Reviews

Vera is a dumpy, short, middle aged detective who possesses a whinny, dodgy Geordie accent and calls everyone 'pet' or 'love.' Her colleagues seem to have been cast on the basis of diversity, and not for their acting abilities. She constantly seems to pick on poor old Kenny, who is presented as a monosyllabic ageing detective, who's not very bright. The ending of each episode, always has Vera solving the crime, leaving her colleagues as nothing more than shadows. None of the other detectives appear to have any idea about solving the crime, indeed, they are so mediocre, it's a surprise they are still employed as part of the police service,

Set in a holiday camp, a bunch of pop artists, are featured singing uninspiring B type songs, and demonstrating that none of them can act. Mike Sarne, one hit wonder, and John Leyton, who had a couple of big hits, try hard, but with a threadbare storyline and awful dialogue, the film degenerates into a lot of manic leaping around without rhyme or reason. Freddie and the Dreamers are embarrassingly bad, since all of them were 'wooden' in the acting department, and their attempts at humour were as funny as a Sunday wet afternoon! A few years after the film was released, most of the singers drifted into obscurity and frankly I'm not surprised.

The storyline revolves around a highly dubious betting scam in horse racing. Enter, Ronald Shiner, playing a bookie, who I was never keen on, because in this film, like so many of his film roles, he is constantly shouting and grinning. His presence on the screen simply grates - and as for Brian Rix, here is once again playing the gormless 'village idiot' character, which is enough to send audiences running to the exit door, long before the film has finished. 'Dry Rot' was a 'popular' farce that ran for many years at the Whitehall Theatre in London, however, it's transfer to the big screen, failed miserably as the dialogue was excruciatingly bad and the slapstick antics were simply cringeworthy. Sid James gives some mild relief in his usual role as a 'dodgy' spiv type character, but even his comedic acting skills can't save this film from being a total dud. 'Dry Rot,' even when it was released in 1961, looked dated, and sadly with the passage of time, it can only be considered a tedious museum piece.

Terry Thomas became a major comedy star in countless films during the 50's and 60's. However, this early outing for Terry is nothing more than cobbled together scenes, where he can demonstrate his foreign character accents, as well as his comedic talent by using a range of 'caddish' expressions. After around 20 minutes of watching a film with a wafer thin story and excruciating dialogue about a private detective trying to catch a bunch of crooks, my interest sharply began to wane. Terry Thomas did his best with the poor script, but even he couldn't rescue it from being a lame and frankly mediocre film.

Instead of the usual storyline of a young American's trials and tribulations, while studying at Oxbridge, the director had decided to twist the narrative by casting the young, and then up and coming German actor, Hardy Kruger as the Teutonic, blue eyed and blond exchange student, whose naivety and ignorance about the cultural and esoteric mysteries and nuances of Cambridge University life, ruffles the feathers of the stuffy, snooty middle class fellow students. The major problem here is that Kruger looks as if he's in his thirties, ditto his fellow student, lantern jawed, and plummy voiced Ronald Lewis. Even Kruger's romantic interest, Sylvia Sims, the 1950's 'English Rose' of the Rank film studios, looks less like a young student, but at least her charm and looks kept me awake during the film which was tedious in the extreme. The film is more about highlighting caricatures of undergraduate life, where much boozing and 'wenching' goes on in jazz clubs and where students seem to behave like wayward juveniles as they perpetually get themselves into scrapes with the college authorities. The director presents Kruger and Lewis as undergraduate stereotypes of young men behaving badly as they engage in 'silly antics' in their 'free time' and during the annual bore, the so called 'rag week.' The usual 'ho ho ho' climbing over walls by our two 'Romeo's' after midnight to reach their student accommodation while drunk, is another tick boxing exercise by the director in presenting students as immature and innocent twerps, who find their sole pleasure in extra curricular activities! Yes, there were the delightful views of students punting along the river, but the whole film was yawn inducing. It was definitely a second feature and forgettable film.

