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kaliban185
Reviews
Spiral: From the Book of Saw (2021)
I wish there was an option for less than one star
Chris Rock is a horrible actor. This movie is terrible in every way. Cliched characters, terrible dialogue, and even worse exposition. I was so excited for this as there was a lot of buzz. But just like another comedic actor who resurrected the Halloween movies, this was terrible.
I implore you that if you have not yet watched this movie, please do not. The more attention, views, streams, a movie like this gets, the more likelihood another will be made.
I still have 122 characters to go in my review so I am not sure what else to say except the police captain was very pretty (albeit a horrible actor as well).
Please avoid at all cost!!!!
Moonfall (2022)
Not even good ironically
Perhaps I am not the target audience for this movie and in full disclosure, I did see it for free as a family member works at the theater. I love a no brainer disaster movie with over top special effects but this by far one of the worst movies I have ever seen. I read another user's review and he/she asked how many other writers, directors did not get their movies made because the money was spent on this piece of garbage? And I wonder the same thing. The acting in this movie is some of the worse ever put on film. The dialogue is ridiculous. I saw at least 3 people leave the theater before the movie was over. My son and I left with 10 minutes left because, well, who cares in the end? We need to make the movie studios accountable for putting out such a terrible product. Please avoid this movie at all costs. Show the movie studios we deserve better.
Paranormal Activity (2007)
Scary but....
Yes this movie is scary and creepy and anyone who says it is not watched the movie with his/her eyes closed. The acting was very good and captured the realistic dialogue that is missing from many horror movies and movies in general (of course with the exception of Tarintino). My only complaint is that the movie spans 20 days. No person in his/her right mind after witnessing all that was captured on video, especially an Ouija board catching on fire to burn a message on it, would ever stay in the house even if the demon would follow. Sure you can explain doors closing and bangs in the middle of the night, but after watching the video and seeing foot steps appear out of nowhere, you do not even go to a church? I would show that video to every priest, rabbi, Buddhist monk, paranormal university professor (well, you get the idea) I could find until somebody would listen. Sure nowadays you can create a very "real" looking fake video with your MAC at home, but I would keep showing it until some listened. I know what you are thinking: If they left the house and went to a church the movie would be pointless. That is a valid point; however, the movie would have been more effective if took place over, say, 5 days before the reality of what was happening took hold. You can fool your mind for 3 to 5 days, but after 20? After seeing all that on video? I personally would be freaking the out. I do not care how nice your girlfriends breast are, any guy would be out of there. At least take her to a hospital to look at the bite mark. It the Blair Witch, they could not escape the woods. Katie doesn't even call her parents. Anyway, it was entertaining and I enjoyed it. Try not to see this movie with a young crowd (i.e. late Friday or Saturday night). Most of the audience members in my viewing were teenagers and they totally took me out of the film by talking, yelling, trying to scare their friends, and just being silly. It is a natural way to deal with fear but it is still annoying. Also, do not see it alone, if you dare
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Exorcist: The Beginning (2004)
Laughable!!!
You know you are in trouble when people in the audience start laughing during a HORROR film.
This movie is horrible. It is full of clichés and horrible acting. Nobody is really afraid in the film despite all the horrible things that are happening. A boy gets torn apart by wild, over-sized, strange, possessed hyenas and no one seems to be bothered by it. Of course there are several moments when unexpected winds blow open shutters.
Mr./ Father Merrin does not seem to be afraid of anything. He goes into scary, dark, crow infested, hidden, demonic, churches at night time. He digs up graves during the middle of the night despite hyenas circling him. Then, after a movie filled with super natural events, he finally becomes SUPER priest.
It is a shame that his movie is so bad. I want to cry.