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Reviews
Tuttle Twins (2021)
A wonderful educational show.
WHERE. THIS. HAS. BEEN. MY. WHOLE. LIFE?!?
This show is one of the biggest wonders of the 2020s, it teaches stuff such as politics, economics and values in a way everyone can understand especially the children which matters most as young minds are the ones need "Knowledge Juice" the most. The humor of the show is absolutely in point and blends perfectly with the theme of each episode.
All the main characters are relatable and wholesome in its own way, the twins who are young and thirsty for knowledge and valuable lessons, the grandma who is a free thinker that cares about her grandchild and wants them to know the path to success and good will, and of course the raccoon who is one the funniest characters of entertainment ever.
Hope this show can grow more, or even air in public TV so even more minds can nurture on this wholesome piece of media.
Rapsittie Street Kids: Believe in Santa (2002)
Perfect movie if you hate Christmas and want to make it worse.
Honestly, I have no idea what happened here, this has to be the animated movie with the worst animation I have ever seen, and isn't even close. Seriously, Foodfight and The Little Cars? Visual masterpieces in comparison.
A semi decent plot could have award at least a 2/10, but is horrible on all aspects and maybe even more sinful than the animation (yikes) terrible dialogue, characters are devoid of anything, awful pacing, I wanna know where the HALF A MILLION dollars went, because to this proyect certainty weren't.
To summarize, this is easily the WORST Christmas movie I have ever seen, and among my bottom 5 movies overall. Is just that bad.
The Cuphead Show! (2022)
A somewhat enjoyable yet shameless cash grab
What was advertised as a show based on one of the most popular games of recent times, is no more than a shameless attempt to earn money from the fans of Cuphead, while isn't inherently bad, the show has a lot of filler episodes, whose purposes was clearly to give an spot to every single character even if feels forced or out of place.
Season 1 is forgivable as no one is expecting the series to be powerful that early, but Season 2 is basically a hot pot of filler that can get boring after a couple episodes. Season 3 while improves, still has the same mistakes as the previous two.
To summarize, if you love Cuphead, you will enjoy the references to the game, but besides that, is a painfully average show that I wouldn't recommend to non-fans.
Barnyard (2006)
A truly skim movie, 2% plot, 98% filler
Oh boy, even though I didn't had expectations for this movie, I sure got disappointed by the sheer amount of filler there is on this movie, 90% of this movie can be defined as a bunch of barn animals having a party, no plot, no development, just joke after joke, dance scene after dance scene for entire minutes. I'm not joking when I say that for 40 minutes around the middle ABSOLUTELY NOTHING HAPPENS. That's almost half of a movie you can simply skip without the fear of missing anything.
To summarize this is a movie that sure exists and you should avoid as is a complete waste of time that not even kids will enjoy.
The Simpsons Movie (2007)
Not your typical Simpsons episode... on a... way...
For being at one point was one of the greatest shows in TV (if not the greatest) to no one's surprise it got a movie, a bit late but did get one.
For starters let's remember that one of The Simpsons' biggest trait is that basically has a character with potential for an arc for basically everything you can imagine. Which raises the question. On what's basically the perfect opportunity to bair nostalgia and develop secondary characters to make them memorable. Why the movie focuses exclusively on The Simpsons and new and bland characters would only appear as scarce cameos afterward? Doesn't the series already had perfect candidates for the villain, comic relief, etc.
Honestly, the only thing makes this movie feel like The Simpsons, is the fact that, well, the focus is on the Simpsons.
But on the flip side, this movie has absolute peak humor. And that carries it all the way to 7/10.
The Croods: A New Age (2020)
Fun for all the family
Most of DreamWorks' sequels are superior to the original, and The Croods ain't an exception. This installment turned what used to be an average and basic family targeted movie into a comedy and action packed flim that can be enjoyed by all ages.
This movie knows no one will ever take it seriously, and responds to that with top tier humor, creative and clever gags and a dialogue is packed with funny jokes.
While most comedies tend to have some of their jokes missed; this is not the case here as all the jokes land right in the moment.
This is a movie you definitely should consider when looking for something to watch in family on a weekend.
The Loud House (2021)
11 siblings doesn't account for 90 minutes
While this film is acceptable, it has the mayor issue of dragging too much the plot on a hope to reach the 90 minute threshold, which results on having quite boring moments which lack of proper dialogue to back it up.
The newly introduced characters are terribly bland (even more than the Loud family itself) with evident one dimensional behavior, specially the villain who is also an insultingly predictable and pathetic twist villain.
The movie falls into the common mistake of being way too basic as an attempt to appeal to children and feels like a long episode that would have worked a lot better as a 2-part special. Because the story can easily be told in just 22 minutes.
