5/10
Exciting monster fights with an incredibly dumb plot
28 January 2022
We all know why we're here, don't we?

Of course - we want mindless destruction with awesome monsters and great visuals, and if it was only about that, this film deserves some praise, indeed. I very much liked the wrestling component of the fights, with some of the highlight moves being some of the most satisfying examples that ever graced the screen.

However, with all the monster madness there is something that most of these movies seem to get wrong almost every time: the overall plot and characters.

Now, I certainly don't expect grand drama and acting excellence from a flick like this, but GODZILLA VS. KONG is a remarkably bad example for both of these aspects. All characters were pretty bad, and the plot... oh boy.

Let me put it this way: when the movie is trying to be smart, it's pretty stupid. But when the movie is stupid, it's absolutely brainmeltingly stupid. The techno babble is annoyingly idiotic, down to a point where it completely took me out of the film, laughing hard at the audacity the writers had when typing these lines. The acting is at best alright, but Rebecca Hall's overacting and the astonishingly unlikeable attitude of Millie Bobby Brown's character ruined a lot of the already unbearably inept plot. Alexander Skarsgård's talent was pretty much wasted here, while all the others seem to come directly from that direct-to-video sequel to Roland Emmerich's Godzilla that never happened - for good reason.

All in all, I can only recommend this film if you're able to leave your brain far, far behind and to focus only on the action itself. This is basically a script from 1997, made with today's technical possibilities - a script that probably even Roland Emmerich might have thought was too stupid.

Also noteworthy: when the Tom Holkenborg score isn't the worst part of a movie, you know that something's off. Although, to be fair, this was actually a pretty decent score for our less talented Hans Zimmer clone.

Don't believe the hype though. Instead, get drunk before starting to watch this, and you might have a good time.
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