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Reviews
Kung Fu Panda 2 (2011)
Actually better than expected
My partner and I took his teenaged sister and her boyfriend to the cinema, and when she chose Kung Fu Panda 2 the only upside - from my point of view - was that she hadn't chosen Bad Teacher.
The first thing to say is that you do need to have seen the original King Fu Panda, and you need to have paid more attention than I apparently did because I spent the first twenty minutes going "...what?". But, rather unexpectedly, it IS good fun. Shen - the new baddie, voiced by Gary Oldman, is well-developed and pleasantly sinister (particularly considering he's a damn peacock - who'd've thought?), and the back-story that's gradually presented tying him and Po together is surprisingly dark for a kids' film. It sounds like a trivial point, but I also enjoyed the styling of the flash-backs and narrative sequences too. The other Kung Fu warriors have become sidelined slightly which is a shame, but Mr Ping comes into his own and the little sub-plot about Po's adoption is actually rather sweet.
It's not brilliant, but it's engaging and funny in places. Your kids'll enjoy it, and you;ll probably be mildly entertained too.
Pirates of the Caribbean: On Stranger Tides (2011)
I never thought I'd miss Orlando Bloom...
With this one, I think the POTC franchise has finally run out of steam. The Curse of the Black Pearl was a very novel film with some great characters and a lot of humour. Dead Man's Chest and At World's End felt a bit lazy because they didn't introduce much that was new character-wise, but they did at least have half-decent if slightly "caper"-ish plots and - through a few good lines, good delivery and good chemistry - they did manage to be quite funny in a tongue-in-cheek sort of way.
I am not a fan of either Keira Knightley or Orlando Bloom, and before seeing On Stranger Tides I'd have said they didn't contribute a great deal and that the success of the POTC films rested with Johnny Depp. Good grief, I take it back - nondescript as he is, it turns out that Bloom is a useful and necessary straight man to Depp's character. I also discover that I have not been giving Knightley enough credit for the warmth she brought to the films, or the effortless chemistry she conveyed with both Depp and Bloom.
In On Stranger Tides, the absence of Bloom and Knightley is felt from the offset and the effort to wedge Penelope Cruz in there, far from compensating for their loss, simply accentuates the fact that Depp now has no one to bounce off. Honestly she's terrible, and I can't think of many other characters central to the plot line of their film that somehow manage to feel utterly unnecessary. Ian McShane as Blackbeard did about as good a job as could be expected with the pretty flat role and script handed to him, and the same could be said of Richard Griffiths as King George. I don't know, maybe we've just been spoiled by Bill Nighy and Tom Hollander but I don't think any of the new baddies had anything like the same depth and nastiness to them. The writers also apparently decided quite late on that they needed a nice character to lend interest, and grafted on a priest/vicar/generic holy guy who seemed to be there for no reason except to tear his shirt off at dramatic moments and moon over a mermaid (unnecessary as he was, though, he was still less gratuitous than Cruz and Keith Richards - yes, the man's a legend. But he can't act, he doesn't serve any purpose to the plot, and the novelty value's well and truly gone now. Please stop it.) It all just felt very disjointed, and suffered from that peculiar malady that seems to affect many films a the tail-end of a franchise in being at least forty minutes too long.
Look, it's not a terrible film and Johnny Depp is still - just - worth watching as Jack Sparrow, although even he and Geoffrey Rush, by this stage, give the impression that they're getting a bit sick of the whole thing. Just don't go in expecting it to equal the first film or even the second and third, because it doesn't.
Transformers: Dark of the Moon (2011)
If someone offers you free tickets to this one, you're still being ripped off.
The first two Transformers films, while by no means exceptional, were vaguely entertaining and I expected the third to follow in the same vein; you would not think such moderate expectations could be disappointed, but Dark of the Moon managed it. Not since Mickey Blue Eyes have I so genuinely wanted to demand my money back from the cinema.
This film continues for about two hours after you've completely stopped caring what happens, and every time you think it must be nearly over there's another painfully predictable "twist" and an excuse for another twenty minute CGI fight scene indistinguishable from all the others. The storyline is virtually nonexistent - it could have been compressed into about ten minutes. I am not normally a film-geek or bothered by goofs, but the continuity in this one was poor enough to become confusing; Optimus seemed to vary in height between ten feet and skyscraper-tall, and Huntingdon-Whitely's character is apparently able to change her clothes several times in the course of running through war-zones. The funniest aspect of the entire film was the many ways they try - and fail - to disguise how much taller Huntingdon-Whitely is than Labeouf.
Every character in this film is a 2D cliché, from the sleazy traitorous boss to the hard-ass intelligence director who learns to bend the rules. What John Malkovich was thinking when he agreed to go near this, I have no idea. Honestly, honestly - save your money. It's beyond terrible, and I genuinely feel like I've just been robbed. I actually resent the fact that someone has taken money off me in exchange for this absolute, utter, mind-numbing and insulting crap.
The Search for John Gissing (2001)
A really, really odd comedy.