Something could have saved it would be the charming humor of The Loud House, but sadly it isn't represent and instead we got some basic humor.
Overall, just your typical flawed movie based on a cartoon that hardly has lore to build a movie around.
Nimona (2023)
A refreshing flim for a day with the family
This is an excellent movie has all it requieres to be an excellent movie for families, funny, daring and with an atmosphere anyone would love.
All characters in the movie are charming in their own way, and with a dialogue is incredible and fitting for the ambient, while their personalities and history make a plot shines by its sentimental value.
The animation is just astonishingly good, it brings 2D animation to a whole new level that I doubt will be matched agian anytime soon
The humor is top tier and unmatched, very few movies can even brag having a humor THIS good. While Nimona being easily one of the funniest characters ever made in the world of entertainment.
Overall this is one of the best movies of 2023. If you like movies are funny but will also leave a dent in your memory and soul, this is a must watch.
Foodfight! (2012)
Don't watch while eating food, It will make you vomit
This has to be one of the most horrendous movies ever made in history, most people that say is terrible only point at the awful animation, that's probably because they didn't watch it (lucky ones) but the reality is that is much worse than that.
The plot is just a complete nonsense is basically impossible to follow-up, the pace is just astonishingly poor, the animation is just horrible, vomitive and unwatchable, for 2012 looked horrible, even for the 2000s standards (intended launch) was just terrible. There is just nothing of value on this waste of time. If for some reason you planned to watch it. DON'T DO IT.
Stop placing this "movie" on the same level as Emoji Movie and Norm of the North, trust me when I say this is a lot worse, place this in the same level as Dragon Ball Evolution and Video Brinquedo movies.
Alpha and Omega (2010)
Eeeh, good enough...
This movie is the most ok a movie can possibly be, is just average on everything (maybe is below average in some aspects)
The plot is very cliche and predictable, but has certain charming and somewhat memorable moments. It has an ok animation, nothing to celebrate (or critique) there. The humor is what would you expect on a children oriented product, just plain and safe. It works the first watch and never again. While is appropriate for all ages, it must be noticed that some jokes may not be what it seems at first glance.
If you watch movies for the story and world they can portray, this is a 100% skippable movie, but if you only want to take a break from a long evening, you should consider watching it.
Joshua and the Promised Land (2003)
Noo! NOOOOOOOOO!!!
This is one of the most horrific movies ever made, is a complete failure on all aspects imaginable besides humor and possibly plot. The animation is vomitive and very hard to withstand, it has possibly the WORST voice acting of all time, and it's lackluster plot only worsens said issue (It has 2 or 3 lines are at most ironically funny, but that's it)
This is something you should absolutely avoid as the scarce ironically hilarious moments aren't worth the pain of watching this at the slightest. Not even being an adaption of a biblic story justifies it being played in schools or churches.
Just watch the reanimated version directed by Saberspark, that one is worth your time (and mental health)
2/10 just because of the meme line.
Dragonball Evolution (2009)
The sin convinced Zamasu to end humanity.
What in the world is this blasphemy not against anime or entertainment but to life in general? This is a crime against the people.
If you are a fan of the series, STAY AWAY from this disrespect to the original content. This was pretty much made by people knew NOTHING about the anime, let alone the manga. (Ok they knew the names, that's it) and to make things worse, even if we don't care about how embraces Dragon Ball, is still a boring and ridiculous nonsense. Sorry for using too many adjectives but this movie is so forgettable I barely remember anything about it.
To summarize, DO NOT WATCH, and not exceptions, I can ensure you, you'll have a better life without watching this attempt of a movie. Lucky I can't give a 0/10, because it absolutely deserves such horrendous rating.
The Secret Life of Pets 2 (2019)
The perfect movie to make you sleep
What was even the plan with this movie? It barely accomplishes what is looking to do, let alone something would save it from being painfully boring.
The plot, or I should rather say PLOTS are the definition of boredom and emptiness. There is just nothing interesting on these. None actually feels like the main plot of the movie. And all are about the same length and how they divert and later converge is on a pathetically forced way.
The plot is involved the MAIN character is just empty and devoid of any content of all, is painfully boring even compared to the rest of the movie. Other one is straight pointless and made simply to justify a plot-convenience that would feel less obnoxious and a bit hilarious if left unpatched. The last one, is the least horrendous and the only part I would unironically say it actually matters.
To summarize, unless you are below the age of 5, DO NOT WATCH this movie if you look to kill your boredom. It will only make it a lot worse.
