3/10
Orphan you don't want to adopt
31 January 2024
Orphaned child is adopted by a couple who eventually discover he's the anti-Christ. Low-budget and painfully tedious until the last 20 mins, whilst there's a constant aura of tension, the flow is stilted and lacking momentum that the audio-visual effects can't overcome.

The acting is functional and the technical specs are passable when you consider the budget, but if you're not prepared for the C-grade scale, chances are you'll be a little disappointed. One actress has a great scene where she eats a fire poker, and then there's the dude who's spontaneously attacked by the lawn mower, circular saw and power drill which is hilarious (and bloody). Plenty of sex and violence, nudity and blood, all the cool stuff you're expecting to see in a cheap exploitation film, and in this department, 'The Child' doesn't disappoint.

Around those elements though, it's a struggle even allowing for the fact it's not taking itself too seriously; bland and unimaginative, like a student film homage to 'The Omen' - which is okay for curiosity sake if they screen it for free, I just wouldn't be paying money to see it.
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