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The Witness for the Prosecution (2016)
Could not be more bleak if it tried
Why, oh why this unfortunate attempt to turn Agatha Christie into Fiodor Dostoyevsky?
Citizen Kane (1941)
Alas, I simply cannot understand the hype
After many years of procrastination I have finally decided to watch Citizen Kane. There has been so much said about it that I expected something truly outstanding.
Alas, I simply cannot understand the hype. I was astonished to discover that it has been called the greatest film of all times by so many. Try as I might, I just could not quite see that. Perhaps I should have seen it as a teenager, surely it would have left a better impression then. Unfortunately, neither the story nor the visuals speak to me. It does seem unusual and I appreciate that it would have been really innovative at the time however the story appeared to me as empty as a tin bucket - a lot of melodramatic noise with very little substance and mostly underwhelming acting. So much hype about a simple story about an arrogant man with a chip on his shoulder who turns abusive and controlling instead of achieving anything worthwhile, an ode to an empty life.
I am glad that I finally saw it and can remove it from my list of cultural pieces I wish to be familiar with. Perhaps I am missing something important there although the desire to find out more is very slim on my part.
To recover from this lucklustre experience I decided to watch again The Very Same Munchhausen (1980) which I consider to be if not the greatest then certainly one of the greatest films of all time. Every sound, every look, every word speaks volumes and there is so much meaning behind every scene. Perhaps my taste is just different. In any case, I can now move on to other items on the list such as Tess of the D'Urbervilles or Death in Venice.
La La Land (2016)
An exquisite pleasure - the kind that leaves one ultimately unsatisfied
I liked this film very much - the time flew by and I was completely transported to a place of dreams and high emotion. It felt fresh, naïve without being sickening, romantic without being cloying and had a a very nice touch of Casablanca about it. As someone who grew up surrounded by Art and artists, I am very familiar with both the romanticism and impossibility of a lasting relationship between two artists and that sentiment rang very true.
The film is of a very particular type of pleasure though - the exquisite kind that leaves one ultimately unsatisfied. Perhaps it is as it should be - or perhaps it could have been truly magnificent if it had a little more understatement and a little more flair where it counts. I have great respect Emma Stone and she was terrific - and yet, in my opinion, this film could have been made brilliant with a lead who'd be more elegant, stylish and lush, someone like Jenna Dewan or Scarlet Johansson.
All in all, a perfectly dreamy, romantic, emotional and bittersweet musical and miles better than most Hollywood films in the past 20 years, nearly worth all the hype.
Fifty Shades of Grey (2015)
Poor quality glorification of domestic violence with a few steamy scenes
Sam Taylor-Johnson tried, she really did but it seems like she just couldn't get from under E. L. James's thumb. The result is probably the worst "romantic" film in the whole history of cinema. There are approximately 16 min that are worth removing from the film and watching separately - and I'm kindly including the timings (you're welcome). They mainly are good because they are steamy (what the hype promised) and the characters don't talk. Here they are: 42:25-45:18; 47:50- 50:50; 1.02:47-1.05:30, 1.19:17- 1.19:43; 1.26:58-1.30:34; 1.47:54-1.49:31
Jamie Dornan's wooden acting and tasteless sets aside,I honestly have really had enough of misguided fans exclaiming that Christian Grey is just "troubled " and "misunderstood" and Fifty Shades of Grey (both the book - to use the term loosely - and the film) have nothing to do with domestic violence.
Wake up, please and smell the horrid stench of complacency. Bad things happen because we let them happen - both to ourselves and to others. The popularity of an abusive relationship portrayed as romantic has done and is continuing to do its insidious damage - the violence against women remains at high levels and narratives like this are causing substantial damage.
How on Earth manipulating, coercing, stalking, controlling and actually beating a woman is not violence (as emphasised by some of the reviews)? Coercive or controlling behaviour is now officially a crime in UK (and not a minute too soon by the way).
Artistic/Entertainment points aside the film clearly shows a young woman with an unformed sexual identity who may yet be unsure of what she wants and likes - she seems however quite quite sure that she isn't interested in BDSM as a lifestyle and barely interested in it as a sexual practice - she is happy with the simplest sensation-play but she definitely doesn't want humiliation-play, pain-play, immersive submission or any of the other more involved BDSM practices.
