Reviews

I only reserve votes of "1" for the absolute WORST movies I see - this did not fall into that category, so I nicely gave it a "2." From the opening scene, when they (Bullock and her horribly-acted, non-existent, almost-less-than-one-dimensional husband) arrive at their new home that be bought & "surprised" her with (my wife leaned over & said, "Don't ever do that to me" - come on, ladies, do you REALLY want your man to just surprise you one day and say, "Hey, here's where we're spending the next x years of our life, I hope you like it"? Anyway, back to the horrible movie - from that very opening scene, I did not believe a word that was coming out of the actors' mouths. I didn't believe they were a young-ish couple in love - you have to assume they were in love at the opening, since they didn't have their kids yet and become "disconnected" from each other (as happens later in the movie). There is not one scene wherein I don't think the people on the screen are acting. From the lead on down - even Peter Stormare, who I liked in 8MM, Dancer in the Dark & The Big Lebowski - I never thought these were real people, it all seemed phony. The plot line is good enough, but there are these ominous moments - "Jim's already Dead" her Mom tells Bullock - that are seemingly put in for dramatic effect, but I'm not buying any of it. Bullock stares at her Mother after her Mom says that as if to say "I know better, I have the power to stop it and HIS LIFE IS IN MY HANDS!" The movies sucks, period.

OK, here is the spoiler - two guys end up naked in a hotel room wrestling on the bed. 1 of them is Borat, the other his producer, who is a fat, hairy disgusting slob. They do us the favor of "black-barring" Borat's schlong - perhaps they black out too much? Either way, it is SO DISGUSTING to see these two hairy Central Asian guys - and the horribly sexual positions they end up in - that you just can't watch. It's so putridly offensive that you can't bear to even look up at the screen. It is so perversely grotesque that there is no way a viewing audience should ever be subjected to it. AND I COULDN'T HELP WATCHING WHILE ALMOST SPITTING OUT MY SODA IT WAS SO FUNNY!!! I'm telling you, it was like watching a multi-car crash in slow motion. That had to be the funniest scene of one of the funniest movies I've ever seen. I thought "Little Miss Sunshine" was funny and cute. I thought "South Park" was funny & extremely offensive (duh). This movie was very similar in that way - I can't tell which I thought was "funnier" or "better," but if you enjoyed South Park (BL&C), you will laugh your ass off at this film. It also had 1 or 2 sensitive parts in it, but the way Borat just skewers American culture / ethnocentricity is too much.

When I saw the previews for this movie, with its strong cast, I had high hopes. I read a good review in the Wash. Post & my expectations were even higher - which I hate going into a movie, 'cause it's always a letdown, right? Not this time - this movie was funny from go, both a dark comedy and just hilarious. It hits / scores on so many levels. Alan Arkin is such a strong old man for such a loser H fiend. Kinnear is such a loser for someone who sells a system for winning. I can go on and on - and I'm horrible at writing these, so deal. It's a great story of a young girl who I think it's safe to say you wouldn't imagine in the world of pre-teen beauty queen competition. She's gotta go be in a show so the whole family goes along. To say that hilarity ensues would be unoriginal, lacking any imagination & honest effort at reviewing this film. Hilarity ensues. From 1 dysfunctional, chaotic, "ROFLOL" scene after another, the family (minus 1) finally makes it to the show.

Now, I think one of the best parts of this movie is how it skewers the world of young girl beauty pageants. All this poor little Jen-Benet's running around - it's appalling & (honestly) hard to watch. They look like little midgets, certainly not like little girls. It's sad...So just as you're thinking it, Dad & Bro tell Mom to get Olive (the contestant) the HELL out of there. Olive goes and and guess what? More hilarity ensues.

Bottom line, this movie is touching, it's real, it's sensitive, it's at times dramatic and depressing - hey, it's like a slice of real life. But through it all, this move is absolutely hysterical. You must see it and you will not be disappointed.

