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Judy (2014)
Damn this was creepy!
I have been a pretty decent fan of Necrostorm for the past couple of years. Adam Chaplin and Taeter City went down as instant favourites due to their entertaining, blood splattering value. Even Hotel Inferno was a lot of fun, despite its resemblance to a video game as opposed to an actual horror movie. Necrostorm has come to mean blood and entertainment for me, so it's fair to say I was more than keen to check out their latest release, Judy. I purchased this movie knowing nothing about it, except it was by Necrostorm and directed by Emanuele De Santi (the same director of Adam Chaplin). All I knew to expect was blood, and lots of it, a trademark from Necrostorm. What I got was something I wasn't expecting at all. I got an actual scary movie.
Judy is a dog. Despite the misleading title, the movie actually focuses more on Judy's owner, Mary, who is being stalked by some deranged and scary street performers. That's about all I'm going to say about this movie. As always, the less you know about a movie the better. So, is this movie any good?
On a cinematography level, this movie looks gorgeous. The production values are top notch and the effects are brilliant. Even the actors look normal, and not mutilated and deformed, as in the usual in Necrostorm flicks. But the makeup and costumes are fantastic. As a standout from the other movies by Necrostorm, blood and gore is used sparingly in this one. They take their time when to show it, but when they do, it's effective. There's still enough blood for this to be considered a 'splatter', however, it's not the focus of the movie. The movie actually focuses on tension and atmosphere. In that sense, this movie is sometimes considered a slow burner. There is constant tension as you are always waiting for something scary or dramatic to happen. And for the first half of the movie, not much pays off. There are many scenes where you expect something to happen, and it never does. This is actually very effective, cos when something finally did happen, it's beyond scary. The ending really is quite terrifying. I was not expecting this from a Necrostorm movie. This movie was scary!
However, this isn't a perfect movie at all. The biggest thing people will notice, is the dubbing. I don't mind dubbing at all, this is an Italian movie after all, however, the voice actors were pretty bad. This didn't bother me too much, because the bad effects of the voice acting helped give this movie more of a surreal tone for me. But I can see many others being too distracted by it to fully allow themselves to be immersed in this. My other complaint, is there is no indication whatsoever why the events in this film took place. On the back of the DVD box are the lines; "Bad things happen to bad people", but this is irrelevant since our protagonist isn't a bad person. We are not spoon fed anything and have to connect the dots ourselves. So when the ending happens, you might be scratching your head and wondering why certain things were possible. But again, this can be overlooked. Sometimes things are scarier when they are not explained.
Despite this lack of explanation, this movie is still very freaky. For me personally, it succeeded in being a decent horror movie. This movie is far from perfect, but it was scary as hell! If anyone liked movies like the Babadook, I highly recommend this one too.
Thankyou for reading.
Elves (1989)
When there is no more room in hell, the elves shall walk the earth.
Yes, yes, I know how you're feeling. I shuddered too, when I heard that 'oh so famous' line from this 1989 trash epic. Elves. That's what we're dealing with. Our evil and vicious antagonists are Elves! Not 'Critters', with their awesomely large grins, not 'Trolls' with their unique special effects, not even 'Gremlins' and they look like cuddly little munchkins half the time. No, no, we're dealing with something much more sinister and evil. Santa's little helpers...
So what's it all about then? Well, it centers around a teen called Kirsten. She's not a fan of Christmas. She hates it so much, she and her girlfriends decide to do some anti Christmas ritual at the beginning of the film. In doing so, Kirsten hurts her hand and starts bleeding all over the place. This is important, apparently her blood has the ability to awaken the Elf. Not 'Elves' by the way, there is no plural here. There is only one Elf, the title of this movie is a lie. But I'd still much rather watch Elves, then the Will Ferrell comedy.
Anyway, our second major protagonist, is good old Santa himself, played by Grizzly Adams. And his beard is only more awesome. It's impossible not to admire his beard. Damn, he could give MacReady a run for his money. I don't know what it is about guys who have beards, but they just seem more manly! More guys should wear more beards.
Pardon me I got side tracked, Haggerty plays an ex cop, turned Santa, who plays the father figure, the protector of our dear little Kirsten. And with such an epic beard like that, we know this is someone who is tough. Someone who is manly, someone who might be able to face the evil Elves... oh, I mean Elf.
Okay, so there is much more to the plot, but I'm gonna zip my lips. The whole fun of Elves, is discovering the drama and shenanigans all on your own. What I can tell you, is things get crazy quickly.
Still haven't convinced you to watch this movie yet? Well, lets see if I can change that. For a movie that's meant to be rated PG13, it has full frontal nudity, harsh language, crotch stabbings, attempted elf rape, and a horny Santa Claus.
All that said, this is some low budget B grade stuff. The acting is woeful (apart from Haggerty's), the plot makes no sense (because it doesn't), and the Elf is ridiculous. His mouth is forever open, you can almost picture it drooling.
This is one of those, 'so bad, it's wonderful' movies. Highly recommended for some high quality entertainment.
La comtesse perverse (1975)
Jess Franco Takes on The Most Dangerous Game
Have you read the Most Dangerous Game, also known as The Hounds of Zaroff? It's a short story by Richard Connell that came out in the 1920s. Even if you haven't read it, no doubt you know the story, there have been countless adaptations and movies based on the same idea. People trapped on an island, and being hunted off one by one by some very sick individuals. Sounds like Battle Royale, sounds like The Condemned, even sounds like the recently popular tween flick, The Hunger Games. What can I say, it's a damn good story. But I bet no one has ever seen anything quite like Jess Franco's version of this popular tale. Can you imagine if the fans of The Hunger Games saw this?! It would blow their minds!!! This is the one and only, Countess Perverse.
Countess Perverse follows the story far more closely then the previous mentioned adaptations, our villains are even referred to as Countess and Count Zaroff. The only difference being, Franco adds a certain... flavour.. to the mix, to make this flick quite the tasty treat. And of course, when Franco is involved, we know things are bound to get a little saucy. Actually that's an understatement, think of this as a very...sensual... version of the Most Dangerous Game. Some might even call it sleazy. And it is, I do recall a rape scene that very quickly turns into a consensual encounter. And of course the forever lingering shots directed at female genitalia, oh Franco, you romantic you! For the most part, the entire cast spend most of the movie nude. And with stars such as the always gorgeous Lina Romay, it's quite a sight. Rejoice for the human form and all it's beauty!
To add more beauty to this somewhat erotic movie, we have a gorgeous setting. The island is breathtaking, it's surrounded by beautiful ocean views, menacing rock formations, and interesting architecture for the Mansion that our victims find themselves in. The scenes where our cast walk down the steps in the house, tinted red, is such an interesting and menacing shot, it really stood out for me.
Finally, the music is quite beautiful in parts and also quite tribal in others. Really sets the movie for me. Just gorgeous. I'm coming to appreciate the musical sense in Franco's work. He knows how to tone the scenes.
Final thoughts? Most people probably would dismiss this movie as trash or porn without giving it more of a chance. It's unfortunate because this movie offers so much more than that, and while some scenes might be considered borderline pornographic, the film goes above and beyond those scenes. In a similar vein to Lorna the Exorcist, it's a damn good movie and one I recommend fans or Euro horror. Just be warned that this is an 18 years and over flick. Sorry kiddies, you keep enjoying The Hunger Games.
Criminally Insane (1975)
Who's Hungry?
As horror fans, we're used to seeing and celebrating iconic evil images. Remember that feeling you felt when Regan's head did a 360 for the first time. Or the time Jaws finally popped his head out from the ocean? Well boys and girls, prepare yourselves for something truly terrifying, because I have seen the true face of evil! Never mind the likes of Freddy or Jason, beware of the one and only...Ethel!
I bet you're thinking, "meh, she's just some fat looking chick" but you'll be wrong to underestimate her. She's not just some fat looking chick, she's one CRAZY fat looking chick, and she'll mess you up!...if you interfere with her eating habits....
That's right! Call her fat, call her ugly, insult her to her face and she'll probably not even bat an eye lid, but get between her and her food, and God himself could not save your tortured soul from the grasps of hell she will send you! Ethel will not rest until her stomach is full, and god help us all...she's always hungry!