I like The Search for John Gissing, but I suspect that's mainly because I like Alan Rickman - I doubt I'd have found it very interesting otherwise.
Firstly, it's very old-fashioned in many ways - Mike Binder (who wrote, directed and played Matthew Barnes) can throw around corporate buzzwords all he likes, but they don't stop the film being a strange hybrid of the eighties Wall Street yuppie drama and a Carry On film. It's gimmicky too - you quickly get bored of "I'm from Chicago, so...", and the nun thing with Giles Hannigan (played by Owen Teale) is excruciating. The plot is all very far-fetched; if you can't suspend disbelief and ignore this, you really shouldn't watch this film.
It's also very disjointed; for example, it's not clear until the summing-up at the very end that Mary the stripper/nun (played by Sonya Walger) IS actually Gissing's girlfriend. It's not central to the plot, but not knowing sort of niggles at you. Similarly, Dexter the taxi driver seems to go from cynically exploiting the Barneses to being their best friend in between scenes and in the space of ten minutes, and you kind of have to just mentally shrug and go "oh... OK then" to get around it.
Some of the writer's constructs are far too visible for comfort; for example, it's very clear that Gwyneth Moore (played - bizarrely - by Juliet Stevenson, who I can only assume became involved through Rickman) is going through a divorce simply so that Francois Feulliere can mention it and show the audience he's a baddie... it has not the smallest bearing on the story. There's also a Mancunian cousin of Gissing's shipped in for no clear reason other than to let Barnes break into Gissing's house, attack the wrong person and look a little silly. Why this person had to be a cousin, a Northerner, a bit dim and a boxer is unclear - it's a lot of detail to write in for one punch, which is all the character really contributes. This seems to be a common theme though; Johanna Frielduct, the insane German lady, serves no purpose either - which you'd mind less if she was funny. Binder's speech about business being the new war is just plain painful - I advise you to fast- forward it, you're only missing a fairly pithy and oh-so-American bit of slush tacked on to give "depth" to a character who would have been more likable without it.
The ending is pretty unsatisfying too; the audience is being dragged along in a fully-fledged, high-speed "caper" and then is suddenly slammed face-first into a fluffy, tacked-on wall of Gissing getting married, Linda Barnes (Janeane Garofalo) opening a dance school and Dexter getting off with Gwyneth. All in all the film bears distinct signs that Binder had it stewing away in his head for many years before it was made; I got the impression it was all so familiar and obvious in his head he struggled to see the gaps he was leaving for the viewer.
That's the bad stuff, and in fairness there's a lot of it... but here's the good stuff. Janeane Garofalo (Linda Barnes) is very funny, and when you stop and consider how flat her character actually is it's astonishing how entertaining she manages to be. Allan Corduner (Francoise Feulliere) is good too; an excellent depiction of little-man syndrome at work in the corporate world. Juliet Stevenson (Gwyneth Moore) is very good in the straight role - although she hasn't tried to upstage anyone, you have to watch her quite closely to spot how finely tuned her reactions are to the "wacky" happenings going on around her. Sonya Walger is well cast and manages to do a lot with a very two- dimensional part... you just have to ignore the fact that Mary apparently goes from being a stripper when that suits the story to a stage actor and tap-dancer when THAT suits the story.
There IS some good comedy dialogue in amongst the fluff; the conversation about the use of the word "buggered" when Gissing and Barnes first meet in person is memorable, as is Linda Barnes' screaming rant about the definitions of "fine" and "f*cked". Although it was a very clear vehicle to showcase Binder's comic abilities I actually enjoyed the conversation about Gissing peeing on Feulliere's chair; yes, it was predictable and a very common comic device, but that's OK when it's done well as in this example.
Undoubtedly the best aspect of the film, though, is Rickman. Binder pales into insignificance whenever they share the screen, and even Corduner occasionally gives the impression of struggling for your notice in their shared scenes. In fact, the only person who is able to resist being totally outshone is Garofalo... indeed, the two bounce so well off each other it's a shame they didn't have more scenes together.
Surprisingly I found one of the most endearing scenes to be the one in the dance hall during the end credits, in which the entire cast - in costume - is dancing together to "World of a King" by David Mead. It's so intimate, and really gives you the idea that this has been a small pet project worked on for many years by a small group of friends who knew it wasn't world-changing but cared about it deeply. Seen in this light, The Search for John Gissing is instantly more enjoyable and its flaws more forgivable - it's a shame you only see it at the end.
In summary; if you're a fan of Alan Rickman there IS enough here to make The Search for John Gissing enjoyable. If you're not, there's probably not a lot to hold your interest.
Blow Dry (2001)
Great film with laughably misguided marketing.
I've seen this film probably four or five times, and I love it more each time. I sought out Blow Dry because I love Bill Nighy, Alan Rickman and the late, great Natasha Richardson ... but it took me ages to find the DVD because it had these two random American kids on the cover.
