Review of Effects

Effects (1979)
2/10
This should have stayed lost
28 October 2005
Being a fan of Tom Savini, I was excited to see this old film of his that he did the effects for. Now, think of this: Tom Savini, Joe Pilato (Rhodes from Day of the Dead) John Harrison (the composer of Romero films like Creepshow and Day of the Dead) in a movie about a making of a snuff film! Sounds like good ol' 70's exploitation horror, right? As Arnold said in Terminator "Wrong!" This boring suspense drama is about...well, not too sure since there was no plot. But something about a crazy director who secretly video tapes his cast and crew have sex, snort cocaine, talk about George Taki's sex life, and then tries to kill his cinematographer for no reason. Tom Savini is funny as a scumbag stunt man who loves his women (basically Tom just played himself). But there is no blood or gore, there is nothing scary about the film, and the editing is really poor. I would rather see midgets shoot their little people pee all over a bag of Dorito's for 90 min. Now that would be an effect! I would rather see mentally challenged people drool all over bare breasts for 90 min. That would be an effect! Watching Joe Pilato mope around and fall in love with a female gaffer on some cheap movie is not an effect! Effect rhymes with erect.
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