Penthouse: Ready to Ride (Video 1992) Poster

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3/10
Relic of the Past
refinedsugar10 April 2023
This video doesn't waste any time getting to it's theme - no title, no montage - straight into "Biker Girls" features three Pets (Julie K Smith, Dominique St Croix, Janine) in various scenes where they act tough and mishandle men. It sets the attitude the video is going for, but there's little continuous nudity. Dominique's huge breasts are the visual highlight (5 mins) and it's an indication which way this video 'Ready to Ride' is heading.

"Satin And Lace" is a boring B&W scene of a blonde sexing a dude on a motorcycle (3 mins). "Bar Dance" has two blondes get naked dancing on top of a bar counter meant to be high energy, but the delivery is tame. A generic hard rock track supplies the intended attitude (8.5 mins). "Locked In Leather" is a young Janine which took me a minute to recognize her. However it takes awhile before she's even topless and the soundtrack is beginning to annoy me (5 mins).

"Bikes And Guys" features a lot of ladies, but clothes stay on way too long. Julie Strain gets her boobs sucked on momentarily by a guy in an otherwise flat scene (4.5 mins). "Daydreaming" has a mechanic suffering from hallucinations of Julie K Smith. It's short, it's boring (2.5 mins). "Fire And Water" has a music track that shares the same title so get used to hearing those words said a bunch as Dominique is featured. Some footage seems like b-reel from other parts of her in this video (4 mins).

"Flower Child" has a brunette hitchhiking only to be picked up by a dude on a motorbike and a standard boy/girl with simulated sex follows (4 mins). "Biker Gang" is a scene I never want to see again. The cringe level is high as ladies dance combined with Billy Bob's massive biker cheeseburger / beer gut (5.5 mins). "Solo Dancing" is Julie K Smith dressed the same as you saw her in the beginning, but now ripping out of her fishnet bodysuit supplies this video with it's one and only explicit view (5 mins). "Ready To Die" wraps up the video with Julie Strain getting physical with a bunch of middle aged bikers. Were they chasing her? Was it a dream? Who cares (9.5 mins).

'Ready to Ride' is a very dated piece of softcore which maybe in 1992 could have been viewed as titillating, but now the low level of nudity on display doesn't cut it. The motorcycle theme doesn't do much and even Julie K Smith's multiple appearances can't save it for me. This is a Penthouse title you can leave in the past.
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