Despite the presence of Bill Owen and Leslie Dwyer as two working class dustman, the script is so poor, that to say this was a considered a B film is being too kind. The storyline where Owen and Dwyer come across a rare and valuable book, which then gets passed around is tedious in the extreme. Dandy Nichols, who achieved later success playing the wife of Alf Garnett, makes a valiant effort to inject some humour into the proceedings, but a daft script is even too much for her! This is a very dated film and strictly for lovers of turgid 'comedies' made in the 50's. No wonder these type of films are consigned to the museum of awfully, cheap films, where only film buffs look at them out of curiosity! Give it a big miss!

I normally enjoy watching an Alfred Hitchcock film, but sadly this one falls well short of his usual standards. It suffers from a meandering script, and too much inconsequential and dreary dialogue between Tippi Hedren (Melanie Daniels) and Rod Taylor, who plays 'Mitch' her romantic interest. However, the film is handicapped by the fact that there is very little sexual chemistry between these two - and to make matters worse, Tippi Hedren's performance is limp and unconvincing. Rod Taylor's character is not exactly interesting - and so it's up to the rest of the supporting cast to give the film some sparkle. There are some great cameo parts. Ethel Griffies is superb as the ornithologist - as is Ruth McDevitt, the owner of the bird shop. Jessica Tandy also gives a strong performance as Mitch's mother. But the problem here is that the director seems torn between presenting a 'love story' or giving the audience a traditional horror story. Sadly, it falls between two stalls. The lack of realism is highlighted by the fact that Tippi Hedren is always 'dressed up to the hilt' (never without high heels) and heavily made up, despite her stay in this sleepy harbour community, where the folk are always casually dressed, while Rod Taylor never steps out of his suit and tie, whatever the social circumstances. The actual scenes of the birds swooping down on their victims, causing mayhem wears a little thin by the end of the film - and certainly doesn't induce much horror. The harbour locations are interesting but a significant number of scenes are shot in the studio, making the film look 'cheesy.' 'The Birds' as a Hitchcock film hasn't aged well. I was disappointed.

Jumping for Joy is one of those chaotic, anarchic and 'slap stick' films, which during the 50's, often featured Norman Wisdom. However, Frankie Howard takes the leading role, but Howard, who plays Willie Joy, comes across as a bland and slow witted type village idiot, but without the Wisdom mannerisms, energy and acrobatics.

The thin storyline revolves around greyhound racing and betting skullduggery with a cast of well known British character actors, all playing stereotypical eccentrics. Howard, isn't good enough to carry the film, and although on stage, TV and radio, he attracted a large audience, Howard didn't have that charisma or personality of a Norman Wisdom to retain interest of a cinema audience. It doesn't help matters when you have banal and cliched dialogue together with cobbled together 'Keystone cop' type, mayhem scenes, designed to promote mirth, but spectacularly fails. Essentially, the supporting cast do their their best with their cardboard and one dimensional roles, but they are defeated by an inane script and actors behaving like dim adolescents. This sort of film was outdated even when it was released in 1956 and since then it has become one of those museum pieces which people look at when reflecting about the demise of the British film industry.

The storyline involving one of the smaller the Channel Islands, whereby the British navy, with David Niven, as the army officer leading an operation to rescue a prize, pedigree cow (Venus) from a small island called Amorel, rather then let the Germans have the prize beast, seems to have great potential for humour and drama. However, sad to say, it doesn't really tick either box, suggesting that the director was caught in two minds. Bernard Lee as usual plays an army officer, but his role leaves him little to do. Glynis Johns is miscast as the local guide and Niven's romantic interest, since she shows no sparkle or energy but comes across as a mild mannered, one dimensional character, who speaks in the same 'butter wouldn't melt in my mouth' monotone voice throughout the film. Kenneth More, is also wasted, playing the island's pacifist artist, who wants nothing to do with the war, More never engages the audience's empathy, since he walks around most of the the time feeling hard done by and looking sorry for himself. Niven never breaks into a sweat, but plays the cheery, urbane, 'come on lads' type of military officer, who adopts a 'Boy Scout leader' approach to the bovine operation. Even the dramatic scenes between the plucky channel islanders and the German are underwhelming and unconvincing. The film meanders along and presents a happy outcome but essentially it misses the mark.

