luke_bale's Reviews

Babylon 5: The Road Home (2023 Video)

2/10

Dull, with all the rewatchability as the ranger movie

18 August 2023

I admit expectations were high. There is a lot of criticism around the animation though I'm not entirely sure why. For Western style animation it looks pretty good and complaints about face design don't seem entirely fair, they mostly seem to capture the likeness of the real people very well.

The main problem here is they tried to write a story that would encompass all of the main characters rather than try to write an interesting story. Which is why we have this, time hop, multiverse, fan service movie.

The dialogue is bland, each new scene we time hop to is bland, half way through I started scrolling through my phone. I preordered the blu ray, I'm all for supporting this beloved franchise but this will sit on a shelf never to be watched again.

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Something in the Dirt (2022)

3/10

I love what these guys do but...

5 June 2023

This was real bland. I loved the Endless which was also low budget, unknown actors, but that was more plot driven, an engaging premise and a slow reveal pay off which i greatly enjoyed and restored my faith in movie writing. Unfortunately what they attempted here was something more character driven, the interesting premise in the synopsis is just in the background but it's also low budget with unknown actors and incredibly mundane dialogue so focusing on the characters makes it a real chore to get through. Plus it's also 2 hours! My other major complaint is that although most of the scenes are in one room or in a street this film has a million edits, switching between each characters facial reactions or close ups to whole room shots, more often than not the camera is moving for no reason at all, it's not footage that one of them is filming as part of their doc (or maybe it is as it did mention recreations) but either way the camera is constantly moving which wasn't pleasant and really unnecessary given the settings and number of actors on screen. I think they tried something new here but it felt very amateur compared with their other works and is not required viewing if you think it might add to the lore of the other movies. In fact it's adds nothing... to anything...

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Kame wa igai to hayaku oyogu (2005)

3/10

An unfunny comedy

22 November 2020

This film looked to be my kind of thing but so much of it just falls flat. It doesn't go much deeper than an attempt at being a comedy and unfortunately it isn't funny which means there's little left to pick out of it. It's quirky for quirky's sake. There's nothing funny about a dancing hairdresser who appears in one scene to show just how quirky he is. That's the level of comedy throughout. The acting is fine and there's some likeable characters but the story ultimately goes nowhere and is very much a vehicle to move the audience from one 'hilarious' quirky character to another.

Watch instead 'fine totally fine' or ' fuku chan of fukufuku flats' these are much more entertaining third window releases.

I was also unsurprised to see this is the same writer behind Adrift in Tokyo, a highly rated movie which I also found oddly bland and ultimately pointless.

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Dragon (2011)

1/10

Clichéd, over the top disappointment from the man who made Warlords!

8 September 2013

Warning: Spoilers

After seeing Warlords and reading the reviews I was expecting something new and interesting to the Wu xia/martial arts genre.

What I should have expected was the normal clichéd, over the top characters. (Minor spoilers) Killer assumes new identity and tries to live peacefully with his new family, detective cuts off his own empathy using acupuncture. Nothing new, likely or realistic here but the parts are played seriously by the actors and who is ever disappointed by a martial arts movie lacking in an original story line.

Then we have the fight scenes, over the top trash, Donnie Yen makes another guy punch himself in the face so hard his teeth fall out, this probably happened before he flew into the air and attached his feet to the ceiling. Crouching Tiger had wire work but it also managed to have some amazing, realistic fight choreography alongside it. In Wu xia we have the standard rubbish you would see in Hero and House of daggers where wire and other special effects are used to make the unreal look real and failing in the attempt. (Another Spoiler) man has his heart stopped with acupuncture, cuts off his own arm then goes home to have a long boring drawn out fight scene with a fat bald man. Someone gets struck by lightning.

This is exactly what I have come to expect from Chinese cinema of late not to mention the hit and miss (mostly miss) master Donnie Yen. Because I had paid for the movie I kept watching and waiting for it to get better or show the reasoning behind its many shining reviews but of course it proved to be nothing more than something which could have been dreamed up by the 4 yr old character in the movie playing Yen's son. The only positives are the settings and look of the movie, don't waste your money!