First of all, gosh I loved this movie! At 61 minutes, it does not overstay its welcome, matter of fact, I felt it was cut a bit too short. But no matter, there is a sequel (plus the Death Nurse movies) that reuses stock footage from it, in case I start to miss it.
Welcome to low budget territory! Now recently I've been watching some very low budget movies. Most of them only being successful if they were funny or gory. Criminally Insane is both. The dialogue is just magnificent. There were multiple times I burst out laughing, because I never expected such a ridiculous exchange. Take the conversation between Ethel and the boy who delivered her groceries straight to her house, for example. He brings her a whole box full of stuff, (remember, Ethel is fat, so she's buying in bulk). She ordered a stack of food, so he asks for $80 which seems reasonable. Ethel responds with "I don't have $80. I only have $4.50". I could go on and on listing some of the brilliant dialogue, I haven't even gotten to Ethel's sister and boyfriend yet!
Speaking of the sister and her boyfriend, I really should mention these guys. Because good lord, were they serious?! Rosalie is Ethel's skinnier sister, and is dating a guy that has no problem cheating on her, forcing her to be a hooker, and slapping her. Doesn't sound like something that's meant to be funny, but seriously, it is. Rosalie doesn't seem to have much problem with any of this. She puts up with it like it's nothing. I think she's got her own issues, but we don't really pay much mind to them. It's Ethel that's the real star of the show. Apart from her size, she's just hypnotic, it's hard not to become entranced in this movie just because of her.
So we've covered the grounds of it being funny, but did I mention it was gory? Cos it's drenched in blood. Red looking paint blood, but blood all the same. Sure, when she's hacking people up with a meat cleaver, it might resemble like she's slapping them with a rolled up newspaper, but it's the thought that counts and it equals to quite a bit of a body count. So much that it becomes a problem for Ethel on how to dispose of the bodies. You're gonna love the answer, I just know it. Stay tuned for the ending.
For a low budget flick that's about a homicidal women who kills when people try to stop her from eating, it's actually very well made and the actress playing Ethel (the late Priscilla Alden) really did a damn good job. As I mentioned earlier, it's hard not to find her performance hypnotic. Not sure how how old Ethel was meant to be in this movie, as she's being cared for by her grandma, but the actress was 36 when this movie was released, and Ethel looks a hell of a lot older then 36. I would have estimated somewhere in her 40s. She looked almost as old as her grandma.
I don't have much else to say about this movie, except to highly recommend it. For a bad movie, it's one of the best, and one I imagine many people enjoying. Just avoid the sequel at all costs.
Orozco el embalsamador (2001)
Powerful Cinema!
An embalmer is a person who temporarily preserves and beautifies a corpse so that it may be ready for a funeral procession. It is a job I don't think I could ever handle. Apart from the natural squeamish reaction to the autopsies and the handling of a dead body, I think I would be overcome with sadness to see what's left of a person with no life left in them. But it is a job that needs to be done, and much respect to those who perform this job with much care and attention.
This documentary shows the everyday life of Froilan Orozco, an embalmer working in the poor areas of Columbia. This area is filled with violence and rubbish, human life is wasted every day. Where poverty is high, there is a general feeling of hopelessness. But despite it all, Orozco worked everyday, and during his lifetime, embalmed more than 50,000 corpses for an exceptionally cheap price. He cared more about the corpses he was preparing then about his own health. Orozco was an exceptional man.
I can't imagine many jumping the gun to watch this movie. It's harsh, it's unflinching, it's depressing. The camera does not shy away from the practise of embalming, it shows it in full detail again and again, all the while, listening to the wisdom's of Orozco as he talks about his job, life and death. Those who struggle with the harsh realities of life will no doubt struggle watching this movie. But, it's a movie which I highly recommend. This film is not exploitative, but it's honest film making. You watch this movie for Orozco. It's his compassion and care for his work that makes this very depressing movie, almost seem beautiful. An old man putting as much care as he can into death, it's really quite touching. No doubt there are many people who cut corners in this type of field. The movie Aftermath shows an extreme example as such. But a man like Orozco really inspires such admiration. He is the reason to watch this documentary. He brings a certain optimism to an incredibly bleak and depressing reality.
It's hard to recommend this to anyone, but it is a flick that I recommend just the same. Cinema doesn't get more powerful than this. A man like Orozco is truly one of a kind. I hope I am treated with as much respect after death as those he cared for.
The Strange Vengeance of Rosalie (1972)
Well this was a treat!
A man named Virgil is driving across the American desert, on his way to a long deserved holiday. He stops to pick up a young and pretty hitchhiker, who says she's been traveling from Chicago to meet up with her grandfather, a man she's never met. Our young little hitchhiker is named Rosalie. She's a teen who comes across as quite simple minded. Not only that, but strange as well. Little Rosalie claims she knows where her granddad lives because she saw it in a dream. Virgil pays no mind to this nonsense and humours her. And being the good Samaritan that he is, goes out of his way to drop off this peculiar stranger to her grandfather's shack, way out in the middle of no where. Now I know what you're thinking, Virgil might not be such a good Samaritan after all. We all know that tale. It is fortunate that Virgil's intentions happen to be pure in this instance, all he wants to do is make his flight to his holiday destination. Rosalie however, has other plans that aren't so pure. Virgil won't be making that flight of his. He won't be leaving that shack ever again.
Sound familiar? I have to say, there is something about crazy chicks keeping males as captive, that I find so interesting. Usually, it's the other way around, guys keeping girls captive, so it's a nice change. Still, this story has been told a few times before. A few years ago, we had The loved Ones, a brutal display of torture and hilarity. Before that, Misery, which I feel Stephen King may have used this for inspiration. Misery had a crazy antagonist that succeeded in being a proper villain to the story. But here we have something far more interesting. I can't say for certain that Rosalie is actually the villain of this story.
Naturally Rosalie isn't a good character, but it's hard to call her a bad character as well. Bonnie Bedelia plays Rosalie and she does such a fantastic job. At times she comes across as crazy, at other times, she is sympathetic, and at other times still, she's beyond annoying and vindictive. Many of her actions come across as calculated, as if she is toying with her victim, promising a doctor, a car pump, and never delivering etc. But Rosalie isn't a malicious character. She isn't out for revenge like Lola, she isn't obsessed with authors, like Annie, she just wants to love someone. Something I imagine we can all relate to. Sure Rosalie's actions are far beyond reprehensible, but at the heart of it, she's just a lonely girl desperately wanting to love someone, and be loved back. It's hard to hate her character, but at the same time, it's hard to completely sympathise as well. Rosalie might just be one of the most complicated characters I have ever seen.
Then we have Virgil, our victim. When Rosalie asserts her dominance and breaks one of Virgils legs (with the back of an ax...cough...Misery...cough), his reaction isn't pleading for mercy to be let free. No, his reaction is to yell at her and belittle her like a child. Rosalie has an ax, but that won't stop Virgil being mean to her. Most of their dialogue is Virgil calling her names and belittling her time and time again. Now Virgil might have some right to be angry since she's keeping him captive and what not, but I started getting confused whether I should have been feeling sorry for him or not, in the same way I wasn't sure if I was siding with Rosalie or not. Ken Howard does a great job at being our helpless and nasty protagonist.
We have one more character in the mixes here, by the name of Fry. If there is a villain in the movie, that would probably be Fry, who doesn't have any shred of sympathy from the audience. He is the pure bad guy that'll hurt both Rosalie and Virgil to get what he wants, which is gold that Rosalie supposedly has hidden away. I like how the dynamic between Rosalie and Virgil always changes whenever Fry is on screen.
This movie runs for almost Two hours, and those three characters are the only actors in the movie. You'd think that would make things boring, but it doesn't. I was actually captivated the whole way through. The way the dialogue changed constantly between Rosalie and Virgil made them a very entertaining pair. Set in the desert, this movie feels isolated, lonely and cut off from life. It creates such an atmosphere to this movie, which I feel is helped more with its incredibly low budget look. This movie was hypnotic to watch.