I was puzzled because Richardson, Rickman and Nighy had obviously been relegated to sub-plot which seemed incredible, but I watched it anyway. In the event, the marketing became only more baffling. I can only assume that the publicists played on Josh Hartnett and Rachael Leigh Cook for the American market, but in doing so they must have put off an awful lot of people like me - and surely Richardson at least carried plenty of weight in the US? And Nighy and Rickman are hardly unknowns!
Anyway, now that I've found it in spite of the marketing people totally missing the point, I can review it. Blow Dry is whimsical, gentle and funny - and I mean that in the best possible way. It's a British comedy in the best tradition, understated, warm and centred solidly in the very ordinary lives of very ordinary people.
Bill Nighy is predictably surreal and steals every scene he's in, but handles his role as the devious, dastardly but ultimately vulnerable and really quite likable villain of the piece very well. Alan Rickman struggles a little to portray his character's bitterness and hostility at first, but as the character warms up he comes into his own. Given his character's back story it must have been something of a task both for Rickman and for the writers to avoid making him utterly pitiable, but they managed it and Phil comes out the hero, still hurting but beginning to move forward with life in totally non-pathetic fashion.
The screen belongs, though, to Natasha Richardson. The relationship between Shelley, played by Richardson, and Sandra is brilliant; totally convincing but not in any way more of an issue than it should be. There's a brief moment of surprise when you realise they're a couple, but it's written and played so well that you very quickly accept it and it becomes simply part of the story. Richardson's balancing act between pathos and comedy is finely-tuned and very admirable; the fact that she's dying is never forgotten, but neither is it allowed to overshadow the plot or stifle the comedy. For one of the best examples I have ever seen of good, simple writing skilfully delivered, watch Richardson's scene with the doctor in which her character learns she is terminal; it should not be possible to be that sad and yet funny at the same time!
My one complaint with this film is the casting of Josh Hartnett as Phil and Shelley's son, Brian. Rachael Leigh Cook is non-descript and suffers from being on the same screen as Bill Nighy, but at least they just let her be American even if she was a strange choice in the first place. Josh Hartnett, meanwhile, should never have been allowed anywhere near this film, and all the line-cutting in the world (and you get the impression they cut as much as they could get away with) can't prevent him from ruining what should have been some of the finest scenes in the film. The scene about halfway through in which Richardson's character reveals to Phil and Brian that she has cancer and is dying should have been a deeply moving showcase for the talents of Richardson and Rickman, but the viewer is thrown completely out of the moment by Hartnett's utterly appalling trampling of the Yorkshire accent - which, in spite of its awfulness, still seems to have been absorbing enough to prevent him from actually acting at the same time.
Aside from this utterly bewildering casting choice, Blow Dry is a fantastic film - I could rave about it even longer, but your time would be better spent just watching it.
Gun Shy (2000)
Big surprise - genuinely funny
I watched this film purely because I'm a Liam Neeson fan and couldn't resist the opportunity to perv on him in a lead role for an hour and a half. I completely expected the film itself to be total dross, the kind of unmemorable, bland "comedy" I associate (fairly or otherwise) with Sandra Bullock.
Actually I have to say that Bullock felt a bit wedged in; they needed a love interest for Neeson's character, but she didn't need to be a big name - in fact, I think it might have been better if they'd taken on a relative unknown, as it would have saved this actually-quite-good comedy from being billed as a "Sandra Bullock Romantic Comedy", thereby alienating a large proportion of the people who might otherwise have wanted to watch it.
Bullock's character is very bland and does not seem to have required her to wake up at any point during filming - the kind of character film-makers would probably describe as "kooky", but which the rest of us find moderately endearing to start with, edging towards slightly irritating by the end of the film. The only matter of real interest in Bullock's role lay in trying to work out what precisely was supposed to be so "special" about her - her unusual way of meeting Neeson's character could only carry her so far.
Neeson, meanwhile, was far more entertaining. I am biased, but I've seen Neeson play some godawful parts (Clash of the Titans springs to mind) and this was a decent effort. A former golden-boy DEA agent who seeks psychiatric help and gets into group therapy because he's suffering from PTSD and "acute intermittent flatulence" had the potential to get pretty gimmicky, but he balances it well and saves Charles from becoming a mere caricature. I actually think Neeson doesn't get enough credit as a comic actor, and he and Oliver Platt (who comes as a bit of a surprise if the last thing you saw him in was "Beethoven") bounce very well off each other.
There's a few cheap laughs that feel a bit tacked on, like Columbian badass Fidel turning out to be in a relationship with his lisping, one- balled bodyguard, but fortunately the makers have had the sense not to labour these points and they remain just surprising and mildly amusing minor elements against the backdrop of a good cast and a decent comic premise.
Worth seeing, just try to ignore Sandra Bullock as she's nowhere near as central as you'd expect and feels a bit unnecessary. The only comparison that springs to mind in terms of misguided marketing is Blow Dry - an excellent film with a fantastic cast that they tried to market off the back of its two weakest actors and the worst attempt at a Yorkshire accent in history.