Pros: 1. It is stupidly funny to see a pastor become a dinosaur.
2. It has Voltaire in it! Like, holy cow! The Singer of the Dead shows his glory and face into this B flick!
3. The acting was great between Alyssa Kempinski as Carol and Greg Cohan as Doug Jones.
Cons: 1. The props are terrible. It's like watching a school play.
2. Scenes kept jumping and the cameraman from how it was shot was like disoriented shooting the film- The movie is bizarre as we speak.
3. The story was pushed fast, basically rushed and it can be confusing in the beginning.
4. Why ninjas? :/
The Velocipastor was something that once again, my friends and I watched on voice call on my server. I was having a heavy debate on watching it but my friends kept saying "This is great, you should totally watch with us!" I figured, sure! Why not I got nothing better to do besides just staring at a blank computer screen with the stream button on hold. And so, that is where the journey to the Great Valley starts.
The Velocipastor was a sight to behold! Like, I shat you not (Saw what I did there? XD), this movie was the lowest budget film ever to be made and produced! A $35,000.00 dollar budget to be precise and it was as low as it is with the special effects and props they had. It was a very corny movie. To have a plot centered around a pastor who gets this mysterious power from some artifact that can transform him into a dinosaur?! This is a far better transformation cringe than the werewolf one in The Boy Who Cried Werewolf- except in that movie, they tried their damn well best to make it good. The Velocipastor was made to make it as cheesy as possible with the plot and effects.
Throughout the whole thing, seeing a hooker and a priest have sexual feelings with each other felt like a Twilight movie going on except the hooker named Carol was a saint rather than Bella. Infact, this movie makes a better love story than Twilight.
What was surprising is that they got Voltaire, the singer known in The Grim Adventures of Billy and Mandy, played as Altair who was another priest who was trying to exorcise the demonic BC reptile out of the holy protagonist's body.
The ninja plot though like I have to ask why? Was it really necessary to add Mighty Morphin Ninja Anti-Rangers into the mix? The main antagonist's plans are kinda far fetched and weak.
The story felt like it had a mind of its own and the director just went along with it. He wrote it to either make it legit or just a story idea he thought of and throw it to the audience to judge it- I think both.
Brendan Steere truly made a divine masterpiece that dug its way through the stone era and hit the heavens above to make such an absurd gateway plot for everyone to enjoy. Do I recommend this? Well, yeah and no. It is a mix for me. Personally, I watch it with friends and make fun of it. We will forever know that the greatest scenes in the movie was between the ninjas VS a poor realistic Barney costume and the picture of Anne Frank in the Vietnam flashback, LMFAO!
Movie Rating: 3.9/10 A movie to watch when you are bored and want to laugh at something stupid.
2. It has Voltaire in it! Like, holy cow! The Singer of the Dead shows his glory and face into this B flick!
3. The acting was great between Alyssa Kempinski as Carol and Greg Cohan as Doug Jones.
Cons: 1. The props are terrible. It's like watching a school play.
2. Scenes kept jumping and the cameraman from how it was shot was like disoriented shooting the film- The movie is bizarre as we speak.
3. The story was pushed fast, basically rushed and it can be confusing in the beginning.
4. Why ninjas? :/
The Velocipastor was something that once again, my friends and I watched on voice call on my server. I was having a heavy debate on watching it but my friends kept saying "This is great, you should totally watch with us!" I figured, sure! Why not I got nothing better to do besides just staring at a blank computer screen with the stream button on hold. And so, that is where the journey to the Great Valley starts.
The Velocipastor was a sight to behold! Like, I shat you not (Saw what I did there? XD), this movie was the lowest budget film ever to be made and produced! A $35,000.00 dollar budget to be precise and it was as low as it is with the special effects and props they had. It was a very corny movie. To have a plot centered around a pastor who gets this mysterious power from some artifact that can transform him into a dinosaur?! This is a far better transformation cringe than the werewolf one in The Boy Who Cried Werewolf- except in that movie, they tried their damn well best to make it good. The Velocipastor was made to make it as cheesy as possible with the plot and effects.
Throughout the whole thing, seeing a hooker and a priest have sexual feelings with each other felt like a Twilight movie going on except the hooker named Carol was a saint rather than Bella. Infact, this movie makes a better love story than Twilight.
What was surprising is that they got Voltaire, the singer known in The Grim Adventures of Billy and Mandy, played as Altair who was another priest who was trying to exorcise the demonic BC reptile out of the holy protagonist's body.
The ninja plot though like I have to ask why? Was it really necessary to add Mighty Morphin Ninja Anti-Rangers into the mix? The main antagonist's plans are kinda far fetched and weak.
The story felt like it had a mind of its own and the director just went along with it. He wrote it to either make it legit or just a story idea he thought of and throw it to the audience to judge it- I think both.
Brendan Steere truly made a divine masterpiece that dug its way through the stone era and hit the heavens above to make such an absurd gateway plot for everyone to enjoy. Do I recommend this? Well, yeah and no. It is a mix for me. Personally, I watch it with friends and make fun of it. We will forever know that the greatest scenes in the movie was between the ninjas VS a poor realistic Barney costume and the picture of Anne Frank in the Vietnam flashback, LMFAO!
Movie Rating: 3.9/10 A movie to watch when you are bored and want to laugh at something stupid.