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The 2nd (2020)
OK if you have nothing else to watch.
I saw Ryan in The Shooter and thought it was OK.
This however was trash with unbelievable baddies obviously picked by a millennial marketing team, poor action scenes and a lousy script.
COBRA (2020)
My head hurts it's so trite and predictable
It uses swearing to try and add drama where there is none. The music score is reminiscent of the 80s and plausibility non-existent. No character has any depth the script is awful and has more signposts than Reading. Not even good enough to call it a drama, more like dropping the bread in the fondue
The Art of War III: Retribution (2009)
if you value your mind you will bypass this
I have watched the other two installments and found them passable if not great, but the third offering is just too much.
Perspective is when you can't turn out anything decent for $10 million!
Wooden, clichéd, cheap effects and no known cast all adds up to time you will never get back.
1. Loving the fact that bullets don't leave holes in anything. 2. Looks like he just pulls his finger against a non-moving trigger in the golf range scene. 3. The fact that a supposedly professional organisation can't Suss out how to listen to a conversation.
My best moment in the film came from the script about 35 mins in after the golf range scene. Personally I thought they were summing up the film in a call between producer and studio!
' and if word of our involvement gets out we will have lost all credibility, and I'm talking deep s**t here. This man may be becoming a liability'
I don't need to add any plot description here as I might write it better than the actual script.
Suffice to say you will struggle to remember the film the next day.
Kill Switch (2008)
tried to find the Kill Switch - had to use the remote instead!
It was sooo bad it didn't even fall into the 'so bad it's good' category.
Jerky camera work interspersed with multiple repetitions gave me a headache in the first scenes, might even need a health warning if you suffer from epilepsy, no joke.
The fight scenes in terms of content are poor, the caricatures - sorry meant characters wooden and one dimensional.
I don't know why gangs and the military need automatic weapons when you can obviously buy automatic pistols that fire hundreds of bullets and you can reload in a millisecond.
Lets put it this way Seagal must have massive pockets and be humungously strong to carry that many mags around.
I was surprised because he has made better films after this so where did this turkey of turkeys come from?
Packed so full of clichés you could probably hand this out at a screenwriters convention as how to avoid mistakes for dummies.
Spartacus: Blood and Sand: Delicate Things (2010)
weak start - strong finish
Spartacus and Batiatus are reveling in their new found wealth and glory, yet Spartacus is not content.
Hearing that his wife Sura is near he fixates on a plan to escape to freedom with her.
Meanwhile the 'fixer' owes Barca a lot of money, and finds a way to wheedle his way out of paying.
Batiatus hears that The young boy he thought Barca killed is alive and the magistrate is awaiting his arrival. Batiatus is aware that if the boy can identify Barca all is lost.
I found the beginning a bit like episode 1 & 2, over graphic novel in style and jumpy, however the second half was as good as the recent episodes, and the ending shows how the series can be continued.
Spartacus: Blood and Sand: Shadow Games (2010)
Another great episode
I said in my last review that I was glad the series was finally going somewhere, and this episode does not disappoint.
Capua is in drought and the town is going mad, so the head honcho decides to hold a games to appease the gods.
Crixus and surprisingly Spartacus are chosen to fight the primus provided by Batiatus' arch enemy Selonius.
The shadow of death is a legend never fallen, never beaten, and only one man has ever lived following a match, Doctore.
Paired together you can feel the intensity between Crixus and Spartacus, and of course they cannot fight together.
This is the first time we see Crixus as doubting and even scared, Spartacus as is his usual self doesn't get it.
Meanwhile Lucretia is examined by the High priestess of Juno's temple about childbearing. She is given a potion and told she must copulate within the hour. Batiatus being away she calls on Crixus, but he advises that sex makes him week for the tournament so she leaves him aware that her chance has disappeared.
Batiatus' men have tracked down a slave dealer who confesses the name of the person who hired him to kill Batiatus. We later see Batiatus in a house surrounded by dead bodies of the family that he has had killed. The merchant to whom he owns a debt confesses the it was Selonius that wanted Batiatus killed. The Syrian kills him and is then ordered to do something far worse.
