A Chinese-Cuban man (he's actually from Puerto-Rico, as is the modern Ricky Ricardo aka Mario Lopez, but I'm not sure how to spell the word for its inhabitants, and since I have no idea how to place either on a map, they're interchangeable to me, and to you too!) moves to America and pretends to be a Spaniard so he can get a job working in a boo-teak selling Iberian Christmas ornaments like tinsel shrimp paella pans with the miniature yellow rice, Madrilenian castanets, bull-run horns with a red bow between them and flamenco dancers as Christmas Tree toppers. I forgot the name of the shop but A Very Spanish Christmas might be it, since all the decorations pertain to Spain.
In comes his boss, and she gets really mad and says "who named my store 'Spanish'?? It is Mexican!!" yelling, all in caps. So she sends Mario Lopez to the closet to fetch real Aztec and Mayan decor to hang on the tree, like stone temple pyramids, lemon squeezer hats and cool Mexican calendars with the monster in the center sticking its tongue out. Mario's character gets to the closet but, spoilers, he really is Chinese-Cuban so has no idea, like a typical American, what the difference is between Spain and Mexico. Surely the White Europeans from Spain must be red, like the natives from South of the border, the multi-mixed character thinks to himself.
In pops none other than Sabrina, the teenage witch, in the closet. She opens a portal and takes him on a time-travel loop to educate the poor, confused American on the conquest of the Americas by the different White peoples of the one Europe (back before it was one lame, wanna-be United States copy) so Clarissa explains it all to him.
At least, that's what I think happened or should have happened. I don't know. I dozed off and dreamed the rest. Mario Lopez has 0 acting talent. He's great at smiling and getting dimples all over his face, like his forehead and nose, and hosting shows like E. T and the like but he's no good at acting. He gives nothing to his partner. I should have written this boring movie myself (as you can see, I already made it more interesting) and I ought to have hired the actors too.
In conclusion, a very generous 2/10 because I'm sure something was fun in this movie. Like the opening credits, the music and some of the ornaments. Otherwise, watching blue paint dry would be a better use of your time, my friends. Can't LifeTime get a single movie right, this 2021!? Upvote if you agree, downvote if you have no taste!
In comes his boss, and she gets really mad and says "who named my store 'Spanish'?? It is Mexican!!" yelling, all in caps. So she sends Mario Lopez to the closet to fetch real Aztec and Mayan decor to hang on the tree, like stone temple pyramids, lemon squeezer hats and cool Mexican calendars with the monster in the center sticking its tongue out. Mario's character gets to the closet but, spoilers, he really is Chinese-Cuban so has no idea, like a typical American, what the difference is between Spain and Mexico. Surely the White Europeans from Spain must be red, like the natives from South of the border, the multi-mixed character thinks to himself.
In pops none other than Sabrina, the teenage witch, in the closet. She opens a portal and takes him on a time-travel loop to educate the poor, confused American on the conquest of the Americas by the different White peoples of the one Europe (back before it was one lame, wanna-be United States copy) so Clarissa explains it all to him.
At least, that's what I think happened or should have happened. I don't know. I dozed off and dreamed the rest. Mario Lopez has 0 acting talent. He's great at smiling and getting dimples all over his face, like his forehead and nose, and hosting shows like E. T and the like but he's no good at acting. He gives nothing to his partner. I should have written this boring movie myself (as you can see, I already made it more interesting) and I ought to have hired the actors too.
In conclusion, a very generous 2/10 because I'm sure something was fun in this movie. Like the opening credits, the music and some of the ornaments. Otherwise, watching blue paint dry would be a better use of your time, my friends. Can't LifeTime get a single movie right, this 2021!? Upvote if you agree, downvote if you have no taste!