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sallymichellenelson
Reviews
NCIS: Sydney (2023)
Watch only while scrolling your phone otherwise don't bother.
If you are expecting an American style NCIS formatted series- don't.
Not sure if it's the general embarrassment over all the stereotypes (the characters and aussies).
There's no real charisma I this cast to carry the rest. Feels like cinematography tried to stay true to the formula but it is wasted on this show.
Plenty of pretty people and mysteries but it just felt like a B grade movie to me.
Too many of the characters annoyed me. Either trying to be "a socially challenged quirky computer genius" or "mysteriously miserable and grumpy forensic guy" or "Tough as nails hot boss chick" or "sexy black man agent" etc etc. Basically it's boring. All been done before.
If you forget the NCIS franchise exists and you like Australian stuff then you will probably be able to enjoy this.
Last Stop Larrimah (2023)
Embarrassing, boring and not an endearing character in sight
Too slow to be that boring.
It's basically an episode of "Days of our lives" Aussie bush version.
Maybe this is a typical small Aussie bush town but damn did they have to live up to all out crappy stereotypes?! How embarrassing
The alcoholism is at the centre. They'd have to all be drunk driving every day. Disgusting.
The cussing like it's normal. Classy.
Living in a town with so few people is asking for trouble. Not only are troubled people attracted to towns in the middle of nowhere but familiarity breeds contempt and it certainly did here. U won't like these "characters".
Xxx.xxxxxxzzzzzz.
The Fast and the Furious: Tokyo Drift (2006)
Lead actor has zero charisma
What a wasted opportunity. I enjoyed so much of it but Lucas Black ruined it for me. His accent, due to the uniqueness of it, although real sounds so fake. Terribly made up and forced. It made for a really looooooong movie. He sounded strange in the American setting but in Tokyo- ridiculous. I'd buy it if he made up for it with his acting but to quote someone on reddit "has the charisma of a wet blanket". Nor was he hot enough to be a main character in this. He didn't interest me enough to make me root for him like the other movies in the franchise. Luckily there's plenty of other f&f movies to watch.
Hippopotamus (2018)
Too slow for me
I liked the concept of the film but it's was hours before it got interesting then it ended not long after that so I was bored most of the time.
It was interesting but too many of the hints to twists were easily missed in the monotony and it made the ending too much effort to understand the (I'm sure) brilliance of.
Not sure what this kind of genre is but if u like relatively fast paced this is not for you.
They seem to jump all over the place with the scenes but it wasn't obvious just confusing. I like movies like that usually but it's nice for it to be very obvious.
Not sure how much was Stockholm syndrome but that's not cute.
Fast X (2023)
Pretty much what you would expect
Even all the people that come back from the dead. Again and again it seems. Everyone has an agenda and drama to figure out again. It's pretty much the same old formula and there's no end of this franchise in sight. I used to love it but it's time to be done. Now everyones back in play this is going to draaaaaag on.
Did not like Jason Mamoa's character at all. He was a really good casting choice but the character was crap for the storyline. This character was consistently ridiculous when everyone else was serious. Supposed to be the biggest villain but he was a goofball that didn't balance that with the kind of menace that puts fear in you and let's you know they're not to be messed with. This guy was trying to kill them all one minute then painting nails of corpses with his ghost in pigtails in a bright pink robe acting like they're all having the best time. Painting corpses nails should have been creepy but it was just silly. You can see JM had fun though.
The ending was annoying. Nothing had come full circle and was packaged up satisfactorily.
Just a full on cliffhanger. Two if u sit through some credits.
Jury Duty (2023)
Finally something new!
I was so on board for this and I wasn't disappointed.
How they didn't crack up half the time I'll never know. I cannot keep a straight face like that.
It was really well done and I love that Ronald keeps them on their toes. They could only plan so much as they would have to see how he reacted as they threw things at him. It was a fun ride.
They show how it was done at the end and I loved seeing all that.
Most of all I fell in love with Ronald as the episodes went on but I wondered if he was a plant too as he was proving over and over that he was a really good dude. Perhaps too good to be true. Although I'm sure he was coming up with "but wait how did they ______!" for weeks.
Are You There God? It's Me, Margaret. (2023)
As boring and annoying as the book
Forgot how stupid the book was till I watched this.
It is literally girls rushing trying to grow up like it's a good thing. Bras, boobs and periods SUCK but these girls are annoyingly obsessed.