Back at the games it appears that Crixus and Spartacus have won easily as a team, however everything is not quite so simple.........
The episode deals with love, loss, honour, and an understanding of Crixus and why he hates Spartacus. It also deals with the Roman practice of buying debts and plotting.
It is probably the first time I felt some real character development in the series save the last episode, and it nicely changes your view of some of the character.
The vapid legatus' wife however is just the same as she has always been :)
Line of Duty: A Disastrous Affair (2012)
Not bad - but too fast and too short for true depth.
A young sergeant in counter terrorism reacts to a terrorist threat and orders the shooting of an innocent man. His boss orders everyone to cover up at the inquest but the sergeant refuses to do so and is told by his boss his career is ended.
He doesn't lose his job but moves to a department AC12 which investigates Police corruption.
Switch to a scene of a senior detective who we later find out to be married talking to a girl in a café in a very friendly manner. He spots two muggers attacking a woman with pram and goes to their aid arresting the two suspects.
Turns out he (Lennie James) is copper of the year with a huge crime clear up rate.
Receiving a phone call from the girl in the café (Gina McKee) who is drunk and has hit a dog with her car, he covers it up by faking a break in and theft of the keys.
Turns out his mistress? Hit a man and killed him. He meets her and tells her to come clean but she doesn't.
AC12 uses a minor infraction to start investigating the copper (Lennie James) but quickly expands the remit for 'laddering' or increasing crime clear up figures by adding lots of charges to the cases.
Ds Arnott (Martin Compston) learns of another AC 12 operative inside Gates's team.
Having been really upset about his mistress Jackie not telling the truth and confessing he later turns up at her house and some canuddling takes place.So much for the anger.
Gates's team messes up on surveillance on another case and two men get killed
In a heartbeat we flash to Gates talking to an incredible thick civilian worker explaining they found out who the hit and run victim was, and he is the accountant for Gates's mistress' firm.
He deletes the links on the file whilst DS Arnott is viewing the same case.
It's OK to watch but there are many things wrong with it.
Too many sub-plots Things are skipped over Zero character depth apart from maybe DS Gates (Lennie James). Far too many stereotypes
If the intention is that we root for AC12 then it fails - personally I found DS Gates to be exactly the type of copper you might want, because even if he does 'ladder' as sanctioned by his boss, he seems to get the job done within the law. As a human being he obviously lacks due to the mistress angle, however the first episode portrays his choice to delete the files as difficult.
If he was a totally bent copper he would not have hesitated.
At this stage the only character with any viewer engagement has to be Lennie James as DS Gates
pston
Lie to Me: The Whole Truth (2010)
Good, more comedy and an ex wife add to the banter
This is one of those comedic ones
Ex wife is defending a gold digging younger wife accused of murdering her elder husband.
Lightman is on the other side and taking the mickey out of proceedings, but does sometimes go a bit far acting like a cross between Rain man and a drunk.
Having flagrantly disobeyed any laws and flouted any rules he talks to the accused and believes she isn't guilty so switches sides.
Jennifer Beales and Tim Roth work well together with some snappy banter, and she looks pretty damn hot.
Turns out the widow might not be snowy white however.
If this were real I would expect the Judge to go ballistic, however light entertainment allows licence here.
There is a nice twist at the end.
The Walking Dead: Pretty Much Dead Already (2011)
excellent - the best yet
I think this might be the only review I have given 10/10
Having enjoyed series 1 I launched into series 2 with gusto
After the first episode I hoped it would be better, and the second episode was. When Sophia was lost and then Karl was shot it was getting better but I had felt the last 4 episodes were losing their shine.
As with many second seasons time is spent on character development, not a bad thing, and it pays off here.
There are emotional push-pull moments and you can see things developing with several possible outcomes dependent on the director's/writer's wishes.
