Bad expectations, movie even worse.
I went to see this movie because a friend of mine really wanted to go there and I thought: why not, I didn't hate transformers 2 (although it wasn't really good), and I had seen the trailer with the Eiffel Tower scene which looks pretty amazing. The rest of the film was pretty amazing too. But not amazing in a good way. I just couldn't believe how bad it was. I am actually still amazed as hell. The story is so crappy that I think I could write a thousand stories which are better. Here is a series of 'highlights'. It all starts in the Middle Ages, where some weapon maker is being punished for selling weapons to both sides. This has almost nothing to do with the film except that the weapon maker is an ancestor of a really bad guy in the movie. Then there is a transport of very high tech rockets which are almost stolen by some guys with really high tech weapons, but some other guys with high tech weapons come to the rescue. (indeed, every weapon in the movie is high tech, like year 3009 high tech). The rescue guys appear to be a special forces team called G.I. Joe. The surviving guys from the transport really like to join the team, but they need to be trained first. At the end of the first day of training they are almost scoring highest in the history of the team, so they are done. Right. Then the bad guys come in and steal the rockets. This time they succeed so the G.I. Joes need to get them back. This results in some really good action scenes including the Eiffel Tower coming down. It all looks really realistic. But after this it's only down the hill. The bad guys seem to have built a base under the polar ice, the size of a little city. Somehow no one ever noticed something happening there. Or everyone knew but just didn't inform G.I. Joe. By the way: it actually wasn't really cold out there somehow, because a lot of people didn't wear special clothes while walking around on the ice and it didn't seem to bother them at all. Or the actors just didn't know how to act like it was cold. That is possible because none of the actors was really looking like he/she cared a lot. Marlon Wayans was probably the least bad while he wasn't even funny. I think that says enough. The polar base is destroyed after a fight won by the good guys and because of the explosions the polar ice sinks together with the base. Yes, dear readers, the ice sinks. So alls well that ends well. oh, first one of the good guys needs to take down some rockets the bad guys managed to shoot just before the base was destroyed. Somehow the rockets can only be taken out by a supersonic plane that can only be controlled by speaking Celtic, which one of members of G.I.Joe happens to speak. So actually it's not really a problem, I think. Maybe it is a problem, I don't know, but it just doesn't make sense. Nothing in the whole script makes any sense. I still don't believe it. I'm sorry guys, it's overwhelming me. I need to stop writing or I'll start crying or worse. Just remember: don't watch the movie!
I went to see this movie because a friend of mine really wanted to go there and I thought: why not, I didn't hate transformers 2 (although it wasn't really good), and I had seen the trailer with the Eiffel Tower scene which looks pretty amazing. The rest of the film was pretty amazing too. But not amazing in a good way. I just couldn't believe how bad it was. I am actually still amazed as hell. The story is so crappy that I think I could write a thousand stories which are better. Here is a series of 'highlights'. It all starts in the Middle Ages, where some weapon maker is being punished for selling weapons to both sides. This has almost nothing to do with the film except that the weapon maker is an ancestor of a really bad guy in the movie. Then there is a transport of very high tech rockets which are almost stolen by some guys with really high tech weapons, but some other guys with high tech weapons come to the rescue. (indeed, every weapon in the movie is high tech, like year 3009 high tech). The rescue guys appear to be a special forces team called G.I. Joe. The surviving guys from the transport really like to join the team, but they need to be trained first. At the end of the first day of training they are almost scoring highest in the history of the team, so they are done. Right. Then the bad guys come in and steal the rockets. This time they succeed so the G.I. Joes need to get them back. This results in some really good action scenes including the Eiffel Tower coming down. It all looks really realistic. But after this it's only down the hill. The bad guys seem to have built a base under the polar ice, the size of a little city. Somehow no one ever noticed something happening there. Or everyone knew but just didn't inform G.I. Joe. By the way: it actually wasn't really cold out there somehow, because a lot of people didn't wear special clothes while walking around on the ice and it didn't seem to bother them at all. Or the actors just didn't know how to act like it was cold. That is possible because none of the actors was really looking like he/she cared a lot. Marlon Wayans was probably the least bad while he wasn't even funny. I think that says enough. The polar base is destroyed after a fight won by the good guys and because of the explosions the polar ice sinks together with the base. Yes, dear readers, the ice sinks. So alls well that ends well. oh, first one of the good guys needs to take down some rockets the bad guys managed to shoot just before the base was destroyed. Somehow the rockets can only be taken out by a supersonic plane that can only be controlled by speaking Celtic, which one of members of G.I.Joe happens to speak. So actually it's not really a problem, I think. Maybe it is a problem, I don't know, but it just doesn't make sense. Nothing in the whole script makes any sense. I still don't believe it. I'm sorry guys, it's overwhelming me. I need to stop writing or I'll start crying or worse. Just remember: don't watch the movie!