The ending is bound to divide audiences. I can see people hating the movie or loving it. I'm in the latter camp. To me, the actions of certain characters don't seem out of place, it makes this movie all the more memorable.
If you enjoyed Misery, you'd love this flick too. But where Misery is an effective horror tale, this is an intense drama piece. There is no blood or gore, just fascinating dialogue and imagery. Characters that feel real, who are equally good and bad. All in all, this is just fantastic story telling. A must watch for all.
Fetus (2008)
One for the Gorehounds!
This is a real bloody treat for you. And by bloody I mean bloody! This movie is damn near soaking in the stuff. But that's not all. There's some truly demented and depraved stuff going on in this beauty. If you are easily offended or squeamish, this is not the movie for you.
The plot is pretty simple, a man loses his loving wife during childbirth, along with his newborn baby. He falls into a deep depression and comes to the conclusion that he must bring her back from the dead, by any means necessary.
That's the general scope of it. The story is pretty plain, with relatively plain acting and sound effects to go with it. Also with this being shot on video, it looks so cheap most would probably dismiss it as rubbish before even giving it a chance. They would miss out though. Where this movie succeeds is in the special effects. Those were some astounding effects! Things were so bloody I was getting nauseous. Usually I find blood splatter fun and hilarious, but I was getting grossed out in this one. You gotta admire that reaction. So seldom do people get grossed out anymore with movies. But this is just disgusting. Never mind the gore, you got so many taboos broken it's insane. I don't want to spoil anything, but given the title, you know there's going to be some mistreating of a fetus. But that's not all. There is a truly demented scene towards the end that I will not spoil here, but if it doesn't leave you applauding, I don't know what will.
I'm going go out on a limb and guess many horror fans would not approve of this. But being the gore hound that I am, I found this little gem delightful.
Chaos (2005)
Not too shabby
Yeah I know I'm late to the party on this one. Everyone already saw this rip off, eh I mean remake, of Last House on the Left years ago, but I finally caught up to speed. And I gotta say, kinda surprised at the hate it gets. I mean the rating itself is shocking. 3.1? Really? Woodchipper Massacre was rated higher than this! Shame people, shame!
Essentially, Chaos is just a modern retelling of Last House on the Left. Same story, same set up, even the cops in this one were stupid too. Only difference is what happens to our girls when our band of psychos happen upon them.
It's the brutality that really makes this movie. It's so shocking and in your face, it's really quite an upsetting movie to watch. Where the girls are being harassed, you really feel bad for them, when they scream you really want to help them. Most surprisingly though, it how far the filmmakers go. I suppose they were trying to up the ante. Which is an effort in on itself, as the original Last House has some pretty gruesome and memorable scenes, even by today's standards. But this newer one does actually make a very decent effort to be as offensive and disturbing as it can. It includes two very cringe worthy scenes, which I really don't want to spoil for you here, but trust me when I say I was not expecting such scenes in such a modern movie. They are traumatising. I applaud this. Nothing is G rated, everything is extreme and ugly. That's the way it should be. That's what makes an effective movie.
Connected to that is the effects. Those scenes wouldn't have been nearly as brutal had the effects been dodgy, but instead they were right on the mark. Those were some stellar special effects, well done.
I guess another plus of this movie, is the lead bad guy, Kevin Gage, playing Chaos. Now he's no David Hess, that's for sure, no one can take on the Hess. But, he does pretty much make this movie. He's scary, really scary. Which is ironic because the whole time I was racking my brain trying to remember where I had seen him before. It hit me that he was the friendly lead in Laid to Rest, and I couldn't believe how different he was in that movie and this one. All I know is now, I'd never want to run into this guy. He's one scary brute.
But alas, while this movie is offensive and brutal, it's not all great. The ending really is a mixed basket. I won't discuss it so as to avoid spoilers. What I will say is I appreciate what the filmmakers had in mind, I find that very cool, it's just they could have executed it a bit better, let's face it, the way they went about it was pretty stupid.
I don't have much more to say about this movie, but damn, I just can't get those two scenes out of my head. They were disturbing! Might just be in my top ten of most disturbing scenes I've ever seen. If you've seen this movie, you know exactly what I'm talking about. For that brutality alone, it gets an 8/10 from me.
Shatter Dead (1994)
Not sure if rubbish, or genius...?
A few weeks ago, I came across the flick Shatter Dead, a title that meant virtually nothing to me. Intrigued enough, I figured I'd give it a shot. Little did I know that Shatter Dead was no ordinary movie. What I was about to experience in the next 84 minutes, cannot be described by words. Never have I seen a movie, so terrible, yet so intriguing at the same time. Be warned, the following review is highly uninteresting.
Played on a scratchy VHS tape, ominous music played as the opening credits appeared. From very early on, I was feeling a sense of dread and uncertainty. The title appeared, "Shatter Dead", plain white letters, simplistic and straight forward. Drums started playing as a female voice sung a sweet melody in the background in some foreign language. Sensually and seductively, a white haired lady was making love to a woman doggy-style. The drums kept playing and the voice kept singing. It climaxed in the white haired lady growing large white wings from her back. Then as quickly as it started, it was over as the scene cut to black and I sat there confused by the most bizarre opening scene I have ever seen. What the hell was that?!
The scene cut quickly to 17 months later where the streets were empty as church bells rung, and our main actress, Susan, played by Stark Raven, made her way down the street. As isolated as the streets were first implied, Susan was passing many people who were hurt, bleeding and mutilated. They are all dead, yet alive. Zombies who don't need to feast on brains, but who are homeless and poor. Zombies who need to beg the living for money. As a news reporter states, the freshly dead are unsure what to make of themselves. They are simply there. Of course, not all the zombies are helpless bums, some of them are thieves. No, scratch that, RELIGIOUS thieves! Not sure why they need cars and petrol, it's not like they really do anything with it. Maybe they're zombie hoarders? They gotta do something with their eternity on earth I guess.
Now if any of you are still reading this boring write up, some of you might be wondering, "But what caused this zombie apocalypse of useless zombies?" Well there's a very simple and obvious explanation to that. You see, that angel chick that was doing the other lovely lady at the beginning, well that angered God and now people can't die. See? Makes perfect sense. Of course director Scooter McCrae helps us out by putting that little tidbit on the back of the DVD box just to help us out anyway. So yeah
The more you know.
Anyway, we follow Susan through this post apocalyptic film and see the world through her eyes. That's pretty much it. They don't really make her motives very clear. Why is she wandering around aimlessly? Why does she have a gun? It's not like she can kill anyone anymore. So many questions, so little answers. Don't try to understand this movie, it's a pointless exercise. All you can do this just roll with it.
So what can I tell you about this movie? It's a SOV 90s flick for starters. But don't let that discourage you, it's actually pretty decent. It has a really awesome apocalyptic and depressing tone. The best way I can describe it, is similar in the vein to Leif Jonker's Darkness. Now that's actually quite the compliment. But let me empathise that this movie is no masterpiece. In fact, it's severely flawed. I would even go as far as to call it a word that IMDb won't allow me to use. Despite its excellent concept, the execution sucks, often times it's ridiculous to the point that I have no idea just how serious this movie is supposed to be. I suspect the filmmakers were very serious when they made this movie, yet somehow saw past the atrocious acting, terrible sounding and weird dialogue. I can only conclude that they were all high on something. And when I say atrocious acting, I mean it! Stark Raven has got to be the worst actress I have ever seen! No offense, Miss Raven, seriously, I dug your portrayal but they could have hired a robot with more emotion. She only has one expression. Whether she's cautious, or angry, or happy, or aroused, she still has this same look on her face. The only time it ever changed was during a sex scene. Must have been damn good sex, is all I'm saying.
If you check out the other reviews for this flick, you won't see many good reviews, in fact most people hated it. If you're expecting Dawn of the Dead, you'll hate it too. But if you go in with an open mind, you'll see something truly unique. Horrible acting aside, this low budget SOV has some passion. Certainly there was a message in this about religion. I'm not sure what it was, but the tag line "God hates you!" might have something to do with it.