All I will say is look out for a belter of an end, how they will top this I don't know.
Attack the Block (2011)
Well we all enjoyed it
I gave this 8/10 because two adults and one teenage girl enjoyed it and had a great hour and a half.
Does it deserve the righteous indignation that some reviewers show - we believe not.
It does glorify hoodies/thugs a bit, however at no point was any of us expecting a factual documentary so no harm no foul from us.
It can be a little hard to understand the spiel but we managed it OK.
mayhem and Probs the two short arses aged 9.5 and less were hysterical wanting to play with the big gang. The bit where Mayhem has his pal riding around on a scooter ( toy one) as bait is priceless.
The preppie 'posh' boy was also a great character.
In short the gang kills what appears to be a small alien thinking they are cool, but little known to them the alien males are a lot bigger.
There follows an invasion of aliens who seem to be targeting the gang and the girl they mugged earlier, we do find out why later.
Plot holes yes, fun, definitely, the gang member who phones his mum all the time stuck in the commercial waste bin is good too.
It is what it is, Shaun of the Dead, Hot Fuzz style horror comedy and it works well.
If you are expecting a light romp thoroughly enjoyable then this is a must, if you are expecting a high budget special effects moralising film with a deep meaning go watch a Woody Allen film.
Enjoy
There follows an invasion who seem to be targeting the gang, a psychotic gang leader, some awesome
Spartacus: Blood and Sand: The Thing in the Pit (2010)
wondered when it would become focused - episode 4
This is so far my best episode.
As another reviewer commented episodes 1 & 2 wasn't sure whether I could take it, episode 3 started to gel, and in episode 4 I finally feel I am watching the series I expected.
Gone are the unnecessary bosom, nipple and shagging scenes apart from one which would not offend, and in comes a linear story.
The Pits - in episode 1 or 2 Batiatus mentions the slaves going to the mines, I think they changed it to 'the pits'. Anyway, the Pits are where you make a fast buck gambling on the human equivalent of cock fighting.
Loads of blood, less of the stylised 'splash screens' and it felt more of a story although the concept was smaller.
1st episode I have really enjoyed,
Lie to Me: Beat the Devil (2010)
The best one for me so far
This episode is my favourite to date.
We see a young woman escaping at the beginning before being buried.
Cut to uni where an old friend of Dr Lightman has got him to fill in and lecture to some students. Predictably because there is no other way one of the students comes into the scene.
Jason Dohring is great at this, you get a hint at the beginning and he does his expressions/lack of really well. Given this is about micro expressions and the like this is what I have been waiting for.
There is a great line " One should not shag ones students especially not the psychopathic ones" sound advice there :).
Some good moments of interplay between the two protagonists.
Kelli Williams seems to take a back seat a bit in this episode, acting surprisingly nervous when they visit the parents.
Like the way they bring the stotylines from both teams together a bit of creepiness there.
Nearly wet myself when they are in the hospital....' well now you're here...go and bond with Valerie' you'll get it when it happens.
Looks like the psycho is getting the upper hand, some stereotyped classical music then a weird cut to grave digging, is this in the original version?
He does indeednowe the doctor 200 bucks.
There is a level of confidence in the storyline that Jason Bohring is an undiscovered psycopath, and this means it is an episode you want to sit and watch.
Lie to Me: Tractor Man (2009)
Not the most demanding episode
Basically a disgruntled farmer pulls up outside a Government building with a bomb and asks to speak to the President.
Meanwhile there is a group of kids touring the Lightman building.
It starts off quite well with the Dr talking about lying to the kids, and there is a sub- story about a missing turtle which is amusing.
The part about the tractor driver/bomber is OK but uninspiring, and the home situation off kilter.
The other baddie doesn't gel, probably because his facial expressions feel forced.
The kids teacher does OK as a nervous wreck but reaches her life affirming decision a bit quickly and the end result is signposted.
There is nothing wrong with the producers allowing characters to have a relationship that lasts more than one episode. Unfortunately this series does the same and it's usually season 3 before character development is allowed.
