Live Free or Die Hard (2007)

Bruce Willis: John McClane

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Quotes 

• Matt Farrell : You just killed a helicopter with a car!

  John McClane : I was out of bullets.

• Thomas Gabriel : On your tombstone it should read, "Always in the wrong place at the wrong time".

  John McClane : How about, "Yippee-ki-yay, motherfu - "

  [gunshot] 

• Thomas Gabriel : McClane? I thought I killed you already.

  John McClane : I get that sometimes.

• John McClane : You know what you get for being a hero? Nothin'. You get shot at. You get a little pat on the back, blah, blah, blah, attaboy. You get divorced. Your wife can't remember your last name. Your kids don't want to talk to you. You get to eat a lot of meals by yourself. Trust me, kid, nobody wants to be that guy.

• John McClane : You know, chicks dig scars.

  Matt Farrell : [looks at Lucy]  Really?

  John McClane : Not that one.

• John McClane : Mai? Oh, yeah. Little Asian chick, likes to kick people? I don't think she's gonna be talkin' to anybody for a really long time. Last time I saw her she was at the bottom of a elevator shaft with an SUV rammed up her ass.

• John McClane : You know what you get for being a hero? Nothin'. You get shot at. You get a little pat on the back, blah, blah, blah, attaboy. You get divorced. Your wife can't remember your last name. Your kids don't want to talk to you. You get to eat a lot of meals by yourself. Trust me, kid, nobody wants to be that guy.

  Matt Farrell : Then why you doing this?

  John McClane : Because there's no body else to do it right now, that's why. Believe me, if there were somebody else to do it, I'd let them do it, but there's not. So we're doing it.

  Matt Farrell : Ah. That's what makes you that guy.

• [after McClane flings Rand from his car] 

  Matt Farrell : Did you see that?

  John McClane : Yeah I saw it, I did it!

• Thomas Gabriel : I can't talk this guy. You talk to him. See if you can get him to focus.

  [hands cell phone to Lucy] 

  Lucy McClane : Dad?

  John McClane : Hi, baby.

  Lucy McClane : Now there are only five of them.

• Matt Farrell : Awww, great! There goes the cell phone.

  John McClane : They knocked the satellites out of the skies, now?

  Matt Farrell : No, your battery ran out.

• John McClane : I know I'm not as smart as you guys with all this computer shit. But, hey... I'm still alive, ain't I? I mean, you've *got* to be running out of bad guys by now, right? Huh? Gabriel? Honestly, you can tell me. I mean, how does that work? Got some kind of service or something? Some kind of 800 number? 1-800-HENCHMEN? Oh, you know what? I bet you're still on hold with, "Can I get another dead Asian hooker bitch over here right away?"

• John McClane : [covering the webcam]  You think you can, uh, find a track where he is?

  Thomas Gabriel : Detective, covering the camera with your hand does not turn off the microphone.

• Matt Farrell : What are we doing?

  John McClane : It's a little thing they invented back in the sixties called 'jogging'. You're gonna love it. Come on.

• Matt Farrell : Have you done stuff like that before?

  John McClane : Stuff like what?

  Matt Farrell : Like killing people?

  John McClane : Yeah. But not for a long time.

  Matt Farrell : [upset]  So, who were those guys? Huh? Why were they trying to kill you? Why'd they blow up my goddamn apartment?

  John McClane : They were there to kill you.

  Matt Farrell : Why would they wanna kill me?

  John McClane : You tell me, kid. You're the criminal.

• Matt Farrell : Jesus Christ. It's a fire sale.

  John McClane : What?

  Matt Farrell : It's a fire sale.

  Deputy Director Miguel Bowman : Hey! We don't know that yet.

  Taylor : Yeah, it's a myth anyway. It can't be done.

  Matt Farrell : Oh, it's a myth? Really? Please tell me she's only here for show and she's actually not in charge of anything.

  John McClane : Hey, what's a fire sale?

  Matt Farrell : It's a three-step... it's a three-step systematic attack on the entire national infrastructure. Okay, step one: take out all the transportation. Step two: the financial base and telecoms. Step three: You get rid of all the utilities. Gas, water, electric, nuclear. Pretty much anything that's run by computers which... which today is almost everything. So that's why they call it a fire sale, because everything must go.

• Lucy McClane : Daddy, you're out of your mind.

  John McClane : What're you talkin' about?

  Lucy McClane : You shot yourself!

