This long slog of an "action" movie is emblematic of what's wrong with both mainstream and Adult cinema in the 21st Century. When I became a lifelong film buff in the '60s, Howard Hawks' "Scarface" was judged the classic Gangster film, and Hawks taught in film school as near the top of great American directors. Recently it is De Palma's bloated 3-hour remake that folks think of as classic, and Brian's ripoff approach to cinema has been emulated by scores of big-name directors and is the equivalent to the entire Adult "porn parodies" genre. De Palma parodied Hitchcock and even Antonioni ("Blowout") to fame and fortune, so maybe I can do it, is the hack's mantra.
This was shot by Jakodema, who I think should have chosen Hackodema as his alias to be more transparent. He has a terrible cast, led by Spanish import to Chatsworth Toni Ribas (my least favorite porn leading man), overacting consistently as punk turned gangster Tony Rodriguez, and in a huge role as his dumb sidekick Mickey (Toni always pronounces it Mikey, as in Michael J. Fox "Life with Mikey"), even though Clover is merely a guy with a big dick who I've never seen do anything other than stupid gonzo performances.
With nearly 4 hours to go, I was immediately turned off by Hackodema's ADD syndrome editing and terrible photography, in which he randomly tosses in wide angle lenses or even weird aspect ratios for no reason. No attention to scripting sinks the enterprise conclusively. In the '60s I watched movies on TV relentlessly and Edward G. Robinson in his WB vehicles was my hero. Even before I knew the term "story arc", I became addicted to Edward G.'s formula as a self-made man, rising to the top whether as gangster, meat-packer or silver mining magnate, only to fall in the final reels of a 75-minute programmer to destitution, self-pity and ignominious death. Other than "Little Caesar" his films were not classics but for me they were the epitome of cinema.
But here we have Toni as a disagreeable, irritating lout right from his first scene, consistent right up to the end where Clover shoots him and he's dead in his chair, face comically covered in white cocaine powder like the clown that he is, framed by a wall mural of the famous Hollywood sign. This is among the lamest characters I've ever seen in tens of thousands of feature films.
Incompetence in every department is evident. Action scenes are poorly staged and abrupt. In one key sequence, Clover saves Toni's bacon after his pal is tortured (CBT) with electrodes at his balls by mean hood Keiran Lee, who's just finished humping untalented tattooed starlet Sarah Jessie, another poor casting choice. Clover points his trusty Uzi at Keiran and henchman and sound effects are piped in, but the effect of the scene is that of a home movie with kids pointing toy guns at each other.
Later on, Jak has a dozen motorcyclists pursuing Toni's car to kill him, and Toni jumps out points two machine guns and yells his usual big-shot drivel -end of scene: no shoot-out, no nothing - the motorcyclists not even shown in a reverse shot.
Starting as a loud-mouthed valet parking attendant with delusions of grandeur, Toni's rise to greatness is facilitated by him murdering his gangster boss Steven St. Croix. There follows a stupid montage of him taking over Steve's empire that is ridiculous -so bad that it even shows a flash shot of him getting married, which I had to replay to figure out - I thought he was marrying his girlfriend Keisha Grey (subsequently to become the biggest superstar in the whole production) but illogically it turned out to be Nikki Benz as his wife, inherited from her role as Steve's girl friend.
Many other porn vets show up to hump (most embarrassing being Julia Ann as Clover's earth Mother), accounting for a 3 hour 44 minute running time including the lengthy dialog scenes. If you want to hear Ribas rant and Clover stumble over the English language, be my guest -there's plenty of that here.
Even as De Palma pastiche, this is a non-starter. Finale is even worse than what preceded it, and clearly the filmmakers have zero respect for their audience. They presume, rightly, that the young porn fans watching this drivel are accustomed to direct-to-video movies where Steven Seagal shares the screen with some rappers and mindless action footage is presented. What could be better than adding big- chested women humping away to that formula? Of course, even the bending hands backwards and breaking bones fun of Seagal is missing here, so at that level the mindless audience is cheated.
This was shot by Jakodema, who I think should have chosen Hackodema as his alias to be more transparent. He has a terrible cast, led by Spanish import to Chatsworth Toni Ribas (my least favorite porn leading man), overacting consistently as punk turned gangster Tony Rodriguez, and in a huge role as his dumb sidekick Mickey (Toni always pronounces it Mikey, as in Michael J. Fox "Life with Mikey"), even though Clover is merely a guy with a big dick who I've never seen do anything other than stupid gonzo performances.
With nearly 4 hours to go, I was immediately turned off by Hackodema's ADD syndrome editing and terrible photography, in which he randomly tosses in wide angle lenses or even weird aspect ratios for no reason. No attention to scripting sinks the enterprise conclusively. In the '60s I watched movies on TV relentlessly and Edward G. Robinson in his WB vehicles was my hero. Even before I knew the term "story arc", I became addicted to Edward G.'s formula as a self-made man, rising to the top whether as gangster, meat-packer or silver mining magnate, only to fall in the final reels of a 75-minute programmer to destitution, self-pity and ignominious death. Other than "Little Caesar" his films were not classics but for me they were the epitome of cinema.
But here we have Toni as a disagreeable, irritating lout right from his first scene, consistent right up to the end where Clover shoots him and he's dead in his chair, face comically covered in white cocaine powder like the clown that he is, framed by a wall mural of the famous Hollywood sign. This is among the lamest characters I've ever seen in tens of thousands of feature films.
Incompetence in every department is evident. Action scenes are poorly staged and abrupt. In one key sequence, Clover saves Toni's bacon after his pal is tortured (CBT) with electrodes at his balls by mean hood Keiran Lee, who's just finished humping untalented tattooed starlet Sarah Jessie, another poor casting choice. Clover points his trusty Uzi at Keiran and henchman and sound effects are piped in, but the effect of the scene is that of a home movie with kids pointing toy guns at each other.
Later on, Jak has a dozen motorcyclists pursuing Toni's car to kill him, and Toni jumps out points two machine guns and yells his usual big-shot drivel -end of scene: no shoot-out, no nothing - the motorcyclists not even shown in a reverse shot.
Starting as a loud-mouthed valet parking attendant with delusions of grandeur, Toni's rise to greatness is facilitated by him murdering his gangster boss Steven St. Croix. There follows a stupid montage of him taking over Steve's empire that is ridiculous -so bad that it even shows a flash shot of him getting married, which I had to replay to figure out - I thought he was marrying his girlfriend Keisha Grey (subsequently to become the biggest superstar in the whole production) but illogically it turned out to be Nikki Benz as his wife, inherited from her role as Steve's girl friend.
Many other porn vets show up to hump (most embarrassing being Julia Ann as Clover's earth Mother), accounting for a 3 hour 44 minute running time including the lengthy dialog scenes. If you want to hear Ribas rant and Clover stumble over the English language, be my guest -there's plenty of that here.
Even as De Palma pastiche, this is a non-starter. Finale is even worse than what preceded it, and clearly the filmmakers have zero respect for their audience. They presume, rightly, that the young porn fans watching this drivel are accustomed to direct-to-video movies where Steven Seagal shares the screen with some rappers and mindless action footage is presented. What could be better than adding big- chested women humping away to that formula? Of course, even the bending hands backwards and breaking bones fun of Seagal is missing here, so at that level the mindless audience is cheated.