The whole of the above is actually summed up in one of the exchanges they have where Anna asks him why would she do it. He says "to please me". She then says "what do I get out of it" and he says "me".
This portrayal of BDSM here is unfair and deceitful - it offends the very principles of the practice which are Sane, Safe and Consensual. Anna doesn't seem to be very interested in the lifestyle, it makes her laugh and she doesn't understand it. The only reason why she goes into it at all is because she is attracted to the "troubled" creep who manipulates and coerces her from the very start.
We don't see any after-care nor any real discussions about partner's limits other than the most absurd signing of a BDSM contract imaginable.
Furthermore, a Dominant is not someone who actually enjoys hurting another person - that is not what BDSM is about. The relationship of Dom and sub is intricate but it is based on trust and on responding to the deepest needs of the submissive partner. Popular to contrary belief, a Dom can only let go as far as their sub will allow - not only that but a He/She has to remain in control all the time and make sure that their partner doesn't get harmed by being unable to say "stop" when experiencing a powerful endorphin rush. One person at another person's mercy is the fantasy and it is and has to be very convincing for it to work but in reality, the Dominant is fulfilling the submissive's needs first and foremost.
Certain sexual practice is not something that people can be "convinced" of. It doesn't work that way. You can't make someone like something they have no interest in. That undermines the very essence of being human - our free will. And if this is not violence then I don't know what it is.
It doesn't matter one iota if a guy "had a terrible childhood" or anything like that - how is that relevant? If he is disturbed then it's up to him to get help etc and not to inflict violence on innocent vulnerable women. I don't know what the writer - I use the term loosely - was thinking and I appreciate that the director tried to improve it but this atrocious story is beyond saving.
Bridget Jones's Baby (2016)
Funny, silly, uplifting - a perfect girls night out
I haven't read the third Bridget Jones book yet as I couldn't face spoiling the previous happy ever after. This film comes after the second book (and film) and before the third book. Relieved, I was excited to see it.
What a hoot! There were plenty of unexpected moments and I loved the fact that Hugh Grant is finally out of the picture - not because I dislike him, it's just that the seemingly never-ending rivalry between the guys would be impossible to stomach yet again. Once was great and twice more than enough.
There were so many laugh-out-loud and gasp-with-outrage moments, plenty of silliness as well. Sure, there were also things that didn't make full sense but hey, it's a romantic comedy after all. The only thing that I would really really like to change is the song at the end. Just no. What were the producers thinking? Oh, well.
I thought the combination of actors was inspired, Patrick Dempsey and Agni Scott brought a breath of fresh air, Colin Firth looked a tad older than his presumed age (but that didn't spoil the film for me) and I absolutely adore Renee Zellweger - ever since the first Bridget Jones film. The level of talent and commitment she showed by basically embodying Bridget has impressed me no end and I remained impressed ever since. I was startled to see her photo a year or so ago where she looked really different - it was just surprising.
There are so many interviews with actors in every magazine you pick up that they all seem the same. Well, Renee Zellweger's interview in Stylist was a pleasure to read. She seems lovely.
Anyway, to agree with another reviewer - enough already with constant judging. We all grow older. Get over it.
As Dita Von Teese says, everyone has a right to make what they want of themselves, whether by means of nature or man-made!
Bridget Jones Baby is a hilarious comedy that feeds into fans nostalgia as well as contemporary issues. It has it's moments of poignancy and wishful thinking as well some great scenes as comedy of manners. Time will tell whether it will become a classic - but it sure is funny now!
Magic Mike XXL (2015)
Finally, the Magic!
This film was perfect - sexy, silly, fun, cheesy, ridiculous, dancing, singing and focus on female pleasure.
Yes, please - I'd gladly have some more!
I can't believe I've only seen it now and it totally made my day - I remember trying to get a girls' party together to go to the cinema at the time but we could't quite manage - a pity. I would have loved to see it on a big screen surrounded by excited audience.
