Reason number one: Thomas's glorious mullet - easily one of the finest examples of the 'business up front, party in the back' hairstyle ever committed to film (even better than Nic Cage's flowing locks in Con Air or Jean Claude Van Damme's greasy mane in Hard Target).
Reason number two: it's like a harder-hitting version of Home Alone, but without the annoyance of Macauley Culkin (no stranger to the mullet himself, but nothing comparable to Thomas's)
Reason number three: the antagonist - a looney who dresses up like Santa to terrorise the kid and his grandpa - is genuinely disturbing. He kills mullet boy's pet dog with a cake slice, ferchristsakes, right in front of the lad's eyes - how messed up is that?
Reason number four: the kid's mum is a MILF.
Reason number five: the mansion in which the action takes place. It's a fantastical, sprawling, magical playground, with hidden doors, booby traps, a literal maze of corridors, and a secret area full of toys. In short, it's every kid's dream home.
Reason number six: the style. Forget Tim Burton.... this is how you do a dark fantasy. René Manzor's direction is superb, every scene a feast for the eyes, with particularly impressive set design and camerawork.
Reason number seven: it's not all smiles and rainbows at the end - that kid is going to be emotionally scarred by his experience for years after. A mullet like that is bound to have long-term psychological consequences too.
Reason number eight: the soundtrack, which includes some Creedence Clearwater Revival (great to shake your mullet to) and a surprisingly good song by Bonnie Tyler.
8.5/10, rounded up to 9 for IMDb.
Reason number two: it's like a harder-hitting version of Home Alone, but without the annoyance of Macauley Culkin (no stranger to the mullet himself, but nothing comparable to Thomas's)
Reason number three: the antagonist - a looney who dresses up like Santa to terrorise the kid and his grandpa - is genuinely disturbing. He kills mullet boy's pet dog with a cake slice, ferchristsakes, right in front of the lad's eyes - how messed up is that?
Reason number four: the kid's mum is a MILF.
Reason number five: the mansion in which the action takes place. It's a fantastical, sprawling, magical playground, with hidden doors, booby traps, a literal maze of corridors, and a secret area full of toys. In short, it's every kid's dream home.
Reason number six: the style. Forget Tim Burton.... this is how you do a dark fantasy. René Manzor's direction is superb, every scene a feast for the eyes, with particularly impressive set design and camerawork.
Reason number seven: it's not all smiles and rainbows at the end - that kid is going to be emotionally scarred by his experience for years after. A mullet like that is bound to have long-term psychological consequences too.
Reason number eight: the soundtrack, which includes some Creedence Clearwater Revival (great to shake your mullet to) and a surprisingly good song by Bonnie Tyler.
8.5/10, rounded up to 9 for IMDb.