A Hard Day's Night (1964)

Wilfrid Brambell: Grandfather

Photos 

Quotes 

• Grandfather : Would you look at him? Sittin' there with his hooter scrapin' away at that book!

  Ringo : Well, what's the matter with that?

  Grandfather : Have you no natural resources of your own? Have they even robbed you of that?

  Ringo : You can learn from books!

  Grandfather : You can, can you? Pahh! Sheeps' heads! You could learn more by gettin' out there and living!

  Ringo : Out where?

  Grandfather : Any-old-where! But not our little Richard. Oh, no. When you're not thumpin' them pagan skins you're tormenting your eyes with that rubbish.

  Ringo : Books are good.

  Grandfather : *Parading's* better.

  Ringo : Parading?

  Grandfather : [nods eagerly]  Parading the streets! Trailing your coat! Bowling along! LIVING!

  Ringo : Well, I am living.

  Grandfather : You? Living? When was the last time you gave a girl a pink-edged daisy? When did you last embarrass a Sheila with your cool, appraising stare?

  Ringo : You're a bit old for that sort of chat, aren't you?

  Grandfather : Well at least I've got a backlog of memories! All you've got is--THAT BOOK!

• Grandfather : Hullo.

  John : He can talk then, can he?

  Paul : 'Course he can talk. He's a human being, isn't he?

  Ringo : Well, if he's your grandfather, who knows! Ha ha ha!

• Ringo : I don't snore.

  George : You do, repeatedly.

  Ringo : Do I snore, John?

  John : Yeah, you're a window-rattler, son.

  Ringo : That's just your opinion. Do I snore, Paul?

  Paul : With a trombone hooter like yours, it would be unnatural if you didn't.

  Grandfather : Now, Paulie... don't mock the afflicted.

  Paul : Ah, come off it, it's only a joke!

  Grandfather : Aye, it may be a joke to you, but it's his nose. He can't help having a hideous great hooter! And his poor little head, trembling under the weight of it!

• Grandfather : [looking at Margaret Nolan's bosom]  I bet you're a great swimmer.

• John : You should have gone West to America. You would have been a senior citizen of Boston. But you took a wrong turn, and what happened? You're a lonely old man from Liverpool.

  Grandfather : But I'm clean.

  John : Are you?

• Norm : Now you've got about an hour, but don't leave the theater. Where are you going, John?

  John : [with a dancing girl]  She's gonna show me her stamp collection.

  Paul : [also with a girl]  So's mine.

  Norm : John, I'm talking to you! This final run-through is important, understand? IMPORTANT!

  [John snorts like a pig, then leaves] 

  Grandfather : I want a cup of tea!

  Norm : Uh, Shake?

  Shake : [reaching for a guitar]  Um... I've got to adjust the decibels on the imbalance, Norm.

  Norm : Clever. George?

  [George puts his fingers in his ears] 

  Norm : Ringo, look after him, will you?

  Ringo : Ah, Norm!

  Norm : Do I have to raise my voice?

  Ringo : All right. Come on, Granddad.

  [mumbling] 

  Ringo : I'm a drummer, not a wet nurse, you know?

• Grandfather : It's your nose, you know. Fans are funny that way, they take a dislike to things. They'll pick on a nose.

  Ringo : Aw, you pick on your own.

• Grandfather : Look, I thought I was supposed to be getting a change of scenery. But so far, I've been in a train and a room, and a car and a room, and a room and a room. Well, maybe that's all right for a bunch of powdered gee-gahs like yourselves, but I'm feeling decidedly strait-jacketed.

  Lead makeup woman : What a clean old man!

  Grandfather : Ah, don't press your luck.

• [Grandfather and Ringo are held in a police station] 

  Grandfather : Have they roughed you up yet?

  Ringo : What?

  Grandfather : Oh, they're a desperate crew of drippings, and they've fists like mature hams for pounding poor defenseless lads like you. One of us has got to escape. I'll get the boys. Hold on, son, I'll be back here.

  Ringo : For me?

  Grandfather : And if they get you on the floor, watch out for your brisket.

  Ringo : They seem all right to me.

  Grandfather : Ah, sure, that's what they want you to think. All coppers are villains.

  Police Inspector : Would you two like a cup of tea?

  Grandfather : See, *sly* villains.

• Grandfather : It's my considered opinion that you're a bunch of sissies.

  John : You're just jealous.

  Norm : Leave him alone, Lennon... or I'll tell them all the truth about you.

  John : You wouldn't.

  Norm : Oh, I would, though.

• Casino Manager : Before you go, gentlemen, there's a little matter of the bill.

  Norm : I'll take care of that.

  [Norm take a look at the bill] 

  Norm : [shocked]  180 pounds?

  Casino Manager : I beg your pardon. Guineas.

  Casino Croupier : Your winnings, my Lord. 190 pounds.

  [Grandfather is excited, but the manager immediately takes the money from him as payment for the bill] 

  Grandfather : Where are me change?

  Casino Manager : Cloakroom charge.

  Ringo : Oh, well. Easy come, easy go.

  [Grandfather and Norm angrly look at Ringo] 

  Ringo : Well?

• Ringo : It's the Circle Club.

  Paul : [reads aloud the invite]  "The management of the Circle Club takes pleasure in requesting the company of Mr. Richard Starkey--that's you--to their gaming rooms. Chemin de Fer, Baccarat, and Champagne Buffet".

  [He pronounces it like it's spelled] 

  Ringo : They want me.

  John : It's gotten around you're a big spender.

  Norm : [snatches the card from Paul]  Well, you're not going.

  Ringo : Aww!

  Grandfather : [snatches the card from Norm]  Quite right. Invites to gambling dens full of easy money and fast women. Chicken sandwiches and carts full of caviar. Disgusting!

  Ringo : That's mine!

• Grandfather : Well, you got me here so do your worst, but by God, I'll take one of you with me! I know your game. Get me into that tiled room and then out come the rubber hoses!

  Police Inspector : Oh, there's a fire, is there?

  Grandfather : You ugly, great brute. You have sadism stamped all over your bloated British kisser!

  Police Inspector : Eh?

  Grandfather : I'll go on hunger strike! I know your caper. The kidney punch and the rabbit clout. The third degree and the size twelve boot ankle tap.

  Police Inspector : What's he on about?

  Grandfather : I'm a soldier for the Republic! You'll need the mahogany truncheons on this boyo.

• [playing baccarat] 

  Grandfather : My turn? Er... bingo!

  Croupier : Pas "bingo," monsieur. "Banco."

  Grandfather : Ah, I'll take the little darlins anyway.

• Ringo : Funny, really, 'cause I'd never thought of it, but being middle-aged and old takes up most of your time, doesn't it?

  Grandfather : You're only right.

• Paul : Yeah, where's the old mixer?

  Grandfather : Here, Paulie.

  Paul : I've got a few words to say to you, two-faced John McCartney.

  John : Oh, leave him alone. He's back, isn't he? He can't help being old.

  Paul : What's being old got to do with it? He's a trouble-maker and a mixer, that's good enough for me!

• John : And we're looking after him, are we?

  Grandfather : I'll look after myself.

  Paul : Yeah, that's what I'm afraid of.

  John : He's got you worried, then?

  Paul : Him? He's a villain, a real mixer. And he costs you a fortune in Breach of Promise cases.

• Grandfather : Hey, Paulie, they're trying to fob you off with this musical charlatan. But I gave him the test.

  T.V. Director : I'm quite happy to be replaced.

  Grandfather : He's a typical buck-passer.

• Grandfather : And where would they be without the steady support of your drumbeat, that's what I'd like to know?

  Ringo : Yeah, that's right.