This is the Magic Mike that I wanted - the first one was great as far as Channing Tatum's story was concerned however that "poor little spoilt boy" addition was quite unfortunate, unnecessary and unconvincing. I just didn't buy it. The love interest could have been a little more attractive as well. Well, never mind that now the good stuff arrived!
Here we have everything: sight of fit naked backside in the first 3 minutes, a prank, Channing's wet-suit Mr Darcy moment, cheesy banter, "My Pony" solo and that's just the start. Fun all the way and focus on the right things: friendship, doing what you like and are good at, working at being a good performer, having fun and giving women what they want.
Some moments are so cheesy that I laughed out loud - but it's meant to be a bit ridiculous and not taking itself seriously.
I loved every minute of it. Even over-the-top faux romantic singing. Channing - yes. Yes. The best in hot and exciting dancing ever, hands down. He moves like he was born to dance - like he loves it. Poetry in motion, need I say more!
I actually loved that there was no actual sex in this film - it reminds me of some of those teasing sex-bomb comedies from the 50s where women are portrayed as over-the-top sexy, cheesy and silly - only here we have a gender reversal. Perfect male-cheesecake film and oh so pleasing.
A Royal Night Out (2015)
A really enjoyable comedy - once one overcomes the yearning to know the real story
I was very excited to see this film - it seemed like a dream come true when I saw a poster of it.
Later on I found out that it is based on a real fact - I could only hope that the creators would not go for too many cheap thrills. Well - they did and they didn't.
There were plenty of moments that made me cringe and feel disappointed (useless guarding officers - pompous and idiotic; the brothel - what on Earth for?; the running around) - on the other hand there were plenty of opportunities for cheap thrills that were not used and for that I am grateful.
The scenery, clothes and hair styles were wonderfully engrossing and seemed authentic - a rare treat.
All in all I have to say that the film was good - there were poignant moments as well as OTT ones; it did convey that very British sense of duty and loyalty which I admire a lot.
Lockout (2012)
A great romp of a sci-fi thriller worthy of a Stainless Steel Rat
I would like to thank the directors and writers for a truly enjoyable film. This is what true entertainment is like - wry, packed with action, with a toy plot which is just convincing enough to be absorbing and transparent enough to be non-scary. I have to confess that I am one of those impressionable souls who can't watch scary films alone and who can't watch horror films at all. This particular gem has been made known to me courtesy of my brother who periodically drags me away from the likes of Barbara Stanwyck and Cary Grant in order to keep me up-to-date with the "modern" cinema. This film was sheer joy from start to end, probably made with babies like me in mind - people who want a scary film without any real fear. I loved it all, loved the "fallen angel" wisecracking hero, cliché privileged damsel in distress (who toughens up enjoyably towards the end), scarily evil villains who don't get the chance to stoop to anything truly horrifying, the talking heads (all of them old and white except the token African American). My favourite part is the ending with the non-kiss. This is one cliché that would have really disappointed. Instead, we get more wisecracking. Perfection.
Apropos, did anyone else notice the poor choice of a bodyguard? Where did he train - Academy for Brain Dead? Going into a maximum security prison with a hidden gun and becoming aggressive towards a guy that should be watched like a hawk - and if that is not enough - causing the charge to almost suffocate. Seriously, I breathed a sigh of relief when he died.
Marion Snow is now a new favourite character of mine. I didn't know Guy Pearce existed until I've seen this film. It's time to look up his filmography.
Agatha Raisin: The Quiche of Death (2014)
Sassy Agatha Raisin in a witty and frothy adaptation
I have found this film by accident and remembered that I have read the first book in the series which wasn't much to my liking due to the character being so desperate (I definitely prefer A House for the season and The travelling matchmaker by the same author).
Well, I thoroughly enjoyed this adaptation. Ashley Jensen is brilliant here, even better than she was in Ugly Betty. It's great to see a sassy and stylish Agatha Raisin who is a little silly but not ridiculous and very human. The cleaner was pure joy and Billy with his crush was priceless - let alone the vicar and his sermon on debauchery in front of a handful of parishioners who wouldn't know lust if it hit them in the face. The story was told quite well with good pacing and atmosphere.
I was relieved to see that Agatha's desperate behaviour has been toned down to a single awkward episode - and even that was not fully out of her own volition. It was also nice to see her one friend more like a real friend.