Even though I might not have understood the interpretations the filmmakers had intended, they still made a damn interesting and creepy movie, with some unintentional humour and out of place jazz music to boot. And on top of that, this movie finally answered the great philosophical question that I believe everyone single one of us have all wondered in some point in our lives. No longer shall we have to wonder how to get it on with a zombie, since the lack of blood flow will prevent an erection. Shatter Dead provided the answer, that I believe shall satisfy all viewers.
So, what the final verdict? From a cinematic standpoint it sucks, but I can't help but really like it. There's just something so terrible yet so fascinating, that can only ever be experienced.
Scum of the Earth (1974)
Grimy As They Come
Scum of the Earth. What a title! I love it when movies are so blunt in their names, so eye catching. You almost want to rent them based on the title alone. Movies like I Spit on Your Grave and Cannibal Holocaust share a similar feeling of disgust when you first hear them. It's enough to blindly rent them, hoping the titles are an indicator on how good the movie is, and simply not false advertisement (cough, Zebub, cough).
Scum of the Earth is not misleading. The title actually sets the tone nicely. Of course there is an alternative title to this flick; Poor White Trash 2. I personally prefer Scum of the Earth, I feel Poor White Trash really doesn't do this movie justice as a title. It's not your average backwoods hillbilly horror movie, this is something far more gritty and disturbing. This is some slimy and uncomfortable cinema. Something that might make you feel the need for a shower afterwards. This is Scum of the Earth.
The plot is fairly basic. Helen and Paul have just gotten married, and are celebrating their honeymoon in a secluded cabin in the peaceful tranquility of a forest somewhere in the south. An unknown assailant brutally murders Paul with an ax, causing his wife to run away, fearful and grief stricken, into the dark forest. She soon bumps into Odis Pickett, a frightful man with a frightful accent, and after some pleading for help, accepts to return with him to his house to use his phone. Back at his home, she meets his wife, Emmy, his daughter, Sarah, and his son, Bo. It soon becomes obvious that Odis has no phone. In fact, the family appear to be living in poverty. Helen doesn't trust him, but its dark outside now, and the killer is still on the loose. She has no choice but to stay with them for the night. And it's going to be a long night.
Scum of the Earth is directed by S.F. Brownrigg, the man who did Don't Look in the Basement. Only, Scum of the Earth is a very different type of movie. A simpler kind. Scum of the earth sets out to show just how disgusting some people in this world can be. It's covered with grit and sleaziness, a real uncomfortable sitting. I was equally repulsed and fascinated all throughout. The award for the most despicable person in the movie goes to Odis, played by Gene Ross whose whole manner just makes you want to cringe. Even on our first meeting of the guy, he comes across as so sleazy, it's unfortunate that our heroine was in such a dire situation she had no choice but to trust him. I think it paints a picture what type of person Odis is, when he introduces his pregnant wife as "the skinny one with the big belly". He is offensive in more ways than one, especially in his treatment to his children and his wife. People like Odis make me sad for humanity.
As memorable as Odis is, there is a female performance that really stood out for me. Surprisingly, it wasn't from our protagonist, Helen, but from Emmy, played by Ann Stafford. I have never wanted to hug a character so badly. Emmy is the type of person that reminds us that there are good people in the world. In a movie filled with scum, Emmy stands out as the bright sunflower. She brings hope that there is good in the world. What a wonderful performance.
This movie does drag in some scenes, and some of the acting was a little over the top (looking at you, Helen). I even remember a scene when a character goes out into the woods when it's meant to be the heart of night, only it's as bright as daylight. But I think my biggest complaint was the score. Wow, was that a misplaced soundtrack. But nonetheless, despite its flaws, this was a good movie. For a low budget B movie, it just oozes with atmosphere. And of course, being a backwoods exploitation flick, you can expect lots of violent scenes, including rape and incest. It's one hell of an underrated gem and one that I highly recommend those who like grind house flicks and backwoods horror. Thanks for reading.
End of the Line (2007)
The stuff of nightmares!
Do you remember what it was like to be a child? Full of innocence and dreams. It was a simpler time back then. A time where we had no responsibilities and our imaginations ran wild. Santa was real, the Easter Bunny was your best friend and monsters on the TV were evil entities that had every capability of killing us in our beds. It's no coincidence many horror fans loved the genre as children as well, because everything felt more real when we were kids. How many of you were afraid that Freddy would actually harm us in our dreams? How many of you were petrified to go to a summer camp, cos Jason was a real entity to you? Let's face it, horror movies are so much scarier when we are children. As we grow, sure the odd movie might still unsettle us, it might give us a jump scare every now and then, but we watch them to be entertained because we seldom get scared by them anymore. How many horror movies truly frighten you as adults? I mean really get under your skin and stay with you for days after? There are very few that can effectively do so. End of the Line, is one of those rare movies.
Okay, so what's it about, you might be wondering? A young nurse boards a train home after work and terrible things happen to her and those around her. I know I know, that wasn't much of a plot, you see, I am reluctant to give you details, this really is a movie best going into blind. I am not trying to sell you on the plot. I actually want you to know as little as possible. Don't look up a trailer, don't even pay mind to the DVD artwork, because it's terrible. The cover made me think of a cheap Descent/Creep knock off and I was deterred from getting right on it. But this movie is nothing like the Descent or Creep. If anything it's more like Martyrs. Yes, this is a powerful movie, and above all frightening. Not only does it have some very heart racing jump scares, but it's disturbing on a more psychological level too. This movie is a massive build up until the end and depending on your interpretation, the ending can be mind blowing. Not only that, but it's wonderful for re watches, you'll pick up on subtle things you missed before, little clues that'll help solidify your experience and make you gain an even bigger appreciation for this amazing flick.
Okay so I'm giving a lot of hype for it, but is this movie perfect? No, the acting isn't always crash hot, it does have some slow scenes and some of the characters are a bit one dimensional, but, it doesn't change the fact that this is a heart stopping story. Within the first two minutes, if you're not feeling a little disturbed then you're a braver person than I am. This movie scared the absolute living day lights out of me. That nostalgic feeling of watching a scary movie as a child came right back and the concern for nightmares was a reality. On top of that, not only is it incredibly entertaining, it's unbelievably gruesome. With some incredible gore scenes and shocking displays of violence and hinted sexual violence, this movie surprisingly pushes the envelope, despite its lack of nudity.
Those who have seen this Canadian horror movie might be weary of its messages, but the beauty of this movie is it has many different interpretations. No matter what your stance is, you're sure to find this movie both insightful, horrifying, and entertaining. That's a fantastic combination. Director Maurice Devereaux did a wonderful job on this to the point where I anxiously look forward to anything else he's done. Apparently he was so dedicated to this movie he put a mortgage on his house so he could fund it and have complete control over it. Well done, Mr Devereaux.
So to wrap this up, if you like atmosphere, tensions, gore and deep messages, this is the movie for you. But for the best effects, watch it alone, at night, in the dark with the volume turned right up. Enjoy for a memorable horror movie experience.
Hotel Inferno (2013)
Bloody Awesome
I was excited to check this out, as I had been a fan of Necrostorms previous entries (Adam Chaplin and Tater City). I finally got my copy in the mail, and wow, it was quite the scene.
We open in a taxi, through the eyes of a man named Zimosa. We will see the entire movie through his eyes, completely first person. We find out that Zimosa is a hit man, and will be working for a mysterious millionaire called Mistrandia. Zimosa is informed he'll be performing a simple job of taking out a couple that are in the hotel room next to his. Couldn't be more simple. But not everything is as it seems and Zimosa is about to have one hell of a night.
I have only seen two other movies told in first person, the Maniac remake and Enter the Void. Both of which I enjoyed. Hotel Inferno was no different, I did very much enjoy this flick. I thought the effects were outstanding, I found it very easy to become immersed in this bloody world. Because it was told in first person, and we see people being blown away, shot up and punched to death, it feels like a violent video game that you can't control. That was a fun experience. I do find pacing can be difficult with a first person movie, but I was never bored with this one.
I was surprised at how creepy and chilling this became. Most of these movies have been bloody fun, whereas because we are so immersed in this one, it's quite freaky and even scary in parts. The atmosphere really paints this out to be a nightmare of a Hotel.
