Harvest Lake (2016)
6/10
Don't go in the lake. Or do, or do it in the lake, or don't
11 May 2022
Warning: Spoilers
Two beautiful people run into the woods get naked and have softcore but pretty explicit sex and fall asleep. Women wakes up and there's an Adam and Eve moment with some liquid off a leaf. Then they wander mesmerized like into the lake. Apparently the lake makes you horny and walk into it? It's a decent setup and = erotic horror. The only reason this gets 6/10 is for this and the soundtrack and the cinematography, which are pretty good.

Minutes, days, months? Later four people show up. One couple, one single straight woman, and one single gay dude. They spend what seems like half the running time of the film sitting around a campfire talking. About what? Who knows. Hint, FF here, because it adds nothing to the plot. Another gay dude shows up so now we have two couples. There's some swimsuit sunbathing by the lake. Apparently the lake creature gets to the single gal, who then wants to have a threesome with the straight couple with no nudity and a brief appearance by the monster (who looks like the trash compactor thing from Star Wars) that no one seems to notice.

There's a fully clothed orgy with every one but the first gay dude. Then they run through the woods chasing the gay dude to get him to drink the plant juice.

Abruptly they all wind up in some cavern? Under the lake? Where, because there's no water and no explanation of how they get there.

They don't show up all at once either, but they all start having sex with an oily giant squash with various orifices and appendages. They seem to be absorbed into it after some rubbing up against it while naked. We must assume this was the fate of the couple at the beginning of the film too.

That's it. This really could have been a good movie. The plot (Lovecraftian thing in lake makes you have lots of sex, then you have sex with it until you're absorbed into it) could have worked.

It's almost like two different directors made this movie. We get the erotic/suspense at the beginning. Then we get, boredom: broadcast TV sexual content: unexplained connections between the lake monster, the plants, and the single woman; a glacial pace; and an abrupt transition to the end. Finally we get the premise summed up in one 4 minute "sex" scene with the monster.
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