One to watch whilst doing the ironing but not the best
Lie to Me: Secret Santa (2009)
Good episode - not one of the best though
The premise of this episode is that Dr Lightman has to travel to Afghanistan to help interrogate a suspect and rescue 2 US Marines.
It's Christmas time and his daughter has a new beau, but there are only token glances at this storyline where they have done it better in the past.
It feels like they shot it is sections, i.e between holidays then glued it together.
It's OK but the addition of the military factor, bunker and kit rings a little untrue. Given that the good Dr has served his weapons handling is chronic and the ending weak.
Probably a departure in the wrong direction
As such is it my lowest rated episode to date
Lie to Me: Fold Equity (2009)
Good fun - some sexual tension
Thought this was fun, but not the most intriguing episode.
A hayseed entry to a poker tournament disappears and the tournament holder calls in the Lightman Foundation.
Turns out he has been banned from Vegas because he took down some high rollers.
There is a fun gambling sub-plot which is amusing and also some purposely stereotyped poker players.
The chemistry between the Dr and Poppy is palpable, and that has a twist to it later which is quite amusing also. Don't trust anyone in Poker.
Some of the game-play tactics the players adopt against each other are fun and it's quite a quick fire episode, so hence the rating 7 out of 10.
Bit confused about the relationship between Tim Roth and Kelli Williams after the 2 previous episodes given what happens here. It may well be explained in series 1 which I missed.
Sub Zero (2005)
its a caricature of a film - unfortunately they were being serious
It's wrong on so many levels.
Cheap filmwork and ripped noff scenes from other movies, you can spot the plots from miles away.
Technically pathetic from a climbing point of view, amateur climbers have better kit and dress sense than these 'pros'.
As a large bloke that does some ice climbing I can tell you there are very few big chaps climbing at this level, most are racing snakes.
The baddies in supposed winter assault gear have white suits black utility belts and black leather gloves - frostbite and visibly duh.
EMP just makes things stop working it doesn't make things spark, and sparks don't come in different colours!
Love the bit where the inept gunman is restrained and after a cheesy one liner the lead walks out into the road carrying an automatic weapon but the Police cruiser just lets him go by!
The Major with dark aviator sunglasses made me think of the 80s or an Airplane spoof movie.
The device was on 'full auto-retaliate' pmsl.
Let me see, when the plane was shot down the cube armed with 72 hours on the clock....then someone told the military, they hunted down the lead, lets say a couple of hours passed, then he phones a guy climbing in the rockies and tells him to get the plane to Washington DC in the morning. Lets say thats at least 20 hour including flight time.....they have a briefing and then fly to Pakistan, get in a chopper and only 22 hours has passed.....I will return to this later.
The lead also manages a lot of beard growth during the flight yet no one else does.
Notice the chopper changes from Pakistan army brown to white when they get off
We climbed Everest in 16.5 hours and without oxygen - c'mon that's treating us like muppets ( I do like the real muppets fyi)
Random selection of ice axes, and yep, he slides on his back ignoring all basic winter climbing techniques. You go on your front and push down on the point laying your body across the shaft. If his crampons had caught he would have somersaulted not forgetting his already dislocated arm.
Oh 4 more hours gone, standing in a white out without face covering and jackets unzipped at the neck.....sorry why was he crawling up a marginal incline with an ice axe on his belly? Mysteriously appearing harnesses, yep the rope is blue but switches to red and back and forth. It has already been pointed out that the crampons disappeared and the doctor diagnoses internal damage through his gear. Loads of people without hats, and YES you do leave them to die if you have to.
Love the way they all disperse in different directions even though the path isn't checked and someone just fell down a hidden crevasse.
2 hours into night time allegedly, shot of some tents, two Russians standing up in a massive tent, also soundproofed. By my calcs they have another 8 hours of darkness leaving them 3 hours. More standy up size tents. Conversation outside, no wind, unzipped jackets, and vertical snowflake or two.