The gore is excellent and excessive, as the usual with a Necrostorm project. At times, it actually looked disturbing realistic, while other times it was just bloody mayhem. Fans of Adam Chaplin and Tater City will dig the gore.
We also have our mutilated villains. There seems to be this reoccurring theme of mutating the bad guys in some way, making them ugly/deformed. It works so well in splatter films, they look so cheesy, I love the effects.
The one thing I did find distracting was Zimosa's voice. Since we never see his face, I couldn't help but think his voice sounded strange. Nevertheless, the actor did an outstanding job, especially for someone we never see. The guy playing Mistrandia though had a perfect voice. I don't know what it is about the English accent, but it works!
I do feel the ending was a little anti-climatic, as our big bad "girl" wasn't as shocking as I thought she would be. But it was memorable enough leading to a very interesting conclusion which I won't spoil here.
Fans of Taeter City and Adam Chaplin will dig this. If you love splatter gore or video games, this is for you.
Ostermontag (1991)
German Pseudo Snuff
Also referred to as "I Spit on Your *beep* Grave Bitch!" and "Snuff Holocaust", I thought, this has got to be something! I mean, other pseudo snuff flicks like August Underground and the Guinea Pig flicks made some massive headlines, so what about this one? I was curious how I hadn't heard of this one until recently. Surely if it's as sick as those alternative titles suggests, it's got to be notorious. Well, we've got a bit of a mixed bag here.
I watched this movie in German with no English subs, so I may have lost a lot of the plot. Before the movie begins, we get a few warnings and messages about the film. All in German of course, but according to google translate, it may cause nausea, not for the faint of heart or underage etc etc. The movie opens with a girl. We don't see her face. But she is tied up, in some lingerie, wearing what looks like a bunny tail, face down on a bed. An unseen assailant speaks to her, I have no idea what he's saying, but given her state, it can't be good. He then starts poking pins into her bum and flogging her. The girl doesn't react much, she seems almost catatonic. Our villain then holds a knife and moves slowly towards her. The screen cuts to static and our credits begin.
From then on, well, the movie goes downhill. From what I can gather, a tall skinny man with a mustache tortures a girl. He is joined by two other tall German guys who all look the same. They proceed to treat this girl (and possibly others) terribly, and torture them. Now, they do brutally torture these girls, it's very disturbing stuff, but the effects are so terrible. The idea behind it is more disturbing then the execution. For the most part, I was getting bored with it. Sure I cringed a little, but I kept thinking "move on!".
Our villains are also really annoying. They don't shut up. Maybe if I understood what they were saying it would have made a difference, but they came off as really lame bullies, rather than sadists.
Finally, this is a really low budget. I mean REALLY cheap. That's not necessarily a bad thing mind you, but here it doesn't work in their favour. Because it's such a serious movie, a lot of the tension is lost when we see some of the effects. That is, until the ending.
Now, despite all that's said, there is something I should mention. Something that almost knocked me out of my seat. About 50 minutes in, the movie just ends. It felt so premature and random, and looking at the remaining time, there was still 14 minutes left. So I kept watching past the credits. Once the credits finish, static appears, and then, we are back to the scene at the beginning, with the bunny girl and the man approaching with the knife. Now THIS scene, is the reason to see this film. It's this scene which I would describe as pseudo snuff. Throughout the movie, we see some terrible effects. But the effects here are not terrible, in fact, they are VERY cringeworthy. I am not going to spoil what happens in this scene, but it made me feel VERY nauseous and even a little faint. This scene is up there as one of the most disturbing I have ever seen. Maybe not the most disturbing, but certainly up there with Marian Dora and Fred Vogel type of stuff. This scene is the reason to watch this movie, that ending will make your jaw drop.
This movie is otherwise terrible, but it is a decent effort. And that ending is some noteworthy cinema. For the ending alone, it gets a 8/10 from me. It's not a long movie, so check it out, just for that ending alone.
Thankyou
I Spit on Your Grave 2 (2013)
Delivers in Spades!
I am a massive fan of revenge themed horror movies. I admired the original I Spit, and adored the remake, so I was more than a little excited for the sequel. High hopes are almost always a bad sign. They can often ruin the movie experience. This was not the case today. Holy Mother of God!!!
As a continual nod to the original and the predecessor, we open with the side profile of our protagonist, where the title feature appears, I Spit On Your Grave 2. Katie is our protagonist. She is not an author like our previous victim, she is an aspiring would-be model. But she needs some professional shots of her to sell her portfolio, and decides to contact some cheap photographers.
Upon ringing them, a thick, Russian sounding accent greets her, and promptly asks her to text him a photo of her before agreeing to meet. This unusual and personal request throws her, especially since he also seems to know her name. She hesitantly does and receives a positive response. Soon after, Katie enters this cheap photography shop, and by cheap I mean CHEAP. There's even a guy sleeping on some boxes to the side. Most people would take one look at this dodgy place and bolt. As Katie looks around, unsure of herself, she is greeted by Georgy, another Russian sounding bloke, who appears friendly, maybe even too friendly, to her. The photographer, Ivan, is the one who spoke to her on the phone, and promptly tells her to get dressed. She does and poses while he snaps her, and for a few minutes seems to be quite relaxed. That is until Ivan tell her to lose the dress completely. Katie decides enough is enough and leaves as quickly as she can.
Well, being that this is a sequel to I Spit, we know things will get bad. And boy do they. Katie hears a knock on her door and finds Georgy standing right outside with the photos to give her from the shoot. Perhaps more than a little freaked out that this man knew where she lived, she closes the door as quickly as she can, and bolts it. Unfortunately, that doesn't stop Georgy from getting into her apartment and watching her while she sleeps. When she wakes up and sees him, things escalate VERY quickly. In a brutal and horrific rape scene that can be compared to the one in Irreversible, we see that this movie really wants to stand out from the remake and the original. And I gotta admit it does a damn fine job. This movie is intense on every level, and the pain has only just began.
As a rape and revenge movie, this movie delivers in spades. With at least two graphic rape scenes, as well as horrible abuse and torture, the first half is not easy viewing in the slightest. You'll feel sick and disturbed, but that's a good thing. The more we see Katie suffer, the more intense her revenge will be. And yes, her vengeance is cruel in every sense. It takes things up a notch and will have you both sick to your stomach, and cringing in your seat. While I won't spoil anything here, what I will say is castration, is actually NOT the worst thing you can do to a man. I do believe Katie found something even more cringeworthy, more cruel and painful. Good luck watching this scene, fellas, you'll need it. Yes, the revenge scenes totally made the first half worth it. I do enjoy the creativity that went behind them. It'll get a nice conversation going, about what could be the worst thing you could do to another human being. Stay tuned to see what Katie has in store. I guarantee some jaws dropping.
As for everything else, this movie is pretty mediocre. Apart from being a rape and revenge film, it really has nothing to do with the first one. The acting isn't anything special and there are so many plot devices that really don't make sense. But being the movie it is, that's perfectly okay. The original I Spit was a grindhouse movie, which promised rape and revenge. Likewise the remake and sequel have followed lead. This is a rape and revenge film, and that is exactly what you get. If you want pain, gore and gruesome revenge, you have come to the right place. If you thought I Spit was extreme, trust me, you haven't seen anything yet. See this movie! And enjoy.
The Seasoning House (2012)
This is very hard to watch
I have wanted to watch this movie for a very long time now. Recently released, it was far more intense then I was expecting. My God this is a tough one to watch.
Set during the Balkan wars, we open in a dusty and dirty house. There are women everywhere, crying and bruised while big men shuffle them around. We know what's going on. The frightened and vacant looks on the girls tells us exactly what this place is. These are not women, but slaves, and this dusty and dirty house is their living hell. But this house has many secrets, and a mute slave called Angel knows them all. It's only a matter of time before this mute girl can no longer stay silent...
I love revenge films. They give me a sense of satisfaction as the victim always comes out on top. But this movie was very hard to enjoy. From the very beginning, the tone is set for this to be an emotional roller coaster. Knowing this stuff happens only makes it hit home that much harder. I hate rapists! I despise anyone that would inflict such cruelty onto another. This movie does not shy away from how disgusting rape really is. Even going so far as to show a girl with a broken pelvis, it's enough to make you sick to your stomach. I have watched a lot of disturbing movies and I still struggle with content such as this. This movie takes things to a whole new level. You'll be disturbed for sure.
