The Children (1980)
6/10
Emo zombie kids.
24 June 2020
A school bus drives through a radioactive fog (the result of a leak at the local nuclear power plant), turning the young passengers into black-finger-nailed zombies with a deadly, corrosive touch.

Having seen my fair share of 'killer kiddie' horror, I've come to the conclusion that it is extremely hard to make minors scary: it's unusual for children to possess the necessary acting chops to appear genuinely dangerous. The Children (of Ravensback) does little to alter my opinion that murderous movie moppets are rarely effective, but it does have a great premise, one that could work well as a remake, so long as a talented director is calling the shots and the casting goes beyond hiring the producer's children.

To be fair, this film isn't unwatchable, thanks to quite a few gruesome deaths, a willingness to kill off anyone, no matter how young, and a feeling that everyone involved was at least trying their best to create something entertaining (the cast might not be Oscar winners, but they're likeable). When the terrible tykes grab hold of someone, it causes the skin to blister and burn, which leads to some fun make-up effects, and respect is due for inflicting such a painful death on two unlikely victims: pretty farmer's daughter Suzie (Joy Glaccum) and little kid Clarkie (Jessie Abrams). I honestly didn't expect either one to die.

I also admire the fact that there wasn't what I would call a happy ending -- no antidote is found for the children -- the only way to deal with the problem being to hack off their hands, killing them in the process. The dismembered remains of several kids are shown in the aftermath.

Bonus marks too for the bizarre scene in which the town sheriff visits influential citizen Dee Dee Shore (Rita Montone), who nonchalantly sparks up a doobie in front of the cop while her partner Jackson Lane (John P. Codiglia) pumps iron by the pool, and for a subsequent scene in which millionaire Sanford Butler-Jones (Martin Brennan) persuades Deputy Harry Timmons to let him through a roadblock. Neither moment has any real bearing on the plot and one wonders what purpose they serve (although Brennan was apparently a drug dealer who supplied coke to the cast and crew, which might answer that query).

I will, however, deduct those marks for several reasons: Harry Manfredini's score is extremely derivative, borrowing heavily from Psycho, Jaws, Halloween, and even the composer's own music for Friday the 13th; the predictable 'twist' ending is lame; and the scene in which deadly youngster Paul (Jeptha Evans) scratches at the window of poor little Clarkie, waiting to be let in, is ripped off from Salem's Lot. Did they really think we wouldn't notice?

5.5/10, rounded up to 6 for IMDb.
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