3/10
ROLLER BLADE
21 September 2023
Warning: Spoilers
Donald Jackson is the same man who brought us Hell Comes to Frogtown as well as forty more movies, including The Demon Lover, I Like to Hurt People, an entire series of roller blade-themed movies that includes the movie I'm going to talk about now, as well as Roller Blade, The Roller Blade Seven, Legend of the Roller Blade, Return of the Roller Blade Seven, Rollergator and Hawk Warriors of the Wheelzone and an entire series of sequels in Frogtown like Frogtown 2, Toad Warrior, Max Hell Frog Warrior and Max Hell Frog Warrior: A Zen Rough Cut.

Donald Jackson's movies started weird and stayed that way.

Gretchen Hope (Elizabeth Kaitan!) is traveling the wasteland protected by a nun from The Cosmic Order of the Roller Blade named Karin Cross (Kathleen Kinmont). Except that Karin gets hit with a rock and some mutants drag Gretchen to be sacrificed.

This also has Rory Calhoun in it, which kind of blows my mind, and Suzanne Solari played Sharon Cross, the same character she was in Roller Blade.

I have so many questions, like how do people roller blade in the desert and how can a movie with half-naked women warriors on roller blades actually be boring, but this movie figure that out I guess.
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