Yet another film, where our American cousins, courtesy of an American airman, Joe Turner, played by Peter Thompson, and his two 'buddies,' encounter the upper crust of English society. The contrived plot, whereby Thompson inherits the title of 'Earl,' gives the writers plenty of opportunity to trot out the usual contrasting hackneyed phrases and different forms of social etiquette, which expose the cultural differences between two English speaking countries. The differences are literally 'hammered home' by Thompson's 'buddy' 'Slowburn'' played by Jon Pertwee, no less, dressed in very loud clothes, repeating 'yeah' all the time and speaking in an excruciating phoney New York, Bronx nasal accent. The other 'buddy' called, 'Butch,' played by Harold Lloyd Junior, has little to say or do, but merely act as a shadow to Peter Thompson. Sid James, has a cameo part as a cigar chewing, nightclub owner, but is far from convincing, let down by a poor accent and a tendency to 'overdo' it on the trite American 'gangster' phrases. The English aristocrats likewise are simply cardboard stereotypes, with the 'wolfish cad' being played by Guy Middleton, who refers to any lady he meets as 'old girl' and Richard Wattis, playing the very posh and stuffy butler, who is shocked and mortified by the informality of the three American guests, who have invaded the aristocratic home of his 'master' played by Edward Chapman, the Duke of Fontenham. The cultural differences, which are at the heart of the film, simply fail to summon up amusement or humour, hence the tempo of the film is all very tedious and flat. Thompson's romance with Angela, the Duke's daughter, played Noelle Middleton, is dull and lacks any form of sparkle. Her BBC, RADA voice, and her one dimensional responses, renders the 'romantic' scenes as yawn inducing.

Sadly, this was nothing more then a 'time filler' film, before the main feature. Great waste of talent.

Some student dentists, who look as if they are on the verge of being middle aged, receive some 'dodgy' dental equipment that's.been stolen. What follows is a painful and tedious narrative whereby Kenneth Connor and his student dental colleagues try to rid themselves of the loot. Bob Monkhouse, a popular TV comedian of the time, couldn't really act. Someone like Leslie Phillips would have been far better, hence from the word go, Monkhouse is out of his depth and thus looks distinctly uncomfortable in the starring role. Sadly, the second lead, Ronnie Stevens, doesn't really impress in a comedic role, but comes across as nothing more than a bland, stuffy and colourless figure. Only Kenneth Connor comes out with any credit, but even he can't save this awful film due to the puerile dialogue and the flimsy storyline. This sort of film was an effort to cash in on the 'Doctor in the House' films but spectacularly fails! The film wasn't funny when it was released and after 60 years, it's lost all traces of humour! After 30 minutes of watching this drivel, I needed a stiff drink.

Arthur Askey was a comic star of the stage, radio - and later on TV. As a live performer he was hilarious, but his zany antics and anarchic behaviour on stage didn't translate well to the screen. The jokes were excruciating and the dialogue was simply unfunny and infantile. The storyline of Askey and sidekick Murdoch, ending up in a castle in Sussex, which housed German agents was an opportunity to trot out the usual banal, tiresome and inane jokes about the enemy. The romantic duet between Murdoch and Kirkwood was strictly lack lustre and amateurish. I imagine the public needed laughs at the cinema to lift the mood and spirit of the nation in 1940, but this film simply showed that the British film industry couldn't seem to produce films which combined comedy and song. This film was in a essence a series of cobbled together daft sketches which were tedious and third rate.