The Lego Movie (2014)
Everything is Awesome about this movie
This is one of the greatest animated films of history, so the fact it didn't even get nominated for "Best Animated Picture" award is just an insult to cinema.
This is a must watch if you enjoy animation, everything this movie attempts to do is done on an excellent way, from providing a deep message, showcasing top-tier animation or just being hilarious.
I rarely bat an eye to animation because most of the time is pointless, but this is an special case as it was made on a way EVERY SINGLE FRAME can be replicated with LEGO. That's just impressive.
While this is sometimes an ad for LEGO. It never forgets is a comedy movie (unlike a certain movie of 2017) And what if it has Batman just because LEGO Batman is a thing? He is a well developed character and fits the plot really good.
Overall this is one of the best movies ever made and if you haven't watched it, you have no idea what are you missing.
The Super Mario Bros. Movie (2023)
Yahoo! It's a great movie.
This movie is really good, really surprising for Illumination I know, good thing Nintendo was actually having the control this time.
The references where on line and cohesive with the plot, that while simple, is actually fitting for Mario, remember, this is NOT Zelda. Is a simple game franchise for simple people. The humor was stellar, even better than most Illumination movies, despite being their strong part most of the time. The animation is just really good to be overlooked. But the songs used were quite questionable, especially considering the Mario franchise has a lot of good music.
Overall a really solid adaptation of the franchise and one of the best movies of Illumination, if not the best.
Battle for Dream Island (2010)
I love this show!
This is honestly one of the best animated series I have ever seen, has really good jokes, and besides Season 1, has a really well written plot that will get hooked into the series and even get a teardrop out of you.
Is true that sometimes an uncalled elimination can change how the plot goes for the bad or just stripping a good character out of it (Like Match or Taco) but that doesn't mean is bad.
If you havent watched this, you have no idea of what are you missing, truly recommendable for all ages.
I really hope the series can keep going because the latest season, The Power of Two looks to have a great potential.
Minions: The Rise of Gru (2022)
What Minions should have been.
This is how you make a proper spin-off/prequel of Despicable Me, but still not very good, mostly for still being too centered in the comic relief element.
Unlike Minions, this movie has some parts focused on Gru as a young kid, and as well references from the main saga, something we really wanted and expected from the original Minions movie.
The plot is very cliche and depends a lot on the stupidity of the minions to work properly, something makes it feels really incomplete and rushed, has a bunch of plot holes and plot conveniences.
The new characters are stereotypical people from the 70s but is done in way is actually good and a neat nostalgia call, unlike whatever was Baltazar Brat from Despicable Me 3.
If you havent watched the original Minions movie, don't waste your time on such irrelevant and unnecessary flim and go straight to the true prequel of Despicable Me which is Minions: Rise of Gru.
The Lego Batman Movie (2017)
Very recommendable flim.
There are two things I love from movies, good character development and good humor, this movie has both. This movie portrays a problem a lot of people face nowadays as loneliness in a way is highly enjoyable and can get really deep and touching at the right times. The way Batman hides and denies the fact he FEELS alone and needed company besides Alfred under a figurative and literal mask felt authentic.
And yes, I said feeling alone, because there is a big difference between being alone and feeling alone, some people just prefer to be alone and is ok.
Characters like Robin, The Joker are enjoyable to watch and add a lot to the plot.
The visuals are awesome, just as expected from these LEGO masterpieces.
Norm of the North (2016)
Not as bad critic wants you to think
This movie while isn't good, is far from terrible, it just suffer from being somewhat mediocre and simply being the main target of the people hate things simply because of trends, or i would say norms.
The plot isn't bad unlike most people say, just a bit too complex and messy but far from being wasted potential. Much better than that boring, slow and full of filler that is Happy Feet. Same structure but by going the surrealistic way, manages to have a more complete plot with more interesting scenes.
The characters aren't bad, some of them are quite charming and have a well built story outside the main plot, except for the lemmings, they are as bad as the Minions (and I depise them ever since they got their own movie)
The humor is definitely is weakest point, blame the pee jokes and the mainly bland humor for that. But isn't actually that bad, there are definitely some scenes will get you a laugh. The twerking scenes aren't that bad and actually justified, unlike others. (One of them delivered a nice punchline)
The animation is just acceptable, people have saying there are some animation mistakes but I just didn't notice them, so no minus points.
Don't think a bad critic score means you won't enjoy it. If you have the chance you should give a try, anyway there is always the ridiculous reviews to laugh at in case you didnt like it at the end. The only one actually knows what do you like is you.
Bee Movie (2007)
Is funny, and is the only good thing it has.
WARNING: I may use bee puns on this review.
This movie is the perfect example of "is so bad is good" the plot is ridiculous and the more you look into it the more disturbing it beecomes.