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YellowBrickRoad (2010)

10/10

Try it, you might be surprised!

25 May 2013

I totally understand why people may not like this. Its clearly low budget, the effects arn't amazing and it is fairly slow at times, run time says something like 96 minutes but it did feel longer for me.

The reason I gave this a 10 was to A) balance out the ratings and B) because genuinely I loved it so much I felt I had to get a review on here! Unlike others I liked the characters, they were not teenage douchebags. They were funny at times, they kept my attention and I found them believable. In no way did this movie go down clichéd roads, it kept me guessing. Normally with these type of slow building movies the ending disappoints. For me everything was tied up nicely and despite the fact the film felt as though it dragged the ending totally made it worth If you don't expect too much and have the patience for this type of psychological movie then you may just be rewarded with refreshing, original ideas and a great film that Im very happy to own!

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Street Fighter: The Legend of Chun-Li (2009)

10/10

Street fighter

10 July 2009

Im giving it a 10 just to try and balance out all of the awful reviews.

Costumes are not the same as in the game??? (well that worked for the x-men films, wolverine, yellow spandex anyone,and didn't work in the slightestfor the Van Damme version of street fighter, yeah the costumes were true to the game but in real life they are so very wrong) The costumes in the game are slightly ridiculous so to make any attempt of making this a serious film they had to change that.

Bison is wearing a suit, and has a beard (yes cos most druglords wear military outfit despite not actually being in the military, I see why people would care about that???) Some bad wire work, but lets be honest no worse than in a lot of Chinese films and how else were they gonna recreate moves from the game which are ridiculously over the top in the first place. I thought it was a good effort at bringing those into the film. As for the rest of the action their were some pretty damn good strikes and locks as well really impressive flips, rolls and break falling especially when you consider the main character is from smallville, I was really surprised.

Im surprised at how seriously people criticised this film as well as overacting, I have seen so much worse and at least someone is making street fighter movies. Oh and Chris Klein was in American Pie, so what, also shocked at how many people said this was trash compared with the Van Damme film, I don't think their is one decent martial arts technique in that film, Van Damme did none of the good stuff you see in his older films,the costumes were camp, most of the cast were rubbish in their roles, nothing about that film was good...

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Texhnolyze (2003)

4/10

zzzzzzzzz....blink, blink viewer wakes up to credits.

16 August 2006

Warning: Spoilers

I'm very surprised at the high rating I am especially surprised that this many people got through the first 9 episodes. Once the story got going I did get in to it and there is a lot of fantastic imagery and interesting ideas in this series however to me the story was just a convoluted mess of different ideas and plot twists. Before the viewer gets to the story however you have to sit through the first 9 episodes which are so lacking in dialogue and any sort of explanation of who the characters are and there intentions that much caffeine is needed. To prove my point the DVD I have actually has a special episode between eps 9 - 10 which summarises and explains the events in the first 9. After this suddenly the story starts taking on some continuity and a lot more dialogue, great!!! So what was the point in the first 9 episodes were they just time fillers, 1 or 2 eps of random nonsensical character interaction would have been fine. This series will probably appeal to Lain fans as that also had at least 8 episodes of randomness before anything starts to be explained, this series requires a lot of patience and to be honest I really don't think there is much in the way of pay off at the end only for me the relief of not having to sit through another episode.

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Legend of Crystania: The Motion Picture (1995)

8/10

Great fantasy epic!!!

10 August 2006

For fans of Lodoss you may be a little disappointed as this film, although telling the story of Ashrams journey following the end of Lodoss, heroic knight, the story centres around a new set of characters and there is no real reference at all to the events of Lodoss. The animation is different to anything I have seen before and made a nice change to watch something a little different to most other anime, although a little lacking in detail its very distinctive with always a lot of colour in most scenes. Great story with great character designs and interesting plot twists to keep things moving.