Not only is the content disturbing, but the special effects are too. The Fx is surprisingly graphic and explicit, you'll be cringing and startled at the sight of the blood gushing. Of course when the tables turn, it becomes a lot more satisfying to watch, but no more easier. These effects looked as real as they can be. I applaud the film makers, this is some extreme looking gore. Trust me, there will be blood. And lots of it.
The acting is phenomenal. Rosie Day as the silent Angel, makes this movie. While not uttering a single line, she conveys so much emotion it's hard not to admire her. Sean Pertwee is excellent as the villain. Seeping with anger and sadism he's a guy you love to hate. Kevin Howarth is also excellent as the owner of the forced prostitution house. I found myself unsure of his motivations throughout the movie. The man was very clever at appearing sympathetic while at the same time reeking of disgust and cruelty. Finally a shout out for Anna Walton, who played my favourite character of the movie. I won't spoil her scenes, but the things her character goes through is beyond tragic and heart breaking. What a performance!
This movie reminds me of so many other revenge movies. I Spit comes to mind, due to the relentless rape, and Thriller and Cruel Picture, due to the similar use of heroin on the sex slaves. It even seems similar to Eden Lake in a couple of ways, number one of which being the tone. This movie is dark and brutal. Intense and heart wrenching. But for a directorial debut, fantastic on so many levels. While it was hard to enjoy this movie, it was none the less a brilliant experience. Perhaps not one I'll ever watch again, but one I was grateful to have seen.
Please see this movie. It's is hard to watch and incredibly disturbing, but it's movies like these that need to be seen.
Thankyou for reading.
Reise nach Agatis (2010)
Contrast between disturbing and beautiful
Marian Dora is a name fast becoming one of the most controversial in extreme horror history. With his two previous movies, Cannibal and Melancholie der Engel catching some major attention, I was interested to see what he would come up with next.
Now I watched this movie without subs so bare with me. We open with a pretty lady walking around a summery area, and shortly after that same pretty lady is stark naked and running for her life! We don't see why she is so terrified, but the blood and scratches on her body, combined with her panic looks as she strains to run as fast as she can, indicates that someone is chasing her. She makes it to the beach, but so does her assailant. We are from their perspective and watch this girls petrified expressions as our killer slices a knife through the skin that is her mouth, to give her a long smile. Oh yes, this is a Marian Dora flick...
We cut to a man and lady, who I assume are husband and wife. They seem to be travelling for a holiday of sorts and neither seems to be happy with the other. This looks like a well needed holiday. They meet up with another lady and the three of them jump on a boat and sail away. Only, things are not what they seem, and we await some major sadistic cruelty on that boat...
I gotta say, Mr Dora really isn't a fan of the human body. Or he at least enjoys butchering it. I heard somewhere that he is a surgeon and it shows! Certain shots of this movie made me very aware of the fact that we're all meat. Ready to be hacked up. What a lovely thought! Dora likes to get up close and personal with these shots of butchery. But of course this is typical of him. Still, it's enough to make hardened gore hounds cringe, as I certainly was. This is an uncomfortable movie to watch. You'll be disturbed for sure!
As a contrast the score was beautiful. Really beautiful actually. In a similar vein to Melancholie der Engel but nicer. Some beautiful shots as well. I'm not sure if there is a deep message in this or if Dora was trying to say something particular, naturally is was probably lost on me since it wasn't in English. Though it's not as arty as Melancholie, and not as long either. Thank goodness! At 74 mins, it doesn't over stay its welcome. The pacing is so much better then it's predecessor, something I was very grateful for.
There isn't as much animal cruelty in this one, but it does feature a rather unpleasant scene where the guy guts some sort of eel or sea creature. There's also enough sadism, rape and torture to keep most extreme fans disturbed, all the while getting them to listen to pretty music to boot.
Apparently this movie was shot in less then a week and was only made on a budget of $10,000. Now that's an incredible effort! Well done Mr Dora! Even though I didn't understand a word of this movie, I gotta admit that that's impressive!
Check it out if you're interested, it's definitely eye opening and disturbing for sure!
Les possédées du diable (1974)
Simply Amazing!
I am relatively new to Jess Franco, my first ever movie of his being the hilariously bad yet still entertaining White Cannibal Queen. Quite often I hear Lorna the Exorcist mentioned as being a good movie, so I decided to finally watch it tonight, deliberately going in knowing nothing about it except it is a Jess Franco movie. Wow...just wow...what an amazing film!
Linda, played by the very young and incredibly beautiful Lina Romay, is about to turn 18. Everything is going to plan to celebrate her birthday, until her father Patrick gets an unsettling phone call from a mysterious woman called Lorna. Lorna wants Linda, and she'll stop at nothing to get her. Now she is appearing in Linda's dreams, and Patrick must do everything he can to save his only daughter from this mysterious woman, who appears to be capable of possessing others. But is he too late?...
There is something so beautiful about this movie. The score is just so beautiful, and goes so well with our beautiful stars, who are not shy to show their perfect bodies. Nor is the camera shy to get close enough for graphic details. Fans of the female form can rejoice as this movie focuses on beauty and perfection, especially private areas. Same might call this movie sleazy, and while it's one of the most explicit I have seen, there is something so hynotising about it, you just can't look away. It's like a dream that slowly descends into a nightmare. I don't think this movie is sleazy, I think it's amazing. I gotta find it interesting that this movie can be simultaneously arousing and disturbing at the same time. I don't think I have ever seen a movie quite like this before. At times beautiful and at others, downright horrifying!
The performances were fantastic, some even emotional! One of the most touching moments for me was when Jacqueline Laurent, playing the wife stands by her husband because nothing can destroy their love, even in times of trial. It really was such an emotional and beautiful scene. I loved it. Pamela Stanford is just hypnotic as the seductress Lorna. Her bright green eye shadow giving her such a menacing look with the stare that would freeze you up. Guy Delorme as Patrick also gives a strong performance as the tired and stressed father, doing everything he can to save his daughter, but the real star of this movie is the stunning Lina Romay. She played this part bravely as the innocent Linda, ready to be corrupted by the seductress Lorna. Her natural beauty highlighting her innocent nature. Her performance at the end is absolutely terrifying and bound to stay with you for a while. I do have to wonder if the makers of Sleepaway Camp saw this movie. Those who have seen the ending will know why.
There are at least a couple of scenes that will have you raising your eyebrows. This is quite an explicit movie, and by explicit, I mean practically pornographic. And while some ... um....love scenes.... are more than a little raunchy, some are intense and frightening! There is something so disturbing and horrifying about a couple of scenes. No doubt this movie caused some controversy.
My only complaint is this movie does drag a little in certain parts. At 99 mins, some scenes needn't be as long as they were. Still, it kept my attention and even caused my jaw to drop (multiple times) so I have to take my hat off to Mr Franco. This truly is such an amazing and awe struck film. One I believe I will be watching again.
The Abomination (1986)
What the hell was that?!
I heard about this one from some close friends and going in, all I knew was it would be in a similar vein to the movie Things. Now I loved Things. It was one of the most unique and hypnotising movies I had seen in a long time. So I was eager to check this one out. Well, it finished about an hour ago, and I still have no idea how to articulate what I just experienced. What the hell was that?!!
Lets start with the plot. We follow our hero, Cody, a thin and scrawny looking dude with 80s hair and awesome sunnies. Cody is a bit concerned about his mum, who is obsessed with one of those TV evangelists. His mum reckons she has a tumour in her lungs cos the TV guy says so, but she is healed through the TV and a minute later coughs up the tumour and places it in the bin... as you do...
Well, this is no ordinary tumour, it's alive! We know this because it convulses and breathes in the bin. But no one seems to take notice of that, or its foul order. Not until it walks (wait, tumour's don't walk, um, slides then) into Cody's mouth while he's asleep. Now Cody is coughing up blood and has a new blood thirst, to kill for the abomination which is controlling him!
