The Simpsons (TV Series)

The Frying Game (2002)

Dan Castellaneta: Homer Simpson, Screamapillar, Blue-Haired Lawyer, Gil, Irish Priest, Guard, 'Frame Up!' Host

Photos 

Quotes 

• [Homer is talking to Carmen Electra. She knows where his eyes are] 

  Carmen Electra : Homer, my face is UP here.

  Homer : I've made my choice.

• Marge Simpson : Oh, I can't wait to see my surprise.

  Homer : [her pupil peeks out over the top of her blindfold]  Hey, hey, hey, no peeking.

  [he rolls it back] 

  Homer : [finally taking the blindfold off]  Happy anniversary, Marge.

  Marge Simpson : A koi pond! It's beautiful. Oh, you sweet, wonderful man-child. I finally have a peaceful place to sit and hear my own thoughts.

  [thinking] 

  Marge Simpson : How much money did he piss away on this?

• Homer : [accidentally squishing the screamapillar]  Oh, no! I crushed that horrible bug. What should I do?

  [his shoulder devil appears] 

  Homer : Bury it quickly, before anyone finds out.

  [his shoulder angel appears] 

  Homer : Ooh, I'm gonna tell.

  [devil] 

  Homer : The hell you will!

  [he throws his trident at the angel, killing him] 

  Homer : Now we're in it together. There's no going back.

  [he and Homer high-five] 

  Homer : Yeah!

  [as Homer buries the animal, a helicopter appears] 

  EPA Man : Stop what you're doing. Why don't I hear any screaming?

  Homer : Uh, he's sleeping.

  EPA Man : Then why don't I hear any sleep screams?

  Homer : Well, uh, the thing about that is, uh...

  [muffled screaming from the hole] 

  Homer : Whoo-hoo! He's alive!

  [chuckling] 

  Homer : Now you can't punish me.

  Judge Snyder : [in court]  Homer Simpson, for attempted insecticide and aggravated buggery, I sentence you to 200 hours of community service.

  Homer : D'oh!

• Homer : Meals on Wheels. Eat it up or I go to jail.

  Old Jewish Guy : [seeing the dessert has been eaten]  Didn't these meals used to have a cobbler?

  Homer : Uh, they discontinued the cobbler.

  Old Jewish Guy : [sniffing him]  You smell like cobbler.

  Homer : Now, let's not get into who smells like what.

• Homer : What the hell is that noise?

  Lisa Simpson : That caterpillar is screaming.

  Homer : [it continues to do so]  Aw, the poor thing's in pain. What he needs is a visit from kindly old Dr. Foot.

  EPA Man : Hold it right there, Dr. Foot. You're about to kill an endangered species, the screamapillar, which has chosen your yard as its home.

  Homer : Fine, I won't kill it.

  [whispering to Lisa] 

  Homer : Finish the job.

  EPA Man : Mr. Simpson, allowing an endangered species to die is a federal offense under the Reversal of Freedoms Act of 1994. You are now legally responsible for the safety and well-being of this screamapillar. Everything you need to know is in this pamphlet.

  Lisa Simpson : [taking it]  "Screamapillar Care Tips." Wow, look at all this stuff. "Without constant reassurance, it will die. It's sexually attracted to fire..."

  Homer : Are you sure God doesn't want it to be dead?

  EPA Man : Hey, what's God's gonna do, make my wife leave me again?

• Homer : Guys, I just ordered my wife the greatest anniversary present. A koi pond.

  Carl : A koi pond?

  Moe : Yeah, a meditative lily pond with, big, beautiful fish that fry up really good.

  Carl : Oh, that's the perfect gift.

  Lenny : Yeah, you don't even have to feed the fish 'cause squirrels drown in it.

  Carl : You got this husband thing down, Homer.

  Lenny : Yeah, you must be some kind of marriage super-genius. How about a few tips?

  Homer : Certainly, Lenford. Make every day a celebration of your love. Surprise her with a pasta salad. Put a mini-beret on your wang.

  Lenny : [taking notes]  Ooh, this stuff is gold.

  Carl : Happy marriage, here I come.

  Moe : Hmm. This will really help with my speed dating.

  [leaving, then coming back a moment later] 

  Moe : I got 400 "nos".

• John Coffey : [Homer is on his way to death row and passes by John Coffey's cell]  Gimme ya hands boss.

  Homer : [Homer reaches out to John, but is strangled by him] 

  John Coffey : I'll kill you! I Killed all dem people, I'll kill you too!

  John Coffey : [the guards break them up and he holds up a mouse]  You want some cornbread Mr Jingles. Well you can forget it, because I'M GONNA KILL YOU!