Review of A Christmas Story Live!

Life is like that. Sometimes, at the height of our revelries, when our joy is at its zenith, when all is most right with the world, the most unthinkable disasters descend upon us. 2017's 'A Christmas Story Live', a live musical television performance that aired on FOX is one such example. It was so frustrating to watch, as it was made by people that clearly don't understand the source material. Based on the short stories of humorist author, Jean Shepherd. This musical remake of the 1983 film of the same name, focus on the 1940s story about a child named Ralphie Parker (Andy Walken) on his quest to get a Red Ryder BB Gun for Christmas, when everybody else, thinks, he shouldn't. To its credit, for most of the special, there wasn't a lot of botches and miscues when it come with the camera work, audio, lighting and musical timing dancing sequences. However, the pacing for this, was not good. There a lot of unrelated loose ends subplots that weren't needed like the girl learning to type. Plus, the musical numbers were a little too frequently, crammed in, without much breaks between them. Not only that, but the dance numbers last a little way too long for my taste as well. Some of them could had been cut, like the out of place modern day opening song from singer, Bebe Rexha; that look like something out of the TV show 'Glee' & the preview performance from the cast of 2017's film, 'the Greatest Showman'. Both had nothing to do with the film. Then, there was song sequences that had little to do with the main plot like the old man (Chris Diamantopoulos) doing crossword puzzles & mother (Maya Rudolph) singing about her domestic housewife life. I really don't get why the parents have fantasy daydreaming sequence now. It's jarring, because the story is told through Adult Ralph (Matthew Broderick)'s memory of his childhood. Then, again, song like 'He Won a Major Award' fit into the mold of the original movie, however, it still come across, as filler. Plus, it's way over the top to a point that it seem unconnected. Then, there is the musical numbers that could had been cut as they were already similar songs with the same premise. A good example of this, was 'Ralph's Nightmare' & '"You'll Shoot Your Eye Out" about the fears of Ralph of not getting his wish. To add on that, the catchy 'Ralphie to the Rescue' & 'Red Ryder Carbine Action BB Gun' western dance sequences could had been combined as well, so that the live event didn't have the 3 hour run time. There were already enough patting in the original film with all the subplot. This musical didn't need to add more to it, like a song about Hanukkah. That sequence felt does really oddly place, since its showcase during a live special entitled 'A Christmas Story', with the goyish main character. Plus, putting Hanukkah into this, is really opening a can of worms. What's next, Kwanzaa, Dongzhi, Shabe Yalda & Newton-mas spotlight, whenever they do any type future Christmas special! That's really too SJW for my taste. It's going seem more of a mess. Not only is it, not going to appeal to progressives; it's going to upset the majority of traditionalists, big time. It's really not worth it. Just do a one off Hanukkah special, instead. Let's Christmas specials, be about Christmas. Simple as that. Anyhow, the music written by Benj Pasek and Justin Paul was mostly alright, however, the acting & singing throughout this special, were not that impressive. A good example of this, was Rudolph & Walken; they can't sing a tune nor capture the magic of the original performers from the 1983 movie. The only person that came close was Diamantopoulos, who was surprisingly, very entertaining to watch throughout this special. Regardless, most of the performances seem kinda hasty & rushed rather than normal & leisurely. Most of the recycled off tiresome repetitive color jokes told by them, including the sexual innuendos, under aged swearing and slapstick humor need the right amount of timing to work. Without it, most of the punchlines will fall flat than carry laughs. That's what happen here. It was butcher. Plus, it seem tamer. One such example was the narrator played by Matthew Broderick. He seems like he was awkwardly silently speed reading without much emotional depth, rather than taking his time, speaking loud and clearly. Don't get me wrong, Broderick can be a good actor, especially in musicals at times. However, this was not his best. He didn't conjure much of a mood, create a sense of place, evoke laughter, and bring the whole thing to life to the piece. It's such a letdown, because he does have somewhat of a soothing voice. Too bad, FOX couldn't just use the same old recording of Jean Shepherd narrating, again. It would had made this special better. Instead, we got cheesy angelic sound effect that follow Broderick, whenever he speaks. That was really tacky. Regardless, the musical was shot pretty well and the use of old timing locations really made it seem like it takes place in the early 1940s. However like many spin offs, prequels & sequels that follow the 1983 film. It ultimately falls short. It was a fudge to get through. Can't recommended seeing. Watch the original, instead.