Mean Guns (1997)
8/10
Mean Guns
14 May 2024
Warning: Spoilers
Vincent Moon (Ice-T) has had it with the hundred people - a hundred people! - who have done him wrong. He lures them all to the prison that his crime syndicate has built - yes, this script is insane - and hides $10 million dollars. Only three people will be allowed to survive, as he's also left guns throughout and gives everyone six hours to be the last person standing. If more than three people are alive in six hours, his kill squad will wipe everyone out and if anyone tries to escape, he has snipers ready to shoot them.

Albert Pyun knew how to set up a movie.

In the middle of all this violence, four people come together: killing machines Marcus (Michael Halsey), D (Kimberly Warren) and Lou (Christopher Lambert) as well as Cam (Deborah Van Valkenburgh, The Warriors but yeah, also Too Close for Comfort!), an accountant who tried to do the right thing and tell the police about what Moon's syndicate is doing. Cam is in shock at all the bloodshed, but surrounded by these three stone cold assassins, she may survive.

In the midst of all this chaos, Lou also has a daughter, Lucy (Hunter Doughty), who is waiting in a car. He takes care of her and wants the money to make sure she has a future.

The killers are all as Pyun infused as you hope they would be, played by actors like Yuji Okumoto (Chozen, the best bad guy of all time, from The Karate Kid Part II) and Thom Mathews (The Return of the Living Dead and Tommy Jarvis from Friday the 13th Part VI: Jason Lives). James Mathers, who was Dr. Jekyll in Dr. Jekyll's Dungeon of Death, also is in this.

Shot in Los Angeles' The Twin Towers Correctional Facility - which was empty at the time of filming, due to budget problems (thanks Schlock Pit!) and where Blast was also made by Pyun - this movie looks so much better than its budget would let you believe. It also has, as much Pyun movies do, a cast that makes it work, as Ice-T seems to be having the time of his life as a silver grilled mambo loving maniac.

In case you're wondering why there's hardly any blood while everyone is being killed, well, they couldn't get the prison dirty. And everyone only had one costume for the duration of shooting.

Credit also goes to Andrew Witham's script, which is filled with tough killer dialogue and little bursts of weirdness. Sure, it's The Most Dangerous Game, but this movie is a marvel of low budget magic, as it has so many wild lines, a Three Stooges-style suitcase bomb death and even a line - "You're Now In The Purgatory Network. Audio and Visual surveillance is constant by Lucifer Command." - that can be read that the entire prison is in the afterlife.

Pyun also pulls off some small budget miracle here as while Lambert was paid half the budget, he was only available for a third of the shooting days. Most of his scenes were done in two eleven-hour days and the rest is all clever shots and fake Shemps, as Sam Raimi would credit.

It also looks wild, as Director of Photography George Moordian had secured free film stock by Moordian from Fuji Film and loved how Se7en had bleached the film. He fought to get the same look and it totally works, making this feel like it is inside some strange past future.

All in all, this is a near perfect movie.
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