4/10
The good, the horrible and the mediocre.
23 February 2023
Warning: Spoilers
So yep-the costumes are renaissance faire bargain bin rentals. Most of the actors are mediocre at best. Yes the torture chamber was more torture porn (though only male backside nudity- fyi), and largely unnecessary to the overall story other than to provide additional mediocre acting and effects for horror that in those moments border more on comical. On top of a lot of cheap costumes there were also a lot of really cheap sets (the dungeon bars appear to be made of painted strips of wood).

Then there are the anachronisms, and there are lots. Lack of court wandering the halls, the kings chambers have a rough cut wood door, inside a palace where other rooms are opulent, Bobby pins, fake candles, shiny manacles.. things like that. I'm not an expert and didn't look all those up but that's what stood out the most to me.

But you don't go into a bargain bin B movie and not expect all of that. The sound was actually not terrible which is something that I appreciate. Super low budget films don't record it separately so the sound effects and/or voices are usually horrible. There is also some unnecessary things, like people trying to row a boat that don't know how and are completely unnecessary to the story as anything other than, yes, we're trying to legit appear to be the Tower of London.

The story of the two princes is true and unsolved as of today because Queen Elizabeth II didn't want to dig up the (one of the two sets of two) children found in the tower that were buried as the two princes for dna testing. So we'll have to wait and see if Charles wants to do it. They were also found long after the period the movie is set. In fact their disappearance played a strong role in changing the future trajectory of the ruling royals and is alluded to in the movie by Richard. However other than that and the primary character names the rest veers far off actual history.

Anyway....

-- here there be spoilers---

All that said, there were some twists I enjoyed which included the poetic comeuppance of many of the characters that others mentioned. I like karma and good endings so that is always with a rating bump to me. So yeah, everybody dies, and I do have to mention that you reach a point in the movie when just about everyone starts seeing ghosts of some sort, and about the time you start to wonder why they need Henry is when the end starts to reveal its few twists and turns.

I'm only noting them in case you got too annoyed or were multitasking and missed them because they're fairly obvious. The villagers (Fairpoint) that set up Henry gets (one) tortured and (both) killed anyway. (14 pieces of silver anyone?) The treacherous Queen gets her insides eaten by the children that she killed. Richard gets killed by the Father that Henry mentions when he first arrives telling the young priest how he died at Richards (and the priest realizes later, also the torturers) hands.

The priest is taken by a demon - pride goeth before the fall, considering he CHOSE where the pear of anguish was going to go, (not the face!) and considering what brought the Demon there?. Also Random annoying thing, why on earth was the pear the part that finally cracked the torturer? Idk! But also the Priest had it coming by then for asking Henry to do what he did in the end. The torturer they leave to the imagination.

Finally you think Henry escapes only to find it's his own family reaching out to talk to him after his death... I actually loved that part considering their relationship as a result of that gift/curse.

Last if you read this far - I don't apologize for being prolific. ;)
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