. Find this movie.

It is a piece of cinematic gold!

Probably not the worst film ever, but pretty close. My satalite provided the description 'Various nuclear mutants want to be with the last woman alive in a land before time'. I was expecting a terrible film, hoping at best for a few comical moments, intentional or otherwise, but this "film" has absolutely no redeeming qualities. It didn't even deliver on the promise of nudity or sexual content.

I'm not sure if I can articulate how terrible this movie was. For starters I'm pretty sure the whole thing was filmed at one clearing in the woods. Because the 'nuclear mutants' can't speak (or presumably act) the audience is subjected to several long segments devoid of any conversation, filled only with the poorly synthesised music (which I swear at one point becomes 'pop-goes-the-weasel').

I should mention that I missed 15-20 min about half-way through the movie when I went to wash the dishes that had been piling up in my sink for about a week. It was actually a much welcome break from 'Dinosaur Hell'. Maybe next time my roommates refuse to do the dishes I'll make them watch a few minutes of this movie.

Now if you'll excuse me I have to go re-review a few films, like 'Good Burger' and 'Celtic Pride'. If this movie is a 1 on 10 then those films must deserve 9s or 10s (and prolly Oscar's).

I bought this due to the cheesy title (a Lloyd Kaufman creation, I imagine) but turns out the film makers tried to make something serious (fair enough) but all I wanted was to see claymation creatures (or dinosaurs, whatever) fighting people. What I got was a wannabe-Dune, with a very boring plot. I would say avoid this to Troma fans, Film fans and fantasy geeks.

AM

I love me some Troma, but this was just plain bad. I could barely get through it. Missing the gore and camp of most Troma movies as well, which is a large part of the fun of Trpmaville. Great title though!

I only bought this movie because it only cost like three dollars from a store that was getting rid of all it's VHS movies. It cost three dollars and I wanted my money back. If it was free I would have wanted my money back. That movie took a couple of hours or so out of my life that I want back. I took it to a place that sells used videos, and the guy behind the counter had heard of it as the worst movie ever made. From now on I don't think that I can ever give another movie a vote of 1 because I think it will give this colossal piece of crap too much credit.

OK. What would happen, if Roger Corman, who directed produced and wrote all those nickel dime horror movies, like "The Terror" which was made with left over film and three days left in Boris Karloff's contract for another movie, the movie in which Jack Nicholson plays opposite his wife of the time and ad libbed many of his scenes and lines--WHAT IF--Roger Corman "married" Saturday Night Live.

You get shlocky trash, you get unknown actors, you get dumb cartoon characterizations shot on the cheap for nickels and dimes--canned and sometimes original linear productions, first act second act third act straight action with a hint of sex ( and little more than a hint ).

You'd get the eighties substitute for the chapter serial of the forties, an hour and a half of utter dreck with nothing more than Ed Wood appeal.

But.

That's the idea. What's interesting is how they put this crap together, and you get to watch.

I like stuff like this. $15K worth of technology you could shoot a better movie today.

Which is the point.

So.

Why don't you? And just sit box with a huge box of jujubees you got at RiteAid, or maybe chips unending with hot sauce you'd pay five bucks for, and kick back with an idiot movie you don't need to have a Master's in English lit to comprehend and hoot the villain.

Get it?

The trailer and opening voice-over (which I suspect was tacked-on by Troma after the film's completion) of "A Nymphoid Barbarian in Dinosaur Hell" try to sell this film as a campy comedy, but it's actually a rather serious futuristic / prehistoric adventure. The story and dialogue are minimal; the film is slow and often boring, but the stop-motion animation effects for the various monsters, although dated, still have a nostalgic charm (I'd take them over the clumsy CGI of contemporary B-movies any day of the week), and Linda Corwin is very sexy as the not-so-nymphoid barbarian - she has the lean, muscular physique of a track athlete (perhaps she was one), and she can fight too: in the movie's best scene, she chokes a mutant to death. Shortly after that, there is a fight between a deformed "good guy" and the main villain which is surprisingly long and exhausting. My total grade for this film is 4 stars + 2 extra stars for Linda Corwin = 6 out of 10.

I read so many terrible reviews of Brett Piper's Nymphoid Barbarian in Dinosaur Hell. That i was convinced that this movie would be total crap.

On the contrary it is quite a good fantasy film. It wasn't always funny, but the intro Troma added was great, and the claymation creatures were really fun. I'd recommend this to both Troma fans, and films of mid eighties fantasy films like Gor.

A great little pointless flick with no effectively discernible dialog. At least not any recognized or recognizable language. Linda Corwin is a real cuty pie and basically turns the film into a Corwin-fest, emoting constantly. Is it great film? Ha ha ha ha ha. But great film requires a lot more energy to watch than this. This is just fun. I doubt that you will be disappointed and cannot understand why the Tromas didn't use this gal again as she brightens up the set, wherever the set happens to be.

This is typical of Troma films which seem to just unfold in an otherwise pointless manner. The reason for the film is the film itself. There are what passes for special effects and lots of s-c-a-r-y makeup which has the added benefit of not looking very real; clearly poor stop action and masks, all of which just adds to the cache of this low budget charmer. I heartily recommend this to any one who has nothing better to do than watch TV for an hour or two. You really barely have to pay attention. A DVD would be the perfect way to watch it. I taped it seven years ago off a TV channel (USA Up All Night) and am strongly considering the purchase of a DVD.

Everyone seems to be missing the point of the movie. It is a work of comic genius BECAUSE it is terrible. On the DVD the opening trailer is hilarious. Admittedly it doesn't reflect the movie, but I don't care, because I still love this movie, no matter what anyone says. I bought it for a £1. It was on a double disc with "Graduation Day", another film I actually quite like. They both have interesting story lines, shockingly poor production values, terrible acting, cheesy lines, but are still enjoyable movies.

She is not a nympho, there are more mutants than dinosaurs, and the man has a mullet, but what can you do? That was the way that movies were made back then. I don't know much about Troma Team movies, but I know I love them.

For Troma, this movie is tame. There really isn't any sex in the movie, the main star doesn't have breasts the size of casaba melons (in fact, they used stunt breasts in the scene towards the end because she didn't want to advertise her "shortcomings"), and the violence is minimal at best. The title of the movie is false advertising, at worst -- the lead character isn't much of a barbarian, she isn't much of a nymphoid, and the "Dinosaurs" aren't really so much dinosaurs as much as they are warped creatures. If you have to rent this movie for a bad movie night, rent it on DVD just so you can hear the director slamming his own movie.

I thought that it was a really good film, and had strange creatures, but what did any normal monster movie person think when they first saw the title...? Actually, this is more of a G version of what the Troma studio usually produces, so people have to know Troma before the judge harshly the Troma film Nymphoid Barbarian. I thought that it kept my attention since it did have many strange creatures. This is not a Blockbuster movie, but I thought it was a good movie. It was not Heavy on Plot but it had some plot to deal with. I recommend this Troma film to the more less Gore oriented monster lovers. it is not your gross Dead-Alive type movie. More Greek Mythological type movie in more of a B range....