The Golden Girls (TV Series)

Wham, Bam, Thank You, Mammy (1990)

Betty White: Rose Nylund

Quotes 

• Rose Nylund : You know, I had a nanny when I was a child. She was my best friend. I could tell her anything and I'd know she would keep it a secret. We used to spend the days running and playing in the meadow or playing hide and seek in the barn. My nanny treated me like I was her own kid.

  [she is overcome with emotion] 

  Rose Nylund : Excuse me.

  [she leaves the room] 

  Dorothy Petrillo-Zbornak : Is there anyone here who doesn't think she was talking about a goat?

  [Sophia and Blanche indicate 'No' shaking their heads without a word] 

• Rose Nylund : [to Blanche]  Blanche, are you alright?

  Blanche Devereaux : I'm stunned, I'm just stunned.

  Dorothy Petrillo-Zbornak : Honey, what's wrong?

  Blanche Devereaux : That call, it was Viola Watkins, she used to be my Mammy.

  Dorothy Petrillo-Zbornak : Your what?

  Blanche Devereaux : My Mammy, the woman who took care of me when I was little.

  Dorothy Petrillo-Zbornak : Oh, I'm sorry, I don't think I ever heard anyone called Mammy before.

  Rose Nylund : What about Mrs. Eisenhower?

  Dorothy Petrillo-Zbornak : Mammy Eisenhower... I think only the Nixon kids got to call her that.

• Dorothy Petrillo-Zbornak : I'm still furious with Ma for hooking me up with that matchmaker.

  Rose Nylund : That reminds me of a story about St. Olaf's most famous matchmaker...

  Dorothy Petrillo-Zbornak : Oh, please Rose! Spare me the endless, inane details of how Heidi Flugendugelgurgenplotz successfully matched a bull with a duck!... And how their daughter was a bull-duck who ran a small tattoo parlor in Carmel.

• Dorothy Petrillo-Zbornak : Do I look like I just fell off the back of the turnip truck?

  Rose Nylund : No. But you do look like the woman who used to drive it.

• Blanche Devereaux : [after learning her father, Big Daddy, had an affair with her Mammy]  This changes everything I ever thought about Big Daddy. I always assumed that he and Mama had a wonderful sex life. I walked in on 'em once when I was a little girl. There was all this huffin' and puffin' and high-pitched sounds, and then suddenly Big Daddy shouted out, "GLORY!", and they both lit up cigarettes. I vowed, then and there, I would *never* do anything so repulsive.

  Rose Nylund : So what happened?

  Blanche Devereaux : Oh, Bobby Joe Porter explained to me that the cigarette part was optional.

  Sophia Petrillo : Remember that one time you walked in on me, Dorothy?

  Dorothy Petrillo-Zbornak : Oh, yeah. I still remember what you said: "Mommy's sick, get help."

  Rose Nylund : I would have *died* if I had ever caught my parents having sex.

  Dorothy Petrillo-Zbornak : What, you never walked in on them?

  Rose Nylund : Once, but they were only playing leapfrog.