The only fault for me was that the running time at 85 minutes is a little short and I think more time to develop a few of the characters and the land they were in would be good as with all fantasy there is usually a lot of history and legends before the story making the world feel a little more real. Whether your a fan of Lodoss or not you don't need to have seen it to enjoy this, if you enjoy fantasy with swords fighting and magic you'll like this.

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Spiral (1998)

7/10

Based on the actual novel sequel to ringu by the original author.

26 April 2006

Although Spiral contradicts many things in the original film ringu it is actually based on the sequel book written by the original author of Ringu. He also worked closely with the director when making Spiral. He actually wrote three books in total but the third hasn't been made into a film probably due to the lack of popularity of spiral. If anything this version/universe of Ringu is more to what the author intended and is not an awful film I thought it had quite a good plot twist at the end, however it isn't wholly satisfying as it does contradict the original to much and takes away most of the horror aspect of Sadako. I think it should be appreciated as it is a well made film and is based on the authors original intentions as a sequel to the Ringu he created in his original novel and not despised as an attempt at a sequel just made up by this director as that isn't the case.

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Bruce Lee in New Guinea (1978)

8/10

Bruce in New Guniea

26 April 2006

A good mixture of traditional old skool kung fu films and a more up to date Bruce Lee style of fighting. Ho Chung Tao shows an impressive array of kicks and strikes and unlike most kung fu films even his friend who travels with him is a very skilled fighter. Opposed to having just one talented actor in the film taking out armies of the dodgiest bad guys ever. There are loads of laugh out loud moments including dialogue and plot but they just add to the film and make the time between fights go easier unlike sitting through a Jackie Chan film which will have half an hour of fantastic stunts and and an hour and a half of awful humour and dodgy plots about being sailors trying to catch pirates (project A). At least this doesn't intend to be funny but ends up being hilarious in all of its low budget glory.

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Final Fantasy VII: Advent Children (2005)

4/10

Monotonous action fest

21 February 2006

I really was pretty disappointed with this film as Square seemed to have once again lost the point. Although I liked spirits within I couldn't help but be disappointed with the obvious differences to the actual series of FF games. The games usually have large intricate plots spanning many hours of game play, which is unfortunately lost with advent children. Although the film looks fantastic the constant monotony of the matrix style action got very boring. All of the characters from the game are bought in but seem to have no plot relevant to them, their just there for the fight which lasts the whole run time of the film. Perhaps I would have been less disappointed if the characters I remembered from the game were still bound by the laws of gravity and couldn't as they now seem to be able to do which is flying up the side of sky scrapers and jumping ridiculous distances from one beam of a building to another. Maybe one day they will get the transfer from game to movie correct but as it stands I'm still waiting for that.

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Revolver (2005)

6/10

Stratham with hair!!!

28 September 2005

There was a lot of pressure to surpass his previous films and within the first three quarters I actually felt that he had made a very dark intelligent movie until.... The first part of the film has many twists which delve deeper into the mystery of the situations which arise around the main character which kept my interest through out. As the end draws near you expect to be given some satisfying answers as an explanation of what has already occurred. Like most good films the viewers patience is rewarded with an explanation or answer to the mystery however this just gets to that point and then drowns in obscurity which doesn't fit the rest of the film. There is also a very questionable scene full of awful computer animation much like kill bill. Kill bill had animation as the film was in the directors words a homage to Japanese cinema and culture and the animation was done properly by the company who bought you ghost in the shell, that said and done why did Guy Richie choose to have an out of place comic book/cg moment half way through the film? I really did enjoy the majority of the movie unfortunately leaving the viewer spending the rest of the day trying to figure out answers not given to explain any of the film is not what I would call a positive attribute. More so a lost in translation between the director (if he knows what is going on) and the viewer.

