Female Artillery (1973 TV Movie)
4/10
Wagon Train petticoat style.
4 November 2021
Warning: Spoilers
A rather generic western comedy stars Dennis Weaver, Ida Lupino, Linda Evans, Sally Ann Howes and Nina Foch with Albert Salmi and young Lee Montgomery seems like something from the 1940's, and if it wasn't for the presence of all the veteran cast, it would certainly rank lower on my scale. Weaver's a thief hiding money, coming across the female Wagon Train and he hides his backpack on it when men looking for him come around while he hides. When he retrieves it, he sees that the money is gone and goes after the train where he finds that in order to get the money back, he needs to aide the women to safety. And that's just the beginning of his problems.

Amusing here and there but obviously cheaply made, this movie of the week is no different than a dozen or so other westerns of the same, obviously "Westward the Women" where veteran leading lady Lupino is reduced to being the Hope Emerson of the group, ironic considering the number of evil prison wardens and matrons she's played. She is very tough in a funny way, at times emulating Mary Wicked as well. Foch too has greatly aged since her 1940's and 50's glamour days, and along side Lupino, her presence seems redundant.

Howes, the beautiful Truly Scrumptious from "Chitty Chitty Bang Bang" and a number of Broadway musicals, is oddly placed in this setting, yet even in little makeup, her beauty and grace can't be hidden. Evans, coming off four years on "The Big Valley", is more at home. A lot of the material is basically situation driven, so the plot stand still at various times during the film. If this was indeed another TV movie pilot, it has instant cancellation written all over it but as a 17-minute TV movie provides a little bit of distraction but it's quickly forgettable.
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