Reviews
The Avengers (1998)
Ich bein ein...Avenger?
NO, WAY. Here's my pick for the WORST Film of all time. Worst Hero: Ralph Fiennes (can't punch his way out of a paper sack, and what's with the manservant?) Worst Hair: Uma Thurman (The real Emma Peel barely broke a sweat, much less let her hair get all tangled and matted) Worst Gimmick: A Roadster that makes Tea (chilled champagne would have been more like it) Worst Kiss: (Ugh, I can't even think about it) Worst Assortment of Dupes: Guys in Bear Suits sitting around the conference table (apparently the scam involved the Grateful Dead?) Worst Moment of Desperation: Uma Thurman repeatedly throwing herself against a series of walls, trying to escape (come to think of it, I was doing that myself in the theatre) Worst Sense of Humor: The Whole Cast and Crew (who, apparently, either never saw an episode of the original Avengers, or didn't get the joke if they did.)
This film got a "1" from me because zero was not an option: but I can tell you it isn't worth the celluloid it's committed to. Let this be a lesson to all of us: CHEMISTRY IS EVERYTHING.
Once Were Warriors (1994)
A Powerful "10"
Whenever a film delivers on its promise, it deserves a "10". That's exactly what this film does. It's more than a morality play: it's a direct challenge to reach deep within ourselves to rediscover the true meaning of "society."
Late Bloomers (1996)
What's the story, Wishbone?
I came upon this movie by accident while channel surfing one morning. At first, I thought it was an "Afterschool Special," being repeated, but the midnight basketball session dispelled that idea. I'm glad to see this film was shown during the day, when people can actually see it, rather than played in the middle of the night, when the world is sleeping. It's hard to play this story out without making some aspect of it melodramatic: but I give the cast an "A+" for making me care how it all would end. (Hey: Didn't I see some of the 'Wishbone' players in this one?)
Fluke (1995)
Ladies, get out your hankies...
I love dog movies:I've seen them all, many times. But you know what I hate about dog movies? Yeah, they always make me cry (Lassie Come Home) Even the happy ones (The Magic of Lassie). But this one...this one is different. All I can say is, better get two boxes of Kleenex if you sit down to watch Fluke.
Glory (1989)
A Touching Tribute
When this film was released, I thought it was the ultimate story of the civil war and the men who braved immeasurable odds to make their indelible mark on the world as they knew it. In fact, after almost 10 years, it still stands as the most touching tribute to those men who sacrificed their lives for the greater good. It is the best film of its kind since "The Best Years of Our Lives," and deserved better than the Academy of Motion Picture Arts & Sciences would have you believe.
Meet Me in St. Louis (1944)
A film for ALL seasons...
Recently, this film showed up on a list of the Top Ten Christmas movies of all time. While it's true that there is a pivotal moment for the family that takes place at Christmas, and our hearts break just a little when Judy Garland sings "Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas," remember that most of the film takes place over the course of a year. (How could we forget the Halloween bonfire?)
On Her Majesty's Secret Service (1969)
It has been so nice...to cure you.
OHMSS is not just the "forgotten" Bond film: it was also way ahead of its time in terms of depicting the possibilities of terrorism involving biological weapons. But it's hard to focus on the story line when our hero is falling in love with 'Tracy,' played by a lithe and lissome Diana Rigg following her success as the ever-leatherclad 'Emma Peel'. For those of us hungry to see her in action once more, the story line could not have mattered less. Seeing her on the "big screen" was like scoring a fix:a sigh of relief, and not a moment too soon.
Blade (1998)
Others promise, Blade delivers!
Blade is the only film of 1998 that I rated a perfect "10". Why? Because, compared to every other movie, Blade was everything it promised to be. When everyone was carrying on about "Something About Mary," I expected a rip-roaring, roll-on-the-floor funny movie. At best, it was mildly amusing. Blade, however, was dark, slick, and action-packed, with an outstanding performance by Wesley Snipes. As someone who HATES vampire movies, even I was won over by this film. Anyone who rates this film less than 9 ought to stick to movies like "Something About Mary": they might find them more to their liking.
Private Parts (1997)
Mr. Stern portrays himself with panache...
If you didn't know the man portraying Howard Stern in this movie was himself, you'd think the guy playing the part really nailed it. You never get the sense that Mr. Stern is blowing his own horn:rather, you feel the undercurrent of a genius always on the verge of another breakthrough, and that is the appeal of this film. Anyone could have made a documentary of Mr. Stern (some have tried, and fell far short of their mark) but no one can deny that Private Parts says it all: it's just a bonus that we see it from the man himself.
Desk Set (1957)
A role-model for women of the late 20th century...
As a child of the 50's growing up in the suburbs of New York City, I was fascinated by the kind of corporate life depicted in Desk Set. Sharp-minded women, each with a quick wit and a real dedication to her work, soon became a model from which I fashioned my own unique style in the workplace. I wanted to be like them: funny, smart, resilient and sexy, all at once. Who wouldn't want to be Bunny Watson: living in a cozy apartment off Lexington Avenue, running a top notch department in a major broadcasting company, yet having the wherewithal to finish her Christmas shopping long before Thanksgiving!