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Batman Begins (2005)

10/10

Achievement

8 July 2005

To turn a cheesy hero comic into a serious film with serious and dark characters is an incredible achievement not really surprising from the director of Memento and insomnia. Katie Holmes suits the part well however it is a little typical in terms of female heroins in comic book adaptations which is a shame as I am sure she is a very capable actress. Christian Bale as usual plays his part brilliantly bringing his own uniqueness to the character, Equilibrium, American psycho. The fight scenes are badly filmed and unclear but this was done on purpose I feel as the badly choreographed fight scenes from previous batman films which look like they belong more on stage than on screen would not fit this film at all, the batman depicted here who flies in grabs an enemy and is gone within seconds really supports the idea of the character using fear against foes.

The main villains were excellent which is not always the case when trying to adapt comic characters to film but the scarecrow is really very cleverly put to screen. Its a shame that there's not really a lot more room for a sequel without going forward after the whole bat girl and robin thing but perhaps they could squeeze one in before the joker in the initial batman film.

If you like the original more sinister batman films and are a fan of clever comic book adaptations you wont want to miss out on this.

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A Snake of June (2002)

5/10

I cannot think of one so just read the review

7 January 2005

I liked Tetsuo in some aspects for example effects for the budget and the way the film was shot amongst other things but it had no real plot and wasn't really an enjoyable watch.

Snake of June was great to watch as I was happy to see the director of Tetsuo make a film which followed a story line. I was impressed with the way that he revolved the whole film around 3 characters and although there are other actors they tend to appear in the background or as part of the set rather than meaning anything in particular in the story.

There seems to be a message in there I can only find one maybe I'm not sophisticated enough to read between the lines with these sorts of films but as I said I was once again impressed with the way it was filmed the story was to me very original the only problem I had with the film was towards the ending.

The entire film played out some normality each scene followed on making perfect sense no problem then right at the end there are several scenes with two of the main characters and a couple with some police officers which just do not correlate with each other leaving me very confused also some major bruising disappears between scenes as well. I know the film was good but a lot does rest on the ending and confusing the hell out of the audience didn't help with my vote. The other thought I had about this film and Tetsuo was what is the point they don't give any particular strong messages they are certainly not enjoyable to watch not films I would probably bother to watch again. Although Miikes films can be very odd at least they are enjoyable there is humour I can watch his films over and over. And so I end this review much like the end of the film very confused...

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So Close (2002)

1/10

If I could vote less than 1....

3 September 2004

If people are going to vote and comment on films I would appreciate serious comments not people comparing this trash to John Woo or saying how great the effects were are you people really so thick as to think anything with an attractive girl in it is a great film not to mention an attractive girl who can do nothing else but look pretty thus the poor computer effects and stunt double at every action sequence. I didn't expect much from the story line its an action film but I did expect something worth watching in that area especially since the budget must be good judging by all of the computer effects but oh dear god it was awful and the worst part was finding out that you people are telling the rest of the world how good it is...

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The Princess Blade (2001)

8/10

Some very imaginative fight scenes!

24 April 2004

I am quite surprised that this hasn't drawn more attention being one of the better asian films I have seen lately. The advert shows the film to be a mere action film while the fight scenes are certainly not every five minutes through out the film however the story is merely a way of taking you from one fight scene to another. The story is about two characters one of which consists of revenge so nothing new there and the other is about a rebel fighter which if more developed could have been a better main story than that of the simple vengance motive. Although the story does not have much to offer I found that I liked the characters all the same as the standard of acting was pretty high and the settings were always impressive including forest and industrial backgrounds. The fight scenes themselves I found to be very creative compared to alot of films with swords much more creative than kill bill with probably quater of the budget. Most films come down to expectations, if you expect some imaginative fight scenes and a slight story inbetween and some lovely back drops then you shouldn't be dissapointed.