Kenneth More is badly miscast as the dashing young hero, Richard Hannah, playing a desperate man 'on the run.' A young Roger Moore, would have been a far better choice whereas Kenneth More, looks looks and sounds too much like a middle aged civil servant, who sees his predicament as nothing more than a bit of a lark - and with his cheery demeanour, he renders the character as totally unconvincing. Hannay's escape from the train has our 'hero' still wearing his suit and tie as he hitches a lift from lorry driver, Sid James. The problem in this scene is that the make up and costume department didn't take the trouble to make sure Hannay look dishevelled and sweaty. Instead we see him sitting in the cab of the lorry, without a spot of grime or dirt on his face or clothes. His jolly exterior throughout all his trials and tribulations wears very thin by the end of the film. Instead of a thriller, we have a light comedy, where there are few real dramatic or nerve tingling moments. It's all too sanitised and even when the flirtatious landlady, played by Brenda de Banzie tries to compromise him, he cheerily dismisses any such sexual impropriety and quickly escapes from her amorous clutches. The film is is essentially a light hearted romp through the Scottish countryside with our very unlikely hero always keeping one step ahead of the police. The film hasn't aged well.

I found this film very hard going to watch, as the songs went from mediocre to awful. The thin, tedious storyline of some lads working for the GPO wanting to get into the pop music scene, together with the dire acting, left me totally underwhelmed. This was 1963, before the Beatles wave of music filled the radio airwaves, and frankly it wasn't before time, as British pop music was frankly yawn inducing. This is a cheaply made film, and it shows, directed by Lance Comfort, where scenes are cobbled together to act as a prelude to pop artists like Patsy Ann Noble, Heinz and Helen Shapiro, all warbling forgettable songs. I even spotted Gene Vincent, an American relic of the 50's early rock and rollers, who by 1963, was past his sell by date. He had a few hits, but by the early 60's, his style of rock and roll music had became unfashionable to teenage audiences. The only singer of note, was Helen Shapiro, who had a great singing voice, but she deserved a much better showcase to display her vocal talents as opposed to appearing in this very low grade film.

I saw an episode this evening and frankly the puerile and absurd storyline, the usual heavy nods to diversity casting and the general silliness of the dialogue rendered it unwatchable for an adult audience! It tries to be the female equivalent of 'Father Brown' but fails miserably! The actors can't be blamed as the banal & inane script doesn't give them a chance. To say it's a lightweight series is an understatement.

This TV adaptation is a pale shadow of the 1956 film, which starred David Niven as Phileas Fogg. They have changed the main supporting characters to tick the diversity boxes and Phileas Fogg, played by David Tennant, instead of being a fun loving eccentric, is a bore and a colourless character! Many of the scenes seem to revolve around social issues, feminism and civil rights, with a 'feminist' journalist constantly parading her assertiveness and Phileas Fogg's servant, now a black man, is cast as the social conscience of the film. I watched the first episode, which plodded along with David Tennant frequently whinging about his plight about being cast adrift on a island, but the second 'Wild West' episode was even worse. The American accents were cringeworthy and the actress playing the tough, hard bitten American lass had a grating southern drawl which was never convincing. It seemed that the script writers were trying to rewrite history and imbue the characters with 21st century social justice notions. Tennant came across as an annoying and naive character who talks in riddles and always seems confused. Indeed, his portrayal of Phileas Fogg is all wrong and hence makes it unwatchable. My advice is to see again the 1956 film, which is far more entertaining!

Another 1950's low budget B film, which features American actor, Keith Anders as seaman Dave Martens, who while on shore leave, takes time out to investigate the death of his brother. In his search to try and get to the bottom of his brother's death, he quickly becomes involved with the world of London's haute couture, where he meets fashion designer Sally Meadows, top stylist Kingsley Beauchamp and Madame Dupont, who is the financial backer of a shady fashion company. Our American hero quickly becomes the number one suspect over some stolen diamonds as well as being implicated in the murder of the fashion model who was actually wearing them. Keith Anders as Dave, works hard to inject some energy and style in what is a very dull and implausible storyline. Michael Gough is miscast as the the sinister and suave criminal in chief, since he seems to be overwrought for most of the scenes, and indeed spends most of his time constantly giving everyone a maniacal stare. However, Alfred Burke and Edwin Richfield, who starred in so many B films in supporting roles do a fine job as the two 'low life' individuals working for Gough, but despite their best efforts, the weak storyline and the unconvincing acting of Gough, makes it a yawn.

