Director Scotty Fox must have kicked himself in the pants for having to change around the titles of the second and third Trek movie in his Sex Trek series (see the trivia section for more details). But the mix up does give the series a kind of Mel Brooksian vibe. You see, this third part, which was written to be part two, is a direct sequel to the first Sex Trek. Meanwhile back in the actual Trek universe, a recent Paramount DVD release boxed ST 2, 3 and 4 together and billed it as 'the movie trilogy'. So now thanks to Mike Horner free second Sex Trek stuck in between, Scotty's managed to create his own 'Seeman Bob' trilogy by default. Even more amazing is that the Bob of the title is played not by a porn actor but by the guy who provided the audio recording for all of these films.
Each installment was apparently filmed and released within 6 months of one another, as that is the time frame constantly being referred to by the characters (this one taking place a year after part one). Third time's the charm for Boner McJoy (Joey Silvera): he starts the film off boning two alien space babes (Silvera must have had it in his contract that he should have the first sex scene in each episode).
It soon transpires that the Starship Plunderer is being followed by an entire planet, and its a familiar one: looking as it does like Uranus. On beam down, Quirk (Randy Spears), Sperm (Mike Horner) and McJoy (Silvera) find Seeman Bob's grave right where they left it (he died on Uranus in the part one), only it's empty. Then Quirk is abducted by the female leader of the planet, as usual. This particular space babe, Latrina (Shayla LaVeaux) conjures up an illusion of Uwhora (Dominique Simone) for a threesome. This is noteworthy as Dominique is the first African American actress to play Uwhora in this series.
Disturbingly, the two chicks disappear after Quirk sticks it to them and are replaced by Seeman Bob (J.B.) in some kind of harem outfit. It seems the highly fertilized soil caused the not quite dead Bob to metamorphosis and now he has a five foot dong which grants him all sorts of super powers. For instance, he sends Sperm & McJoy to a black hole. Although his genetically altered member has tremendous abilities, it is too unwieldy to be used for intercourse. And that's why he wants to wreak his wrath on Quirk. Makes perfect sense.
Soon Quirk is also send to the black hole, where Sperm tries to contact Uwhora by way of a Horny mind meld. Unfortunately, like all human females (according to Sperm) she has a tendency to misunderstand. Instead of forming an Intercoursal Lock and communicate with Sperm, she becomes horny herself and gets taken advantage off by Squatty (still played by Randy West). You gotta love these old fashioned porn movies in which all the participants get to have sex at least twice.
Despite Mr. Sperm's claim that his Horny sex cycle is still 6 years away, the women of Uranus insist on trying out his organ. After they assure him that he is actually able to perform every seven minutes, his ears begin to grow and you know what that means. All the male actors start a trend of breaking the fourth wall and glancing sideways at the camera in this one. Afterward Mike Horner uses the Horny nipple pinch to escape. The crew beams back up to the Plunderer, but when Bob starts taking potshots at Quirks one true love (his ship), he counters by firing Condom Torpedoes. Seeman Bob drowns in his own semen but luckily Lt. Jackoff manages to beam the entire female population aboard. Don't expect to see imminent orgy in the transporter room though, as there is A: no transporter room set and B: no more time.
Constant references to scripts and the actor's contracts make this a good old fashioned spoof. Also mentioned by name are Ron Jeremy and Roseanne Arnold. One of these two will go on to appear in "Sex Trek: Where No Man Has Cum B4" in 2007.
6 out of 10
Each installment was apparently filmed and released within 6 months of one another, as that is the time frame constantly being referred to by the characters (this one taking place a year after part one). Third time's the charm for Boner McJoy (Joey Silvera): he starts the film off boning two alien space babes (Silvera must have had it in his contract that he should have the first sex scene in each episode).
It soon transpires that the Starship Plunderer is being followed by an entire planet, and its a familiar one: looking as it does like Uranus. On beam down, Quirk (Randy Spears), Sperm (Mike Horner) and McJoy (Silvera) find Seeman Bob's grave right where they left it (he died on Uranus in the part one), only it's empty. Then Quirk is abducted by the female leader of the planet, as usual. This particular space babe, Latrina (Shayla LaVeaux) conjures up an illusion of Uwhora (Dominique Simone) for a threesome. This is noteworthy as Dominique is the first African American actress to play Uwhora in this series.
Disturbingly, the two chicks disappear after Quirk sticks it to them and are replaced by Seeman Bob (J.B.) in some kind of harem outfit. It seems the highly fertilized soil caused the not quite dead Bob to metamorphosis and now he has a five foot dong which grants him all sorts of super powers. For instance, he sends Sperm & McJoy to a black hole. Although his genetically altered member has tremendous abilities, it is too unwieldy to be used for intercourse. And that's why he wants to wreak his wrath on Quirk. Makes perfect sense.
Soon Quirk is also send to the black hole, where Sperm tries to contact Uwhora by way of a Horny mind meld. Unfortunately, like all human females (according to Sperm) she has a tendency to misunderstand. Instead of forming an Intercoursal Lock and communicate with Sperm, she becomes horny herself and gets taken advantage off by Squatty (still played by Randy West). You gotta love these old fashioned porn movies in which all the participants get to have sex at least twice.
Despite Mr. Sperm's claim that his Horny sex cycle is still 6 years away, the women of Uranus insist on trying out his organ. After they assure him that he is actually able to perform every seven minutes, his ears begin to grow and you know what that means. All the male actors start a trend of breaking the fourth wall and glancing sideways at the camera in this one. Afterward Mike Horner uses the Horny nipple pinch to escape. The crew beams back up to the Plunderer, but when Bob starts taking potshots at Quirks one true love (his ship), he counters by firing Condom Torpedoes. Seeman Bob drowns in his own semen but luckily Lt. Jackoff manages to beam the entire female population aboard. Don't expect to see imminent orgy in the transporter room though, as there is A: no transporter room set and B: no more time.
Constant references to scripts and the actor's contracts make this a good old fashioned spoof. Also mentioned by name are Ron Jeremy and Roseanne Arnold. One of these two will go on to appear in "Sex Trek: Where No Man Has Cum B4" in 2007.
6 out of 10