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The Passion of the Christ (2004)

...they know not what they do

10 April 2004

Just watched the film but have chosen not to vote as I am not sure how to judge this film certainly not on entertainment value. I find the whole Jewish issue interesting as the film merley kept to the original text so if Gibson had changed the film then he would be rewriting the bible also without the jewish mob scene the film really would not make much sense. The film was very well made apart from two things which distracted me, the first is that there is no real content to the film Jesus life is told in small fragmented flash backs other than that the entire film revolves around the torture and death of Jesus there really is no more to it than that which leads me to ask what was the point in making the film other than Gibson sitting at home trying to think up the most controversial idea possible which would generate a hell of a lot of money well I dont think he could have come up with anything more controversial than the death of Christ. The second problem of the film is that something like this should not have well known actors as they take away from the roles they are playing through past roles, so why was Monica Belluci in this film. Her top lip is so much bigger than her bottom lip that she looks like she has had botox which does not tie in well with the time of the film that and the fact that everytime I saw her I thought of the matrix, so why use her she really does not fit into this film apart from in a cliched way of having a pretty face as some sort of heroin of the story. I suggest watching it for yourself and not to be distracted by reviews and enjoy the film, perhaps enjoy is not the right word...

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Dawn of the Dead (2004)

1/10

Dawn or Shaun of the dead?

1 April 2004

Warning: Spoilers

I am very worried at how many people rate this so highly, go to school, go to college get an education, get a brain!!! Minor spoilers a girl risks her life to save a dog then the rest of the group risk there lives to save the girl and the dog, a pregnant zombie has a zombie baby need I say more. You know the films where your shouting at the screen what are you doing you fool well this is the ultimate movie to shout at I wasn't sure if I had accidentally walked into Shaun of the dead because I couldn't take it seriously and all you no brainers out there need to get a clue how can you idiots even compare this to the original, I wish they would stop letting 12 year olds write reviews on this site.

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Devilman (1987–1990)

10/10

Well worth watching!

2 February 2004

This is a great introduction to what could have been an excellent series, unfortunately never finished. Animation is a little primitive to todays standards but enjoyable all the same. Great original story as well as great characters. There is a sequel which continues the story but unfortunately that doesn't conclude anything. A sequel was recently made which is just awful and barely follows on from the others with any sense what so ever it also has awful subs and isn't that easy to get hold of (Amon: apocolypse of devilman.)This also doesn't conclude the series but it is definately still worth watching the first 2 parts (demon birth, demon bird.)

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Serial Experiments Lain (1998)

6/10

Strangely rated highly?

15 January 2004

I feel sorry for those who want to criticise this series as they will undoubtedly be placed in the category of not understanding it or not getting it. Although an old idea, not knowing what is reality and what isn't, it is told in a new way which at first kept me interested. Unfortunately this old idea is drawn out for the first 9 or so episodes which is much like watching someone struggle through a dream while the truth that it is merely a dream eludes them. 9 episodes of Neo running through the matrix not knowing that it is not the real world aaahhhh! So this leaves the last few episodes to give an explanation to the viewer and for Lain to uncover whatever truths there are about herself, the computer reality and the real world.

I'll admit it does raise some intelligent, philosophical questions but that does not make the series a masterpiece on it's own. I found the end to be dissapointing and not really as such following on from the previous explanation you receive, but the animation is nice, again that alone doesn't make a masterpiece and so I found the series to be rather pointless. A pointless first 9 episodes which could be cut down, an unsatisfactory ending its as if the creators aimed at making an intelligent series which raises questions which it does but leaves out the interesting plot and any character development. Sorry to compare it to evangelion but the difference is obvious it has what Lain has, questioning, intelligence but also fantastic characters and an interesting storyline which keeps you watching and wanting more. Not awful just not as fantastic as others rate so don't get your hopes up and you wont be dissapointed.

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Gasaraki (1998–1999)

Very different!

