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Reviews
Les mémés cannibales (1988)
Not Funny, Not Gory, Just Boring
I had read only bad reviews about this movie, but I decided to try to find it anyway. When I did, I wished that I had saved my money. I love the title of this movie, and I love cheap, gory movies like Redneck Zombies and Blood Feast, but this movie wasn't funny or gory. It took over an hour for the grannies to open the present that turns them rabid. In that hour the actors talk and talk and talk about things that are truly useless and extremely boring. When the grannies turned rabid I was hoping the movie could redeem itself by having some cool gore or humor, or anything besides talk, instead we are supposed to be scared that the grannies are chasing the people around the big castle house thing. After listening to the stupid people talk for over an hour I just wanted to see them die quickly, I didn't care that they tried to escape. What a terrible movie...Don't be fooled by the title.
Citizen Kane (1941)
TERRIBLE
I have no idea how Ed Wood, or anyone else for that matter, gained any inspiration from this movie, unless it was inspiration to drink heavily and hope you forget what you just saw. The opening scenes are paced quickly, but contain nothing interesting, after that the rest of the movie is pointless and boring. If you can stay awake for the end, you must have a very high tolerance for pain. To think that people rate this as one of the greatest movies of all time is absurd. Try watching Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas if you want the greatest movie of all time.
I Zombie: The Chronicles of Pain (1998)
i zombie
I found the movie incredibly boring, but I really have no attention span...after what seemed like an eternity, the movie started to get my attention, I hate to recommend it, because it isn't very good, but the last 10 minutes or so are very good. The last few scenes will stick with you, even though you'll probably forget the rest of the movie. If you can find it cheap to rent, get it and try to sit through the whole thing, just for the ending, it's so effective you'll be depressed for days.
Le lac des morts vivants (1981)
A CINEMATIC MASTERPIECE
Zombie Lake is the american release title, but it would be more fitting if it was "Slow People With Green Face Paint Pond." I am the biggest fan of zombies that I have ever met, I really love almost all movies with zombies, but this one is so incredibly rotten that I'm sure the cast even hated it. The plot (if you want to call it that) deals with Nazi-zombies that just happen to be hiding in a "lake" and one day start attacking people, but it's not as cool as it sounds. The director, Rollin, who surprisingly has done some good movies, tries to make up for this junk by adding lots of nudity. If you're looking for a good zombie movie, try Zombie, and if you're looking for a good 'bad' movie, try something by Ed Wood, avoid this, it cost me.75c to rent it, and I felt ripped off.
La nuit des étoiles filantes (1973)
TERRIBLE.
The zombies are stupid looking, the plot is boring, the movie is so boring you'll stay on the fast forward button. The actors are impossible to care about, because you can't help but hate them. I found this at a video store and the box said, "Zombi 4: A Virgin Among the Living Dead" I didn't like the fact that zombie was spelled "zombi" I finally rented it, and me and a friend started to watch it, the beginning scenes we're stupid, and it stayed that way, we got through a lot of it, and then we had to fast forward, luckily the tape was messed up and the last 30 minutes or so had horrible lines all over the screen, it was more fun watching the lines than watching the movie.
Slugs, muerte viscosa (1988)
Great Campy Fun With Killer Slugs
Slugs was a great movie, for fans of gore/campy films as well as fans of comedy. Not really. All these slugs and people and creative ways of getting rid of all of them. There are a few scenes that will make anyone cringe. And there's the "something's biting my hand" scene that will make you laugh. But it is a great movie, and you won't want to fast forward through much of it unless you are wanting to show someone a cool part like the dude with the headache.