Fall 7:9 (1951) Poster

(1951)

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2/10
The Orchid and the Scorpion
Chip_douglas15 February 2005
Warning: Spoilers
In this Haky production set in Frankfurt, Herr Inspector Braun carries the double duty of catching a bunch of counterfeiters whilst trying to keep the audience interested in his narration. First he meets up with French Police Inspector Paillard, who speaks perfect German because he used to be a prisoner of war. They actually proceed to laugh about the good old days for a bit, until Jimmy Olsen inspired Conny Hauser interrupts them with some leads connecting the false money to cars being sold at the border. So the team of Braun and Hauser (they should sell pianos with their names on them) disguise themselves as hitchhikers to catch those evil Bösewichten and end up in jail themselves. Braun visits Paris (after leaving his laundry at his sweet old mothers, macho man that he is) where Paillard introduces him to Vianna born Madame Winter, writer of crime novels. It is implied the two of them have a romance of some kind, though we never see any of this except for extreme wide shots of two people walking around the Notre dame (obviously they could not afford to send the actors there).

After lots of dialogue heavy scenes, an equally dull plane flight and a sleep inducing chase scene, they finally find some money being transported in hollow books. This however does not explain the trail of dead bodies Paillard is faced with. Three months and one bar room brawl later, Braun is one black eye and a new lead richer and goes for a relaxing shave. But his daydreams about Madame Winter are cut short by yet another false lead. The recovery of the all important clichés (the kind they print falsies with) leads to a long winded chase all over Frankfurt that would have made me laugh had I not been nodding off. From the harbour to the city, the entire police force seems to be after this one old guy on foot, who even stops and stands still in every searchlight! Only our hero Braun spots this lone man running across an empty street flapping his arms about and naturally they end up climbing an enormous winding stair case. But the end is still not in sight. If you really feel the need to find out who the real villain is after all this, I suggest you suffer through the whole thing like I did.

2 out of ZZZzzzzzzzzz
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