"Tulpen aus Amsterdam", which of course means "Tulips from Amsterdam", is a German television film from 2010, so this one has its 10th anniversary this year. It runs for almost 90 minutes, like they usually do, and was directed by Ilse Hofmann, her last (probably final) career effort and she seems retired now. Anyway, looking at everything she did, there is not a lot included of which one could be proud of quality-wise. As for the two writers, one of them was not too experienced back then and has not ritten a screenplay in a while now (according to imdb), but the latter still seems to be finding work, although I must say judging from the quality here, there is not really any justification for them to be employed again. The cast really only includes two familiar faces and these are lead actresses Cukrowski and Schoras. I must be careful here to not overrate the movie because of them because I feel they are both fairly attractive, but I don't think they have too much range and versatility, especially Cukrowski. I mean looking at the RTL macho show she started her career with back in the day, it is kinda self-explanatory. I am a bit surprised they did not even find a more famous actor for the father, but oh well, it's probably because he is out of the picture fairly quickly. And while for any decent-quality movie the way how they got rid of the dad could have been the weakest moment story-wise, because it was written in such a shoddy manner and the fact how they think a quick use of slow-motion is enough to evoke emotion (that even rhymes, I am maybe more talented than the filmmakers here) is just truly embarrassing, it is definitely not the case for this film here. This movie hits rock-bottom in the second half and the quality is just incredibly bad when we get closer to the ending. Just take the doctor. Of coure, he would become a love interest for the other sister, but the way they depicted these two getting closer could not have been any more embarrassing. The truly negative highlight is towards the end when we see the doctor kiss her the moment she collapses because of her leg struggles. And these are serious. Really serious, but hey first some tongue action right? True professional this medicine man. Let's call him that. There are many moments before that aftually where you could really wonder what is going on because gently-speaking this film does not make any sense whatsoever from the medical perspective, but still it takes itself pretty seriously there. Unreal this is even allowed to air.
Then as for Schoras' character, you can definitely say that the ay her character was written (not the performance) is a slap in the face of everybody suffering from depression. They say she never or almost never even left the apartment for years and now all of a sudden we are supposed to believe she just walks out all the time as if it was nothing and she is in a good state psychologically, while also dressing in an attractive way. It's ridiculous really. And don't even get me started on how she simply goes to Amsterdam near the end. And our super doctor follows her right away. The actor was also not good at all. Still, admittedly he was much better than his assistant in one scene who tries to call Schoras' character. Haven't seen such terrible line delivery in a long time. I hope she seeks her luck in another profession. The title is a mess too by the way. Flowers play hardly no role anymore after we find out about the background story and the father's business. Amsterdam well, let me say that from this film here you would not get 1% of the beauty this city and country have to offer. So another failure. But hey, at least Cukrowski's character is betting right at the very start on if it's gonna be a girl or boy judging from the color of the clothes of the kids around her. Oh my. Maybe I need to revoke my decision to say that early on, it was still a tolerable movie. It just wasn't as big of a mess than later on, so maybe (just maybe) I would have given 4 stars out of 10 instead. But the second 45 minutes make it impossible. You must be really easily entertaiined to appreciate the ending with all the happiness shoved into our faces (oh yeah, all of a sudden she is even pregnant, gotta love how this film reinvents medicine). I was honestly surprised though that Schoras' character was not running like a young goddess. This would have been the icing on the bron cake and let me tell you the color brown is not from chocolate here, but another ingredient (hint: "The Help"). You know what I mean. Okay another bad moments include when Cukroski's character stalks the doctor to tell him how dangerous the operation is. After in-depth internet studies. Very smart woman. Or basically the entire story with Cukrowski's character and her man and the struggles with having a child. Be it the phone call that happens when there is this person around who is supposed to find out how suitable they are. The entire conflict of how Cukrowski's character cannot be there for her man (or a child) right now because she needs to help her sister could have been really interesting, but it feels extremely shallow and for the sake of it. No heart in this movie at all. Or be it the phone call between the two when the man randomly walks away, even out of the house, and she keeps rambling (now that was actually almost unintentionally funny, although they actually wanted this to be a serious moment) or be it the ending when succeeded with the adoption and got they got a child that the mainstream media as well as mainstream parties here in Germany will really love. How cute look at his ethnicity. Okay, I am drifting away now. I give this film a massive thumbs-down. Highly not recommended. Certainly one of my bottom 5 from 2010 and this does not just include German films, but all of them and let me tell you it means something because I have seen a lot. From that year too.
Then as for Schoras' character, you can definitely say that the ay her character was written (not the performance) is a slap in the face of everybody suffering from depression. They say she never or almost never even left the apartment for years and now all of a sudden we are supposed to believe she just walks out all the time as if it was nothing and she is in a good state psychologically, while also dressing in an attractive way. It's ridiculous really. And don't even get me started on how she simply goes to Amsterdam near the end. And our super doctor follows her right away. The actor was also not good at all. Still, admittedly he was much better than his assistant in one scene who tries to call Schoras' character. Haven't seen such terrible line delivery in a long time. I hope she seeks her luck in another profession. The title is a mess too by the way. Flowers play hardly no role anymore after we find out about the background story and the father's business. Amsterdam well, let me say that from this film here you would not get 1% of the beauty this city and country have to offer. So another failure. But hey, at least Cukrowski's character is betting right at the very start on if it's gonna be a girl or boy judging from the color of the clothes of the kids around her. Oh my. Maybe I need to revoke my decision to say that early on, it was still a tolerable movie. It just wasn't as big of a mess than later on, so maybe (just maybe) I would have given 4 stars out of 10 instead. But the second 45 minutes make it impossible. You must be really easily entertaiined to appreciate the ending with all the happiness shoved into our faces (oh yeah, all of a sudden she is even pregnant, gotta love how this film reinvents medicine). I was honestly surprised though that Schoras' character was not running like a young goddess. This would have been the icing on the bron cake and let me tell you the color brown is not from chocolate here, but another ingredient (hint: "The Help"). You know what I mean. Okay another bad moments include when Cukroski's character stalks the doctor to tell him how dangerous the operation is. After in-depth internet studies. Very smart woman. Or basically the entire story with Cukrowski's character and her man and the struggles with having a child. Be it the phone call that happens when there is this person around who is supposed to find out how suitable they are. The entire conflict of how Cukrowski's character cannot be there for her man (or a child) right now because she needs to help her sister could have been really interesting, but it feels extremely shallow and for the sake of it. No heart in this movie at all. Or be it the phone call between the two when the man randomly walks away, even out of the house, and she keeps rambling (now that was actually almost unintentionally funny, although they actually wanted this to be a serious moment) or be it the ending when succeeded with the adoption and got they got a child that the mainstream media as well as mainstream parties here in Germany will really love. How cute look at his ethnicity. Okay, I am drifting away now. I give this film a massive thumbs-down. Highly not recommended. Certainly one of my bottom 5 from 2010 and this does not just include German films, but all of them and let me tell you it means something because I have seen a lot. From that year too.
