Lost in Space (TV Series)

Ghost in Space (1966)

Mark Goddard: Major Don West

Quotes 

• Maureen Robinson : You know, when I was a little girl, we found a Ouija board up in my grandmother's attic. Trouble was, nobody know how... what to do with it, even my grandmother. I'm afraid it's quite obsolete in the world of computers.

  Maj. Don West : Uh, so's Dr. Smith, but then, again, I'm not sure what world he really belongs in.

• The Robot : Warning! Warning!

  Prof. John Robinson : I want an immediate reading on the object.

  The Robot : Composition of object: does not compute. Genetic code: indecipherable.

  Prof. John Robinson : Can you locate its position?

  The Robot : Due north by horizontal bearing. Distance by velocity of light:...

  Maj. Don West : Velocity of light?

  The Robot : ...Sixty-five meters.

• Maj. Don West : You put the blasting pack in the hole marked with the arrow?

  Dr. Zachary Smith : Oh, indeed I did.

  Maj. Don West : Uh-huh. And you put the metal capping back on the hole before you left.

  Dr. Zachary Smith : Naturally. That's S.O.P. for all blasting operations.

  Maj. Don West : [angry]  There IS no arrow, and no metal capping. Now, what did you do with the explosives! I want the truth!

• Maj. Don West : I wanna tell you one thing, Smith: I promise you that bog may be off-limits to everyone else, but from now on you're going to be swimming in it every night looking for your three-toed uncle!

• Dr. Zachary Smith : Uncle Thaddeus, you stop that this minute!

  Dr. Zachary Smith : [seeing Don aim his laser rifle]  What are you doing to him?

  Maj. Don West : What's he doing to US?

  [Smith pulls Don's laser rifle away] 

  Maj. Don West : What'd you do that for?

  Dr. Zachary Smith : I don't want you to hurt Uncle Thaddeus.

  Maj. Don West : It's not your Uncle Thaddeus, you idiot! It's something you started by ditching that explosive in the...

  [cut off by an invisible punch, knocking Don backwards] 

• [the monster is caught but still invisible] 

  Maj. Don West : [shouting]  For once and for all, Smith, why don't you get it through your thick head that what's in there is NOT your Uncle Thaddeus!

  Dr. Zachary Smith : [outraged]  Yes, I know, Major! It's mass and energy and similar figments of your nuclear imagination - and if you choose to believe that humbug, you go right ahead and do it! Oh, the ignorance of science!