Great take on the book, wonderful Agatha - interfering but stylish and sassy - I would be glad to see more of her.
Cheerful Weather for the Wedding (2012)
An atmospheric film with great camera work and characters that are hard to warm up to
I'd rate this film 8 out of 10 as it was more satisfying than I expected. I have no regrets over watching it even though most of the characters were quite irksome. Felicity Jones has been a favourite of mine ever since Northanger Abbey and I relished the opportunity of seeing her here as an entitled and tired young woman who has grown up a little too quickly.
Here we are, a wedding about to begin with the brooding bride left completely to her owns devices, assorted eccentric relatives chit- chatting downstairs and a former lover (which is obvious from the start) driving everybody crazy including the viewer. The brewing situation is quite predictable, I fail to see the need for all concerned to be ever so dramatic about it. I do believe that the bride is the only one who has the right to it. It is her life that will be tied down to a happy-go-lucky guy who is either not very bright or doesn't care enough about her to take her pet on their journey to live on another continent.
This film is really atmospheric, the sets are beautiful as well as the costumes although I can't say the same for Felicity's hair (what were they thinking? It looks like a wig that's askew).
The jilted lover is quite a pathetic figure who keeps getting on everybody's nerves after foolishly attending a wedding of a former lover - an invitation to which he should have obviously refused. He does provide the most satisfying drama at the end and is quite pleasant to look at. Despite all that he is a pathetic figure of a man who explodes (I have to admit - not without outrageous provocation) and offloads his unwanted feelings onto a room of onlookers after failing to do anything about getting the woman he wanted. She might have broken his heart - but what has he done about it? Spending some time with her, dancing a bit, chasing her in a boat and having sex with her after she initiated does not a proposal make. He admits that he never wanted to marry her - so what did he want? This unnecessary self-important romantic aggravation makes him an unsympathetic character.
We are left with the aftermath of a storm in a teacup and a gleeful telephone conversation the newlywed's mother is having with one of her colourful relatives. And they were a sight indeed: an overly dramatic younger sister looking for high romance and finding it in the bushes, silly cousins with a lampshade, a vulgar aunt with a Hitler look- alike chauffeur, spoilt child of a bitter couple with a truly odd sense of marital happiness - all eccentric, sad and amusing in their own ways. My favourite character is the friend/cousin with beautiful hair, clothes, face and sensitivity that is completely at odds with everybody else. The one thing I can't understand is why the need to be so mean to that sad little aunt who gets put in the same room as the tall man - a priest uncle? She seems harmless and nowhere as annoying as the bride's mother or the vulgar aunt.
All in all, a comic, at times poignant and somewhat bleak portrayal of an upper class English family with wonderful cinematography.
Scandal (2012)
The best that trashy TV has to offer
This series is truly the most delicious of trash currently on air.
It has everything: over the top pathos, melodrama, love multi- angles, dirty secrets, dynamic action and a touch of wit. The pilot might not pull you in, what with the over acting, "gladiators" comment and the conveyed picture of melodramatic Baywatch type rescue missionaries charging self-importantly ahead. Give it a few more episodes and the illicit love drama will more than make up for it. Then, once you are hooked on that angle, watch the rest of the sordid secrets unfold. This is the fantasy view of what politics are like - dirty, rarely genuine with relationship problems taking centre stage and behind the scenes puppet masters/lackeys taking care of pesky messes that happen along the way. Drama follows drama without so much as a pause getting more and more over the top along the way. "Gladiator" comment is really grating - and incorrect - gladiators were slaves that were forced to kill each other by their captors. It's hard to see how it relates to dodgy self-important PR. Oh, well - have I mentioned the love triangle/multi-angle already?
A very guilty pleasure indeed - and you don't even have to feel bad about indulging in it - it's about politics. Serious topic, don't you know.
La chance de ma vie (2010)
Funny and inspiring
A funny comedy - it started to feel like it is too much to ask in the past decade when every comedy (especially romantic comedy) is less funny than the previous one. I refer to the mainstream Hollywood cinema, naturally. It sometimes feels like the only solution is to resort to 1930 - 1950s golden age films or the undiscovered gems of 1980s. Gladly, there is still French cinema. French comedy I always found to be original, expressive, charmingly physical and frothy - and luckily it seems like it hasn't lost that charming something that makes it so good.
