Change Your Image
Gabelaire
Reviews
The Mystical Adventures of Billy Owens (2008)
What's that smell????....
Oh, that's right, it's the smell of my brain rotting. I started watching the film with an IQ higher than the average person and somehow during the course of the film managed to lose all my ability to think and/or function right for an entire week. The acting was so horrible, it was like these people had just been randomly picked off the street by the director of the film "Excuse me sir, could you give me just maybe two hours of your time? That's all it'll take, I swear. All you'll have to do is say a few lines and don't worry about putting meaning behind the words, it's highly over-rated and we wouldn't want a half-ways descent film that people would enjoy let alone watch. What's that? Oh, you don't want to look stupid on film? OK, we'll find somebody else who's ten times worse than you are." On top of the dreadful acting, the show just seemed to go on and on and on. It never ended. The first five minutes had me wanting to go and violently hurl myself off the edge of a cliff into a shallow pool of water with jagged rocks at the bottom. I didn't even think it was possible to make me WANT to commit suicide. I didn't think it was possible that this movie could reach the level of "Slipstream" that seemed as if it was just thrown together within a matter of seconds. Well it did. It wasn't quite as bad but if you ever have seen the movie with your own two eyes you'd get the picture. Please, please I beg of you, do not let yourself or far worse your children watch this film, it will come back to haunt you and it's just plain torture to sit through an hour and a half of something this abominable. I have set a warning at the bottom of my review.(Oh and by the way this gets a zero out of ten, if it were possible I would rate it lower)
WARNING, Side affects of watching this movie may include: Insomnia, Nightmares, Hallucinations, Nausea, Vomiting, Severe Internal Hemorrhaging, Brain Decay, Diarrhea, Headaches, and a very possible state of Coma. Not meant to be watched in the presence of children age ten or younger. If such an event occurs call an ambulance immediately but by then it's probably too late. Your child has already been scarred.
The Manchurian Candidate (2004)
It was amazing but the ending ruined it.....
When I first started watching the show, I was riveted by the spectacular performances from Denzel Washington and Liev Schreiber. I had seen both in other movies and as of always, they followed through, proving their superior acting with each second of the show. I was intrigued with the plot of the show and impressed with how it kept you wondering what was going to happen next. As I was watching the movie I was thinking to myself "I don't think it's physically possible to ruin this show within the last twenty minutes of the show." To my unfortunate surprise I spoke too soon. Everything came to a crashing halt when Raymond Shaw failed to step on the red star and that's when I knew that it was all going to end wrong. My brain was screaming out warning signals. "He's going to die!!!!" But instead I ignored what my brain was thinking and continued watching in denial thinking to myself "It's going to be like all movies, where they have the dramatic scene where the main character snaps out of it and stops doing what he's about to do. Quit worrying." Obviously I was wrong. No sooner had I thought this and Raymond was shot and killed. For me that was the reason I rated this show one star. Simply brilliant through and through, but when it came down to it, they massacred the ending and brought all brilliance to a dead (quite literally) stop. If you're a guy, this probably won't affect you(I say probably because there might be some guy who doesn't like it). However if you are a particularly sensitive girl (or guy, but mostly girls) you might not want to watch this film. It's a complete waist of time and it's approximately 2 hours of your life you will never get back. You've been forewarned.
Dollhouse (2009)
Don't Watch It!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
So I started out watching the show and I must admit it was amazing. It may have been a good plot but let me tell you the show would have been nothing without it's quirky comic relief, Topher Brink. Maybe if they had started out without him the show would have had something going for it, but by getting the viewers attached to the character they opened up a whole new can of worms. I knew nothing about what was going to happen and I can't honestly say I watched the entire ending but I really don't want to. The last episode shows Topher going into the building and he looks at the pictures on the wall and then the whole building explodes. I understand they need something big to happen for their last episode, but really???? They needed to kill the best character to do it??? I have one piece of advice for viewers. The show has been cancelled, so please whatever you do, don't watch it! It will only leave you feeling miserable. There is no happy ending.
Slipstream (2005)
Well If You Really Want To Know What I Think....
This movie doesn't even deserve a rating! That's right, it was that horrible. I got ten minutes into the show and I was bored out of my skull, but because of my unfortunate sense of curiosity I thought "Well, maybe it will get better." and continued watching. The problem was, it didn't get better, it got worse! The show had no creativity whatsoever. Three fourths of the time they were having shoot out scenes and using a rotating camera to twirl around while they shot bullets at each other. Not to mention near the middle they had a two part scene. They shot two different scenes that were supposed to be describing what was going to happen next. One was of course supposed to be left out, but instead they put both scenes in the movie and so had two different things happening. I'll be honest, I only rented this off from Netflix because it had Sean Astin. Unfortunately I did not read the reviews, although to be quite honest, even if I had read the reviews there were still people oohhhhing and ahhhhing over it. I think that this show only carries ratings because it drove it's viewers mad. I can't blame them. Sitting in front of a televisions screen for two hours with a movie like that could drive anyone mad, especially when you realize, that's two hours of your life you will never get back. If you have any sense at all, stay far away from Slipstream. Go rent a nice sci-fi movie, it doesn't matter which one, it will be better then Slipstream, guaranteed.