*Superintendent Chalmers rings the doorbell at Principal Skinner's house, to which Skinner opens the door*
Chalmers: Well Seymour, I made it. Despite your directions.
Skinner: Ah, Superintendent Chalmers, welcome! I hope you're prepared for an unforgettable luncheon!
Chalmers: *sarcastically* Yeah...
*He enters the dining room, sits down and places a wine bottle in an ice bucket. Meanwhile, Skinner goes into the kitchen, only to find out his roast is burnt as he gasps in horror*
Skinner: Oh, YE GODS!! My roast is RUINED!!
*Skinner then looks outside the window to the nearby Krusty Burger restaurant as he begins to plot a scheme*
Skinner: But, what if... I were to purchase fast food and disguise it as my own cooking? *chuckles* Delightfully devilish, Seymour!
*Skinner tries to escape through the window, until the Superintendent walks in and catches him in the act*
Chalmers: Uh?!
*cue the 'Skinner and the Superintendent' theme song, as a montage of their scenes from previous episodes is shown*
"Skinner with his crazy explanations, The superintendent's gonna need his medication, When he hears Skinner's lame exaggerations, There'll be trouble in town tonight!"
Chalmers: SEEEYMOOUURRR!!!
*Cuts back to Skinner's kitchen*
Skinner: Superintendent! I was just... Uh... Jus- just stretching my calves on the windowsill! Isometric exercise! Care to join me?
Chalmers: Why is there smoke coming out of your oven, Seymour?
Skinner: Um... oh! That isn't smoke, it's steam! Steam from the Steamed clams we're having! *rubs his belly* Mmmm... Steamed clams!
*A suspicious Superintendent leaves the kitchen. Skinner breathes a sigh of relief, before exiting the window and running across the road to Krusty Burger, where he buys hamburgers and French fries to make up for his burnt roast*
*Scene cuts to Skinner returning to the dining room, with the fast food presented on a silver tray*
Skinner: Superintendent, I hope you're ready for mouth-watering hamburgers!
Chalmers: I thought we were having Steamed clams.
Skinner: D'oh, no! I said steamed hams! That's what I call hamburgers.
Chalmers: You call hamburgers steamed hams?
Skinner: Yes! It's a regional dialect.
Chalmers: Uh-huh. Uh, what region?
Skinner: Um... upstate New York?
Chalmers: Really? Well, I'm from Utica and I've never heard anyone use the phrase 'steamed hams'.
Skinner: Oh, not in Utica, no! It's an Albany expression.
Chalmers: I see.
*The superintendent takes a bite of one of the hamburgers while Skinner sips his drink*
Chalmers: You know, these hamburgers are quite similar to the ones they have at Krusty Burger.
Skinner: Ohohohohoho, no! Patented Skinner burgers! Old family recipe!
Chalmers: For steamed hams?
Skinner: Yes.
Chalmers: Yes, and you call them 'steamed hams' despite the fact they are obviously grilled?
*With his secret exposed, Skinner must come up with a distraction*
Skinner: Y.... Ye-... You know the-.... One thing I should-... Excuse me for one second.
Chalmers: Of course.
*Skinner steps back into the flaming kitchen and immediately back out, seeing as it is now on fire*
Skinner: *pretends to yawn* Well, that was wonderful! A good time was had by all, I'm pooped.
Chalmers: Yes, I should be- *notices the light coming from the burning kitchen* GOOD LORD! WHAT IS HAPPENING IN THERE?!
Skinner: Aurora Borealis?
Chalmers: Ah-... Aurora Borealis?! At this time of year, at this time of day, in this part of the country, localised entirely within your kitchen?!
Skinner: Yes!
Chalmers: ....May I see it?
Skinner: .... No.
*Both of them exit the house as the fire continues to spread. Skinner's mom is heard yelling to him off-camera*
Agnes (voice): SEYMOUR! THE HOUSE IS ON FIRE!!
Skinner (looking up): No, mother! It's just the Northern lights!
Chalmers: Well Seymour, you are an odd fellow. But I must say... you steam a good ham.
*As the Superintendent begins heading home, Agnes starts screaming for help, causing a concerned Chalmers to look back at the house. Skinner gives him a thumbs up accompanied with a fake smile, causing him to walk away. With Chalmers now out of sight, Skinner rushes back inside to deal with the fire*
Agnes (voice): HEEELP!! HEEEELP!!!