This film is fresh, hysterically funny at times, quirky, ironic, wistful, inspiring and very entertaining - everything that a comedy should be in my opinion. "Un plan parfait" has perhaps engrossed me more - but it is a lovely film on a par with "Heartbreaker" (2010) and "Love is in the air" (2013) . "Second chance" is a perfect rainy day film - it may not be easy to get dubbed or subtitled versions - but the effort is worth it.
High Society (1956)
Potentially good musical ruined by terrible casting
Following a wonderful adaptation of the play in The Philadelphia Story 1940 here comes a potentially great musical. I was very excited to see it and very disappointed afterwards. How do I loathe this musical - every scene feels like it will never end and the songs seem out of place. Gone is the vivacity, wittiness, poignancy and the romance of a wonderful story. Am I supposed to believe that a beautiful young woman of 27 is happily marrying a not very attractive 45 year old? That she finds nothing surprising at being surrounded by short unattractive men who are each older than the other and the main love interest is 53 years old! Watching her surrounded by these old guys I felt the same disgust and distaste I felt when watching The Seven Year Itch - beautiful Ms Monroe being ogled by a a pervy old man. And everyone acts as if this is normal! It is beyond comprehension and utterly unconvincing. Sure the guys can sing - well then find them a love interest of their own age! I do wonder if this film could have been saved by an appropriate casting. Maybe it could have helped avoid implausible scenes, unconvincing dialogue and wooden acting...
Bridesmaids (2011)
I don't know why it's called a comedy
When this film came out it was hyped as the funniest film of the year. The reviews looked like it's a comedy - not so. I managed about 15 minutes of excruciatingly painful, cringe inducing, embarrassingly pathetic characters, beyond banal scenes and unrealistic dialogues before giving up on this "funniest comedy of the year". This film couldn't be less funny if it tried. What happened to comedy I wonder? Since when disgusting dialogue and gross slapstick is so universally funny? Comedy is supposed to feel good - not grossed out, uncomfortable and cringing. The suits seemed to have completely taken over film making and it is truly unfortunate for those of us who like a good story and a laugh. I sincerely hope that the corporate bores will hit a wall one day and will be forced to loosen up the grip of their greedy paws on film makers a little - and that we will see the likes of Live Nude Girls and Bridget Jones Diary again.
The Tango Lesson (1997)
Dancing is the only saving grace of this messy and pretentious film
I was very interested to see this film ever since starting to learn Tango. The reviews seemed favourable enough and the trailer was enticing. Regrettably, it is not a film I can appreciate. It is messy, uneven and pretentious. The plot barely makes sense, the scenes from a supposed film that the protagonist is working on are beyond absurd and the only saving grace is dancing. I only wish there would be more of it and much, much less of the rest. Unfortunately, the learning process is mostly omitted and the protagonist becomes this amazingly proficient dancer all of a sudden - which is implausible to the point of ridiculous - in reality it would take her a minimum of 5 years of intensive work to be able to dance like that - Tango is an incredibly complex and demanding dance, there are few dance forms that are harder (perhaps Ballet and Flamenco).
My advice to the viewer is to fast forward to the dance scenes - this way avoiding the waste of their time and being disappointed.
Austenland (2013)
The most entertaining film since Casanova with Heath Ledger
Austenland is an absolute delight from start to finish. It was a sublime and unexpected pleasure as reviews have previously led me to believe that it was barely mediocre. Not so - the experience was like eating a box of Swiss chocolates - more delicious with each bite. How did I enjoy thee - let me count the ways: - a sweet, slightly vulnerable and spirited heroine - light hearted fun poking at Janeites, American and British - the inspired casting of JJ Field of Northanger Abbey as one of the heroes - the "behind the scenes" moments - Jane Seymour's slimy character - the clothes, the scenery, the cupcake stands - the soundtrack and that hip hop song - and of course - the cringe-inducing, squirming in your seat scene of cheesy pop sing-along.
A truly great comedy. I sincerely hope for more of such!