  John McClane : [groaning]  It seemed like a good idea at the time.

• The Warlock : What, like, you a big fan of the Fett?

  John McClane : [standing next to a stand-up cardboard cut-out of Boba Fett]  No. I was always more of a Star Wars guy.

• John McClane : Hey, thanks for saving my daughter's life.

  Matt Farrell : [shrugs]  What was I going to do?

  John McClane : That's what makes you "that guy."

  Matt Farrell : [smiles]  Yeah.

• John McClane : [pissed off]  All you gotta do is go pick up a kid down in New Jersey, and drive him down to D.C. How hard can that be, huh? Can't be that hard, no, can it? No, gotta be a senior detective. A thing like a traffic jam, throwing a car at me's gonna stop me?

• John McClane : [Matt's showing interest in Lucy]  After all we've been through, I'd *hate* to have to beat you to death.

• Lucy McClane : Dad! Stop it! I mean it!

  Jim : Dad? You said your dad was dead!

  John McClane : What? You told this jerk-off I was dead? You actually said that?

  Lucy McClane : I may have exaggerated a little bit.

• [from trailer] 

  The Warlock : [to Matt]  Why did you bring a cop to my command center?

  John McClane : [laughs]  Command center? It's a basement.

  The Warlock : [angrily]  Who is this man?

• Thomas Gabriel : You're very impressed with yourself, aren't you?

  John McClane : I have my moments.

• John McClane : [acrobatic mercenaries attack John and Matt]  Jesus, is the circus in town?

• [last lines] 

  Lucy McClane : [referring to Farrell]  So, um, did he say anything about me?

  John McClane : Jesus, Lucy.

  Lucy McClane : What? I-I'm so- I'm sorry. I'm just asking.

  John McClane : I'm in enough pain already.

  [to medic] 

  John McClane : Hospital.

• Agent Johnson : Special Agent Johnson. I'll take the sedan

  John McClane : Agent Johnson?

  Agent Johnson : That's right.

• John McClane : Another day in paradise.

• [from the unrated version] 

  Matt Farrell : You just killed a helicopter with a car!

  John McClane : Hundreds of thousands of people get killed by cars every year. That's just like four more.

• Matt Farrell : Do we have anything, like, resembling a plan, or anything?

  John McClane : Find Lucy, kill everybody else.

  Matt Farrell : I mean, more like a plan, like, a way to do that.

• [from trailer] 

  Matt Farrell : Shouldn't we call for backup or something?

  John McClane : Makes too much sense.

• John McClane : That's enough of this Kung-Fu shit.

• John McClane : Are you Matt Farrell? Matthew Farrell?

  Matt Farrell : No, he, uh, actually does not live here anymore.

  John McClane : Of course not. Who are you?

  Matt Farrell : My name is Daisy Duke. Got a lot of shit for it when I was a kid. Please don't add to it.

• [choking Mai with cables] 

  John McClane : [sarcastic]  That's not too tight, is it?

• John McClane : Hey, hey, hey. Calm down. Just calm down, big boy!

  The Warlock : You calm down! This is MY house!

  John McClane : You're gonna tell me what I wanna know, or I'm gonna beat you to death in your own house.

• John McClane : But seriously, all that kicking aside, that skinny little ninja chick... she was smoking hot. A new one of those is going to be real hard to come by... right?

• John McClane : [in unrated version]  Yippee-ki-yay, motherfucker!

• [Matt is cringing while listening to Creedence Clearwater Revival on the radio] 

  John McClane : You don't like Creedence?

  Matt Farrell : This is like having a pine cone shoved in my ass.

  [John turns the volume up louder] 

• Matt Farrell : I'm not a doctor but-but you look like you're hurt.

  John McClane : Sexy, right?

  Matt Farrell : No.

• John McClane : Come on. Government's gonna have dozens of departments dedicated to that shit!

  Matt Farrell : It took FEMA *five days* to get water to the Superdome.

• [recognizing female terrorist's voice over the police radio] 

  Matt Farrell : That's her!

  John McClane : "Her" who?

  Agent Johnson : What're you talking about?

  Matt Farrell : It's them.

  John McClane : Are you saying it's "them" them?

  Matt Farrell : I *swear* to you, I know her! I would know her voice anywhere!

  [McClane picks up handset] 

  Matt Farrell : Don't say anything! Don't...

  John McClane : Just keep your mouth shut for a minute.

