964 Pinocchio (1991)
7/10
Take notes, Zemeckis.
31 January 2024
I feel like half the runtime of 964 Pinocchio is made up of people charging at the camera or screaming, often both at the same time. It's not an easy movie to rate out of 10, but it is a little easier to talk about in general.

To keep the synopsis as PG as possible, there's a "cyborg" on the loose that's malfunctioned for "reasons," but it wasn't properly gotten rid of. So when it's taken in by a strange young woman, it starts to learn how to function again, regaining something of what it seemed to have before. I guess that's broadly where the Pinocchio link comes into play (twisted/unusual journey of beoming a "real" being), but anyone expecting something with more similarities might be unpleasantly surprised by the directions 964 Pinocchio goes in.

It's a gross, dirty, repetitive movie. It has a certain beyond-grimy aesthetic and simply chooses to wallow in it for 97 minutes, and I admire it for that. Sometimes, I liked how dirty the film felt, to the point where maybe it was a mistake to pause it at one point and take a shower (something I genuinely did; not related to the movie necessarily). Sometimes, I felt worn down by it all, but that's perhaps more a feature than a bug.

I will say, at about the halfway point, 964 Pinocchio did become a bit boring, and I thought it had run out of steam after a fairly engaging first half. Thankfully, it saved a bunch of bonkers things for the last 20-ish minutes, so it ends on a high... or low, depending on your definition.

Probably don't watch this, if you're most people. Those wanting something different and gross should sign up, though.
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