3/10
Howard the Turkey
10 January 2024
Howard is a Duck from the planet Duckworld, who is accidentally brought to Earth by a laser beam. Finding himself in Cleaveland, he befriends singer, Beverly after saving her from a couple of thugs. Beverly puts him in touch with her scientist friend Phil, who in turn puts him in touch with Dr. Walter Jennings. Jennings reveals that it was an experiment that he was working on that was the cause of Howard being brought to Earth. However, just as Jennings is planning to return Howard to Duck World, an evil alien being arrives via the laser beam and possesses Jennings's body. Now Howard, Beverly, and Phil must work together to defeat it before it brings down more of its kind using the laser beam and takes over the Earth.

Based off of the adult comic of the same name, George Lucas's 37 million-dollar science-fiction adventure comedy would crash and burn at the box office, being both a commercial and critical flop. Initially intended as an animated feature it was swiftly changed to a live-action one due to contractual obligations. One could theorize as to why it bombed so badly. Its absurd and off-kilter premise may have alienated mainstream audiences, or perhaps it was simply just a case of it not being very good. The problem chiefly with Howard the Duck, or as it was originally entitled in the UK, Howard: A New Breed of Hero, is that it was marketed as a family-friendly summer blockbuster, which given the nature of some of its near-knuckle humor proved to be a major misstep. Not least of which makes references, and I kid you not, to beastality in a scene where the movie's main female protagonist Beverly played by Lea Thompson begins to get a little too up close and personal with our feathered hero.

The movie is essentially one of two halves, with Howard arriving on Earth, and deals with him trying to acclimatize himself to life on a planet with a population he refers to rather frankly as "hairless apes". We see Howard getting a job as a towel boy in a massage parlor. Like I said, how this managed to get away with a PG certificate is anyone's guess. Meanwhile, he becomes acquainted with Beverly who proves to be his only friend on Earth while also meeting the zany and eccentric Phil, which sees a young pre-fame Tim Robbins chewing half the scenery. The second half revolves around the attempt to return Howard to his home planet, Duck World which in doing so sees a monstrous alien being called The Dark Overlord arriving with designs on taking over the Earth. Pretty standard megalomaniacal alien villain stuff really.

The problem with Howard the Duck besides its misjudged humor, is its inane screenplay and some highly uneven acting. Thompson who was so much of a more appealing screen presence in Back to the Future looks positively embarrassed, as if she wants to be somewhere else while Robbins gurns his way throughout the movie. The one actor who comes out of the movie with any genuine dignity intact is Jeffrey Jones who steals every scene he is in, as he takes on two roles. That of Dr. Jennings and the malevolent Dark Overlord. It's to Jones' credit that he manages to bring some measure of credibility to his role, which in a movie like this is really quite saying something. I mean, this is after all a movie that boasts duck breasts. Yes, a topless female duck. It doesn't get any more ridiculous as that, oh wait did I forget about the beatality? Scratch that. It's the second most ridiculous thing in this.

What saves it from being completely awful, besides Jones' superb double performance is that on the odd rare occasion, I did laugh in spite of myself. And then there's John Barry's top notch score, which in the right movie would have set the tone for a rip-roaring science-fiction adventure comedy. Unfortunately, this wasn't that movie. I will say this much for Thompson though she displays her vocal talents in this, and she proves to be a talented singer. Acquitting herself very well in her musical scenes. This is about the last really good thing that could said for this Turkey. Although it would not be the worst thing that Lucas would inflict upon movie audiences with his god-awful Star Wars prequels. Nevertheless, there's a reason this got lumbered with the nickname Howard the Turkey. And it had nothing to do with Thanksgiving.
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