15 January 2004

Although it can be confusing to begin with, don't judge after the first few episodes it really is worth watching all the way through as more is revealed. The robots are very primitive mecha for anime making it a more realistic weapon to be used in the situations featured in the film which relate alot to the recent goings on in the east. The series is very political and relies alot on political tactics to move the story froward rather than all action. Aswell as this you also have the history of the Gowa family revealing itself and it's hidden agendas within this political war. All in all very different to anything out at the moment and isn't just another mecha story well worth watching. Also the animation is very good considering it is a series for television.

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Ichi the Killer (2001)

8/10

Disapointing

3 December 2003

What I don't understand is if your trying to convert a manga into live action why try and create a cartoon effect by using computer effects for the violence and gore? Why adapt it at all if your gonna make it look like a cartoon. I felt some of the shock factor was lost due to the bad computer effects. When ever Ichi massacres many people in a room its never shown, which I find odd as this is a film with a very violent nature yet seemed to avoid opportunities to show off the extreme nature of the film. At one point you just see a doorway and computer generated (badly done) blood and bits of meat fly through the door way. The end is a hell of a disapointment as the film builds up to a fight between the ultimate sadist and the ultimate massachist which ends in mere seconds and once again avoiding any real shocking violence. I would reccomend watching at least twice before making up your mind as character development happens rather late in the film and so the first part of the film is like watching an episode half way through a series and not knowing whats going on. Ultimately I think this had alot of potential wasted due to the directer who I'm not much of a fan of after seeing dead or alive 1+2.

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Versus (II) (2000)

8/10

Great fun!

3 December 2003

I had no idea what this film would be about and after watching I'm still not sure. What I am sure of is that this film has everything, really fast fight action, loads of gore, guns and some great characters. The film doesn't take itself to seriously and shouldn't be by the watcher either. It seems to me that alot of the film pays homage to evil dead, braindead and a mixture of other films but is shot in a very original way. The only bad thing I have to say is that the first half of the film is great fun, a little silly but not over the top, and i feel towards the end it kind of tipped over the edge and went to the extreme although still great fun I cant help thinking that the film would actually be so much better if a little more thought went into the last quater of the film as it consists of a large gun which blows holes in things but otherwise watch this film, you wont be dissapointed.

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The Musketeer (2001)

7/10

just read the review

27 August 2003

Somebody said they could have tried adding something new to the story, I have to wonder if that person saw the fight scenes which were very eastern influenced, something new could have been added, the musketeer was pulling moves I've seen in Jacky Chan films when was the last time you saw that in a film. Its not fantastic but It doesn't try to be the best film ever it's going for entertainment value. Alot of people whined about the script and dialogue, this film is a pg and has many childlike attributes the stereotypical hero saves the day and the damzel essentially it is a family film do disney films recite shakespere dialogue? NO thats because making it to complicated would cut out the biggest part of the target audience. Compared to todays standard of films I don't think this is any worse than stuff I find in my local video rental place, great sets, great costumes a mixture of ideas which seems to work well. One problem I would agree with is that at times the fight scenes are not shown off very well at all, parts are to dark and camera angles are not always good but generally it's watchable and you see the best parts. I would recomend this film for the entertainment and enjoyable value of it not bad at all. Another period, martial arts film I would recomend is brotherhood of the wolf, that offers a little more in terms of script but less in terms of swashbuckling.

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Phantoms (1998)

6/10

just read the review

14 July 2003

I'm not going to lie to you this is not a good film but there's just something about these weird small town horror films where strangers don't seem to have a good time. I guess I let some of the worse parts slip as I know modern Western horror films are shall we say lacking eg scream, I know what you did last summer so I knew it was going to be nothing special. I think this is a little different to those as it tries to be something a bit different to the typical slasher films.

Now although it is different it is not original to anyone who has seen the thing, species, Stephen Kings 'It' and probably many other films. I like the whole being stranded in a town with no way to get out and nobody else around, so the first half of the film is fairly ok until around the second half of the film where they have to reveal some unterrifying scares and try and deliver a good end to the film. I hate Ben Afleck but he actually came across less arrogant and less full of his usual self.

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