Makes perfect sense right? Well, not really, this movie is so strange and bizarre it made no sense at all. But then again, I don't think it matters. If there ever was a movie that just goes with the flow, it's this one. And if the plot has you scratching your head, wait till you see the acting, which is so bad, it's beautiful! I mean this is a shocker! I just love the lack of enthusiasm, I reckon the actors were bored saying their own lines. Hilarious! And I don't know why they felt the need to dub an already English movie, but that made it even more bizarre! And I mean they dubbed everything! People walking across a room sounded like someone was hitting a hallow drum. The sounds were magnified, or distorted, to create such a weird and strange vibe. It made the movie even more abnormal.
To add to this already bizarre little flick, we also have the score which is just so awesome and trippy! Very 80s and very repetitive, but catchy enough. It certainly adds to the movie and helps to make it memorable.
I really liked this movie even though technically I shouldn't. From a cinematic standpoint this movie is awful on almost every conceivable level, but you know I think that's the exact reason why this movie worked so well for me. Maybe it was the ultra low budget film making, or the very southern American accents which are just awesome in their own right, or the fact that this movie had toilet humour that would make Trey Parker proud. Or maybe it was the "abomination", which is essentially a massive tumour with a mouth and big teeth. That's a pretty cool monster, don't deny it!!! It also builds up to a delightfully gruesome ending which also makes no sense, but hey, it's funny and entertaining so that gets a plus from me.
Though this bad movie isn't perfect. I think the term 'filler' is appropriate when they use a montage of the whole movie in the first three minutes of the film. Also using the exact same scene twice is a bit dodgy. Was it really necessary to see the beginning scene a second time? Maybe... I don't know, maybe it's really important that we know the abomination makes all things desolate because that what's said over and over and over again. Recycled footage does add on the minutes, but it gets more than a little repetitive.
So final thoughts? For an extremely low budget splatter flick, I enjoyed this one immensely, though did get a bit tired seeing the same stuff over again. It's hard to recommend this movie, as I don't imagine many actually liking it, but if you don't mind watching some shoddy acting, bad effects, and a meat eating tumour, then step right up and see this movie now! You're bound to be as amazed and confused as I was.
Thankyou
Misery (1990)
Brilliant Adaption!
Misery! Probably my favourite story by Stephen King. I actually read the book first before seeing the movie. From memory, the movie follows the book pretty closely, there is only one part that really sticks out in my mind as being different, but with the results I can't complain.
So, what's is all about?
A famous author has just finished the final transcript of a book series when he is in a car accident. While unconscious, a mysterious yet strong figure takes him home in an attempt to make him better. But doesn't he need to go to the hospital? Nah, this mystery figure, who turns out to be Annie Wilkes (played brilliantly by Kathy Bates) is his number one fan! She'll keep him there as long as she wants. And he'll do what she says, or she'll hurt him...badly.
The good! Follows the book damn closely. It's been a long time since I've read the book, so I might be wrong on a few things, but for the most part, I envisioned everything pretty closely, the only exceptions being I assumed the author would be a bit younger (I blame the book cover for that) and one scene which I'll discuss now. * Everyone has heard of the 'hobbling' scene, though I won't discuss it too specifically on the off chance that you haven't. This scene was a hell of a lot more gruesome in the books. At first I was disappointed that the movie didn't deliver here, but you know what, I LOVE this scene in the movie. Everything from the slow build up, to moonlight sonata, to the camera lingering just a second after the first blow. Sure it could have been more gruesome, but you know what, I thought it was damn near perfect in the movie. * Kathy Bates. Nuff said. * Great acting, lovely scenery, great story etc etc you get the point.
The Bad! ...... um.... will have to get back to you on that!
So, in conclusion, if you haven't seen this awesome movie, please check it out, you won't be disappointed. And if you haven't read the book, give it a read, it's brilliant! Thankyou.
8/10
The Last House on the Left (1972)
Ground Breaking Rape and Revenge
The Last House on the Left. The infamous rape revenge movie that caused movie goer's everywhere to utter the phrase "It's only a movie...only a movie". I think this was the first flick to really start the rape revenge theme, although it was sort of an unofficial remake of The Virgin Spring, an Ingmar Bergman film made 12 years previously. Being from the 70s, and part of the whole Grindhouse theme, this one really takes things to a whole new level of discomfort. Banned, and butchered by editors, I don't believe the intact version of the movie even exists?! Now that's extreme!
So, we have Mari, a sweet teen and her friend Phyllis, who wanna go to a concert but decide to score some pot on the way. They meet up with some escaped convicts and... well... things go very bad very quickly and the convicts seek refuge... at Mari's parents house. And well, that's where the revenge part comes into it. Okay, I'll be honest, the first time I saw this movie, I hated it! I felt the pacing was way off, the soundtrack was terrible but the most unforgivable thing was the goofy cops, who were supposed to be the comic relief, but ended up just being infuriating! I actually still hate those cops with a passion, but I no longer hate the movie. I actually really admire it now. Here's why;
The pacing. I was incorrect to say it was off. It's actually pretty awesome. It starts out as your typical B grade movie, but the middle section is some of the most disturbing cinema you'll ever see. It feels so real, almost like a documentary, you'll feel dirty just for watching it. And of course, the final act is back to B grade territory, and sure it's a bit silly, but it's satisfying none the less.
David Hess. Mr Hess plays Krug, the main escaped convict and he just oozes with slime. One of the most memorable villains in a movie, it's no wonder that director Wes Craven will pay homage to the name in another, more popular Craven flick later down the track.
Success in being disturbing. That middle section, as disturbing as it was, was ground breaking! The tag line "just keep telling yourself is only a movie" could not have been more relevant, as it felt so real. It's enough to make your skin crawl. This part was scary!
The revenge. As over the top as it is, it's still a damn good revenge sequences, my favourite being the castration. If I'm going to watch poor girls being tortured, I sure as hell want a satisfying revenge sequence, and this delivers!
So, final thoughts. This is actually a damn good movie. A shame that we will never have the full film, but damn, does it get nasty in parts. Highly recommended for lovers of exploitation and revenge films. Thankyou.
Nekeddo burâddo: Megyaku (1996)
Fantastic FX!
A teenage kid sabotages his mums experiment, to create this ultimate painkiller drug. The drug transforms any feeling of pain that one might have, to pleasure! Only this one is real extreme. The more pain you should be feeling, the more pleasurable it is! This drug is tested on three subjects. A chick who loves food, a chick who loves herself, and a chick who loves a cactus. As these women go about their lives, our teenage scientist spies on them and discovers the results. And so do the girls. Feeling how awesome pain should be, they are tempted to go to extremes to feel the ultimate pleasurable experience....with cringe worthy results!
So, the good!; The gore effects are excellent! I will praise this movie for these scenes. No cgi here, the prosthetic's look fantastic, especially that eye scene! The story. I actually thought it was an interesting plot. Lots of potential. The surreal elements. This movie looks nightmarish at times. It pulls this off very well.
The bad; The pacing was terrible. This movie switches from being mindblowingly cool, to mindblowingly boring! It's so slow in parts it damn near put me to sleep! The acting. Not gonna lie, don't expect Oscar performances here. It also gets a bit confusing? Being surreal works for the film, but it gets a bit too hard to follow, at least for me. I was mainly waiting for the scene were the chick eats herself... oh wow, I'm messed up!
So, we have a mixed basket here. Some very extreme/disturbing gore scenes, but it's also a bit boring and hard to follow. I'll give it a 7/10. Those effects were damn cool!
Ultimo mondo cannibale (1977)
Excellent Cannibal Movie.
Cannibal Holocaust has always been one of my favourite extreme movies to date. I recently saw Cannibal Ferox and started to develop a new found respect for this exploitative sub genre. Naturally, I couldn't wait to check out another one of these Cannibal gems and decided to watch Last Cannibal World (aka Jungle Holocaust). I gotta say, I was very happy with my choice. I knew I was gonna like this one the second I saw Ruggero Deodatos name at the beginning.
