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Cian-Faal
Reviews
Alexander (2004)
Simply Awful
For once, the critics are right. This movie is not good.
Don't get me wrong. It's not the homosexuality that bothers me. It's not that I find this movie boring, either. What bothers me is the acting, or lack thereof.
None of the actors were any good, and throughout the movie, they consistently spewed out corny lines such as, "Conquer your fear, and I promise you, you'll conquer death!" Not to mention, such lines as "You love him?" Not only were all of the accents overdone and obnoxious, if they weren't involved in some cliché monologue, they were spewing lame one-liners.
While the action sequences were decent, they were few and far between to justify giving this movie more than one star. It would be one thing if this movie was only one hour and a half, or maybe two hours at most, but this was three hours of brutal overacting. Quite honestly, it was a pain to watch.
Now, onto the matter of the accents. While some people have noted that they would be speaking in Greek, and not in English, this does not change the fact that when Greeks speak English, they talk with a rather noticeable accent. They would not be speaking in an Irish accent, and they wouldn't be speaking in a Russian accent (Angelina Jolie). It wouldn't be too bad, but they were all over the top. The accents helped to make the movie quite tedious.
It's the only movie I've ever seen, that made we want to run out of the theater screaming. It's a movie I would never see again. In fact, it's a movie I would rather never see. Period.
Wo hu cang long (2000)
A Decent, But Overrated Martial Arts Movie
Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon is a terribly overrated film. While it certainly isn't the worst ever made, it also definitely isn't the best, as some people like to think.
The action scenes are decent, but uninspired and unoriginal. If you have seen such movies as Once Upon A Time In China I, II, and III, then you've already seen some of the fight scenes.
Probably the worst point of the movie were its scenes of romance. They were cliché, they stretched on for long periods of time and they weren't all that interesting. While I don't mind having romance scenes in movies, I expect them to be of a reasonable length, and for them to be interesting. These scenes dragged on unnecessarily long, and they weren't that interesting.
Another problem with the movie was the characters. The movie gave you no real reason to care about these characters. They just weren't interesting characters, they didn't hook you in.
At the very beginning, the movie was interesting, but after that one fight scene in the restaurant, things went down hill from there.
If I were forced to summarize this movie with one word, that word would be mediocre. If you want a good martial arts movie with interesting romance scenes in it, I recommend the movie Hero, as well as Once Upon A Time In China I, II and III.
Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon, is inferior to many martial arts movies out there, and should only be watched if this is your only choice of rental.
Riven: The Sequel to Myst (1997)
If The First Myst Wasn't Bad Enough...
... the developers just had to make another one. The original Myst was bad, really bad, but Riven takes it to another level.
So, you make up, and you find yourself in a jail cell, being guarded. A man comes and kills the guard, takes your book, then opens the door. As soon as you exit your jail cell, you quickly realize, that hey! You're in the middle of nowhere! Stop reading, and let that sink it for a moment. A jail cell with one guard, out in the middle of nowhere. That doesn't make any sense! In fact, there's not a single moment in Riven which does make sense! It's worse than the original Myst in this way! The puzzles have also gotten worse. While they are still easy, they are now more retarded than ever. One puzzle has you closing a door to solve it. These puzzles are incredibly pointless, and ultimately, have frustrating solutions which have no logic behind them whatsoever.
In Riven, you also have the 'pleasure' of riding several tram ways, or rollercoasters, as some call them. While these may look nice, they're pretty stupid and they add nothing to the game. To make matters worse, you are forced to witness your journey, even if you've done it several times over.
To make matters worse, unlike the original, this game has no real direction of where you should go. The world is bigger, but less inhabited than before. As you explore the various areas of the world of Riven, you'll come across several villages, but there is no one in these villages. In fact, barely anyone shows up. To make matters worse, a lot of the areas you have access to actually have no relevance to any of the puzzles you have to solve. Considering that the game gives you no real direction, having a lot of areas to explore that have no relevance to any of the puzzles in the game hinders it, as you have no idea what the hell you should be doing!
If you hated the original Myst, like I did, then you'll hate this one. Please, do the world a favor and do not play this game!
Myst (1993)
The Worst Game Made. Period.
Out of all of the crappy games made, this game is the worst for many, many reasons.
Not only did this cause the death of an entire genre, traditional adventure games, it also started a new period in gaming history, which began to focus more on the pretty graphics, then it did the actual game play itself! The whole "plot" of Myst is as follows: you are an unnamed explorer, on an island called Myst. Now, there's no one on the island, but for whatever reason, there seem to be buildings everywhere. The game gives you no incentive for playing, no goal that the player has to reach, only various cryptic messages, which in the end, don't make much sense.