This film featured a galaxy of 1950's comedy stars of radio and TV to showcase their talents. The storyline is essentially presenting a 'window' on National Service training, and although the script is thin, the humour of 'Carry on Sergeant' stems from watching those glorious comedy actors like Kenneth Connor, Charles Hawtrey, Hattie Jacques and Bill Owen. Plus the wonderful William Hartnell, who with his martinet sergeant Major voice, thundering across the parade ground, and his constant exasperation with the hopeless squad of solders he inherits, manages to sustain the interest of the audience. Bob Monkhouse never seemed comfortable in his role as a raw recruit and his romantic liaison with the 1950's pin up girl, Shirley Eaton, was responsible for some tedious and very ropey dialogue. Yes, it's very dated, and yes there are moments when the film sags, but the compensations of seeing so many well known and excellent character actors from the 50's is a joy in itself.

Conrad Philips plays the secret agent trying to uncover the reason for the murder of a British spy who's been washed up on a beach near Dublin. Phillips is an uninspiring lead, and like the rest of the cast simply goes through the motions without expending too much energy. The film is far too heavily laden with tedious and polite dialogue, accompanied by a prodigious amount of smoking and drinking in hotels and bars. The lack of action and a convincing dramatic narrative means the film wanders aimlessly from scene to scene with one dimensional characters, who seem to drift in and out without rhyme or reason. The only compensations are the picturesque views of the beaches and the coastal surroundings. This is strictly a low grade 'B' film and a time filler before the main feature.

A dull and daft storyline which plods along and hence fails to generate any interest. Plus with the cliched dialogue and with Stewart Granger, trying, and failing miserably to be witty and debonair, condemns this film as no more than a very average pot boiler. The film needed a Carry Grant as the male lead, whereas Granger's attempt to play the swashbuckling member of the landed gentry never quite comes off. Some good cameo parts with Ronald Squire and Michael Medwin trying to hold the film together, but even their efforts can't save it from being a mediocre B film.

'The island of Children' is a bird sanctuary, which the local villagers are determined to preserve, despite the plans of the RAF to take it over as a regular firing range. It's all very civilised, with the usual rural stereotypes getting worked up to mount a campaign to stop the 'the boys in blue.' The film is not exactly a comedy, nor does is take a serious look at the issues of conservation. Indeed, it's more of a light hearted film, a sort of David and Goliath tale, where honest rural folk get to come together to mount what looks like an unequal and impossible task of keeping island as a sanctuary for our feathered friends. However, the film has a charm of its own, revealing a 1950's Norfolk village where life was conducted in the slow lane and where the focus of social meetings always took place in the village pub. John Gregson does his best as the agreeable corporal, who can see both sides of the argument, while his love interest, Muriel Pavlov, does a competent job as the sensitive, sweet lass, who acts as the 'environmental voice' of the village as she waxes lyrical about about the implications of losing the bird sanctuary. Although the film features, Guy Middleton, who normally plays the suave and smooth moustached hero, is surprisingly down the pecking order, playing the adjutant, who gets little to say very little, while Kieron Moore is never really convincing as the squadron leader. However, as compensation, there is the delightful Harry Fowler, playing the usual 'salt of the earth' cheery type, and as such, adds a much needed bright and breezy presence to a film which at times becomes a bit tedious. It's a film which harks back to a quieter decade without fast cars and mobile phones. As a bonus there are some great shots of Norfolk Broads and the surrounding villages. A gentle film for a quite afternoon with your feet up.

Kenneth More is cast as planning engineer David Webb, a bland and mild mannered individual, who finds himself on board the Queen Elizabeth sailing to New York. The storyline involves our timid engineer trying to negotiate a high powered loan for his company from wealthy businessman, Roland Culver. More is in my mind miscast as the engineer who initially blunders around the ship, but then undergoes a character transformation, losing his 'stuffed shirt' persona during the voyage, becoming bright, breezy and confident. He looks and sounds too middle aged and one dimensional, hence it beggars belief he was able to win the admiration of so many passengers. His role would have suited a younger man like Donald Sinden or even Jack Lemmon, who both excelled in light comedy. More also tries too hard and his 'it's all jolly good fun' demeanour becomes tiresome. With a thin storyline, it's cardboard characters and woeful dialogue, the film quickly becomes a yawn. The two shining lights are Sid James, who plays the matter of fact, canny and astute ship's steward. Also, credit to John Welsh, who plays the Irish barman. However, despite these two exceptions, the film can only be classified as an underwhelming and tedious comedy!

