Kindergarten Cop (1990)

Pamela Reed: Det. Phoebe O'Hara

Photos 

Quotes 

• Joseph : [to Phoebe]  Boys have a penis, and girls have a vagina.

  Phoebe : [to Kimble]  Well, I see you've covered the basics.

• Detective John Kimble : How do I look?

  Phoebe O'Hara : Take off the gun.

  [Kimble realizes he has strapped on his shoulder holster] 

  Detective John Kimble : That's a good idea.

  Phoebe O'Hara : Little bastards are gonna eat you alive.

  Detective John Kimble : Get some rest and don't worry. I've been working undercover for a long time. They're six-year-olds. How much trouble can they be?

  Phoebe O'Hara : On second thought, take the gun.

• Detective John Kimble : Just don't throw up on me.

  Phoebe O'Hara : Nah, it's OK, I'm not gonna throw up on you. But I am gonna kiss you.

• [after his first day, John comes back and collapses on his bed] 

  Phoebe O'Hara : How'd it go?

  Detective John Kimble : Go away.

  Phoebe O'Hara : That well, huh?

  Detective John Kimble : You take over tomorrow.

  Phoebe O'Hara : And blow our cover? Can't do it.

  Detective John Kimble : They're horrible. They're like little terrorists.

  Phoebe O'Hara : Tell me about it.

• Phoebe : [advising Kimble on how to be a teacher]  Listen, Kimble, you've got to handle this like any other police situation. You walk into it showing fear, you're dead. And those kids know you're scared.

  Detective John Kimble : [looks at her a moment, then nods]  No fear.

  Phoebe : No fear.

• Eleanor Crisp : [enters locker room, where she finds and unloads Kimble's gun, and also finds her dead son's bullet-ridden body and Kimble slumped and bleeding on floor against the shower wall]  Where's my grandson?

  Detective John Kimble : [gasping]  I don't know.

  Eleanor Crisp : [Eleanor fires gun into wall, just inches above Kimble's head, hissing]  Where's my grandson?

  Detective John Kimble : [gasping continues]  Go to hell!

  [Eleanor fires gun into wall again, just inches above Kimble's head, Phoebe enters the locker room and sees that Eleanor is going to shoot Kimble] 

  Eleanor Crisp : That's where you're going, you son of a bitch!

  [moves towards Kimble and taking aim with pistol, suddenly accosted by an injured and bat-wielding Phoebe, who strikes her in the shoulder and knocks her to the floor] 

  Phoebe : You're not so tough without your car, are you?

• Phoebe : Well, what are you going to do? Handcuff her to the bumper of your car and take her for a ride?

  Detective John Kimble : Let's just say I'm not going to offer to cook her dinner.

• Phoebe O'Hara : Not so tough without your car, are ya?

• Phoebe : We never talk to strangers.

• Phoebe O'Hara : Well, Joyce's story about the house checked out. It belongs to a guy who only uses it during the ski season. She's got under $1000 in the bank, no stocks, no bonds, no other assets under the name Joyce Palmieri. Her teacher's salary is less than mine, which is pathetic.

  Detective John Kimble : Keep looking. Check for offshore accounts under Dominic's name...

  Phoebe O'Hara : She doesn't live like someone with millions of dollars. She doesn't even seem the type. Kimble, this might not be her.

  Detective John Kimble : It's got to be her.

  Phoebe O'Hara : Why? Because she doesn't want to have anything to do with her ex-husband?

  Detective John Kimble : I know it's her.

  Phoebe O'Hara : Know what I think? You want it to be her. You really like her... and it's scaring you.

  [Sylvester's mother walks into the gymnasium with a bike and a pony] 

  Sylvester's Mother : Excuse me! Surprise! Ladies! Ladies, surprise! Obviously, I'm not into baking cakes so I brought these little things to donate for the raffle prizes.

  Phoebe O'Hara : Who the hell is that?

  Detective John Kimble : She's the one I was telling you about. Her husband ran away with another guy. It's been terrible for her.

  Phoebe O'Hara : [smirks]  You're not getting mellow on me, are you?