We have a group of people in a helicopter flying over a rain forest. They are oil prospectors and this movie is apparently based on a true story of what happened to one of them, Robert. The plane crashes and Robert and his friend Rolf soon get lost in the rain forest where it soon becomes obvious that there are primitive natives inhabiting it, and they are cannibals too! Robert ends up getting separated and captured by the cannibals. To find out what happens to him, you'll have to give it a watch.
I found myself giggling quite a few times during this movie. At the beginning after a plane crash, the Pilate (who has the best accent ever) is bleeding quite gruesomely down the side of his face. The female passenger starts to wipe his cut with a tissue and immediately gets a hostile "WHAT ARE YOU DOING????!" response. The blunt and shocked reaction had me in stitches. His facial reactions were just epic!
As funny as this movie was, it was also pretty nasty and quite cruel in parts. I would say it's in the same vain as Cannibal Holocaust, it gets pretty gritty. During the scene where the natives torture Robert, I found the whole scene so creepy and unsettling. You have to imagine if you were in that situation, how scary it would be, yikes! There were quite a few "Damn!" moments in this movie, it was a lot more intense than I expected it to be.
I felt really bad for Robert, his character goes through a lot, but man did he look fine running around all naked. And MAN did one of the natives look fine. She was a real stunner!
But of course, this being a cannibal movie, if you really love animals
yeah don't watch this one.
But, I did love it. If you're a fan of this sub genre, I highly recommend checking it out. Thankyou.
La montagna del dio cannibale (1978)
Captivating Cannibal Movie
Apparently the uncut version of this is banned in Australia, so I was very interested to check it out.
In our basic story, we have Susan (played by Ursula Andress, who was apparently in her forties when she made this) and her annoying brother Arthur, who wish to go on a secret expedition in the New Guinea jungle to find her husband who has been missing. They meet up with a friend of her husbands who believes where he might be, but it's believed he is on a cursed mountain, which we come to learn is called the Mountain of the Cannibal God.
This movie is really beautifully shot. Many of the scenes look like something out of the national geographic channel. The scenery is stunning in parts. Really gorgeous. The acting is also really good, something that I'm not used to with Cannibal flicks. And when we finally meet our Cannibals, they are really scary looking dudes. The masks they wear was a nice touch. Really creepy.
Though of course, you can still expect the animal cruelty, which is rampant throughout the whole film. I think this one has the most animal cruelty scenes. It gets pretty unbearable, so animal lovers beware.
However, for the most part during the movie, I kept thinking to myself, "This is a gorgeous movie, I loving it, but I don't understand why it's so extreme to be banned. Sure the animal scenes are cruel, but it's a bit tame compared to the other flicks...." Well, I hadn't gotten to the ending yet. Trust me, my jaw hit the floor during the end. It actually gets pretty damn scary at the end. Like a more extreme version of Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom. Those interested in extreme cinema can expect some really graphic scenes including a bestiality scene. Damn!
Final thoughts? Yeah, this one was a really good one. Looked quite expensive to make as well. I found myself very much engrossed in the whole thing. For a Cannibal exploitation movie, it's very well made and highly captivating. Highly recommended!
Mangiati vivi! (1980)
Cheesy Cannibal Exploitation
Directed by Umberto Lenzi this is by far, the funniest Cannibal movie I've seen. A real treat for fans of cheesy exploitation while still being quite gritty in parts.
In the opening, we have a sneaky dude running around assassinating folks with one of those spit tube things...you know, where they blow into it and a dart comes out and gets them in the neck...yeah those things. And after assassinating his targets, he runs off until he randomly gets run over by a truck. It was a very promising start!
We're then treated to the opening credits with this groovy jazzy 80's music. As the credits play, we follow a blonde called Sheila Morris, who is inquiring about her missing sister, Diana. Turns out the assassin had a movie on him when he died with Diana's name on it. Upon watching the tape, it appears her sister is connected to a strange cult in New Guinea run by the charismatic Jonas, who perform's unique rituals of sadomasochism in an attempt to get back into touch with nature. Makes perfect sense!
Well, Shelia, with the help of a guy named Mark, plan on finding her sister by travelling into the depths of the New Guinea jungle, but of course they must watch out for cannibalistic natives who inhabit the place.
You won't see the same brutality from Cannibal Holocaust, though it does get pretty full on it parts. The main thing you can expect from this one is the humour from the random and over the top acting. I love how Mark is just so incredibly sleazy and concerned with getting his $80,000, which he agreed to by travelling with Shelia, he was hilarious. My favourite scene was when they do eventually find Diana. Shelia comments; "She's different, I can hardly recognize her"... and Mark comments; "...She looks stoned out of her mind!"....
Just epic!
What I found really interesting was the cannibals weren't really the major focus, it's actually the cult. They come across as more messed up then the cannibals! Though I did find it humorous that when they do eventually meet the famous and legendary Jonas, he spends the whole movie wearing a dress.
The use of music was also pretty epic and hilarious. Not only did we have that jazzy music every time we cut back to New York, but we also have Bach's Toccata and Fugue in D Minor playing during a Funeral ceremony! Brilliant!
It was nice seeing the very lovely native girl from Jungle Holocaust in this, looking even lovelier. We're first introduced to her character at her husbands funeral where three guys have graphic sex with her(... makes perfect sense). She has a speaking part in this one too.
What I found really sneaky is if you're a fan of Cannibal movies, you'll notice "borrowed" footage inserted in it. I guess Lenzi thought we wouldn't notice, tsk tsk, Lenzi, we're onto you!
Despite this being the funniest cannibal movie I've seen, it still had some major WTF moments, none of which I wanna share, but I'll say one particular scene involved a wooden dildo and snake blood... There was also a lot of scenes where women get slapped, most of it random and so over the top you can't take it seriously. Yikes!
And again, yet another warning to animals lovers, there is a few messed up scenes that had me fast forwarding, so be warned.
So to conclude, I very much enjoyed this one, I think it's pretty safe to say that Cannibal movies are bloody awesome, whether they are gruesome and brutal like Holocaust, or hilarious with bad taste like Eaten Alive or Ferox, they are bloody entertaining.
Thankyou for reading.
36 pasos (2006)
Quirky and Original Horror!
I've wanted to watch this movie for a long time. I'm a massive fan of director Adrián García Bogliano due to his awesome Grindhouse throwback No Moriré Sola (I'll Never Die Alone). When I found out he directed another horror movie called 36 Pasos, I was very excited and intrigued to watch it. And I have to say, I've never seen anything quite like it before.
This is truly the most unique horror movie I've ever experienced. I was expecting something similar alone the lines of No Moriré Sola, but got something much more lighthearted and quirky, yet brutal and sadistic at the same time.
We have six girls in bikinis staying in a house preparing for a surprise birthday. These girls play around a lot, dance, swim and argue, but for the most part they seem very happy. That's because they have to be. You see, there are rules, and breaking the rules will cost you dearly...
This is truly a bizarre film. From the crazy camera angles, to the quick editing, to the almost crazy sounding soundtrack, I found myself completely unaware of where the movie was taking me. Usually I can figure out the type of movies I watch and almost predict what will happen, but with this one I was completely blind in knowing what was going on. A lot of it feels quite experimental with various different filming technique such as a whole scene told in backwards motion and a random creepy nightmarish animation scene. There's even a dance number towards the beginning. This movie switches between a lighthearted and cheesy comedy to a gruesome and brutal horror movie, and it does it effortlessly. Truly bizarre!
You can tell this is a very low budget film, but the gore effects are exceptionally impressive. When the blood starts dripping, things get really messy! It's hard to believe such a fun movie could turn into such a blood bath! I also liked the actresses, I reckon they played their parts pretty well. I really enjoyed the appearances of Gimena Blesa and Andrea Duarte from No Moriré Sola, I love seeing familiar faces. Finally, I also really liked how the story played out, it was really quite clever in coming to a very interesting and satisfying conclusion that I did not see coming.
My only complaint in this unusual movie is the soundtrack. Quirky at first, but it kinda gets on your nerves after a while. It's just a bit too much for me.
So, here we have a truly remarkable film, it really is quite original in it's execution. I recommend it for those looking for something a little bit different. Thankyou.