They clearly only focused on it beeing hilarious, and that's good, sometimes we only need to fetch a good laugher, in a more general look that just can't justify a good rating, is possible to be hilarious and present a good plot and character writing simultaneously, and there are lot of examples of that like Lilo and Stitch or Rango, which are far more recomendable than this.
Under that point of view, this is very similar to Minions where the main character of the movie is also the comic relief of it. But at least Barry B. Benson isn't completely absurd and annoying.
This is a movie you can't miss out if you look to have fun, but this is the only situation where this movie is recommendable, has nothing good to offer beesides comedy.
Lightyear (2022)
To the mediocrity and beyond.
You may expect an epic nostalgia travel but this film is absolutely nothing like that, is disappointing in the form of a 90 minute movie.
When Sox isn't on screen, is very boring and the story progresses in a really slow way, is basically plan A, fail, argue, plan B, fail and so on. You can really tell they were desperate to make to the 90 minute mark.
Besides Sox, Buzz and maybe Izzy, the characters are really unidimensional and most of the time only work as comic relief, and Sox is the only one actually succeds at that.
The plot twist is the perfect definition of destroying a timeline in seconds, makes zero sense, is very confusing even for an alternate timeline story.
Speaking of broken timelines, this film gives absolutely zero respect to what Toy Story was, the implications this movie presents quite destroy the continuity of the universe of the saga.
Sold as nostalgia, gives no nostalgia.
The Adventures of Sharkboy and Lavagirl 3-D (2005)
Written to be a dream, ended being a nightmare.
Oh boy, this has to be the most boring movie I have ever watched, the plot makes absolutely zero sense, you are more likely to win the lottery than guessing how the plot of this movie will progress, everything is so random and out of place. I get the idea is to feel like a dream, but that doesn't mean it will work, dreams are supposed to be personal experiences based on the life that one has, only the dreamer itself is even able to understand it, let alone import it into a coherent 90 minute production.
The characters while creative, are boring and is really hard to even form a bond with any of them besides Max and Mr. Electricidad.
The visuals could be considered impressive for their time, but aged terribly bad and the color scheme doesn't help, unless you are looking to fall asleep during the movie, and have a fever dream about this movie (which will likely have more sense than the movie itself)
There is an "action" scene but IS the worst action scene I have ever seen and I think nothing will ever top it off.
To summarize, this is what you parents felt when you try to explain them your dreams. So please be a good child and don't drag them into the pits of boredom, there are way better ways to share time with them.
Happy Feet (2006)
Dont let nostalgia fool you.
This is possibly one of the most boring movies I have ever seen, this can be defined as a 10-minute story stretched all the way into the 90 minute mark. The result? And incredibly slow story progression and a painful amount of filler scenes. The plot is extremely inconsistent in an attempt to feel has no filler but fails at that. The problem is that it attempted to be realistic, but that inevitably ended on being like a documentary without a narrator.
The visuals are the only competent thing in the movie, and they look great, but in no universe that can save a movie from being mediocre and forgetable.
The only thing saves this movie from being completely forgotten is the dance performed by the penguins and of course, they are penguins, who doesn't love penguins? Well some people watched this don't love them anymore because the characters are just horrific and disgusting, Mumble, Gloria and that one with a soda can ring are the only tolerable ones. Everyone else is either incredibly boring or annoying to watch.
But hey, it was penguins they are cute that something, well they also failed at that.
The Emoji Movie (2017)
So now we have to pay to see ads today uh?
Really disgusting movie, is only barely acceptable on the first 15 minutes, the remaining 70 minutes can be defined as glorified advertising.
The visuals are perhaps the only acceptable thing about this movie, but who watch a movie expecting those to be good? And if you do then there are countless films do it better.
The story progresses in a painfully slow way and is packed with filler, what else did you expect they? Have to make time for the perpetual advertising, also is very inconsistent and full of plot holes and things just don't make sense.
The characters are annoying and very few aren't worth of hate.
My most sincere condolences to the people paid the ticket price for a 85-minute long ad.
The Prince of Egypt (1998)
Such a Masterpiece!!!
This movie is the definition of perfection, there is just no better representation of the Exodus book than this masterpiece, it makes sure not a single detail from the Bible is left out. The visuals are incredibly well done, you can really feel vibes from Ancient Egypt, the animation is excellent, even compared with the top movies from the 2010s. The characters fell authentic though the entire film, and are really charming. The music used for this movie fits the theme of the movie perfectly and makes it a lot more inmersive than it is.
If an agnostic/atheist person like me enjoyed this art piece to the bone you can tell how good this is.