So, as I see it, this movie was intended for 3 targets: Kids, as a re-generation of the comic book stories; Men, as an action-packed blockbuster; and women for the love story. I guess it appealed to the 3rd group, because I just thought it was long and boring and the kid behind me was begging his mommy to leave (but SHE wanted to stay). So there you have it - the 3 targets and their respective opinions. Maybe the kid & I got it wrong, but between the two of us we have at least a 3rd grade education. Kevin Spacey's a great actor & he adds something to any movie he did, but even the long shots of him just staring at the next momentous thing to occur (spoiler: NOTHING that ground-breaking - pun - occurred). The movie was OVERLY long, taking far too long to get into LL's diabolical scheme. There was very little action to speak of and none of it was that impressive. Simply put, not worth the time.

V is a great film - it's got a good storyline, an honorable villain out for revenge against those who wronged him (and, in the process, bring down the Totalarian regime ruling England), and the gorgeous Natalie Portman. While it's hard to argue the Wachowski Bros. do a good job portraying the future in the aftermath of the past we're in the process of creating (What?), it just seems to me they go out of their way to tie almost all the ills of the "Big Brother" controlled future to the U.S.'s current myopic administration. But as I opened with, they do a good job presenting that scenario. They refer to the wars of the "Former United States" in the early part of the 20th century, almost calling those wars the cause for our downfall. But what really did us in was our lack of preparedness for Bird Flu (or pick-a-flu), and the controllers of the state of Britain have gone a great length to remind the citizenry of that everyday - drilling fear into their heads constantly. (Sound familiar?) The movie is black, foreboding (depressing, actually), but it tells a story that compels the viewer to argue we're not headed in that direction (at least, if you don't like Bush it's easy to see that). That being said - and I can't put my finger on it - there was something missing. Yeah, we could've seen "The Man Behind the Mask," as it was very hard to connect w/ V. (Also, the first chance we hear the hero speak, it's nothing, NOTHING, but words beginning with the letter V. OK, we get it, you can write a good scene, CONGRATULATIONS!) But despite the fact we see the root cause of his terrorism, I didn't connect w/ him because I kept wondering what this guy behind the mask looked like. Alright, enough of that - the action was good - it was definitely from the Wachowskis, but it wasn't "Groundbreaking" like the Matrix (and I mean that in a good way). The action contributed to the film without making itself the centerpiece of the film. All in all a great flick and - I'm sorry, I have to - any chance, ANY CHANCE AT ALL, to see Natalie Portman is alright with me - she is just plain FINE! (Oh, yeah, and she did well in her role - not great, but OK.)

Yeah, that's right, I went all, 9th grade high school girl in my summary, "Oh My God, This Movie F'n Sucked!" Maybe it's because I'm not British. Maybe it's because I didn't read the book. Maybe it's because I don't have a taste for dry wit. Or, maybe, this movie just blew! All I can say is that at one point, I went to the loo (how's that for British, eh?) & when I came back, the movie ended. That's it. Done. It just wasn't funny. It started off well enough, but then got lost in how they couldn't make this book into a movie and all the modern-day "industry-obsessed," self-glorification. Krap! Oh, I'm sorry. Rubbish! Still and all, I gave it a 2 because only movies like Oceans 12 deserve a 1.

This movie was great! It was funnier, more entertaining and just better than I thought it would be. Jim Carrey was funny, but it was all in the delivery of some well-scripted scenarios, rather than his "Ace Ventura," talking-ass comedy. It delivers very well. He was funny without being 'too Jim Carrey,' if you know what I mean. Carrey & Leoni work very well together, their timing and delivery just seemed natural together and that heightened the comedic value of the film. Just as Carrey was not 'over-the-top' Jim Carrey, Alec Baldwin was also good in this movie by being himself, but not overly so (if any of that makes sense). This is the story of a guy who works for a big company and then suffers at the hand of the demise of that company - a demise he unwittingly accelerated by a TV appearance the first day of his new assignment. The movie then takes you through what happens when desperate (white) people do anything to keep their home. This movie is simply funny (on different levels), has a great cast and is well worth the price of admission.