  [to terrorists over radio] 

  John McClane : Hey, Metro, how's your day goin' over there? Yeah, you gotta be pretty, uh, crazy over there, what with all those 5-87's, huh?

  Mai Lihn : Yes, sir, we've had to dispatch all units.

  John McClane : Yeah, you had to dispatch all units for all the naked people walkin' around?

• Thomas Gabriel : You know, John, I feel like we've gotten off on the wrong foot. And because of that, you think I'm the bad guy. Nothing could be further from the truth. I'm the good guy here. I told them this could happen if they didn't prepare. Did I get a "Thank you"? No, I got crucified. But, they wouldn't listen.

  John McClane : You got their attention now, don't you?

  Thomas Gabriel : That's right. I am doing the country a favor.

  John McClane : By tearing it apart?

  Thomas Gabriel : Better me than some outsider. Some religious nut job bent on Armageddon. Nobody wants to see that happen. Everything I've broken can be fixed if the country is willing to pay for it.

  John McClane : Ah, bullshit. It's always been about the money.

  Thomas Gabriel : What, I shouldn't get paid for my work? I'm working my ass off here, John.

  John McClane : Well, just sit tight, asshole. I gotta check for you.

• [from trailer] 

  Matt Farrell : [running to a bleeding John McClane]  You okay?

  John McClane : [pause, panting]  I'll let you know in a minute.

• John McClane : [about to jump out of a speeding car]  This is not a good idea!

• John McClane : Damn hamster!

• John McClane : I'm gettin' too old to jump out of cars.

• [Farrell is trying to lock his door to prevent terrorists from entering] 

  John McClane : Are you nuts?

• John McClane : I could come and find you, kick your ass and throw you out of your own party. What do you think about that, dickhead?

• John McClane : It's not a system, it's a country!

• John McClane : How do you know all this stuff?

  Matt Farrell : Dude I don't know. There is a lot rattling around up there. I couldn't tell you.

• [from trailer] 

  Thomas Gabriel : Officer McClane, you have no idea what I'm capable of!

  John McClane : You sound like a very scary guy.

• John McClane : It's Creedence.

  Matt Farrell : Creedence?

  John McClane : Creedence Clearwater Revival? Classic Rock?

  Matt Farrell : I know what it is. It's OLD rock. That doesn't make it classic. What sucked back then still sucks today.

  John McClane : You don't like Creedence?

  Matt Farrell : This is like having a pine cone shoved in my ass.

  [McClain turns the music louder] 

  Matt Farrell : Really? That's mature!

• John McClane : You're shooting at the wrong guy!

• Thomas Gabriel : Officer McClane?

  John McClane : It's Detective McClane, asshole. But don't worry, we'll have plenty of time to get to know each other when I visit you in prison.

• Matt Farrell : Hey, hold up. Where are you going? What are you gonna do?

  John McClane : What do you think I'm gonna do? I'm gonna kill this guy and get my daughter.

• John McClane : [after being in a car accident]  You alright?

  Matt Farrell : No, I'm not alright!

  John McClane : [gets out of the car amused]  Just stay in the car. You'll be alright.

• John McClane : [after triggering an explosion]  That's gonna wake the neighbors.

• [McClane is driving a big-rig truck and uses the CB radio to tune to the frequency he knows Freddy "Warlock" Kaludis is listening to] 

  John McClane : Freddy? Freddy? It's John McClane. Look, I know you can hear me. This is your frequency, right? 666. Come on, pick up the mic, Freddy.

  The Warlock : [in his basement]  Nobody here by that name, sorry.

  John McClane : HACKER JERK-OFF!

  [calms down] 

  John McClane : Warlock... I need you to do whatever it is you do to patch me through to the FBI, to Deputy Director Bowman. You hear me?

  The Warlock : Are you serious? You want me to intentionally open up a com line to the head of the FBI's cyber division? I don't think so.

  John McClane : FREDDY, GODDAMNIT, THEY HAVE MY DAUGHTER!

  The Warlock : [beat]  I can do that. Hold on.

  John McClane : Thank you.

• John McClane : [as the F-35 attacks McClane's semi-truck]  Is that it, huh? Is that your best shot?

• Deputy Director Miguel Bowman : Gabriel's not exactly people-friendly.

  John McClane : You think so?

• John McClane : [from the unrated version; after Mai falls to her death]  Yeah, Fuck You, bitch!