This is a tedious and frankly dull second feature film about antiques dealer, Peter Finch, hoping to hit the jackpot by searching for genuine antiques which he can buy and then sell on for a very handsome profit. The storyline, with Finch as an antiques dealer hoping to get rich never gets out of second gear. The problem is that the characters are not just one dimensional, but they just seem to casually appear and disappear without rhyme or reason. Finch, an outstanding actor, is wasted in this film, as he's required to do no more then play a low energy and bland antiques dealer, and despite all the best efforts of Alfie Bass, Finlay Currie, Adrienne Corri and Rosalind Crutchley, they fail to breathe life into a limp, feeble and uninteresting storyline. The script is the problem since there's simply not enough going on in the way of twists and turns to engage the interest of the audience. A very disappointing and dull film.

Hats off to the director, John Gilling, who delivers a fast moving, action packed movie, which has a film 'noir' dimension about it. The storyline revolves around a American naval officer, Gregor Stevens, played by Scott Brady, who is on shore leave, where he hopes to meet up with his brother, but to his horror, his brother is in prison, convicted of murder, and has three days left before he will be hanged. The muscular and athletic Brady now begins to take matters into his own hands to see if he can find out as to the actual circumstances, which has led to his brother languishing in a cell, waiting to be executed. Our hero, turned sleuth, gives an energetic and powerful performance as a 'man on a mission,' where he confronts not only several shady nightclub operators and thugs, but also the blond, sultry and deliciously beautiful Yvonne, played by Mary Castle, the resident nightclub singer. Brady has plenty of opportunity to show his physical and athletic prowess in a number of scenes where he has to chase, as well as evade several underworld henchmen, who wish to 'terminate' his interest in his hunt to find out the truth. Brady's frantic investigations, where he's diving in and out of taxis and cars, also sees him confronting some very unsavoury characters, such as 'Sartago,' the smooth and suave nightclub manager, wonderfully played by Ferdy Mayne, as well as from John Blythe, who gives a convincing performance playing the cheerful and breezy cockney boxer, Dave Leary. There are many dramatic twists and turns in this fast moving storyline, which ends with a thrilling 'Hitchcockian'' climax around Olympia in London. Although the finale is a bit far fetched, the director and the cameraman should be congratulated for creating an entertaining and riveting film, where many of the action scenes have a sense of gritty realism, set against the backdrop of London in the early 1950's. Normally, these type of quick quota B films, which were made in the 50's, with an American lead actor, were mediocre 'time fillers,' shown before the main feature, but the pacy storyline and the strong acting performances by the two main protagonists, Brady and Castle, puts this on a much higher level.

Guy Rolfe, plays an army officer, on leave from occupied Germany, who visits an art gallery and is immediately captivated by the image of a young girl who he sees in a painting. The young girl's father, who happens to be a Jewish professor, realises Rolfe's interest, which prompts him to tell him that the girl in the picture is his daughter, who he hasn't seen since they were both incarcerated in different German concentration camps. Rolfe makes it his mission to see if he locate the missing girl when he flies back to Germany after his leave had expired. Strong performances from Guy Rolfe, Herbert Lom playing the sinister 'alleged' father of the girl in the picture and Mai Zetterling as the 'missing girl.' The film has a very involved storyline which constantly twists and turns, but sometimes rather too much, with the result that's easy to lose attention. Nevertheless, the acting is top notch, and watching Herbert Lom and Mai Zetterling is always a joy. It's also a worthy film since it highlights the problems of liberated prisoners of war and refugees who are trying to rebuild their relationships as well as their lives in the immediate aftermath of WW2. Summary: Interesting and well acted drama