Chalmers: Well Seymour, I made it. Despite your directions.
Skinner: Ah, Superintendent Chalmers, welcome! I hope you're prepared for an unforgettable luncheon!
Chalmers: *sarcastically* Yeah...
*He enters the dining room, sits down and places a wine bottle in an ice bucket. Meanwhile, Skinner goes into the kitchen, only to find out his roast is burnt as he gasps in horror*
Skinner: Oh, YE GODS!! My roast is RUINED!!
*Skinner then looks outside the window to the nearby Krusty Burger restaurant as he begins to plot a scheme*
Skinner: But, what if... I were to purchase fast food and disguise it as my own cooking? *chuckles* Delightfully devilish, Seymour!
*Skinner tries to escape through the window, until the Superintendent walks in and catches him in the act*
Chalmers: Uh?!
*cue the 'Skinner and the Superintendent' theme song, as a montage of their scenes from previous episodes is shown*
"Skinner with his crazy explanations, The superintendent's gonna need his medication, When he hears Skinner's lame exaggerations, There'll be trouble in town tonight!"
Chalmers: SEEEYMOOUURRR!!!
*Cuts back to Skinner's kitchen*
Skinner: Superintendent! I was just... Uh... Jus- just stretching my calves on the windowsill! Isometric exercise! Care to join me?
Chalmers: Why is there smoke coming out of your oven, Seymour?
Skinner: Um... oh! That isn't smoke, it's steam! Steam from the Steamed clams we're having! *rubs his belly* Mmmm... Steamed clams!
*A suspicious Superintendent leaves the kitchen. Skinner breathes a sigh of relief, before exiting the window and running across the road to Krusty Burger, where he buys hamburgers and French fries to make up for his burnt roast*
*Scene cuts to Skinner returning to the dining room, with the fast food presented on a silver tray*
Skinner: Superintendent, I hope you're ready for mouth-watering hamburgers!
Chalmers: I thought we were having Steamed clams.
Skinner: D'oh, no! I said steamed hams! That's what I call hamburgers.
Chalmers: You call hamburgers steamed hams?
Skinner: Yes! It's a regional dialect.
Chalmers: Uh-huh. Uh, what region?
Skinner: Um... upstate New York?
Chalmers: Really? Well, I'm from Utica and I've never heard anyone use the phrase 'steamed hams'.
Skinner: Oh, not in Utica, no! It's an Albany expression.
Chalmers: I see.
*The superintendent takes a bite of one of the hamburgers while Skinner sips his drink*
Chalmers: You know, these hamburgers are quite similar to the ones they have at Krusty Burger.
Skinner: Ohohohohoho, no! Patented Skinner burgers! Old family recipe!
Chalmers: For steamed hams?
Skinner: Yes.
Chalmers: Yes, and you call them 'steamed hams' despite the fact they are obviously grilled?
*With his secret exposed, Skinner must come up with a distraction*
Skinner: Y.... Ye-... You know the-.... One thing I should-... Excuse me for one second.
Chalmers: Of course.
*Skinner steps back into the flaming kitchen and immediately back out, seeing as it is now on fire*
Skinner: *pretends to yawn* Well, that was wonderful! A good time was had by all, I'm pooped.
Chalmers: Yes, I should be- *notices the light coming from the burning kitchen* GOOD LORD! WHAT IS HAPPENING IN THERE?!
Skinner: Aurora Borealis?
Chalmers: Ah-... Aurora Borealis?! At this time of year, at this time of day, in this part of the country, localised entirely within your kitchen?!
Skinner: Yes!
Chalmers: ....May I see it?
Skinner: .... No.
*Both of them exit the house as the fire continues to spread. Skinner's mom is heard yelling to him off-camera*
Agnes (voice): SEYMOUR! THE HOUSE IS ON FIRE!!
Skinner (looking up): No, mother! It's just the Northern lights!
Chalmers: Well Seymour, you are an odd fellow. But I must say... you steam a good ham.
*As the Superintendent begins heading home, Agnes starts screaming for help, causing a concerned Chalmers to look back at the house. Skinner gives him a thumbs up accompanied with a fake smile, causing him to walk away. With Chalmers now out of sight, Skinner rushes back inside to deal with the fire*
Agnes (voice): HEEELP!! HEEEELP!!!