Not bad someone launched a missile and it took about 20 seconds to get into space.
Morning, the injured climber who has been drifting in and out of consciousness wakes up fresh as a daisy and moves around without a wince. Total lack of any protection on the lips, and no noticeable increase in stubble.
They set off without crampons at a casual stroll and no ice axes! Climbimg shots with goggles off, helmets appear and disappear along with changing kit.
The Major gets on a cellphone to talk to the president but seems to use a sat-phone at other times.
OMG a baddie appears in black with no gear save an ice axe - his trousers do change colour, and he ain't wearing climbing boots.his jacket also changes from black to dark navy budget nylon special.
Why are the two climbers in the tent sitting down wearing their rucksacks when one of them is expecting to be airlifted to hospital?
Some wearing harnesses some not, and casually strolling up the spur, and not roped together. Don't see any loops on the axes either. Lead woman's goggles have shrunk, and they aren't wearing crampons again.
Lol quick search for magic cube which is perched on a rock and hadn't been blown off over the last 2+ days. It happens to be across a gap, and as if by magic a bloody great launcher and a whole load of tackle appears to make a 'bridge'. The other end is anchored into snow with invisible screws I assume. If you look behind them the line extends beyond view in both directions.
The Major in the next scene looks like he is wearing a janitors coat with some ribbons stuck on it.
Accident, somehow the lead lady who cant climb up a rope wearing gear manages to unhook herself and climb over the point man who then gives up clinging on after 3 mins and falls to his death. Why didn't he grab the rope....because it disappears from under his nose literally.
Tried to spot the barrel of the gun but failed, and the base jumping scene with a hidden parachute is priceless.
This film should be watched by all prospective film students as a 'how not to' make a film. Not sure how many mistakes in this review but I have spent too much of my life which I will never get back watching it already. Hopefully some of my comments will help you enjoy the film.
Things I did like, some Lowe Alpine and Mountain Hardwear kit which is good gear are the stars.
Lie to Me: Black Friday (2009)
watchable fare - good for it's genre
I saw this in the channels a few weeks ago at the end of season 1 so didn't bother, but found they were running season 2 in the mornings.
Tim Roth is enjoyable and his accent certainly lends colour and interest. Wish I had the teams gifts having seen his teenage daughter explain what it's like having a human lie detector for a Dad. Teenagers beware if we all develop this skill.
There are some similarities in genre to 'The Mentalist' but the humour is different and I probably enjoy this more. Lets see if it becomes as predictable.
Look out for the bit about 15 mins in where they first state the parents are lying as they flash an image of Milli Vanilli. Must have been an kn joke by the producers, if you don't get it look them up.
I did feel the FBI team members were irrelevant in the script and it could have been filmed without.
The Mentalist, Numbers if you like these you will like this.
Rated 6/10 because its not bad but a bit generic. Will review the others as they come
Ching yan (2008)
well worth a watch, tense and emotional
I was surprised at the lowish rating of 6.8 with all of the reviews being complimentary.
I thought it was gritty and realistic throughout, the car chase at the beginning a little over top, and there were some chilling and tense moments.
The linking together full circle was great, and surprisingly there was also some empathy for the main 'baddie'.
Tse's performance near the end was heart wrenching and emotional.
Lets put it this way, I will watch it again, and my family will be watching this tomorrow.
3:30 in the morning as I couldn't stop watching. Awesome
The Hurt Locker (2008)
Poor, inevitable and boring
Like many I expected more from this film. There is a raft of missing information, and a good few continuity errors, in fact at points it was boring enough for me to go looking for predictable errors.
The characters seem to have all the time in the world, or maybe the director thought the audience did. Horribly inaccurate on any level for bomb disposal or weapons work. If the forces actually acted like this then trust me we would have lost ages ago.
What is probably as disappointing as the film is the fact that a generally talented director didn't feel the need to consult properly with those that have served.
Pot boiler for a weekend when it's raining but little else.