Dear No Escape, I wanted to like you, I really did. Your premise seemed thrilling - a futuristic prison island where the worst criminals are left to fend for themselves, a concept dripping with potential. But oh, how you squandered it. From the opening scenes, it's clear that your budget must have gone mostly into Ray Liotta's intense stares, leaving little for credible set designs or effects. The 'futuristic' technology looks like it was borrowed from a low-budget 80s TV show, and the action sequences... well, let's just say they're more likely to induce laughter than suspense.
Then there's the plot. It's like a jigsaw puzzle where the pieces don't quite fit. Characters make decisions that defy logic, and not in a fun, zany way, but in a 'did the scriptwriter take a nap here?' kind of way. The villains are as menacing as cartoon characters, lacking depth or genuine threat. And the attempts at deep philosophical musings? They feel as out of place as a penguin in the Sahara. You aimed for profound and landed squarely in the territory of pretentious.
However, I can't deny that you have a certain 'so-bad-it's-good' charm. The over-the-top performances, particularly from Stuart Wilson, are oddly captivating in their absurdity. And there are moments, albeit fleeting, where the film almost reaches the heights of the sci-fi thriller it aspires to be. In the end, you're like a B-movie that doesn't know it's a B-movie, and that in itself is worth a chuckle. So here's to you, No Escape - a cinematic misfire that's bad enough to be somewhat enjoyable.
Then there's the plot. It's like a jigsaw puzzle where the pieces don't quite fit. Characters make decisions that defy logic, and not in a fun, zany way, but in a 'did the scriptwriter take a nap here?' kind of way. The villains are as menacing as cartoon characters, lacking depth or genuine threat. And the attempts at deep philosophical musings? They feel as out of place as a penguin in the Sahara. You aimed for profound and landed squarely in the territory of pretentious.
However, I can't deny that you have a certain 'so-bad-it's-good' charm. The over-the-top performances, particularly from Stuart Wilson, are oddly captivating in their absurdity. And there are moments, albeit fleeting, where the film almost reaches the heights of the sci-fi thriller it aspires to be. In the end, you're like a B-movie that doesn't know it's a B-movie, and that in itself is worth a chuckle. So here's to you, No Escape - a cinematic misfire that's bad enough to be somewhat enjoyable.