In Myst, there are plenty of questions that arise, but as the player finds out at the end, none of these questions are answered. So, you are stuck wandering one some random island, with no inherent purpose, trying to solve various puzzles. These puzzles have no logic behind them, and while they aren't really that hard, they are incredible lame and annoying.
So after you rescue some guy from a green book from his evil sons, who live in the red and blue book, he gives you the privilege of exploring the island.
BUT YOU JUST DID THAT! At the end, your reward is to explore the same island, which you just finished exploring! There are some big questions which remain unanswered at the very. Namely, how a man living on an abandoned island, with no other inhabitants, and no visible tombs to show that people have lived on the island in the past, how such a man COULD HAVE TWO KIDS? And how on earth, could they get stuck in a book? I mean, I love magic as much as the next guy, but according to the game, the books aren't even magical! Apparently, "when you touch a book, you link yourself to another world!" Am I the only one in the world that thinks this is corny? This game constantly showers the player with wonderful tidbits like that.
Another problem I have with this game, are the buildings themselves. Why on earth would someone build a freaking rotating tower just to protect some kind of access key? Not only that, how did these buildings get built in the first place, if there are only four people on the island: a man, his two sons, and his missing wife? I would rather watch paint dry then play this game! Angelina Jolie and Liv Tyler are pretty, but they aren't the best actresses in Hollywood. Similarly, Myst is pretty, but it isn't the best game on the market.
If you are true gamer, and you play games for the game play, not for the pretty graphics, you will avoid this game like the plague! It is an incredibly easy, nonsensical, pointless, romp.
Ong-Bak (2003)
One Of, If Not The, Best Martial Arts Movie Ever Made
I've seen some of the negative comments people have made, and they are really off base, and quite frankly, stupid.
This movie is filled with incredible fight scenes, from the multitude of fights in the fighting circle, to that final fight in the cave. Most of the movie, in fact, was fight scenes, so I find it hard to believe that people think that there aren't any fight scenes in it. Those people who think that there aren't any action scenes in it are blind, obviously.
As another user has said, the whole point of Ong Bak was to display Tony Jaa's skill at martial arts, which is utterly incredible. Tony Jaa is the best martial artist I have had the pleasure of watching on the big screen.
While the plot wasn't the most original, why on earth did you go into Ong Bak expecting some sort of Oscar winning drama, such as Titanic? This movie was merely introducing Tony Jaa's skill to the North American audience.
People really need to lighten up. Just because a movie doesn't have an incredibly detailed and complex plot, that doesn't mean it's a bad movie! There is nothing wrong with a so-called "mindless" action movie, such as Ong-Bak! Just because it isn't some sort of drama, or another plot-saturated film, that doesn't mean it is garbage! While it may not have the best plot around, in terms of pure martial arts, this is the king. There is not a single martial arts movie out there that I have seen, that is more enjoyable than this movie, and I've seen a lot of martial arts movies.
If you are not stuck up, and you are able to enjoy a good martial arts movie, than Ong Bak is definitely for you! This movie is the best marital arts movie I have ever seen, and I gladly give it a 10/10.
The Chronicles of Riddick (2004)
An underrated Sci Fi movie
This film has gotten terrible reviews, and I feel as if its bad press is undeserving. It's a good film, and it frustrates me that people hate this movie. So what if it doesn't have a good, original plot? What movie does have a good original plot? Look at Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon. That movie didn't have an original plot, but yet people praised that movie to high heaven.
Why do people insult the Chronicles of Riddick for its plot? Sure, it doesn't have the best plot in the world, but it's half decent. Besides, the Chronicles of Riddick is an action film. What kind of moron goes into an action movie, like the Chronicles of Riddick, expecting an Oscar winning performance? When I go into a movie, I don't care whether the plot is good! I watch a movie to be entertained! Why bother comparing the Chronicles of Riddick to the Manchurian Candidate (Or what have you)? Would you go into a movie for kids and say the movie is crap because the story is cliché? Of course not. So then, why are people dissing the Chronicles of Riddick for its story? Kids movies and action movies don't require plot for them to be entertaining. Drama films, mystery films and romance films all require plot, sure, but why expect an amazing drama out of a film when the trailers clearly show that the movie is going to be a sci fi film? That doesn't make any sense! This movie isn't the best of all time. Far from it. With that said, it is a good sci fi film, and one that is very enjoyable. Don't let the critics fool you. The Chronicles of Riddick is an enjoyable film, that I recommend.