Star Slammer (1986)
1/10
I usually enjoy Fred Olen Ray's movies, but not this one
23 June 2023
I once met Fred Olen Ray at an event at the iconic Mahoning Drive-in and told him I saw and enjoyed all his movies, to which he replied "Oh, you're that guy!" We shared a chuckle. I bought a Hollywood Chainsaw Hookers t-shirt from him and he autographed an HCH poster that I hung on the wall in my movie room. Nice guy. In truth, I have not seen all of his movies but it seemed like a thing someone would say to prolific director of B-movies.

Had I seen this movie before I met Fred Olen Ray, I might have said I saw and enjoyed all but one of his movies. I envy those commenters here who found something likable in this movie because I found nothing. The acting was awful, the production values were awful, the costumes weren't even ridiculous enough to be entertaining. Sure, it was obvious that the casting decisions skewed toward pretty people but that isn't enough to distinguish it from most B-movies. I made it about a half hour and that was enough.

If I run into Fred Olen Ray again, I may ask him if he only directed this one for the money and suggest next time he consider using the name Alan Smithee.

Nice guy. Awful movie.
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