There's some which religion to choose back and forth. She prays to god about stupid stuff and it has zero effect in her life. At the end she gets her period, is soooo excited then thanks god. Like that rounds out the whole film. Might be ok for tweens but honestly with the movies/series they put out now for tweens that are so salacious they probably won't like this. It's old, slow and set in the 70's so there's not much to relate to. The older generation might like it for the nostalgia but I'm one of them and I found it tedious and maddening.
So Help Me Todd (2022)
Silly and serious in a perfect balance
This series is just what I needed. I love a good mystery but I'm over the mostly tragic ones.
So I find this the balance of silly/funny and serious/professional perfect. I am a big fan of Bones and Castle which I've watched to death and was happy to discover this.
I find all the characters endearing. I'm a big fan of anything Skylar Astin (Todd) does. I am the age of the adult children and can definitely relate to Todd. My favourite is their mum, Margaret. She continuously surprises me and I thought those days had passed. When I think she's going to zig she zags and I love her more for it. Where most tropes involved in these kind of series would have this smart, gorgeous, confident, powerful woman only dictating to everyone while being totally out of touch with the world as her only areas of existence and knowledge are her professional life and being a mum. This character has tons more to her than that! She's a woman of power, influence and skill yet she genuinely cares for those around her and has humility. It's refreshing for the lawyer template. Watching her navigate her relationships with her adult children and adapting and learning in her parenting is sweet. I think different generations can get something out of it. I guess I just love that u can see these characters growing instead of being one dimensional.
I'm hoping it becomes super popular so they give us more.
Quantico (2015)
Wow
From the first few minutes I knew I would love this show. Beautiful people, interesting story and fast paced action. I quickly fell in love with the characters although I couldn't trust any of them.
I enjoyed how promising it looked. Then the constant flash backs/forward got tiring and confusing. I knew from the beginning I'd have to concentrate but the back and forward weren't clear enough to be fun. I spent too much time trying to make sure I didn't miss anything it felt like work not entertainment.
I'm hoping I have taken in enough to follow the story and not waste my time because I love it.
Triangle of Sadness (2022)
Snoozefest
Sooooo slow- as these quirky "comedies" often are. I had read what the plot was and kept thinking it would all be worth it but it wasn't and gave up fifty two minutes in.
The Instagram/model couple are beyond boring and the only people we see for thirty eight minutes straight. What a waste of time. It doesn't make them at all more interesting.
Then we finally get on the boat and start meeting new people yay! But alas these characters have nothing to offer either.
In the absence of any real interesting or endearing characters it's taking waaaay too long to get to the interesting parts of the plot so I decided they would still be boring then so I gave up.
Meet Cute (2022)
Interesting concept but depressing execution
WARNING: heavy on the suicide triggers!
This is NOT a romantic comedy as it seemed like from the trailer.
Or as u may expect from the lead actors histories.
Pete Davidson and Kaley Cuoco are some of my funny favourites but there wasn't any of that here. They can act- I'll give them that- but combined I thought it definitely would be funny.
I have depression which may taint my impressions and this movie was just dark and depressing to me. From the music to the settings to the storyline and the dialogue there was no levity just heaviness.
I see what they were trying to do but it didn't work from me.
Spontaneous (2020)
Booooo
After all the suspense there are no explanations or twists. Totally boringly anticlimactic.
The combustions just stop. They don't find out why. This movie had potential and I'm sure those that don't mind not having firm answers will like it but that's not what I watch movies for.
This promised mystery and delivered none of the satisfaction of discovering the mystery etc.
Under the Banner of Heaven (2022)
Couldn't stay awake
I've tried to watch this several times but unfortunately I kept falling asleep so I've given up. I'm now using it as background noise when I do want to sleep...
Private Practice (2007)
So glad I don't have a Sam in my life.
There's a lot going on with this series. If u like watching middle aged people cheating on each other, rushing to get married, talking abortions while also being baby mad then u will love this.
I like the series well enough but I'm so done with Sam. He's a condescending selfish brat of a man disguised as a calm stable man.
I've watched him repeatedly chose himself while making the women in his life have to compromise. He's always gaslighting ppl in his super calm manner. The last straw was his repeated firm stance on not wanting to have any more children- which his partner accepts but has to go off birth control for her own reasons- then he whines like a 14yr old boy complaining about how much he dislikes the feel of condoms. He's awful. Just awful. Such a shame.
The Lost Daughter (2021)
Love these actresses/director but this was not for me
I can't handle how slow "slow burn" movies are and how they don't sufficiently explain anything. I didn't know this was one of those movies and I tried to watch it. Halfway through I got bored. I like dialogue and clear revelations of the unknown all the way along. I read the reviews on here but I couldn't gauge wether it was worth watching to the end. Reviews were not making it sound worth it. I went to the internet and read the ending. I'm so glad I did because for me it wasn't worth it.
