6/10
Eyes Behind the balls
18 July 2014
John Phillip Law (Night train to terror, Death Rides a horse) is a strange man. When we first see him he's on a train apparently murdering and raping some girl, and now he's moved into a house owned by Fernando Rey (High Crime, Price of Power). What Law doesn't know is that the wheelchair bound Rey has rigged his house with some weird sci-fi periscope gadget, allowing him to spy on Law in order to get ideas for his books or something to do with psychology. Far fetched? You betcha. An Italian film? Oooooh, yeah.

Rey's also got a hot wife and a butler who really likes Rey's hot wife, to the point where he's got a life size photo of her in his cupboard which he either punches in the crotch or rubs his face on, and collects her pubes after she has a bath to either smell or pretend he's got a moustache. She hates him though, so he turns his attention to some local girl and puts on a pretend rape show for Rey's wife's benefit. Rey's wife by this point has got the hots for Law after watching him exercising naked (and it's scrotum bouncingly funny).

Meanwhile, just in case anyone doesn't think this film is sleazy enough, Law picks up some joint smoking black dude at a disco (where some chick dances in the buff) and gets botted in the bott by the botter while screaming at the top his voice while Rey and his wife watch on. I actually burst out laughing at that which I'm not sure was the director's intention. It was just the screaming and the look on Law's face.

Rey's wife is all "You didn't tell me he liked his tea towel holder being stabbed by a chocolate javelin" but Rey convinces her to put the moves on Law. For some reason. So she toddles over to Law's house with a lease to sign and the next thing you they're walking around, going out for food and walking around some more while Law spouts philosophical crap about life. Usually buying a couple of bicardi breezers works for me, but before you know it Rey's wife back at Law's house, listening to Tangerine Dream records and getting all naked, while Fernando Rey watches on, having a flashback I won't reveal here. Rey's wife is shouting "Not there! No!" at this point which makes me think that Law was trying on a bit of back door action. Who knows with this film.

While the overall tone of this film is sleazy as hell (even more so with the twists that come later in the film), it's not overall graphic, thankfully, unless you want to see John Phillip Law's knackers, which I'm certain you do. Other than that it's all about the twists, and how everyone in this film is fecked up. It's a not bad thriller but from this genre you'd expect a bit more. Worth a watch though.
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