The Last Duel (2021)
Short story long
I didn't like the repetition in how it was told but it is a pretty basic story without it. I guess it was worth a shot but it's not for me.
It's hard to like many of the characters. The props and costumes were awesome.
Resident Alien (2021)
Just what I needed
I was looking for a new silly yet great comedy to make me laugh and this is it. It's weird, it's wacky and not so laden with drama it's depressing.
Brilliant casting for the alien.
The Clovehitch Killer (2018)
Not as exciting as trailer leads u to believe
I was very excited for this movie. It was slow in the beginning which I didn't mind as I figured it was building. However, for me it never built to anything worth writing home about. I watched on but I was bored so I vagued in and out and evidently missed the "great" bits hat tie it all together. Still don't know the whole story (came on here to find out) or why it was supposed to be so good.
It had potential to be as exciting as the trailer showed but I guess they chose to be more "arty" with it which I never enjoy so...
Pitch Perfect 3 (2017)
Another great movie in this franchise
Loved this movie as much as the first two. Only thing I loathed was John Lithgow's painful attempted accent. I assume it was meant to be Australian (Fat Amy is an Aussie) but as an Aussie I couldn't be more disappointed- he didn't even try. Or if that was him trying then that's just not good enough from an actor of his calibre. Actually, every minute he was on screen hurt- my ears and eyes. So many other actors (Aussie ones- handsome AND talented) that would have added so much more genuine talent.
Single Parents (2018)
Great show except for Rory
I found this series hilarious with crazy but loveable characters....except for one- Rory. This child character is demanding, bossy, dismissive, over the top dramatic, has an ego that knows no limit and all the characters pander to him as if he's being adorable or they're scared of him. This character spoils the series for me unfortunately.
The Life Aquatic with Steve Zissou (2004)
Waste of time- no it doesn't get better
The only people that should bother watching this movie are people who love this director.
It must be artsy or something because between the pace of the film (feels like it's going backwards at times), slow wit (so. Not. Funny) and terrible effects/editing etc I know I must be missing the point. It's not your average funny movie. So unless this sounds like your kind of movie skip it because it's waaay too long to just watch anyway.
Chain Reaction (1996)
Runs like he's never done it before
Not a bad movie. I certainly love the actors. However, if the main character is going to run that much in a movie he should look like it comes naturally or like it would be effective. I burst into laughter every time Keanu was "running for his life" because watching him do so was so disjointed to the seriousness of the movie. Ruined it for me. Maybe he realised because I've not seen him do it in other movies.
Baby Daddy (2012)
Repetitive but I like the characters
I fell in love with these quirky characters in season one. It all got a bit repetitive after that as the whole show is held together by most of the characters desperate to get laid as much and as often as possible. Which of course contains the same stale old jokes. There really wasn't enough other stuff going on in the show to make it seem less desperate. Or creepy/cringe (this is probably a 2021 thing).
If you can watch it without that being forefront its funny silly nonsense that should provide an escape from the real world for a while.
Young & Hungry (2014)
Overly sexual comedy with some disturbing outdated messages
Definitely not for kids. Waaay too many sexual jokes/innuendo. It's pretty much the whole show. It's a predictable comedy you need to be able to lean into the ridiculous to enjoy. I normally love this kind of series but this one had me rethinking my choices often.
This was all fine with me until I kept seeing "jokes" that were borderline or all the way over the line as far as sending the wrong messages goes.
For example; in one episode Josh gets a rash on his junk from laundry detergent but doesn't know this is why. He comes to the conclusion gabby has given him an STI. That's not the part I object to. The part I object to is the things he says while/having come to this conclusion.
Things about how she wouldn't have an STI because she's responsible (if they didn't have protected sex- which is the premise- neither of them are), how it's not possible he has an STI because she's the only one he's sleeping with (the ignorance), how she wouldn't have an STI because she's so sweet and innocent not a girl gone wild. He then yells at her accusing her of sleeping with other people, being irresponsible (he's no better) and calls her a hussy. It's basically an episode about what not to do if you start scratching your junk (eye roll here)
It's a typical episode for this series and not for everyone.
According to Jim (2001)
May have been interesting 20 years ago but not now
Same old same old. Same characters, same storyline's, same gags.
The whole thing just annoyed me- it was so predictable it was boring. Jim's character was not at all endearing so I couldn't find his selfish, lazy, disrespectful personality funny- haha you're a jackass doesn't do it for me. I just wanted to slap him. Not to mention they ruin any chance of realism with how much punching up the men were doing.